Between God and Man

Customer Reviews:

The best introduction to Heschel.......2007-06-21

Fritz Rothschild, the editor of this anthology of Heschel's varied writings, was a colleague and friend of Heschel's at the Jewish Theological Seminary. Rothschild became the foremost interpreter of Heschel's thought by 1959 when he first published "Between God and Man," containing selections from Heschel's varied writings preceded by the editor's lucid and systematic introduction to Heschel's life and thought. "Between God and Man" remains the best introduction to Heschel, a foundation for Heschel studies, a popular classroom text, and a precious resource for the laity as well as scholars and teachers of 20th-century religious thought.

An excellent introduction into Jewish religious thinking!.......2006-02-25

One must hang on one's lips when a wise Jew is talking about God. It is as if Einstein is speaking abou physics, Mozart composing music, van Gogh painting. Read carefully and with open heart!

Reality & Checks.......2006-02-17

Many, many years have passed since I was assigned to read this book in college. It makes me laugh when I reflect on that which we read in class to develop "critical thinking" skills and how much more it all resonates once we experience life and gain smarts that don't come from classrooms and the regurgitation of facts.

I pulled this book out recently. I had marked up many passages, but I'll try to stay focused in this "review", which is really a commentary. In particular, I believe that the passage below has particular relevance in light of the passing of Coretta Scott King and the whole of the Martin Luther King legacy. So, here it is:

"Human existence cannot derive its ultimate meaning from society, because society itself is in need of meaning. It is as legitimate to ask: Is mankind needed? - as it is to ask: Am I needed? Humanity begins in the individual man, just as history takes its rise from a singular event. It is always one man at a time whom we keep in mind when we pledge: 'with malice toward none, with charity for all,' or when trying to fulfill: 'Love they neighbor as thyself.'

The term 'mankind,' which in biology denotes the human species, has an entirely different meaning in the realm of ethics and religion. Here mankind is not conceived as a species, as an abstract concept, stripped from its concrete reality, but as an abundance of specific individuals; as a community of persons rather than as a herd of a multitude of nondescripts. While it is true that the good of all counts more than the good of one, it is the concrete individual who lends meaning to the human race. We do not think that a human being is valuable because he is a member of the race; it is rather the opposite: the human race is valuable because it is composed of human beings."

I find Heschel's explorations compelling because they not only explore the relationship between God and man. Rather, he responds to two questions that challenge: First, what are the fundamental tenets of Judaism? - a much heftier question than might appear at first blush, and second, why should people choose to adhere to the obligation of following laws that appear to restrain actions?

Heschel believes that God is concerned about the world; he holds that God has revealed His moral nature by his intimate involvement with mankind throughout history; his God is principally concerned with fostering unity on earth. For Heschel, God "holds our fitful lives together . . . God means: Togetherness of all beings in holy otherness." And Heschel's perspective on the purpose(s) of the Torah -- to encourage people to sense God's presence in life and to understand the Torah as not a set of provisions that restrict, but, rather an answer to life's difficulties for "the more we do for His sake the more we receive for our sake."

What is particularly intriguing to me is that whether one believes in God or not, Heschel's wisdom prevails. Why? Because there is an opportunity to perform Mitzvot - to do "good." Mitzvot enable us to attain a sense of the holy, to fulfill, if you will, our souls, ourselves. Therefore, mitzvot are for our benefit, inner fulfillment so to speak; the laws are not ever a "yoke."

If through doing "good" by way of our actions, we are afforded the possibility to transcend ourselves; to sense the ineffable as we can by experiencing and appreciating great music. Furthermore, Heschel doesn't behoove us to fulfill "laws" perfectly; only to the best of our ability. In "doing the finite we may perceive the infinite . . (man gains) a perception of life eternal in everyday deeds." It's Kavanah, an awareness not of duty, but of inner spirituality. While the laws (or Halachah) direct, the essence is found in the human. "Without faith, inwardness and the power of appreciation of the law is meaningless." Both faith and action will better the world. Through deeds, we are able to confront the human and the holy. I buy this. It's a reminder that we need to preserve our sense of wonder and respect for that which we don't know or don't yet know.

The beauty of the Torah is that it is always relevant: it preserves life. Religious or spiritual observances are cherished for they are opportunities that allow us to find ourselves. Heschel explains that an internal peace is the result of study, of understanding, of acting and of giving.

Which leads me to my final thought: Heschel is not just talking of Judaism. His thinking applies everywhere we turn. The ethnicity or race - actually, ethnicities and races - all matter. They all count. All we are asked to do is listen, watch, and act. Whom shall we listen to? Whom shall we watch? How should we act? I ask myself these questions; I hope that my daughters will, too.

Mysticism and Monotheism.......2004-08-15

Heschel's interpretation of Judaism is that of MYSTICISM AND MONOTHEISM, the ineffable and unexplainable, the allusiveness that can only point us to the inner certainty of God.

Heschel is a substantial writer and skilled in both analogy and description. And ultimately, in defining Jewish wisdom in words, is that which cannot be as defined in words as calculable and systematic, but rather as a direction to be pointed. And this is what you will find in most non-fundamental wisdom. It is here that expressions defining God as indefinable are so well conveyed. The SUBLIME, the MYSTERY, wonder, awe, reverence, the idea of the holy and that of revelation are the spontaneous creative events verses that of causal processes.

