Book Description
What’s going on in a man’s mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man’s rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their lifeâboyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sonsâare really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to âfreak outâ the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.
The Truth About His Inner Life
He Desperately Wants You to Know
What's going on in there? Ever been totally confused by something your man has said or done? Want to understand his secret desires and fears, his daily battles that you know nothing about?
In a woman-to-woman conversation you’ll never forget, Shaunti Feldhahn takes you beneath the surface into the inner lives of men. This book is about the things we just don’t âget’ about guys. With findings from a groundbreaking national survey and personal interviews of over one thousand men, For Women Only is full of eye-opening revelations you need to not only understand the man in your life, but to support and love him in the way he needs to be loved. Grounded in biblical hope, you will discover how to love your man for who he really isânot who you think he is.
Story Behind the Book
I had no idea how clueless I was about men until I interviewed a bunch of them for my last novel. Initially, I just wanted a little insight so I could write my main (male) character. But pretty soon I found myself astonished, over and over again blurting out, âThat’s what you’re thinking?â So I did more interviews. After the novel hit shelves, dozens of women told me they also had been astonished by what I included. Clearly I wasn’t the only one who needed more insight on this!
To lay the groundwork for this nonfiction book, I wrote out the half-dozen things from these interviews that had most surprised meâthings that appeared to be universal to most menâthat women desperately needed to know. I conducted a professional national survey of men to test my findings. Yepâthe survey substantiated every single one. These findings are fascinatingâand they have already changed my life and marriage. I can’t wait to share them!
Customer Reviews:
Great things come in small packages.......2007-08-31
I have read a lot of books trying to understand my fellow homosapiens and this did not most terrific job. I relate to my brothers, coworkers, leaders, and men I've dated so much better. I judge less and I find that I'm less insecure around men now.
Shaunti Feldhahn is not just an author, she is an EXCELLENT communicator........2007-08-20
For Women Only is the result of a survey of 400 men across the country who responded to a questionaire about their relationships. This book points out seven areas in which women have a surface understanding of men's needs or desires and delves into each subject in a way that leaves the reader grasping what that statement really means.
For example, the first point is that "men need respect". That seems obvious enough, but Feldhahn brings this into perspective with her survey result that 74% of the men would rather feel "alone & unloved" instead of "inadequate & disrespected", if they had to choose one of the two options. She then elaborates on this with several follow-up examples of ways women can either demonstrate respect or show a lack of respect. Some of which we don't usually connect with showing disrespect. On page 24, she quotes Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "In a relationship conflict, crying is often a woman's response to feeling unloved, and anger is often a man's response to feeling disrespected."
I would highly recommend this book to any woman who is serious about wanting to improve her relationship with her husband. The author has a way of transforming something you think you know into something you can apply to your everyday life, which isn't always an easy task.
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK.......2007-08-20
MOST INFORMATIVE. FIND THINGS U MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW AND IF YOU DONT DO A LOT OF RESEARCH ON RELATIONSHIPS THIS IS SOMETHING YOU PROBABLY WOULD NEVER NO OR UNDERSTAND IF YOU DONT READ THE BOOK
Extremely Helpful and Practical!.......2007-08-14
Realizing that there is always room for improvement, my wife and I have made it a practice over our almost 25 years of marriage to read marriage articles and books regularly. Nothing that we know of comes close to the helpful and pracitical insight we have received from "For Women Only" and it's companion book, "For Men Only". We strongly recommend it to every married couple. These two books, along with "Sheet MUsic" by Kevin Leman and "The Book of Romance" by Tommy Nelson are at the top of our list.
GREAT!!.......2007-08-06
I never thought I'd be writing a review for Amazon...but this book has given me a whole new outlook. I'm trying to survive my husband's midlife crisis and have been on a rollercoaster of emotions (more downs that ups). Recently, I found an article describing midlife crisis and just what a man goes through and I finally felt I had a better grip on "where he is coming from". The same day, I picked up this book (in the stack next to my bed); read it cover to cover, and it has changed my heart. I hope and pray that we make it through this, but I feel that this book has helped me see his life struggle more clearly. More importantly, it has shown me how I need to react...with unconditional love and respect rather than posturing and bitterness.
Book Description
FinallyâYou Can
Understand Her!
Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and âmapped.â In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and pleaseâas long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.
Finally.
You Can
Understand Her!
Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Have you given up trying to âgetâ the woman in your life? If so, you are in for a pleasant eye-opener: She can be understood. Even betterâyou can make her happy. Which will make you happy.
The bestselling author of For Women Only teams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, âIt’s not splitting the atom.â
What makes her tick? What is she really asking (but not actually saying)? Take the guesswork out of trying to please your wife or girlfriend and begin loving her in the way she needs. Easily. For Men Only is a straightforward map that will lead you straight into her heart.
And for every guy who rarely reads a manual:
Quick-Start Guide Included!
âWhen we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today , the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevantâgood stuff for every marriage. Read it!â
Dennis Rainey
President, FamilyLife
Story Behind the Book
âAs I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, âYou are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.â
âShaunti Feldhahn
Customer Reviews:
Just What I Needed.......2007-09-25
I got this book at a friend's recommendation. I'm getting married soon and I was hoping for some help. The book was very helpful and informative. I liked it for not being biased or a 10 step program. It's literally straightforward information on how most women think. It's already drastically altered the way I relate to my fiancée and it's helped us grow closer together. I'd recommend it to any man that wants a better relationship with his lady. This is a great book to help newlyweds get started out on the right foot.
