The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Great time reading and laughing
  • Great book
  • Stating The Unspoken
  • I love this book!
  • Accurate Potrayal of Many Work Environments
The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't
Robert I. Sutton
Manufacturer: Business Plus
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0446526568

Book Description

The No Asshole Rule is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Week bestseller. It won a Quill Award for the top business book of 2007, and was recently chosen as one of audible.com's top picks as well.

Customer Reviews:

4 out of 5 stars Great time reading and laughing.......2007-10-02

Lot of truths mentioned in the book... Wish there were more, especially when it comes to government entities... Just have to be diligent about "practicing" the tips and tricks provided.

5 out of 5 stars Great book.......2007-09-28

This is a great book that has a good level of scholarly support but written in an easy-to-read style that should appeal to most audiences.

5 out of 5 stars Stating The Unspoken.......2007-09-23

Everybody knows the abuse-of-power types that this book outlines. Too often companies/cultures put the onus on victims to adapt, and get-along. What that approach does is allow managers to NOT do their jobs - and that is to confront dysfunctional behaviors clearly and directly.

Dr. Sutton takes a no holds barred approach to defining culture up front. Letting the community know what is and is not acceptable behavior. I wish that he would create a study of companies that are this direct in dealing with behavioral problems, bring the concept along further with specifics of what works and what doesn't.

The "avoidance approach" clearly is not a true solution, but as he states in the book if management will not address the organization's asses, and you want to keep your job, it is the best option sometimes.

A few times in my life I've worked in environments where the assholes have kissed upward so much that they are well connected. And poorly skilled career bureaucrats looking to keep their position, single these emotionally inept people out as stars to be heralded - because heralding a well connected asshole makes you an ally. In each of those situations, I've watched the best people move on, managerial incompetence thrive, motivation deteriorate, and a fairyland scenario of pretending flourish. What a sad state of affairs that leads to.

Bringing the difficult concept of an actual asshole present in the mix, naming what is unspoken, is an essential element in this work. Further development of the idea, refinement of behavioral understanding could only continue to develop greater awareness of truly sly assholes that are skilled to be non-confrontational to those above them and non-approachable to those below.

A meeting with such people present vs. absent is like day and night. Personally experiencing this, I saw groups transformed from demotivated-lackluster-lifeless chair slugs to excited-active-contributors. Such culturally (negatively) controlling individuals cost an organization far more than can ever be measured.

The book is worth the read if only for the stories. But, the principles, the validation, are the real meat and potatoes. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED, and if you can't gift it directly, then throw a few copies into envelopes and drop them in your managements' mailboxes. It's about time the pretending to be nice facade gives way to true comprehension of what civility is, and the complete disregard for it will not be tolerated.

5 out of 5 stars I love this book!.......2007-09-22

I urge everyone to read this book, whether they're in an office environment, or just dealing with day-to-day situations. I've bought three copies so far to give to co-workers and family, and I may need more!
The minute you open the book, you will SO recognize what is described!

5 out of 5 stars Accurate Potrayal of Many Work Environments.......2007-07-22

I commend Bob Sutton for publishing this book. It is apparent many jobs expect you to tolerate a coworker or superior whose behavior is off the chart yet protected and sometimes endorsed by management. The cost to a business is high and Bob did a great job of quantifying it. I highly recommend this book if you work in a toxic environment. Bob outlines some great strategies for succeeding in such an environment and discusses how to create policies to prevent one person's inflated ego from sinking the ship.
The Glass Castle: A Memoir
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Inspiring
  • Jeannette Walls
  • A Disturbing but Positive Memoir
  • THANK YOU JEANETTE and your entire family for sharing your life!
  • Absolutely amazing!
The Glass Castle: A Memoir
Jeannette Walls
Manufacturer: Scribner
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 074324754X

Amazon.com

Jeannette Walls's father always called her "Mountain Goat" and there's perhaps no more apt nickname for a girl who navigated a sheer and towering cliff of childhood both daily and stoically. In The Glass Castle, Walls chronicles her upbringing at the hands of eccentric, nomadic parents--Rose Mary, her frustrated-artist mother, and Rex, her brilliant, alcoholic father. To call the elder Walls's childrearing style laissez faire would be putting it mildly. As Rose Mary and Rex, motivated by whims and paranoia, uprooted their kids time and again, the youngsters (Walls, her brother and two sisters) were left largely to their own devices. But while Rex and Rose Mary firmly believed children learned best from their own mistakes, they themselves never seemed to do so, repeating the same disastrous patterns that eventually landed them on the streets. Walls describes in fascinating detail what it was to be a child in this family, from the embarrassing (wearing shoes held together with safety pins; using markers to color her skin in an effort to camouflage holes in her pants) to the horrific (being told, after a creepy uncle pleasured himself in close proximity, that sexual assault is a crime of perception; and being pimped by her father at a bar). Though Walls has well earned the right to complain, at no point does she play the victim. In fact, Walls' removed, nonjudgmental stance is initially startling, since many of the circumstances she describes could be categorized as abusive (and unquestioningly neglectful). But on the contrary, Walls respects her parents' knack for making hardships feel like adventures, and her love for them--despite their overwhelming self-absorption--resonates from cover to cover. --Brangien Davis

