Amazon.com
We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity" conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman
Book Description
Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.
Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation
Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.
"Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times
"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist
"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters
"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman
Download Description
"What is a difficult conversation? Asking for a raise. Ending a relationship. Saying ""no"" to your boss or spouse. Confronting disrespectful behavior. Apologizing. Conversations we dread, and often handle clumsily as a result, are part of all our lives: in boardrooms and family rooms, across the negotiation table and the dinner table. Now, Difficult Conversations teaches us how to handle these dialogues with more success and less anxiety. How does it work? Based on fifteen years of research and consultations with thousands of people, Difficult Conversations pinpoints what works. The authors discovered that regardless of context, the same small but crucial errors are what trip us up--and a few key adjustments can make all the difference. * The role of emotions--ours and theirs * The impact of what is said and what is not said * Why admitting our mistakes will put us in a stronger position * The truth behind the myth that women are better at expressing their emotions than men * How to respond productively in the face of personal attacks Who is this for? Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations is certain to be an instant and lasting classic for families, neighbors, bosses, employees, customers, tenants, landlords, psychologists, teachers, and more. Who are the authors? Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and at the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have consulted to countless businesspeople, governments, organizations, and communities including all parties to the negotiations on constitutional transition in South Africa; school teachers in Medellin, Colombia; and community leaders and the police department in Springfield, Massachusetts. They lecture throughout the world and have written on negotiation, conflict resolution, and communication. Bruce Patton is co-author of Getting to Yes."
Customer Reviews:
Will you ever have a hard conversation? Sure, you will! Read this book first........2007-09-21
This little book can be a great help. We all have avoided conversations we knew were going to be difficult. Often not talking made things worse, so as things became intolerable we had the discussion and things got even worse. These authors break down the inner structure of difficult conversations and how we often mishandle them. They then show us the ways in which we can turn this into a constructive process that brings more understanding, greater cooperation, and learning that will help avoid repeating the difficulties in the future.
Certainly, I can't recap the whole book in this little review, but I especially like their concept of three conversations happening within each difficult conversation. They are the debate over what happened, the feelings conversation, and the identity issues. In the what happened conversation the problem is that each side assumes it knows the truth, that they know the other party's intentions, and that they know where and how to assign blame. Of course, all this is a fiction and a waste of time. It does nothing to fix the situation or improve the process to avoid the problem in the future. The book then shows you how to have a constructive approach to the same problem. Excellent stuff!
The authors are part of the Harvard Negotiation Project and has a foreword by one of the authors of the famous book, "Getting to Yes". The book is concise, but full of very good information. I recommend it very much.
Reviewed by Craig Matteson - Ann Arbor, MI
Difficult converations.......2007-09-17
this book is well worth the read,
it is easy to get throught, and does not repeat itself.
You want to read the whole book.
nancy carlson
great read.......2007-08-27
This book is used as a textbook at the Harvard MBA. Good tool for those messy conflicts
Best Book on Communication.......2007-08-24
This is the most useful and comprehensive compendium of effective, research validated, communication concepts I have ever seen in one book. Useful for anyone who speaks with other humans, especially significant others, business colleagues and teenagers. If you are a coach, this reading is required. Difficult ideas presented in a way that makes them easy to understand and easy to apply.
Quality of Life Must Read.......2007-08-04
Difficult Conversations, by Stone, Patton, and Heen, is a foundational book in the literature of holding difficult conversations in purposeful ways. I have read it often and use its principles in my teaching and in daily life. Underlying its principles is the simple understanding that we can get better at listening, talking, and acknowledging what is actually going on in our relationships; that we create the reality of our lives by the ways in which we talk about it; and that one conversation at a time, we can choose to work with the energy of conflict instead of avoiding it. There are many good books on this topic. I suggest reading them all, starting here.
Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict
Amazon.com
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages.
Book Description
You Can Stop Fighting With Your Chidren!
Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know–how you need to be more effective with your children and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down–to–earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
Their methods of communication, illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action, offer innovative ways to solve common problems.
Customer Reviews:
ONE GREAT PARENTING BOOK.......2007-09-30
I learned many ways of listening to my children, making them talk, very helpful in many ways. One great parenting book. A MUST HAVE FOR MOMS and DADS!! My husband read too and helped him to see a whole new way of managing trantuns and every day circunstances with the children.