Undserstanding a Woman.......2007-09-21
The Feldhahn's bring humor and wisdom into an amazingly complex topic - understanding a woman. While my wife certainly is mysterious to say the least, this book provided insights into why she says what she says, reacts the way she does to my words, and what I have done to build walls that she gave up trying to climb. I found that many of her problems could be influenced for the better by my willingness to understand her and speak to her on her terms. This book has helped me help my wife love me more fully. Humble yourself and read it!!
Read this with your significant other.......2007-09-21
Great book on the inner lives of women. Read this with your significant other and it will bring you closer. It is written from a Christian perspective, but this is not overly apparent.
Great book! 5 stars!
Perfect Wedding Book!.......2007-09-07
Ok, so I admit that I read some of my husband's book titled "For Men Only". It's his own fault for leaving it next to the toilet.
We received these as wedding gifts awhile back. I was really curious to see if what it said was true. I have to say that it actually provided some great insight into my own thoughts and feelings and legitimized my feelings for certain issues that have arisen in our relationship. I'd have to say that in my opinion this is a great book to help men understand the average woman. Men, if you've ever thought "That girl is ka-razy!", then this is the book for you!
Two thumbs up!
From a Woman.......2007-09-05
I read For Women Only and then read For Men Only and I loved it. While For Women Only provided much insight, this book provided a much needed sense of freedom to be a woman. For a long time, I had assumed that much of my personality traits were not good, but it was b/c my traits were different than guys and were not understood by the guys in my life. In reading the book, I began to understand that I was not crazy just a woman :)
Book Description
Postsecret.com founder Frank Warren is back with an irresistible addition to his bestselling PostSecret series. For The Secret Lives of Men and Women, Warren has selected a never-before-seen collection of postcards bearing the explosive confessions and captivating revelations of men and women everywhere. Created using photographs, collages, illustrations, and more, the handmade cards offer a compelling dialogue on some of today's most provocative topics—from marriage and infidelity, to parenting, office politics, repressed fantasies, and even abortion—daring us to consider how well we really know our friends, family, even ourselves.
Customer Reviews:
The secret lives of men and women.......2007-09-23
This is a fantastic book as are his others great insight to the human mind, plus makes you laugh cry and think.
Filled with insights.......2007-09-05
As a fan of the cult show this is the book to read lots of theories about the symbolism and meaning of the show. A great read pack with insights.
Interesting look into other's minds........2007-08-09
I think this project is amazing. After reading all of the books and getting the updates every Sunday from the website, I have come to realize that everyone has their own bag of crap to carry. It's a very interesting look into the minds of people and the secrets they carry around with them. Some funny, some sad. If you would like a book that is read in one sitting (everyone I have let see it has to look through the whole thing), this is the book for you.
Great!.......2007-07-15
It's the reading equivalent to searching through someone's medicine cabinet. It'll make you cry and make you giggle. Ultimately, it will make you contemplate your own secrets!
People Have Secrets Both Dark and Light.......2007-07-07
And secrets have power. It is a courageous and amazing thing to write down a secret and post it on a website. Some secrets are sweet, some are deep, and some are heartbreaking. But with each secret I read, I know that my secrets are not crazy. I'm just a normal person, like everyone else.
Amazon.com
Everything will be okay ... once you admit that Dr. Laura's always right. This companion volume to the radio advice factory's 1994 bestseller (which tackled the stupid things women do) serves up plenty of the no-nonsense, old-fashioned morality that her legions of listeners love. Brutally reductive--but not necessarily wrong--this book chalks up men's problems to trying to save "damsels in distress," refusing to admit to a healthy dependence on others, climbing the career ladder to the detriment of your relationships, denying the duty and pleasure of child-rearing, and many others. Whatever your personal reaction to her brassy, unapologetic style, Dr. Schlessinger is a refreshing antidote to the wishy-washy "everything's relative and everyone's different" trend that held sway for a time. Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess up Their Lives contains a lot of good advice--even though it has as much in common with instant soup mix as with therapy.
Book Description
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking.
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
- Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.
- Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.
- Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.
- Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.
- Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
- Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."
- Stupid Husbanding
Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.
- Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.
- Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
- Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Download Description
For every woman who wants to know what her man is thinking.
Internationally syndicated radio superhost and columnist, controversial psycho-therapist, and author of the break-out New York Times bestsellers How Could You Do That?! and Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, Dr. Laura Schlessinger is back with Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
In ten vital, compelling chapters, Dr. Laura speaks her mind on:
- Stupid Chivalry
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.
- Stupid Independence
Unwilling to admit "need" for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex.
- Stupid Ambition
Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power, and status.
- Stupid Strength
Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected, you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.
- Stupid Sex
Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a "sign," you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms.
- Stupid Matrimony
Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to "fix it."
- Stupid Husbanding
Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as though you were single and your "mommy-wife" will take care of everything else.
- Stupid Parenting
Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true "soul food" of a child's hug.
- Stupid Boyishness
Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy.
- Stupid Machismo
Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.
Customer Reviews:
Finally, a book worth reading!.......2007-05-13
I have never really been into self-help books. After listening to Dr. Laura on the radio, this book was mentioned for guys just like me. There were a few places where I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but that happens to me anyway. I was amazed to see how well she could see how guys really think, and to guide us in a perfect direction was brilliant! I only wish that I could have read this book 15 years ago. Maybe my life would have taken a different direction. I hope that more and more young people can read, understand, and apply the teachings that this book has to offer.