Book Description

Jeannette Walls grew up with parents whose ideals and stubborn nonconformity were both their curse and their salvation. Rex and Rose Mary Walls had four children. In the beginning, they lived like nomads, moving among Southwest desert towns, camping in the mountains. Rex was a charismatic, brilliant man who, when sober, captured his children's imagination, teaching them physics, geology, and above all, how to embrace life fearlessly. Rose Mary, who painted and wrote and couldn't stand the responsibility of providing for her family, called herself an "excitement addict." Cooking a meal that would be consumed in fifteen minutes had no appeal when she could make a painting that might last forever.

Later, when the money ran out, or the romance of the wandering life faded, the Walls retreated to the dismal West Virginia mining town -- and the family -- Rex Walls had done everything he could to escape. He drank. He stole the grocery money and disappeared for days. As the dysfunction of the family escalated, Jeannette and her brother and sisters had to fend for themselves, supporting one another as they weathered their parents' betrayals and, finally, found the resources and will to leave home.

What is so astonishing about Jeannette Walls is not just that she had the guts and tenacity and intelligence to get out, but that she describes her parents with such deep affection and generosity. Hers is a story of triumph against all odds, but also a tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a family that despite its profound flaws gave her the fiery determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms.

For two decades, Jeannette Walls hid her roots. Now she tells her own story. A regular contributor to MSNBC.com, she lives in New York and Long Island and is married to the writer John Taylor.

TO INQUIRE ABOUT SCHEDULING JEANNETTE WALLS FOR SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS PLEASE CONTACT:

Keppler Speakers

Dustin L. Jones

Associate, College & University Division

703.516.4000 (P)

703.516.4819 (F)

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Inspiring.......2007-10-05

Absolutely inspirational and motivational for anyone who has lived such a life and still come out on top. It is indicative of a child who has much more intuitiveness than most adults, as well as a lesson in forgiveness.

5 out of 5 stars Jeannette Walls.......2007-10-04

Thank you for visiting our school, Ms. Jeannette.
I figured you'll probably see this, since you said you like Amazon.

Your book has truly touched me. I just wanted to say I admire you more than anyone in this world.

I feel very fortunate to have had to opportunity to meet you ... at the school paper (Grits) meeting, the service leader meeting, in the Science & Technology lobby, and at the Senior Girls Lunch.

I admit, I also feel a little guilty because I mean ... PG "educates" the most spoiled Charleston kids who spend most of their time partying, drinking, and wasting time. It's a phenomenal school with a brilliant faculty, but the majority of the student body takes their gifts for granted. I hope your story and your truths have gotten through to some of them.

I'm so glad you are where you are now and I'm so glad you're happy.

For anyone else reading this review, go out and buy the book right now. It will change you forever.
For anyone who has written reviews accusing Ms. Walls of lying, please open your minds. If you ever meet her, or even hear her speak, you'll know immediately that every word is true.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
Alice Phillips, Senior, PGS (Charleston).

PS: You're right - everyone has something.

5 out of 5 stars A Disturbing but Positive Memoir.......2007-10-04

What an eye opener. I'd like to believe every parent does the best they can, but as I read "The Glass Castle" I really had to ask myself, "Is this the best they could do?" I found myself wincing at times as I read the memoir. However, I couldn't put the book down, and the love Jeannette Walls has for her parents despite the neglect and disregard she endured, shows the incredible strength of the human spirit. To a society in which some people blame their lack of stability on a bad childhood, this book is a gift and a must read.

5 out of 5 stars THANK YOU JEANETTE and your entire family for sharing your life!.......2007-10-03

An excellent book so engrossing I could not put it down. I love to read, but this book has moved me and stayed with me longer than any other. This book shows that you can break the chains that bind when you are focused. I've been in recovery many years and I appreciate the work involved in writing, along with courage in sharing, such intimate details of a family history. I will be recommending this book for years to come. Thanks again.

5 out of 5 stars Absolutely amazing!.......2007-10-02

An amazing account of how one can overcome her/his circumstances instead of "blaming" the parents. A real page turner and so well written. I had put off reading this book for many months (thinking it would be too depressing to read) until a co-worker said, "It's really a good book."
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • It took me 3 years to read this wonderful book
  • Great Book!
  • Audio version
  • Detachment
  • CO DEPENDENCE NO MORE
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Melody Beattie
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

CodependencyCodependency | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0894864025

Book Description

Three years on the New York Times bestseller list, CODEPENDENT NO MORE first identified attitueds, feelings, and behaviors now recognized as hallmarks of codependency. Checklists, activities, and self-tests provide concrete tasks to help readers examine the nuances of codependency in their lives.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars It took me 3 years to read this wonderful book.......2007-09-12

The words in this book pierced my denial armor. It hurt me so badly to see myself on almost every page, that I could only read a few pages a month. It is the ONLY self-help book (well, besides "The Language of Letting Go") that I own. If you let it, it can help you change your inner self...that's how powerful it is.