There are better books on the market on this topic.......2007-09-25
This book has a lot of little cartoon drawings which I personally find annoying in a book geared towards adults. In the book and the cartoon drawings there are many sample conversations of what a parent should say and then how the child will respond. Most of the cartoon scenarios depict best case results, with the children positively responding when the parents use the tactics suggested in the book. I can see where some parents might like this book and some children might respond positively. However, I think it seems a bit naive on the part of the authors to assume that all children will respond exactly as they predict based on being talked to in a certain way.
Instead of buying this book I would recommend the book Assertive Discipline by Lee Canter and Marlene Canter. I suspect the ideas in that book would be more applicable to a wider variety of children's personality types.
Such a BIG difference in my family!.......2007-08-16
Wow I thought I was an encouraging loving mother until I read this book, there are all kinds of little things I was doing that were kind of undermined my kids self esteem and confidence! What a shocker for me! I have also read How To Talk So Kids Can Learn, another EXCELLENT book. That book was the beginning of a much more positive homeschool situation and excelled learning!!! Both books have transformed me from a frazzled tired Mom to a much less stressed one, knowing simple ways to make a difference in my kids lives...the best part is that the more confident and happy the kids are (and the happier I am from not being so overwhelmed) the better they behave daily! I checked the book out from the library but am going to buy a copy of my own to keep and share!!! I wish every parent and teacher could read this book!
too short! like cliff notes or a trailer to a movie - get the book instead!.......2007-08-08
I got this CD thinking it would be an easy way for me to be productive on the subway to and from work. By the time I got home... I had listened to the whole CD!! That's it! I was very disappointed, because the content was great, and I wanted to hear more. I neglected to read that this was an "abridged" version of the book. Too bad, it felt like one chapter out of a book rather than the whole book. I got the book for my 3 pregnant girlfriends and they were all really excited to read it (as were some of their husbands). I own the authors' book about how to talk so kids listen and learn, and i think the principles taught are wonderful. I have yet to try them on my future students, but I have secretly tried their techniques on my husband and it seems to work with him :).
An easy way to relate.......2007-07-28
I have a toddler and also teach high school. This book works for both situations! The illustrations support the concepts presented. Everything is so easy to follow. It even works while talking to my husband when I try not to get irritated with him!
Amazon.com
With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too--as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. --Richard Farr
Book Description
When parenting authorities Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish sat down to write the national bestseller
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, they found that they couldn't contain their chapter on sibling rivalry.No matter how much they tried to pare down their advice, they found the subject inexhaustible -- and their readers agreed!
The result is this seminal book -- revised and updated after more than ten years of feedback from parents' letters, TV and radio talk shows, and Faber and Mazlish's highly successful parenting workshops.
Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquillity with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Illustrated, action-oriented, and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.
Customer Reviews:
The best parenting book I've ever encountered.......2007-09-13
This book reads like a novel. I literally could not put it down, staying up way past my bed time and paying the price the next day. It describes a multi-week workshop that the author held. Each week there are stories from the parents, ideas from the lecturer, questions, problems, hearts being poured out, family stories, including the tales of the adults (now parents) who survived difficult sibling situations. You get to know some of the people in the workshop, and you live through the ups and downs of applying workshop ideas to their families. You want things to end well and you wait with abated breath for what happens next.
On top of that, the ideas are eye-opening, life-changing and at the same time so obvious! Like, how could I fail to see that?!
Never have I encountered such an excellent read in parenting books, nor, come to think of it, any non-fiction that comes to mind. Just don't start reading it at night! You could be a very cranky mommy in the morning!
Simplistic.......2007-08-30
This book, proposing to teach parents how to raise siblings who don't hate each other and whose adult lives aren't still ruled by childish pain, contains a few gems. I will keep from it several bits of insight as I raise my two kids.
However, I found much of this book far too simplistic. I was turned off by the pages of cartoons that seemed to imply that with one simple phrase from mom or dad, kids would stop fighting and get along. I also found the constant description of the workshop to be distracting and contrived, like the authors were unable to put together a book that answered all of the necessary questions about their methods without having these disembodied voices posing the necessary questions. In creating these voices, too, it seemed it was always the disgruntled man who opposed and questioned everything these enlightened women had to say. The whole writing style struck me as unprofessional.