10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.......2007-03-30
I am a 62 year old man. Had I this book starting out, I would not have messed up my life. As I read, and look through the book, I am encouraged to know that I am not alone in the world in stupidity. There is hope for me, yet. I look forward to reading the rest of the book and growing and wisdom and hopefully in a relationship with a woman.
Chapter one should be required reading for every 14-year-old.......2005-03-04
Brought up in a strong Christian tradition, I felt obligated and eager to give whenever asked and pretty much offered myself as a sacrifice for whomever came along...espcecially the Damsel in Distress. Such attitudes brought me to a place of usefulness in my career (physician) but also exposed me to the "Stupid Chivalry" trap. I lost a few fortunes and much sleep before I finally got slammed hard enough to be a little more careful with offering myself and the fruits of my labor. This book helped me see when I was about to make a useful sacrifice and when I was about to waste time or money (Stupid Chivalry) that might be better directed toward another person (How to know when I'm playing the Knight and when I'm playing the Fool).
Would I have listened had this book been required memorization material at the age of 14? I don't know. But, all three of my sons will be required to practically recite chapter 1 to me before they leave home for college.
The rest of the book speaks practical self defense for the moral minded; but chapter 1 seems to be the most useful.
Also, read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Glover if you have trouble doing too much for the wrong people at great cost to yourself and to those who really need you most.
--Charles Runels, MD
Author of "Anytime...for as Long as You Want: Strength, Genius, Libido, & Erection by Integrative Sex Transmutation (A 15-Day Course for Men to Improve Life and Sex)"
An Excellent Educational Tool.......2004-11-20
Like the book for women, this book is also used as an educational tool in the juvenile facility where I volunteer my time. It is an excellent book for young men to read, and hopefully follow.
Direct Advice - Better than the Cover Suggests.......2004-11-19
As a person who is in a relationship but constantly feeling attracted to other girls, the chapter on 'Stupid Sex' was right on point.
The author identifies the struggle we face to balance biological urges with moral constraints. Her emphasis on doing what is 'right' and to base your behaviour on principles, struck a chord with me.
A lot of people may struggle to take this book seriously given it's straightforward, 'chatty' style, but I found the advice very helpful.
Amazon.com
The closer a secret is kept, the more powerful the impact once it is finally revealed. Such is the case with author and activist J.L. King's intriguing look at the lives and lifestyles of black men who sleep with other men but do not consider themselves to be gay. These men live "on the down low," the "DL" for short, and their sexual activities have gained significant notice as the rate of HIV/AIDS infection in black women has skyrocketed, with the vast majority of cases coming from heterosexual sex. King is a veteran of the DL himself and his book serves partly as a social and psychological survey of the other men he has surveyed and partly as highly candid memoir. King was well regarded in his community, popular at his church, successful in his career, and married to a woman who had no idea that his secret life existed. But when she caught him in a lie and with another man, the marriage collapsed and King's long and painful path to self-awareness began. King cites the negative image many socially conservative black men have of homosexuality as an obstacle to those men being honest with their partners and themselves about who they are. Among the more intriguing elements of On the Down Low are the peculiar approaches men on the DL have to the sexual act, seeking a strictly physical sexual relationship with their secret male partners while remaining in more traditional arrangements with women. Whether this discrepancy is a product of scrupulously guarded secrecy and shame or the natural preference of an understudied sexual identity is one of the numerous questions raised by this book. Though the infection statistics make the DL a huge public health issue, King is neither a sociologist nor a medical professional. And while a more clinical look at this issue would be welcome, King accomplished what he set out to do: provide light and insight into a world that so many have worked so hard to keep in the shadows. --John Moe
Book Description
A bold exposé of the controversial secret that has potentially dire consequences in many African American communities
Delivering the first frank and thorough investigation of life “on the down low” (the DL), J. L. King exposes a closeted culture of sex between black men who lead “straight” lives. King explores his own past as a DL man, and the path that led him to let go of the lies and bring forth a message that can promote emotional healing and open discussions about relationships, sex, sexuality, and health in the black community.
Providing a long-overdue wake-up call, J. L. King bravely puts the spotlight on a topic that has until now remained dangerously taboo. Drawn from hundreds of interviews, statistics, and the author’s firsthand knowledge of DL behavior, On the Down Low reveals the warning signs African American women need to know. King also discusses the potential health consequences of having unprotected sex, as African American women represent an alarming 64 percent of new HIV infections. Volatile yet vital, On the Down Low is sure to be one of the most talked-about books of the year.
“A survey by the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta found that nearly a quarter of black HIV-positive men who had sex with men consider themselves heterosexual.”
—Essence
Customer Reviews:
EYE OPENER .......2007-09-30
I don't condone this lifestyle, but it is still going to exist, rather I like it or not. I am a happily married woman, but God forbid if something happens to my husband and I have to go back out here on the dating scene again. Thanks to J.L Kings book I will not be so easy to fall for men without investigating them first and picking up on signs. Even if I never have to worry about dating again , I can defintely educate my kids (both girls) about this topic. Don't try to keep topics like this from your kids thinking it wont affect them, because better you tell them, than they find out in a negative way and end up with Aids!
all you closet fags should read this.......2007-09-18
my dad was bisexual so I was hip to this lifestyle from the time I was born so I can relate to this yeah this lifestyle has been around for centuries some of the greatest men in history and literature are homo or bi such as hercules, julius caesar, alexander the great, king herod, pharaoh, achilles, zeus, elton john, david bowie yes homosexuality runs deep lots of entetatiners are on the downlow we know mase is bi so is puffy, missy elliot, da brat, beyonce, camron, kanye west, and plenty others tyra banks and plenty more don't worry everything will come out in the light already thwere are signs that these entertainers are closet homo's.