5 out of 5 stars Great Book!.......2007-08-30

I bought this book and it basically describes me perfectly! I love this book and it has definitely helped me get over some of the issues I am/was facing.

5 out of 5 stars Audio version.......2007-08-23

Excellent audio CDs. I did not realize how co-dependent I was until I listened to them and they have helped me rethink so many of my actions or reactions. They have helped to bring peace to my life and help eliminate worries and control issues. I listen to them each time I have alone time in my vehicle.

5 out of 5 stars Detachment.......2007-07-31

I think every person co-dependent or not, alcoholic or not should read this book. It applies to our every day strugles in life. There no normal family.
Thanks, Jill

5 out of 5 stars CO DEPENDENCE NO MORE.......2007-07-05

This book is just great . It helps you to see what is going on in your life , that you may not want to see . It is a real eye opener . It will change you forever .
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Nonsmokers Using the Easyway Method
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • This is a must buy!
  • IT Worked (for me)
  • I don't know how and I don't know why but...
  • One More Believer
  • Stop Smoking Now
The Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Join the Millions Who Have Become Nonsmokers Using the Easyway Method
Allen Carr
Manufacturer: Sterling
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1402718616

Book Description

A new edition of the revolutionary bestseller, with four million copies in print. Allen Carr’s innovative Easyway method—which he discovered after his own 100-cigarette-a-day habit nearly drove him to despair—has helped millions kick smoking without feeling anxious and deprived. That’s because he helps smokers discover the psychological reasons behind their dependency, explains in detail how to handle the withdrawal symptoms, shows them how to avoid situations when temptation might become too strong, and enables them to stay smoke-free. Carr discusses such issues as nicotine addiction; the social “brainwashing” that encourages smoking; the false belief that a cigarette relieves stress; the role boredom plays in sabotaging efforts to stop; and the main reasons for failure. With this proven program, smokers will be throwing away their packs for good.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars This is a must buy!.......2007-10-05

This book turns your mind around and enables you to see cigarettes for what they really are.

They are not your friends and they really don't calm you down, help you to think straight or help you cope. They are merely a vehicle for a drug which is nicotine and smoking simply relieves your withdrawal symptoms.

This book was my first step in becoming a successful non-smoker.

You will not regret reading this book and this comes from someone who smoked for 30 years and had tried stopping numerous times. Please read if you are considering becoming nicotine free.

4 out of 5 stars IT Worked (for me).......2007-10-04

Anyone who uses nicotine products would benefit from this book. I read the book and was able to quit (three weeks without a cigarette as of this writing). But more importantly, Allan Carr gives the reader some mind opening truths about smoking. Whether you quit smoking or not after reading the book, you'll see the truth in yourself about the nicotine.
So, I recommend the book. It was written twenty-some years ago, but the truth ages very well, indeed.
Now, honestly, the quitting wasn't "easy" for me, but I was able to stop smoking. I was a pack a day smoker for thirty some years, six or seven real attempts to quit. This time is different,I'm not miserable trying to sneak cigarettes. I'm not punching walls. The cravings are gone. I've never had this happen before. I'm really a non-smoker.
My intention was to come back to this review in six months and tell those interested if I was still a non-smoker, which I believe is a better review of the book.

5 out of 5 stars I don't know how and I don't know why but..........2007-09-28

It worked for me too. I am EIGHT months "smober" this month and I don't miss the evil weed one bit. The first few weeks were a bit difficult but not nearly as difficult as pre-Allen Carr. I was a former pack a day smoker for at least 15 years and I too had tried everything else under the sun.

Just give it a try with an open mind. It is repetitive and it does tell you lots of stuff you already know. Don't worry about it. Just read it. Sometimes it seems silly. It doesn't matter. Just read it. Smoke to your hearts content while doing it, but read it.

5 out of 5 stars One More Believer.......2007-09-27

Yes, this book works. No, I didn't believe it.

I'm still not exactly sure how or why it works, but it does. It's actually quite poorly written, but it really is easy and it really does work. If you want to quit (and that is key), this book will help you become a non-smoker. Believe it.

5 out of 5 stars Stop Smoking Now.......2007-09-27

I have tried so many times before to quit. After reading this, I found ways to change my thinking. So far, 1 week, which is the hardest. But this time it isn't. I have smoked 32 years and have tried everything before. This is so easy, it is hard to believe it works. Read this book and try the methods. Quitting is a mental thing, not physical like I thought before. You can really control your mind.
The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series)
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Daily Inspiration
  • Ok
  • Great inspiration - I love it
  • Recovery for Anyone a Woman or Man
  • best meditation book for me!
The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series)
Melody Beattie
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0894866370

Book Description

For more than a decade, millions of readers have turned to Beattie's classic meditation book, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO, as a wellspring for daily reflection, affirmation, and change. With honesty and encouragement, she reminds readers that each day is an opportunity for renewal.