Overall, this book was decent for skimming, and it left me with a couple of ideas to ponder, but it didn't succeed in dramatically changing my parenting style, and I don't feel like it will end the sibling rivalry in our household. My search for peace continues.
Really helped me with the toddler years.......2007-08-13
I have 3 children 3 & under and this book really helped me to understand why my children were acting the way they were and gave great insight on ways to help.
What was most helpful was the examples and questions in the first couple of chapters. It was also helpful to understand that children do have strong emotions and need a way to express them.
I read this book at the same time as Kids, Parents and power struggles and they seemed to work together.
i recomend it warmly.......2007-07-29
great book!
i wish it was more easy to put it to practice, but that is not the fault of the authours.
Great.......2007-05-11
This book is just great. It is essencial in your life if you have two or more kids.
Book Description
Playfully illustrated, this fun, easy guide for identifying personality styles provides insights as to why people behave as they do. Based on Don Lowry's True ColorsÒ model, you will discover tips for understanding, appreciating and relating to each style. Lighthearted anecdotes convey concepts in “real life” situations, offering immediately useful methods for resolving conflicts, opening lines of communication, and enhancing personal effectiveness. Convenient reference lists and a set of color character cards are included for easy determination of your True Colors spectrum. The end result is a celebration of the uniqueness in yourself and others.
Customer Reviews:
Awesome Book!!!!!!!!!!.......2006-11-05
True Colors is a true way to learn how to communicate and learn how to deal with other people. Being the Blue personality that I am, I have learned how to read other colors. I have learned how to deal with strong Gold personalities. Every boss and/or organizer should pick up this book to learn how to deal with the people they work with. It will make life so much easier. Buy this book today!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showing Our True Colors.......2005-03-05
Mary Miscisin's book was outstanding! It was a fun and easy read, yet full of informative and interesting ideas about people and how and why they act the way they do. Having been an educator for many years, this is THE book I could have used long ago to better interact with my students and their parents. The book's content makes easy what Myers-Briggs tries to do. I would recommend it to anyone who has a desire to deal more effectively with children or adults.
Color Me Satisfied.......2005-03-04
Easy to read, full of wisdom. I never could figure out how to use Myers-Briggs. I can use this everyday with everyone I meet. Useful for all ages, both sexes. Entertaining presentation helps emphasize a language of Colors that is non-threatening, non-emotional, and constructively wonderful
Life-long Learning!.......2005-03-04
As an educator with 30 years experience in the classroom and in coaching, I wish I could have read Mary Miscisin's book 30 years ago! I would have been a much better teacher and coach because I would have had a much better understanding of my students and athletes and how to more effectively communicate with them based on their colors. I couldn't put the book down because I kept meeting past students as well as people I know now represented in Miscisin's creative and stimulating examples. "Showing Our True Colors" was so challenging and packed with information, yet so simple to understand and implement. Every parent, teacher, and coach ought to read the book. It is a must for couples and anyone who wants to communicate more effectively. Where was this book when I needed it? Oh, yeah, I still do need it today. Thanks Mary!
Easy-to-Use Reference Guide.......2004-11-16
Miscisin and company do an excellent job of taking a complex topic, stripped it of the "psycho-babble" that can turn you off (or at least give you a headache) and presented it in a fun, easy to use guide on different styles. As a Human Resources professional. As a person who just wants to know more about me and those with whom I interact, it's been of phenomenal help. Most helpful is the section on "when colors fade". It has provided insight into how to manage and assist people who are in the middle of burnout and are heading downhill personally and professionally. Read it because it is interesting and informative. Hang on to it because it is because you'll keep referring to it.
Book Description
What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? And what if individually and collectively we systematically misunderstand that cause, and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
Through an intriguing story of parents struggling with their troubled children and with their own personal problems, The Anatomy of Peace shows how to get past the preconceived ideas and self-justifying reactions that keep us from seeing the world clearly and dealing with it effectively. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. As the story unfolds, we discover how they came together, how they help warring parents and children to come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. The choice between peace and war lies within us. As one of the characters says, "A solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well." This book offers more than hope — it shows how we can prevent the conflicts that cause so much pain in our lives and in the world.