The Urban Book Source.......2007-08-13
J.L. King hit the head on the nail with his freshman novel. Although down low brothers is nothing new to our community, they have never been talked about in as open a manner as this. On the Down Low lets you crawl into the life of a creeping man and witness the lies, deception and risk that are involved with such a lifestyle. In a deeply rooted homophobic community, many will shun this book. I applaud Mr. King's efforts. With HIV and AIDS running rampant in our community and DL brothers playing a role in an outrageous rate of infection for young black women, I think this book is more than worth the read. Although this text is heavily based on Mr. Kings own experience and some have complained about the quality of writing, I say give this book a chance. Don't focus on the writing, focus on the facts!
1. What did you like best about this book?
I liked that the author took a risk and exposed a topic that was rarely discussed in the open before this book.
2. What did you dislike about this book?
I didn't like that the main basis of this book surrounded the author's personal life. I feel that left air for the material to be biased and questionable.
3. How can the author improve this book?
I think Mr. King should try to tighten and reign in his writing style.
Unsure of Message He's Giving.......2007-07-17
I liked the book. I'm a guy and I was interested in knowing more about being on the DL. But I don't know exactly what the message J.L. King was trying to give. He didn't tell men NOT to be on the DL, he did warn females about them. I guess he just was the messenger. I don't think it will change any black male from having sex with another man if he wants to. It's not going to bring honesty. I can't imagine any male confessing prior to or before doing this. All women cannot insist that their men put on a condom before sex. So-things will probably remain the same. Bottom line???.... Know your partner and be prepared to accept the consequence if you come up HIV+. When I was young they called VD "the gift that keeps on giving", but AIDS is not a gift. We need better morals but people don't seem to want that either.
On the Down Low.......2007-05-14
This was a very, very good read. It is not scary it is Real.
Customer Reviews:
Super Reader.......2007-08-04
Bond is pretty depressed after the death of his wife. One of M's contemporaries suggests a crazy mission to snap him out of it, so M sends him to Japan.
Tiger Tanaka is head of Japanese Intelligence, and will give Bond what M wants if he will rid them of a local villain called Dr. Shatterhand.
Hiding in a deadly garden, Shatterhand is really Blofeld, living with his assistant.
The girl in this book is Kissy Suzuki, who ends up taking care of Bond after he is injured in a final duel with Blofeld, and loses his memory.
The First Final James Bond Novel.......2007-04-25
I refer to YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE as the "first final 007 novel" because this was the last novel Ian Fleming finished, polished and shipped off to his publisher before his death (I don't think he lived to see it in print). The second final novel was THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN and from what I understand, Fleming finished a draft but did not rewrite or polish it before he died of a heart attack.
As his health was fading, Fleming had traveled to Japan and it looks like a lot of that trip wound up in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. It was interesting to me that he chose to research a culture that had such a different outlook on death even as if he own body was fading. The exchanges between James Bond and Tiger Tanaka about the mindset of WWII kamikaze pilot and the honor of hari kari suicides become more interesting when you realize where Fleming was in his life--and where he knew he was soon going.
Fleming had become disenchanted with Bond, having already tried to kill him off at the end of FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE and vowing with each new book to finally destroy his world-famous spy. I only wish that Fleming had spent more time in Bond's head since it read as if all of his inner turmoil was left to M and others to discuss--instead of letting the novel show.
Sent on an "impossible mission" to Japan, 007 meets Dikko Henderson, a big, loud Austrailian, and Tiger Tanaka, the enigmatic head of the Japanese Secret Service. But it's when Tanaka asks Bond as a favor to kill the mysterious "Dr. Shatterhand" in his Castle of Death that the novel gets back some of Fleming's wild flair of dark fun and surrealism. An elusive European has created and hid himself inside a deadly garden of natural poisons and venoms. Deadly snakes and pirhanas infest a forest of poisonous trees and plants--and the Japanese can't get enough of throwing themselves into it to kill themselves! Even Dr. Shatterhand himself is a little perplexed that he has so many visitors regularly killing themselves on his property. Now that's vintage Fleming!
But the end comes somewhat swiftly and neatly. Since I've been rereading all of the James Bond novels in order, I can see where Fleming could relate to 007 as he kept churning out mission after mission: Fleming could use the formula to get Bond out of a jam...but Fleming couldn't get himself out of the formula.
His heart weakening and his life fading, Fleming's writing did shift from the heroic close-calls with doom in the earlier novels to looking Death right in the face in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE. You could see the darkness closing in from chapter to chapter and, while James Bond may make another thrilling escape, Ian Fleming could not.
A Must read for fans of the Film "On Her Majesty's Secret Service".......2006-05-01
If you are fan of the bond film "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" this is a James Bond book you must read!!!
The bond film series failed to create proper continuity from OHMSS to Diamonds are Forever. This left fans without any concept or feel of the how Bond might react after the tragedy that occured in OHMSS.