Customer Reviews:

4 out of 5 stars Daily Inspiration.......2007-09-12

I bought this book along with another of Melody's. I think she is a very caring and understanding person and this book gives me daily readings to keep up my spirits and know that I am not alone and I can fix my own problems. I wasn't expecting a daily devotional type of book, but I am so glad now that I have it. They say one day at a time.. and right now that's what I'm giving.

2 out of 5 stars Ok.......2007-08-03

Not what I expected it to be. More religious than I prefer and definately works with the AA platform which wasn't what I wanted.

5 out of 5 stars Great inspiration - I love it.......2007-06-03

Melody Beattie has an amazing way of inspiring and clarifying. I have loved everything that I have read of hers....Definitely buy this!

5 out of 5 stars Recovery for Anyone a Woman or Man.......2007-05-17

This book has an inspirational meditation for every day of the year. I have had mine for 6 years and I purchased 4 for some friends and they love it. It gives me things to think about for the health of my mind and soul on a daily basis. I love this daily meditation book.

5 out of 5 stars best meditation book for me!.......2007-03-15

Great daily meditation book for codependents. I love it! Every entry has something in it that really grabs your attention and has you saying "that's so me!" Great author, I love her.
A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • A Child Called "It" review
  • Will make you cry, a must read
  • I couldnt put the book down
  • Dave Pelzer is one courageous guy
  • h-oookay.....
A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive
Dave Pelzer
Manufacturer: HCI
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1558743669

Amazon.com

David J. Pelzer's mother, Catherine Roerva, was, he writes in this ghastly, fascinating memoir, a devoted den mother to the Cub Scouts in her care, and somewhat nurturant to her children--but not to David, whom she referred to as "an It." This book is a brief, horrifying account of the bizarre tortures she inflicted on him, told from the point of view of the author as a young boy being starved, stabbed, smashed face-first into mirrors, forced to eat the contents of his sibling's diapers and a spoonful of ammonia, and burned over a gas stove by a maniacal, alcoholic mom. Sometimes she claimed he had violated some rule--no walking on the grass at school!--but mostly it was pure sadism. Inexplicably, his father didn't protect him; only an alert schoolteacher saved David. One wants to learn more about his ordeal and its aftermath, and now he's written a sequel, The Lost Boy, detailing his life in the foster-care system.

Though it's a grim story, A Child Called "It" is very much in the tradition of Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul and the many books in that upbeat series, whose author Pelzer thanks for helping get his book going. It's all about weathering adversity to find love, and Pelzer is an expert witness.

Book Description

This book chronicles the unforgettable account of one of the most severe child abuse cases in California history. It is the story of Dave Pelzer, who was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother: a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games--games that left him nearly dead. He had to learn how to play his mother's games in order to survive because she no longer considered him a son, but a slave; and no longer a boy, but an "it." Dave's bed was an old army cot in the basement, and his clothes were torn and raunchy. When his mother allowed him the luxury of food, it was nothing more than spoiled scraps that even the dogs refused to eat. The outside world knew nothing of his living nightmare. He had nothing or no one to turn to, but his dreams kept him alive--dreams of someone taking care of him, loving him and calling him their son.

Customer Reviews:

4 out of 5 stars A Child Called "It" review.......2007-10-01

A Child Called "It" is an amazing book about the struggles of a young boy and his abusive mother. Though this book was disturbing and cruel, I thought it was very well written and the author had a great writting style. I thought some of the most disturbing parts were when David would be burned on the stove or locked in the bathroom for gas chamber sessions. I also hated that some of his greatest memories were at his favorite vacation spot and his mother ruined those for him. I think it is important that Dave let out his feelings and experiences in this book. I hope that he has found a way to move on with his life and not let the past ruin his present and future life.

5 out of 5 stars Will make you cry, a must read.......2007-10-01

A Child Called it is and insperational true story about a young boy named David Pelzer being physically abused in his own home by his own Mother. The book shows how David made his way through life dealing with his horrific mother. He keeps his motivation through being drown, being burned, beat, forced to eat the contents out of a babies diaper, and countless other things while fighting for food in order to avoid starvation. He eats food out of trash cans, steals from students, and eats out of freezers in order to survive. This child's life was a living hell, but ahd the dedication to make his way through it with courage and bravery. This story is a must read that will bring you to tears and keep you motivated

5 out of 5 stars I couldnt put the book down.......2007-09-27

I could not put this book down I read it in an hour and a half without stopping for anything. This story although so heart breaking needed to be told.. For the man who wrote this telling book 5 STARS and for the book aswell

5 out of 5 stars Dave Pelzer is one courageous guy.......2007-09-24

I really have to speak up here. This review is for anyone who might be tempted to think that Dave made this stuff up. I am relatively sure it's all true because my childhood was similar to his.

Child abuse by parents really only came out of the closet, so to speak, in the 1990s. The myth was, and is, that ALL adult females are ALWAYS motherly. We now know that mothering is a learned skill, and is NOT instinctual in humans.