Customer Reviews:
Enlightning.......2007-09-15
This is a wonderful book that takes you on a journey of self discovery. It is a must for anyone that really wants to understand why they have problems in any relationship and how to change them for the better. The book is well worth the price, and time to read it. If the things you read are implemented it will change your life!
Jonesy.......2007-09-12
Many books are described as life changing. This is that rare one that is truly life changing. Having read Terry Warner's book, Bonds That Heal, I had some background in the philosophy and was already impressed with the profound changes that were possible if an individual, or company or nation, was committed to living these concepts and making them a part of the fabric of their life.
That said, as I spoke to others about Bonds That Heal it become apparent that some individuals were intimadated by the depth of thought required to read and understand Mr. Warner's work. Anatomy of Peace is written in parable form that makes it an easy read. Although the story is simple it engages the readers' emotions and sympathy and opens their heart and mind to change.
I am glad to have found both of these books and recommend them to anyone who is ready for a better life.
Finding Inner Peace.......2007-08-23
This book can be life changing in giving a person effective tools for dealing with relational conflict. It will be revolutionary for many. I have shared it with many friends.
The Real Deal.......2007-08-21
I'm always cautious about reading reviews that glorify books and products-but I can't help but say that this book was the most useful book i have opened in a long long time. Having a passion for psychology I have over the years read a multitude of psychology and relationship books- many of which attempt to explain the roots of human behaviour but fail due to superficial explanations and feel-good case studies. What i discovered in the Anatomy of Peace was not only a deep and profound assesment of the human heart and its root in human suffering and hurt, but a way out of such harmful behavioural patterns. I loved this book!
Great insights to human nature!.......2007-08-05
This book has been enjoyed by me, my husband, my daughter, my son and several of his extended family members.
Great book. I need to read again so I can digest all the concepts.
Average customer rating:
|
Why Can't We Get Along?: Healing Adult Sibling Relationships
Peter Goldenthal
Manufacturer: Wiley
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 General
| Self-Help
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Child Psychology
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
| Development
| Psychology
Clinical Psychology
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Mental Health
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Conflict Management
| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Family Relationships
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
Siblings
| Family Relationships
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Parenting
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
Look Inside Health Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
Look Inside Parenting Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
All Amazon Upgrade
| Amazon Upgrade
| Stores
| Books
Health, Mind & Body
| Amazon Upgrade
| Stores
| Books
Parenting & Families
| Amazon Upgrade
| Stores
| Books
Similar Items:
-
Sibling Revelry: 8 Steps to Successful Adult Sibling Relationships
-
Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member
-
Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them
-
Make Peace With Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement
-
My Sister, My Self
Accessories:
-
philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
ASIN: 0471388424 |
Book Description
Praise for Peter Goldenthals previous books:
"[Dr. Goldenthals] techniques...are presented with insight and clarity. This is a unique and valuable book." âWilliam B. Carey, M.D., Clinical Professor of Pediatrics, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine
"Peter Goldenthal gives us new insights.... This is a must-read book." âMyrna Shure, Ph.D., author of Raising a Thinking Child
Hasnt it gone on long enough-the rivalry, the jealousy, the pent-up anger, and the grudges rooted in the past? In this book, renowned author and family psychologist Peter Goldenthal offers proven prescriptions for brothers and sisters who want to break through old, destructive patterns and create a richer, more loving, and more rewarding relationship with their adult siblings.
Using dramatic case histories drawn from his own clinical practice, Dr. Goldenthal helps you understand why adult siblings fight. Warmly and insightfully, he presents practical techniques to:
- Communicate with-and listen to-your sibling
- Free yourself from past resentments
- Cope with your siblings selfish or inconsiderate behavior
- Support and comfort a sibling who suffers from mood problems
- Manage a siblings difficult personality
- Help your children avoid sibling problems
Dont let old hurts and destructive behavior patterns overshadow the love you feel for your sibling. Read Why Cant We Get Along? and find the key to establishing warm and loving sibling relationships that will last a lifetime.
Customer Reviews:
Why Can't We Get Along.......2002-04-02
Even adult siblings sometimes can't break long-standing rivalries or anger. Instead of turning your back on the relationship, read this book, and turn a new leaf. The author gives practical communication tips that will free you from the past and allow you to look to a brighter future with your sibling. For anyone looking to improve his or her sibling relationship, don't miss this book.