Thankfully the novel version of picks up up perfectly from that moment and provides Bond fans with a truly satisfactory conclusion to Bonds fight against SPECTRE.
IAN FLEMINGs Japan and the Devil.......2004-06-18
This is Ian Fleming's most mysterious and enigmatic James Bond novel. This is a direct follow up to "On Her Majesty's Secret Service." It starts out as a direct secret service story even though Bond is reassigned to the diplomatic section. As it progresses it becomes almost surrealistic as James Bond tracks down his arch nemesis on the island of Kyushu. This is a very well written and researched novel. The Japanese idioms and depictions of locale are exquisite. When the novel moves to Kuro Island and is on the threshold of Dr. Shaterhand's castle lair, Fleming approaches mythical horizons. I found this absorbing, haunting and prophetic novel very difficult to put down once I started reading it. You get addicted early on to such charismatic characters as Tiger Tanaka and the all too brief Dikko Henderson but it is the narrative of this epic tale that beckons the reader. The new retro-paperback cover is alluring.
Not quite the film legend.......2004-06-05
Bondo-san? Sounds like a Japanese brand adhesive.
I've seen several of the 007 films with a wide range of actors - Connery, Moore, and Brosnan. However, this is the first Bond book by Ian Fleming that I've ever read. I'm left marveling at the liberties taken by Hollywood with the hero. Is this truly Bond - JAMES Bond - the Suave Super Stud Super Spy of the Big Screen?
In YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, the redoubtable Commander is about to be fired by "M" for a recently unacceptable job performance brought on by the murder of the former's wife. (There was a Mrs. 007?!) But "M" is persuaded by the house shrink to send his agent on one more mission - one that will be touted as so impossible that James will be challenged enough to snap out of his funk. So, off Bond goes to Japan to persuade the head of that nation's Secret Service to share information from a key Soviet source - information only otherwise being shared with the CIA. Bond befriends the Japanese spymaster, "Tiger" Tanaka, who consents to the new arrangement if 007 will carry out a special and very dangerous assignment.
Relative to the Bond movies, I liked the in-print character much better; he's less of a comic book hero and more real. And there's not an improbable high-tech gadget in sight. However, that being said, Fleming's original 007 is much less developed and complex than, say, the Quiller persona created by Adam Hall (the nom de plume of Elleston Trevor) during the 60s and 70s. Quiller was a lonely, scarred, and bloody-minded agent who, when sent off on a perilous mission, managed make it alive out of the dodgy spots - whether it was being chased by attack dogs across the no-man's land of the East German border or bundled unceremoniously into the Lubyanka basement - purely on luck, innate ability, and pure survival sense. Quiller didn't even carry a gun. And Quiller had the hint of a secret life, perhaps one in the past; his will on file with the Secret Service specified that roses should be sent to "Moira" in the event of his death. And the reader never found out who Moira was during the entire Quiller series of nineteen books. Bond, on the other hand, just doesn't run that deep. Indeed, Quiller would think 007 a poofter dilettante.
YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, as an example of Fleming's source material for the Bond cinematic legend, is perhaps only of interest if you want to see the tenor of the original character before the Tinseltown scriptwriters got hold of him. Take my advice and discover Quiller if you haven't already.
Average customer rating:
- Michael Kimmel is a pro-feminist , therefore has feminist agenda, don't trust his books
- "Look Inside"
- Kimmel and Messner: a critique of gender
- Which Men's Lives are they talking about?
- hmm
|
Men's Lives, Sixth Edition
Michael S. Kimmel , and
Michael A. Messner
Manufacturer: Allyn & Bacon
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ASIN: 0205379028 |
Book Description
This best-selling reader on men and masculinity, edited by two of the most prominent researchers on men, contains the most current articles on masculinity available.
Organized around themes that define masculinity, this reader takes the position that men (as well as women) are "gendered" and that this gendering process is a central experience for men. The authors explore how working class men, men of color, gay men, older men, and younger men construct different versions of masculinity. One reviewer says, "This reader does a remarkable job of showing the interconnectedness of race, class, and gender ... It also makes clear that any discussion of `men's lives' of necessity involves an understanding of the social roles of both men and women, and of gender inequality."
For anyone interested in gender studies, sociology, or men's studies.
Customer Reviews:
Michael Kimmel is a pro-feminist , therefore has feminist agenda, don't trust his books.......2007-05-06
I have stumbled upon one of Michael Kimmel's articles regarding men's behaviors. I emailed him and asked some hard questions regarding his feministic attitudes. He could not answer any of my questions. For example, I asked him why he is so focusd on "correcting" men's behaviors when society and feminists and many women today view men as doofus, murderers, rapists, etc, as evidence by movies, commericals, TVs... Basically men are not respected while at the same time, women only programs are popping up all the time! Furthermore, I commented that in order to finetune men's "bad behaviors", one must also addresses women's attitudes toward men! He failed to answer and only ask me to be openminded and attend one of the women's courses and called me angry!
"Look Inside".......2007-01-30
It would be nice if when you are offered to "look inside" the book, the copy you are looking through is the edition that you are buying instead of one ten years older. This "look inside" option is not helpful if it is an old edition.