Take the story of Cinderella. It is too grotesque to think that a biological mother could be evil to a child, therefore the mother-figure is downgraded to "stepmother." For anyone who has been abused by one's mother such as myself, it is patently clear that this story is not about a stepmother -- it's about a biological mother. European culture could not face that a biological mother could betray her girl-child as in the story.

My experience of my biological mother (whom I call "anti-motter") was not unlike Dave's, only having occurred ten years earlier and in upstate New York. When I was about 18 months' old, she picked me up out of my crib and smashed me into a wall. I shouldn't be alive. By the early 1990s, these memories came flooding into consciousness. She never 'fessed up. If I did some small infraction like didn't finish my veggies, my anti-motter sent me to the cellar for 3-6 hours, and it was one scary cellar with its cold dirt floor, damp sump corner, and spiders. While other kids were out learning social skills by playing with other kids, I was forced to spend Saturdays scrubbing floors, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, starting in 5th grade.

There were no protections back then for kids. Abuse was not seen as abusive, and people in schools, libraries, neighbors, extended family did not put two and two together, and certainly did not "out" it. As the saying goes, when abuse was seen, people "minded their own business," and it just wasn't respectable to INTERFERE with other families' child-rearing techniques, and it was perceived as interference. Spanking was common. Until World War II, beatings were typical. Society in general thought nothing of treating kids harshly and without compassion. Child abuse was not on the map at all as a possibility. The "caregiver" (that is, abusive parent) could quite literally get away with murder. If a toddler fell downstairs breaking her neck and died, it was not investigated -- it was assumed to be "a terrible accident."

Anyone who doubts Dave's accounts and experiences has not been what I went through living with a brutal biological mother in the 1960s. A person could not think this stuff up if it were not true. Dave Pelzer does not seek attention -- he wants people to listen up and prevent it from happening to other kids. And it *will* happen to other kids unless we know the signs and risk stepping in as powerful adults. So just learn from Dave's many side-tales, and become aware.

Females are no more "motherly" than a rock unless they had nurturing females who treated them with dignity and kindness growing up. My anti-motter was herself battered as a child, never recovered from it, and did pass it on to her kids. Thank God neither my brother nor I had kids because we likely would have passed the hatred to the next generation. Not having kids was the only way we knew how to "break the chain of violence." Some lineages deserve to die out.

Dave Pelzer is a life-saver. He has said what I had not the courage or awareness to. He is an amazing fellow for bringing his stories into the light of day. He deserves respect, not ridicule. He is hero. If I were Catholic, he'd be a saint.

1 out of 5 stars h-oookay............2007-09-23

All these five star reviews and the apparently wet faces of the readers was an impetus for me to seize the book and read it the first chance I got. I'm a sucker for tear-shedding novels, so you could understand my excitement and my all-too-ready sorrow for this "non-fictitious" little boy. Unfortunately, for my great regret, for both the work and my wasted time, what I read from that book was not at all what I expected. From the first page the story just barfed at me "I'm fabricated, synthetic as can be." The whole story has no point whatsoever, except that of morbid, preposterous describtions of events that we can't even prove to be true. Even if it were true, why would the author write about something like that? Who is he writing to anyway? What kind of helpful message is THAT to anyone? A story about falling off your bicycle & breaking your arm and learning a lesson about caution and attentiveness is more practical and useful than this piece of dross.
I could never undestand why some particular people's minds function the way they do. If you really want to read stories about survival, skip this one and read actually a book from this world, that can actually be put to use, starting from The Diary of Anne Frank.
Motivational Interviewing, Second Edition: Preparing People for Change
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Nice for a far, a afar from nice
  • Good in a litigious society
  • Great book for counselors or perspective counselors.
  • A Must Read
  • Motivational Interviewing
Motivational Interviewing, Second Edition: Preparing People for Change
William R. Miller , and Stephen Rollnick
Manufacturer: The Guilford Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1572305630

Book Description

Since the initial publication of this breakthrough work, motivational interviewing (MI) has been used by countless clinicians. Theory and methods have evolved apace, reflecting new knowledge on the process of behavior change, a growing body of outcome research, and the development of new applications within and beyond the addictions field. Extensively rewritten, this revised and expanded second edition now brings MI practitioners and trainees fully up to date. William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick explain how to work through ambivalence to facilitate change, present detailed guidelines for using their approach, and reflect on the process of learning MI. Chapters contributed by other leading experts then address such special topics as MI and the stages-of-change model, applications in medical, public health, and criminal justice settings, and using the approach with groups, couples, and adolescents.

Customer Reviews:

3 out of 5 stars Nice for a far, a afar from nice.......2007-06-01

Great product that is missing a flash memory in the USB chip.