Book Description
Based on scientific research, this groundbreaking study from the frontiers of psychology and medicine offers startling new insight into the healing powers and medical benefits of forgiveness. Through vivid examples (including his work with victims from both sides of Northern Ireland's civil war), Dr. Fred Luskin offers a proven nine-step forgiveness method that makes it possible to move beyond being a victim to a life of improved health and contentment.
Customer Reviews:
WONDERFUL!.......2007-05-13
Simple healing treatise on Resentments and fear that we carry throughout our lives. Just reading it starts the healing process through forgiveness. Forgiveness is possible, is the message of this book, no matter what has happened in your life. I highly recommend this book.
Forgiveness.......2007-05-08
I bought this for a class and have decided it was the only one of the 5 books we had to get that I would keep. The part I was most effected by was the unenforceable rules. That idea made such sense I wish I would have learned it a long, long time ago!
Great book on forgiveness, highly credible...........2007-04-14
This book by Frederic Luskin is an excellent and thoroughly researched volume. It is very readable, gives a good methodology that is practical and is written from a space of compassion and in-depth knowledge.
This book stresses a Western medicine perspective, but it also honors the heart. I think it strikes a nice balance between head, heart and practical skills that can be immediately applied to daily life.
Other reviewers have written more detail, so I won't repeat what they have written. However, as an integral coach who works with hurting people daily, I give this book my endorsement as an important resource on forgiveness and the health benefits associated with taking your power back through letting go and forgiving.
Useful methodology.......2006-11-19
I took Fred Luskin's forgiveness training class online, and read this book. I am simply astonished at how well his methods work, and how quickly.
I was coming out of a long depression, and two and half years of deep therapy for incest, and a whole lifetime of terrible relationships. Most of the work in analysis was done, but I had huge feelings that I couldn't put to rest. Anger. Grief. Fear about about the future.
Fred's methodology is very practical and sensible. It's easy to learn, and easy to do. It's a discipline, so you have to exercise it. But what I found was that, when I had these bad feelings and I went through the discipline, I could not only manage the feelings, but also gain insight and peace of mind.
This is exactly what I'd hoped for, because I knew that all these negative emotions were keeping me from moving on with my life. I highly recommend the book and the online course.
Outstanding.......2006-09-27
This book is far more than just about forgiveness.Having tried to deal with forgiving for years this book has given me more insight into my behavior than help from a great therapist! I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to live better and be a peace with themselves.I have underlined my copy and plan to return to it periodically.
Book Description
Adam Kahane spent years working in the world's hotspots, and came away with a new understanding of how to resolve conflict in a way that seems reasonable - and doable - to all parties. The result is Solving Tough Problems. Written in a relaxed, persuasive style, this is not a "how-to" book with glib answers, but rather, a very personal story of the author's progress from a young "expert" convinced of the need to provide cold, "correct" answers to an effective facilitator of positive change - by learning how to create environments that enable new ideas and creative solutions to emerge. The book explores the connection between individual learning and institutional change, and how leaders can move beyond politeness and formal statements, beyond routine debate and defensiveness, toward deeper and more productive dialogue. Both tough and inspiring, the book explores models, technologies, and examples that foster and facilitate "dialogues of the heart."
Customer Reviews:
Listening and generative dialogue.......2006-08-14
Adam Kahane (2004) said that a friend of his told him that the old "1960s slogan `If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem' actually misses the most important about effecting change. The slogan should be, he said, `If you're not part of the problem, you can't be part of the solution.' If we cannot see how what we are doing or not doing is contributing to things being the way that they are, then logically we have no basis at all, zero leverage, for changing the ways things are--except from the outside, by persuasion or force" (pp. 83-84).
Any problem is part of a system, in other words, and if we are experiencing the problem, then we must, by definition, be a part of the problem. This book explores this concept and provides many tools and examples to help resolve conflict through deep listening and generative dialogue.
Enables deeper connections across communities.......2006-07-11
Mr. Kahane's book is the tip of the iceberg - a great start for someone looking for reflective practice that provides the skills and methods for addressing difficult challenges - individually and organizationally. The perspectives in Solving Tough Problems are from the heart, and present a valuable contribution to the growing awareness of how social technologies can provide containers for creating new realities...definitely recommended!