Kimmel and Messner: a critique of gender.......2006-12-21
While some reviewers seem to state that Kimmel and Messner are painting men in a particularly bad light, these reviews seem to miss the key points that the authors are trying to make: the problem is masculinity and the way men perform masculinity, not males themselves. Kimmel and Messner critique gender and all the stereotypes surrounding it to present a manual for understanding masculinity as a social construction. Some articles in this reader are less helpful than others but overall it is a great introduction to masculinity studies and I highly recommend it. The book presents a variety of men's voices while sadly leaving out men with disabilities and trans men. The book cities arenas of oppression and explains how men AND women contribute to a culture where oppressive masculinity is allowed to reign.
Which Men's Lives are they talking about?.......2006-02-21
Don't let the fact that this book is edited by two men fool you. This book treats white, heterosexual men as sadistic oppressors and is driven by a women's studies/feminist and sometimes Marxist agenda.
You can get the complete summary of the book from this quote contained in it: "Heterosexual men maintain their status by the oppression of gay men; middle-aged men can maintain their dominance over older and younger men; upper-class men can exploit working-class men,; and white men can enjoy priviledges at the expense of men of color."
(I am not sure here whether a middle aged gay man dominates a young heterosexual, but I digress...)
If you want to find a positive image of (non-gay) men it is not here.
Articles include (with a quote from each article):
Men on Rape , "Rape may be America's fastest growing violent crime; no one can be certain because it is not clear whether more rapes are being committed or reported." (uh, so therefore let's just assume it is true as a basis for the article...)
Getting Off on Feminism, "There has to be a difference between being straight and being a breeder. And breeding is just one of the many assumptions that our culture applies to male heterosexuality." (Written by a feminist male who is really much too worried about what all his feminist pals think of him)
Life Styles of Gay Husbands and Fathers, no quote. A balanced article about the experiences of males who figure out they're gay after being married and having children. This book has a very high gay to straight ratio in articles however that overstates the prevalence of homosexuality among men.
Fraternities and the College Rape Culture, "A rape culture is strengthened by rules that permit alcohol only at fraternity parties. Under this system, men control the parties and dominate the men as well as the women that attend." (This actually was an evenly balanced article that focused on how to structure organizations and events to reduce the potentiality of rape)
The Fathers' Rights Movement: Contradictions in Rhetoric and Practice, "Indeed, fathers want to play a role in their children's lives, but for most, that role is merely a continuation of their predivorce role of the traditional father who exercises his power and control." (the "but for most" helps the authors dismiss my anecdotal evidence of being a single parent. Note we can say "single mother" easily and understandably but "single father" requires explanation so we have to resort to "single parent".)
The grammatical errors in the quotes are from the book and are not typos.
Some articles use made up statistics, gross generalities, and outright distortions to make their point. Many of the articles are balanced in and of themselves but, taken as a whole collection in this book, present a distorted view of "Men's Lives."
hmm.......2004-03-30
Kimmel and Messner are acomplished researchers, yet I find no reason for the "cute" little additions such as average male size charts and sarcastic quizes revolving around the "gay or straight" issues. We are saturated with sexuality in our day and age, we don't need it from our scholars as well.
Book Description
The problems of boys in schools, especially in reading and writing, have been the focus of statistical data, but rarely does research point out how literacy educators can combat those problems. That situation has changed. Michael Smith and Jeff Wilhelm, two of the most respected names in English education and in the teaching of reading, worked with a very diverse group of young men to understand how they use literacy and what conditions promote it. In this book they share what they have learned.
Through a variety of creative research methods and an extended series of interviews with 49 young men in middle and high school who differ in class, race, academic achievement, kind of school, and geography, the authors identified the factors that motivated these young men to become accomplished in the activities they most enjoyedfactors that marked the boys' literate activities outside of school, but were largely absent from their literate lives in school. Their study questions the way reading and literature are typically taught and suggests powerful alternatives to traditional instruction.
Building their findings on their understanding of the powerful and engaging experiences boys had outside of school, Smith and Wilhelm discuss why boys embrace or reject certain ways of being literate, how boys read and engage with different kinds of texts, and what qualities of texts appeal to boys. Throughout, the authors highlight the importance of choice, the boys' need to be shown how to read, the cost of the traditional teaching of difficult canonical texts, and the crucial place of meaningful social activity.
The authors' data-driven findings are provocative, explaining why boys reject much of school literacy and how progressive curricula and instruction might help boys engage with literacy and all learning in more productive ways. Providing both challenges and practical advice for overcoming those challenges, Smith and Wilhelm have produced a book that will appeal to teachers, teacher educators, and parents alike.
Customer Reviews:
An Essential Read for All High School Teachers .......2005-11-13
I read this book as a part of a Graduate level course in education I am taking at Rutgers University; the very University its author Michael Smith (who co-wrote with Jeffrey Wilhelm) once taught at. I found this book indispensible in its informative snapshots of high school boys from different backgrounds. It is clear that the language arts do not suffer from irrelevance for boys but perhaps from being taught in such a way that does not connect the texts with the boys' existing literary knowledge. After reading this book, you will learn that there are many ways to engage boys in the teaching of the language arts. I highly recommend this book. It is one of the top five best educational books I have read so far. Exceptional!