5 out of 5 stars Good in a litigious society.......2007-05-22

This book is a compilation of papers written by over 35 professors outstanding in their field. They all offer different views of MI but basically they are in accord as to its effectiveness. What struck me as being the single greatest aspect of this technique is that there is no way that the patient can misconstrue what you are saying, as you are basically reflecting back the very ideas the patient is using for the patient to examine. In this way, the possibility for lawsuits is greatly minimized. And this is a good technique for the new therapist unsure of themselves.
-the author of the book The Vampire Tom Bartek

5 out of 5 stars Great book for counselors or perspective counselors........2007-05-16

This is a terrific book on counseling. Insightful, practical and an easy read! Contains excellent examples.

5 out of 5 stars A Must Read.......2007-03-23

Excellent resourse for the person interested in helping others in a host of different treatment settings. For people in the helping fields, this technique offers new ways of viewing treatment resistance, goal ambivalence, and goal achievement. In utilizing this technique, we enable the client/consumer to be able to formulate plans and goals for themselves in the future, returning them to an increased level of functioning in the community. The adaption of MI in various treatment settings with divergent clients has long been awaited.

5 out of 5 stars Motivational Interviewing.......2007-02-09

This is a good book to read and keep. The chapters are easy to read because they are not too long. The information is easy to grasp, apply and retain. I definitely recommend this book.
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Everything you need to know - for starters
  • An Excellent Book for Recovery
  • Help put words to the turmoil you go through
  • Begin To Understand
  • 12 Step as a treatment?
Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
Ph.D., Patrick Carnes
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1568386214

Book Description

Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives.. "Out of the Shadows" is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Everything you need to know - for starters.......2007-09-22

I purchased this book for my husband shortly after discovering his sexual addiction. He found it spoke to him so profoundly that he insisted I read it as well. It has a lot of information on a difficult topic presented in a way that just makes sense. By the end of the book, I felt real hope for his recovery. We have since purchased numerous other books by this same author.

5 out of 5 stars An Excellent Book for Recovery.......2007-08-17

I've been in and out of therapy for nearly ten years trying to figure out what exactly was going on with me, but I realize now my problem was I was trying to treat my symptoms, like anxiety and depression, instead of the real problem. I read "Out of the Shadows" and was shocked at how accurately it described me and my life, and I realized my addiction has been destroying relationships with people I love and controlling my life for over half of my life. I'm a bit apprehensive about 12-step programs, but I'm fortunate to have a father who has completed the program and believes in it, so I've signed up today and will give it a try. From the book, the strangest thing about recovery is this paradox: you have to admit that you are powerless over your addiction in order to begin separating yourself from it. I had always thought I had to just ignore cravings like I did to quit smoking, or fight tooth-and-nail with willpower. But you have to seek help outside yourself to really get better. It's going to hurt, but not as bad as the fact I've lost forever some relationships I wish I could have back. I won't do that again.

5 out of 5 stars Help put words to the turmoil you go through.......2007-07-16

Reading this book has helped me find the path towards the journey to finding the right words to describe what I was going through. As a codependent, you feel isolated, this book will make you feel like you are not going crazy and you are not alone! If you have a partner struggling and in denial, buy two of them and read the book together. Realization is part of the keys towards recovery.

5 out of 5 stars Begin To Understand.......2007-07-13

This book is essential for anyone who is struggling with sex addiction. It provides insight and wisdom that helps to unravel the mystery and reduce the shame around compulsive sexual behavior.

This book is sometimes criticized for suggesting that 12-step programs should be a regular part of the addict's recovery. While this may be an issue for some people, I strongly suggest that you not let it deter you from buying the book. The suggestions are merely suggestions, and shouldn't be interpreted as being absolutely essential for one's recovery.

Regardless of whether or not you agree with everything that is suggested, this book will still teach you a great deal about the nature of sexual addiction, and open the door for you to make the changes necessary to rid yourself of this toxic, compulsive behavior and improve your relationships with friends, family, and yourself.

3 out of 5 stars 12 Step as a treatment?.......2007-06-04

In reading Out of the Shadows Dr.Carnes is very much in favor of a 12 Step program to treat sex and love addiction. In my opinion, this is a disservice to people afflicted with this behavioral problem; I'm one of them. I've been to many SLAA meetings, and know that sitting in a room and listening to other dysfunctional people recite stories is not therapeutic. No feedback from experts is provided, in fact no feedback at all is provided. It's empty words falling on empty ears. Additionally, many of the attendees are addicted to 12-Step programs and go to a different on several times per week. Many attendees have deeper psychological problems than sex addiction and need help that a 12 Step program couldn't possibly provide.

There is no evidence that 12-Step programs work any better than any other type of behavioral intervention. As Dr.Carnes must know, there is much evidence that they don't work at all and that there is an extremely high failure rate for all 12-Step programs. The concept that God will fix it, that you are powerless, that by turning it over to the ever-popular "higher power" will make everything better...I can't believe that a man of Dr.Carnes' education would suggest that ANY behavior or addiction treatment could benefit from such nonsensical concepts. Additionally, calling sex and love addition a disease is inappropriate and untrue. Cancer is a disease. Alcoholism is a disease. Sex and love addiction is a learned, acquired and adopted habit/behavior. While I believe the book offers very real life examples of the damage this behavior can do, it gives false hope to people by suggesting that by starting a 12-Step program, a program with such a long history of lies, deceit and failure, they can change their behavior and their lives.