Jerry's review on Solving Tough Problems.......2006-03-17
At last! An easy to read book true to Bohm's vision of dialogue that will begin moving the subject from an esoteric phenomenon to a practice attainable by many. This book should not be considered as a primer on dialogue that could replace works such as "On Dialogue" or "dialogue, the art and practice of thinking together", rather it presents the author's experience in practical application of many of the concepts and principles discussed in those earlier works.
Not sure what I was expecting .......2005-12-31
I was expecting much more from this book,at times it seemed to be the author's bio instead of giving/sharing the best practices of how to go through an approach in solving difficult issues.
Building bridges.......2005-08-12
In a world beset by problems, this book offers real hope. Adam Kahane shares the techniques he has used in many of the world's trouble spots to bridge differences, establish a genuine conversation among adversaries, and create a positive future. This is not an academic book. It's based on real experience. Wherever we are called to end conflict, heal differences, and build collaboration we can learn from its lessons.
Book Description
How many ways are there to say 'I'm sorry?' Well, it depends on your language of apology. Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. Best-selling author Gary Chapman has teamed with counselor Jennifer Thomas to explore the different languages of apology and reach a whole new audience with this easy to follow and quickly applicable communication tool.
Customer Reviews:
OK Book.......2007-09-26
Some good stuff but some of it is psycho-babble that only exists in the minds of the authors.
Saving Relationships!!.......2007-07-30
This is one of the greatest books that I have read. Pratical techniques that could probably save relationships (marriages, family relationships, friendships,etc.) I greatly recommend this book for pre-marital couples, married couples, friendships even working relationships. The principles in this book has opened my and my husband eyes on our apology languages. When sorry doesn't seem good enough, find out why!!!
Gary Chapman.......2007-07-22
After reading "The Five Love Languages" by Dr Chapman. I had to own this. I bought it as a wedding gift and hope it will be as life-changing to the newly weds as it was to me.
One of the Better Installments in the "Five Languages" Series.......2007-06-12
This book is one of the better installments in the "Five Love Languages" series of Gary Chapman. Having read the original Five Love Languages title and a few of the follow-ups, this one provides the most additional fresh material to the initial volume. Being able to communicate a sincere apology is an increasingly needed skill in today's age of dodging responsibility and laying blame on others. Chapman and Thomas do a good job in providing the reader insight as to how to apologize in five different styles, depending upon the recipient's personality or "apology language." Included with the book are an apology profile and a group study guide. For anyone wanting truly to make amends in a fractured relationship, this volume is a good place to start.
Good, but could be better!.......2007-06-04
The book presents five methods to express an apology. Your job is to identify the preferred method of your spouse/significant other, family members, co-workers, etc., then use their primary method when offering an apology. I'm sure the authors' idea in writing this book was to build on their "Five Languages" series of books, which is a clever idea; however, in my opinion, a better idea would have been to title the book "The Art of Apologizing" or perhaps "The Five Steps to a Sincere Apology" and teach readers to use all 5 methods in all apologies. One example in the book tells of a man who was annoyed by his girlfriend's continual complaining and negativity. When he confronted her, he was blown away by her response. She used all 5 languages and he knew, without a doubt, it was a sincere apology. They have had the best relationship ever since and plan to get married. Had the girlfriend narrowed her apology to one or two languages, the boyfriend probably wouldn't have been blown away, and their relationship may not have turned out nearly as well. I say, why limit an apology to anything less than all 5 languages. Give the one you offended a full, complete, and sincere apology and let the healing begin.
Book Description
Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour.
Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.
Customer Reviews:
A must for anyone who deals with difficult people.......2007-08-15
I am an acoustical and systems design consultant, and prior to that have held jobs in sound contracting and public assembly facility technical operations for a total of approximately 25 years. As anybody who has worked in the entertainment, performing arts, hospitality, or religious world can attest, I come into contact with more than my fair share of difficult people and tense situations.