We're failing our boys by ignoring their interests.......2003-09-25
I heard about this book on Amazon, and quickly picked it up. As a teacher of middle school English learners who will soon be transitioning to mainstream classes, I have had many battles with students, especially boys, who hate to read. At the beginning of the year, I have my students complete this statement on a piece of paper: "When I read, I feel....". From the boys, I've gotten such responses as "bored", "tired", "sleepy", and, strangely enough, "hungry". The reality is, our male students are falling through the cracks because they are not engaged with the texts. If students aren't engaged by "Death of a Salesman" or "The Scarlet Letter", then why do we still force them to read these books? One solution to solving the problem of low literacy skills among boys would be to allow more book choices. Literature circles are great, because they give students a choice. If one circle is reading "Lord of the Flies" and doesn't want to read it, then he could get in the group that's reading the book he wants to read. "Reading Don't Fix No Chevys" is an insightful, well-researched book that I have been recommending to all my fellow Language Arts and ESL/ELD teachers. Bravo!
Brilliant and Inspiring for Any Teacher of Language Arts.......2002-10-13
This book significantly changed the way I, as a teacher of Language Arts, think about what we do in secondary classrooms every day. Without ever being strident or laying blame, the authors methodically, movingly demonstrate that in so many ways, most middle schools and high schools are still far off the mark in how they teach English. And yet, the answer is right there--all we have to do is listen to the kids.
Sure, it's easy for us to listen to the good readers, the ones who zipped through "Lord of the Rings" in 5th grade, who devour books. But when do we really listen and respond to the needs of those kids--particularly, as the authors point out, boys--who never read, who say they hate to read?
The authors studied, and carried on extensive dialogues, with 49 boys in grades 7-12. What they found will shock and dismay some readers. To others, it will come as no surprise. Still others may see it as a call to action: Increasingly, many children--and boys in particular--fail to make any significant connection with what goes on in the language arts classroom. Even passionate teachers may be of little help, so long as they insist on imposing the conventional canon of "great literature" on all students. What's more, students who resist traditional reading are by no means necessarily illiterate. Many are highly competent readers of computer manuals, sports magazines, graphic novels and internet communications--to name just a few. Many are passionate about these alternative literary activities. But they find no reinforcement for them in school; often, it is quite the opposite.
The authors argue that we must reach students first through the literate activities they already know and value, and tap into these interests, these sometimes unconventional literacies, as ways to engage them in meaningful, real activities. Then, if all goes well, they will begin to seek out wonder and meaning in ways that go deeper than the surface, and the door may open, for some, on that world of symbolic, philosophical, emotional meaning that is so valued by teachers and other lifelong readers.
Book Description
More for Women Only!
What’s going on in a man’s mind? You don’t have to scratch your head any longer. After Shaunti Feldhahn’s For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men broached the subject, women everywhere responded with an overwhelming desire to dig deeper. Now this all-new discussion guide will help you and your friends explore the complex terrain beneath a man’s confident exterior. Personal stories, fascinating case studies, and pointed questions will launch the conversations you need to open your eyes to what the man in your lifeâa boyfriend, brother, husband, or sonâis really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to âfreak outâ the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. For women who really do want to understand, this group or one-on-one discussion guide is a must for helping you apply all those âah haâ revelations to your relationships with the men in your life!
More for Women Only
Readers of the bestselling For Women Only experienced many eye-opening, âI didn’t know that!â moments as they discovered the fascinating truth about the inner lives of men. But after turning the last page, many have wondered, âSoâ¦what do I do with this information?â
This newly expanded study guide will help you answer that question. Discussion questions, personal stories, and situational case studies will equip you to apply truths from the book to the relationships in your life. Additional content includes: Feedback from For Women Only readers Space to pen your thoughts after each chapter Quotes to remember Tips for starting your own discussion group
Ideal for book clubs, small groups, or one-on-one dialogue with the man in your life, this is an invaluable resource and companion to the acclaimed book.
Story Behind the Book
About five minutes after For Women Only hit the shelves, women started talking about it in small groups, book clubs, and coffee housesâand with their men. And about five days after that, Shaunti started getting e-mails saying, âWe could really use something to help us work through these subjects.â For Women Only has opened the eyes of women to things they never understood about men before. Now, the For Women Only Discussion Guide will help them talk through and apply those truths to their lives.
Customer Reviews:
Reality Check!.......2007-06-25
This is an awesome book which delves into the insights of what men truly feel and think about regarding a number of varied aspects of life. Without losing it's human touch this book reveals some very interesting survey results that I would never have guessed before. Including the importance of your man having and being shown respect by you as his partner. Coming from a women's perspective, I always considered love one of the most important elements in a relationship. I discovered this is not necessarily true for men. Survey says...Respect is what tops their list. Neither of these elements are better or worse than the other, just different as they reflect how men and women are different.
Another awesome book on relating is called "How to Create a Magical Relationship" written by Ariel and Shya Kane. The Kanes present new possibilities in how to relate to your partner that can create and sustain magical relationships. Disharmony is replaced by ease, fun and satisfaction. Both of these books are insightful and potent in presenting new ways of having the best relationship with your partner and others in your life.
Every Woman should read this!.......2007-06-22
Every woman should read this book! The book will help you understand men! It was so insightful to what's going on in men's brains. Not only did it help me with in my relationship with my husband but with understanding my father, brothers, coworkers, etc. The book is a fun and quick read.
The book is so well written, its easy to go back and reference key points. I will read this book once a year to keep the information fresh in my mind. The book will help you verbalize your needs to your mate. Buy both and ask your partner to read the companion, my husband thanked me after he read it!