I realize all meetings aren't the same, but the 12-Steps they're based on are, and there is much evidence to suggest that this method of recovery is, at best, flawed.

The Lost Boy: A Foster Child's Search for the Love of a Family
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • The brave boy
  • Dave's story helped me during really tough times.
  • The story continues
  • My Hat Goes Off To Dave Pelzer
  • Best book!!!
The Lost Boy: A Foster Child's Search for the Love of a Family
Dave Pelzer
Manufacturer: HCI
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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  1. philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 1558745157

Book Description

Imagine a young boy who has never had a loving home. His only possesions are the old, torn clothes he carries in a paper bag. The only world he knows is one of isolation and fear. Although others had rescued this boy from his abusive alcoholic mother, his real hurt is just begining -- he has no place to call home. This is Dave Pelzer's long-awaited sequel to A Child Called "It". In The Lost Boy, he answers questions and reveals new adventures through the compelling story of his life as an adolescent. Now considered an F-Child (Foster Child), Dave is moved in and out of five different homes. He suffers shame and experiences resentment from those who feel that all foster kids are trouble and unworthy of being loved just because they are not part of a "real" family. Tears, laughter, devastation and hope create the journey of this little lost boy who searches desperately for just one thing -- the love of a family.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars The brave boy.......2007-05-25

I recommend this book because it is very interesting,and you do not want to put it down.In the book, I learned that I have a good life and that I should be thankful for everything I have after seeing what Dave has gone through in his life. I would read another book by this author because all of the books are sequels and at the end of each book you are left hanging and wondering what will happen next. These are some things about the The Lost Boy.

5 out of 5 stars Dave's story helped me during really tough times........2007-04-18

As a foster parent who accepted only one child at a time, I needed all the inspiration I could get. Dave's story not only inspired but also encouraged me. It is full of truths that make us aware of how blessed we are. Anyone who is interested in helping abused kids should read this book. With Great Mercy author.

4 out of 5 stars The story continues.......2007-04-14

Dave Pelzer gives a wonderfull account of his experiences of foster care in this sequel to A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive. In this book you begin to see the transition to a "normal" state of being, but it is not without it's problems.

5 out of 5 stars My Hat Goes Off To Dave Pelzer.......2007-04-06

All of Dave Pelzer's books are absolutely by far the best books I have ever read. I couldn't put them down!!!

5 out of 5 stars Best book!!!.......2007-04-06

Do you want to know how it feels like to have your parents not love you? Well thats how a little boy named David (the main charactor) feels in this story. David Pelzer is a young teenager who only wants the love of his parents, but his mother, doesn't love him... She keeps David in the basement, and she rarly ever feeds him!!!! Once David id put into foster care, he has to go to court, and the judge gets to chose whether to keep him in foster care, or to release him back to his parents. The judge chooses....... Well to find out you have to read this amazing book.
Dave Pelzer has written more books besides this one.. The Lost Boy is part of a three-part series... That includes A Child Called "it," The Lost Boy, and A Man Named David. I really think that Dave Pelzer is a great and wonderful Author.
This book will really make you cry and become very mad at the same time.. If parents read this book they will see what some parents really do to there kids. I would extemely recomend this book to others, becuase it is an adventure of one boys determination to find love. I think this book wouldn't be a good book for kids under 13, becuase it has some pretty foul language in it and they might not understand what is happening. When you start reading this book, you won't want to put it down until your done reading it..

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • What a horrible piece of bitterness
  • Finally
  • Relationship analysis
  • This Book Saved My Life....
  • Helpful advice on protecting yourself from verbal abuse
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
Patricia Evans
Manufacturer: Adams Media Corporation
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1558505822

Amazon.com

Are you now, or have you ever been, in relationships with family, friends, or mates who have been verbally abusive? Is your happiness with someone you love continually threatened by interactions that continually undermine your self-esteem? Do you feel trapped in a relationship that keeps decaying in a downward spiral of overt or passive-aggressive abuse?

If so, this book could be your life raft, either carrying you toward repair of the existing relationship or the effects of past relationships or offering liberation from your current confusion. Its practical approach can help clear your head and possibly change your life. The only criticism that I and other readers have is that the author assumes verbal abuse is almost always directed by males toward females, which, in my experience and that of others I know, is not necessarily the case. Highly Recommended.

Book Description

If you or someone you know answers "yes" to one or more of the following questions, this book is required reading:

Does your partner seem irritated or angry at you several times a week?
Does he deny being angry when he clearly is?
Do your attempts to discuss feelings of pain or emotional distress leave you with the feeling that the issue has not been resolved?
Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by his responses, as though you were each speaking a different language?

Almost everyone has heard of or knows someone who is part of a verbally abusive relationship-if they're not involved in one themselves. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll find validation and understanding-it's "not all in your head"-and encouragement for your efforts to change the situation. In this expanded second edition, author Patricia Evans explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.