This book and the courses authorized or taught by its author were highly recommended to me approximately 15 years ago by a police lieutenant who gave a guest lecture in a criminology class I was taking in college. This same officer also mentioned the book at an in-house training event at the university sports/concert arena where I worked at the time. It is with no small amount of embarrassment that I must report that it took me until last year to "get around to" buying and reading this book. I certainly could have used its advice, even years before it was written!
Suffice it to say that Verbal Judo is the type of book that is enlightening upon the initial read-through, but whose true value only comes from steady effort to change one's behaviors from long-held bad habits. I believe learning would be far more effective with ongoing practice and coaching, just as with a physical martial art. However, until such a dojo opens its doors in my fair city, I shall have to make do with re-reading the book and discussing its application with others who have been similarly blessed by its wisdom.
Outstanding book and program.......2007-07-16
We are taught Verbal Judo in my line of work. It's an outstanding program. The book goes into how the program originated and explains it in detail. If you're into law enforcement, security or EMS this book should be mandatory reading.
A must read for all Law Enforcement........2007-06-19
I have heard the term "verbal judo" tossed around at work since first becoming a Deputy Sheriff with a metro Atlanta Sheriff's Office almost a year ago. For a few years verbal judo was taught to all new deputies but apparently our department let our certification lapse and as such when I joined it had ceased to be taught.
Well I want to be the best deputy that I can be and thus I went and ordered this book. I couldn't put it down! I carried it with me while I worked at the jail and read it in my office on my down time. In two days I finished the book and felt like I had a new weapon to add to my arsenal when dealing with people.
I liked the book so much, I actually loaned it to another deputy on my shift and like wise he couldn't put it down. Another deputy saw him reading the book, asked him where he got and she then proceed to track me down and ask if she could borrow the book next.
The books made me rethink all the altercations I have had at the jail and even in life. How I could have handle things better. As I prepare to go to academy in September and then shortly afterwards, the road, I feel that by taking the time to educate myself on this vital concept, I have greatly helped prepare myself for not only the road but for life itself.
THIS BOOK REALLY,REALLY, SUCKS!!!.......2007-06-06
THIS BOOK TITLE IS VERY MISLEADING..IT DOESN'T GIVE THE TYPE OF KNOWLEDGE IT IMPLIES..IF YOU WANT ANY TYPE OF SKILL, IN TERMS OF COMMUNICATION OR OTHERWISE, THE 48 LAWS OF POWER HAS IT! AS DOES ALL OF ROBERT GREENES OTHER BOOKS..THAT IS AN AUTHOR THAT DOESN'T FALSE ADVERTISE! HE TEACHES EXACTLY WHAT HE CLAIMS AND MUCH MORE!CHECK HIM OUT.THE ART OF SEDUCTION BY GREENE IS ALSO MUCH MORE HELPFUL IN VERBAL SITUATIONS, THOUGH NOT AS MUCH AS HIS OTHER TWO BOOKS.BUYING HIS THREE DEFINITELY WON'T DISAPPOINT
The 48 Laws of Power
Very good book.......2007-05-24
I found this book very interesting and useful.
I wish only not to forget to refresh verbal judo guidelines - I tend
to return to my old , not sophisticated ways of dealing with difficult people..
The idea of "Verbal Judo" makes all the ideas in this book memorable
and significant . Good attitude and wise form of presentation.
I really thank the author for this remarkable book
Books:
- Economics: Principles, Problems, and Policies, 16th Edition
- Enlightened Leadership
- Essential Managers Manual
- Essentials of Business Communication
- Essentials of Organizational Behavior (8th Edition)
- Excel 2003 for Dummies
- Financial Management: Theory and Practice with Thomson ONE
- Freakonomics [Revised and Expanded]: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
- Fundamentals of Financial Management (with Thomson ONE - Business School Edition)
- Game Theory: A Nontechnical Introduction
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- The Art of Innovation: Lessons in Creativity from IDEO, America's Leading Design Firm
- How to Teach Art to Children
- Conducting Technique for Beginners and Professionals
- Directory of United States Importers 1999
- Decision Support Systems and Intelligent Systems
- Lover Revealed
- History: Fiction or Science
- Intermediate Accounting: An Income Approach
- Famous First Bubbles: The Fundamentals of Early Manias
- Into the Niger Bend: Book One of the Barsac Mission
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
Getting Past No
Crucial Confrontations
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Sucess at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time