Better then the book but don't have to be religious!.......2006-11-15
This is best used in a group setting. Individually it may recommend a few books to you but thats it. And It should encourage guys into some of the talks in a structured way if they are willing to do so accepting the position(s) among more ladies (Not all of whom they maybe all that close too.) However, The too books I think positivly could help your man(men) see the positives of speaking about these things/topics and encourage the discussion and learning eventually. Which I haven't yet found a book that does that. And that IS INVALUABLE. EVEN THOUGH THEIR ARE MORE SECRETS I'M SURE THAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM THAT THIS BOOK AND WORKBOOK DON'T HINT MUCH AT ALL AT. WHICH IS SAD. MEN ARE OFTEN HARDER TO READ SO SOMETHING LIKE THIS BOOK IS MOSTLY NEEDED BADLY WITH THEIR HELP OFF COURSE.!
really a companion!.......2006-11-09
Too often "discussion guides" are a trimmed version of the original. Not so here. It helps by adding extra tidbits to the info already presented; if used in a group setting it helps the leader ask questions or present viewpoints that have not already been read by the rest of the group. There are even questions you can ask your partner to promote understanding (and how to get out of a rut) for each lesson. I'm so glad I ordered both books!
WOW!!!.......2006-04-28
I have been married for over 14 years and I just discovered this book. It has been life changing! I really understand my husband so much better now. He has opened up to me more because of this book. I would highly recommend this book to couples and even to singles. It will definitely improve how you relate to men. I just wish I had read a book like this early on in my marriage....I think I would have avoided a lot of heartache for both my husband and I.
Product Description
African-American males are being imprisoned at an alarming and unprecedented rate. Out of the 10.4 million Black adult males in the U.S. population, nearly 1.5 million are in prisons and jails with another 3.5 million more on probation or parole or who have previously been on probation or parole. Black males make up nearly 75% of the total prison population, and due to either present or past incarceration is the most socially disenfranchised group of American citizens in the country today. This book details the author's personal story of a negligent upbringing in an impoverished community, his subsequent engagement in criminal activity (drug dealing), his incarceration, and his release from prison and experiencing of the crippling social disenfranchisement that comes with being an ex-felon. The author then relates his personal experiences and realizations to the seminal problems within the African-American community, federal government, and criminal justice system that cause his own experiences to be the same experiences of millions of other young Black men.
Customer Reviews:
(RAW Rating: 4.5) - What is happening to black men?.......2007-08-04
Demico Boothe has explored the reasons so many black men are indeed in prison in, WHY ARE SO MANY BLACK MEN IN PRISON? He begins with his own story of a shaky upbringing and his subsequent dabbling in drug dealing. He was caught with a few grams of crack cocaine but because it was the dreaded crack, he was given 10 years in prison. When he left prison after serving his time, he was actually railroaded back into prison by a crooked justice system. He delves deeply into our justice system and the motives behind all the new prisons that are being built. He gives succinct and reasonable views of exactly what is happening now in the United States and how the past has played a role in the present. He uses persuasive statistics regarding the number of black men in prison as compared to the number of white men who are incarcerated.
Demico Boothe has done an excellent job of researching his subject and it is a plus, if unfortunate for him, that he has actually experienced first hand what he's talking about. I knew I was hearing the real story rather than just statistics from an intellectual who had no real idea of what the prison system is really like. I would have liked for Boothe to search a little deeper into the Haiti, Aristide and USA question, maybe even reading Randall Robinson's take on the situation, and then he might see it a bit differently. Otherwise, it is a good book and one every one in America should read. We indeed, have a crisis going on.
Reviewed by Alice Holman
of The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers
Why Are So Many Black Men In Prison? A Comprehensive Account Of How And Why The Prison Industry Has Become A Predatory Entity In.......2007-06-09
The book was very interesting. I learned soooo much about the government and the prison industry. I did some searching independantly to check on the things reported in the book and they are very true. Great Read!! Buy the book.
A Must Read.......2007-05-25
Mr. Demico's book is a must-read for anyone concerned about young African American men. Although I did not agree with every conclusion he reached, Demico's main premises are convincing. As a white woman who teaches mainly students of color, I am always impressed, and often in awe, of those young men who reach college with so much going against them. Demico's books lays bare not only the horrible inequalities of our society, but also the racist attitudes of our political system - - Democrats, Republicans, and most everyone in between.
Why are so many Black Men in Prison?.......2007-05-13
I is a well put together book. He really goes into a lot of detail of how our society is really set up.
Why are so many blacks in prison?.......2007-05-12
I found this book very interesting. As a white devil myself, I had no idea that I was responsible for forcing blacks into committing crimes and then subsequently clogging up the whole "Prison Industrial Complex"(tm). I will try to stop causing this, as I am sure it is creating a LOT of trouble for everyone! Sorry!
It is probably also my fault that young black men dressed in XXXXL clothes overtly threaten me and my family members routinely. Can anyone tell me what I should do to make this not happen?
I imagine it's also my fault that black on white violent crime is WAY higher than white on black violent crime, even though blacks constitute about 12.5% of the population, and whites are about 70%. But since it is impossible for a black to commit a hate crime according to our criminal justice system (since blacks are not under any circumstances racist), statistically, there are more white on black hate crimes. Boothe notes a statistic regarding hate crimes, but he skips the one about interracial violence in general.
In sum, Boothe notes that just about everything blacks do is actually MY fault, because my skin is white. Boothe, I've got a word for you.
Introspection.
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