Customer Reviews:

1 out of 5 stars What a horrible piece of bitterness.......2007-09-22

I read this entire book at my wife's request - but the book was thrown against the wall more than once. I guess if you listen to this pompous and self-righteous author, that makes me an abuser. Of course, her main point was that if I am a man, I am an abuser. You could hear the bitterness of her probably coming from a bad relationship.

Of course women love this book. According to his author, a women is not responsible for her own happiness, her husband is. You don't have to get very far into the book to see her ridiculous list of things that identify an abusive husband - she's not happy, she doesn't feel understood, she is confused, her husband gets angry, her husband doesn't tell her his feelings, her husband tells her his feelings.

Then you go on to some more indicators. What "red flags" should a woman look for to call her husband an abuser? If he brings her gifts, if he takes her to a nice restaraunt, if he says he loves her, if he doesn't understand her, if she doesn't understand him, if he talks to her, if he doesn't talk to her, if he asks her if everything is OK, if he pays too much attention to her, if he doesn't pay enough attention to her.

Then this author goes on with the feel-good psycho-babble. If you feel it - it is true. Do you feel alone - you have been abandoned. Do you feel sad - you are abused. Do you feel like you don't understand your husband - you are being deceived.

How did she get the information for this book? By talking to women - only women. Not one single man. She didn't determine if what the woman was telling her was accurate or a complete fictional account. Why wouldn't she talk to men? Because we're all abusers - why would she waste her time talking to any of us. This bitter lady is a certified man-hater and it appears to be her goal in life to break up as many marriages as possible.

She offers about 3 pages on how to keep a relationship together - but not before telling the woman that the only real solution is to leave your husband if he is an abuser - and we're all abusers. She goes on and on about how there is almost no chance whatsoever salvaging a marriage, so you might as well divorce your husband and live alone for the rest of your life.

This is a horrible hate-filled book and it saddens me how many marriages this bitter woman will destroy.

4 out of 5 stars Finally.......2007-09-11

My daughter said, "How does one study verbal abuse? The abuser denies it". So, this book is soooo helpful in describing the situation. Finally, someone understands! The author puts into words experiences so many have, yet cannot share. Not being able to share and be understood is a prison to the soul. The author also has some answers, and I'm sure more will come, even from the reader! If you think you're crazy, the "only one" who is unable to relate to your spouse, or a failure as a woman/spouse, a must read!

3 out of 5 stars Relationship analysis.......2007-08-30

This book is very "text bookish" and I feel it would be beneficial to have written this book as more of a story line and not so much repetition. I was hopefull that Patricia could have focused more on the "abuser" becoming less abusive and more cooperative with his mate. I do like the short questionares she recommends to take to determine an abusive status in a relationship. There is truely much to gain by this book, but I feel a more personable approach would have been better.

5 out of 5 stars This Book Saved My Life...........2007-08-12

With friends and family trying to convince me to stay with my husband...because he was the life of the party, so sweet and kind to them, and because I would be homeless and penniless if I left...
This book saved my life. I went from a "full-of-life" woman to a weak and depressed shell-of-a-person. I was so sad and exhausted from his verbal abuse that I didn't want to go on living.
So here I am, homeless and penniless..with nothing but the clothes on my back and Patrica's book under my arm. At least I know I am not crazy and that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
With all my heart...thank you.

5 out of 5 stars Helpful advice on protecting yourself from verbal abuse.......2007-08-10

Verbal abuse might not be as visible as physical abuse, but it can be just as damaging. What makes this type of abuse so insidious is that the victim blames herself, further weakening her self-esteem, instead of placing the responsibility firmly where it belongs - on the abuser. Patricia Evans unmasks verbal abuse in all its hurtful guises, from the most obvious such as yelling and name-calling, to the covert manipulations of sabotage, double-speak and denial. Evans bases her insights and conclusions on extensive research. She uses real-life situations and dialogue to shed light on this dark, destructive ailment - though she sometimes can be repetitive and unnecessarily complex. Her in-depth analysis of the dynamics of verbal abuse may be more suited to therapists and researchers than to victims seeking coping advice. Evans would be the first to say that if you are in imminent danger, get professional help or a cop. We recommend her book to anyone who might be in a verbally abusive relationship or who cares about someone who is. Therapists and counselors will also benefit from this well-researched thesis.

Books:

  1. The Science of Star Wars: An Astrophysicist's Independent Examination of Space Travel, Aliens, Planets, and Robots as Portrayed in the Star Wars Films and Books
  2. The Screenwriter's Bible: A Complete Guide to Writing, Formatting, and Selling Your Script
  3. The Secret
  4. The Simpsons One Step Beyond Forever: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family...Continued Yet Again (Simpsons (Harper))
  5. The Star Trek Encyclopedia
  6. The Women Who Raised Me: A Memoir
  7. The Works of William Wells Brown: Using His "Strong, Manly Voice" (Collected Black Writings)
  8. Thunderbird Falls (The Walker Papers, Book 2)
  9. Video Basics
  10. Ways of Seeing: Based on the BBC Television Series

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