Here `modern man fell into the trap of believing that everything can be explained, that reality is a simple affair which has only to be organized in order to be mastered. All enigmas can be solved, and all wonder is nothing but the effect of novelty upon ignorance.' P. 40 Such dogmatic fallacies can be found in both science and religion. `The deeper we search the nearer we arrive at knowing that we do not know. The mystery of divinity, `it is a dimension off all existence and may be experienced everywhere and at all times. This sense of the ineffable perceives is something objective, which cannot be conceived by the mind nor captured by imagination or feeling, something real, which by its very essence, is beyond the reach of thought and feeling. What we are primarily aware of is not our self, our inner mood, but a transubjective situation, in regard to which our ability fails. Subjective is the manner, not the matter of our perception. What we perceive is objective in the sense of being independent of and corresponding to our perception. Our radical amazement reasons to the mystery, but does not produce it. You and I have not invented the grandeur of the sky nor endowed man with the mystery of birth and death. We do not create the ineffable, we encounter it. P. 47

Now what underlies this ineffable and non-explanatory presence or allusive presence of divinity beyond discursive analysis, is what Judaism consists of, monotheism, this being an absolute purpose and a CERTAINTY, the certainty of God that finds all other expression.

`God is a mystery but the mystery is not God. He is a revealer of mystery. The certainty that there is meaning beyond the mystery is the reason fore ultimate rejoicing. P. 49 The certainty of the realness of God does not come about as a corollary of logical premises, as a leap from the realm of logic to the realm of ontology, from an assumption to a fact. It is on the contrary, a transition form an immediate apprehension to a thought form a preconceptual awareness to a definite assurance, from being overwhelmed by the presence of God to an awareness of His existence. What we attempt to do in the act of reflection is to raise that preconceptual awareness to the level of understanding. P. 67 `To meet Him is to come upon an inner certainty.' P. 80

Regarding Jewish LAWS, Heschel writes that such laws are not meant as a yoke, nor repressive to desires, nor a straight jacket of rituals, but out of love, from an internal center, the heart, where the soul, the internal motivation of love, must be in harmony with the law

Laws are emphasized not as mechanical duties but rather as artistic acts, as in music one must be what he plays. The goal is to find access to the sacred deed. To do a mitzvah is one thing; to partake of its inspiration another. P. 166

The law is a cry for creativity, not mechanical processes, nor technicalities. The law is only valid with the motivation of the heart behind it. It is both the action and the inspiration behind the action. The laws and traditions are self-defeating without faith and heart motivation. Judaism is more than law, it is purity of the heart, it is faith and love of God. God is called to re-create the world in his likeness. The law must never be idolized. Rules are only generalizations. Judaism is not legalism. Just as proclaimed truths - kerygma, are worthless without the deeper allusive essence - dogma, so is Halakhah - the definite rational instructions worthless without the Agadah - the allusive, non-discursive and immeasurable. The law must have both or its way is perverted.

`It supplies the weapons, it points the way; the fighting is left to the soul of man.' 'Obedience to the letter of the law regulates our daily living, but such obedience must not stultify the spontaneity of our inner life. P. 176

`The true goal for man is to be what he does.' P. 164. `Sacred deeds are designed to make living compatible with our sense of the ineffable. The mitzvot are forms of expressing in deeds the appreciation of the ineffable. P. 182 The soul grows by noble deeds. The soul is illumined by sacred acts. P. 177

'To reduce Judaism to halakhah - defined actions - is to dim its light, to pervert its essence and to kill its spirit. . . . to reduce it to agadah - inward purity only - is to blot out its light, to dissolve its essence and to destroy its reality. Indeed, the surest way to forfeit agadah is to abolish halakhah. They can only survive in symbiosis. The life of the spirit too needs concrete actions for its actualization.' P. 177

Heschel outlines the tension between regularity and spontaneity, how both must be polarized.

`The way to kavvanah is through the deed; the way of faith is a way of living. Halakhah and agadah are correlated; halakhah is the string, agadah is the bow. When the string is tight and the bow will evoke the melody.' `Deeds not only follow intention; they also engender kavvanah.' P. 180

And the PSYCHOLOGY of Judaism:

`We must not indulge in self-scrutinization; we must not concentrate upon the problem of egocentricity. The way to purify the self is to avoid dwelling upon the self and to concentrate upon the task. Any religious or ethical teaching that places the main emphasis upon the virtues of inwardness such as faith and the purity of motivation must come to grief. If faith were the only standard, the effort of man would be doomed to failure. Indeed, the awareness of the weakness of the heart, the unreliability of human inwardness may perhaps have been one of the reasons that compelled Judaism to take recourse to actions instead of relying upon inward devotion.' P. 189 There is power in the deed purifies desires. It is the act, life itself that educates the will. The good motive comes into being while doing the good. P. 190

This review is far from detailed, as their is much more not mentioned, you'll have to read the book for that. However I think this review does reveals somewhat of the religious dimension and insight of the ineffable Heschel lays out, the ideas beyond conceptualization with monotheism at its center. I recommend this book for anyone, the religious - of all persuasions, the non-religious, and/or anyone who wishes to attempt to perceive the idea of the sacred within the de-mystified and rational world we live in. Heschel is worth all the time invested in his writings.

Judaism as a Philosophy.......2003-12-14

Heschel has one of those rare gifts of being able to take a subject, break it down, and then present it in a manner that most can understand. In this book, Heschel takes a philosophic look at Judaism and why it much more than a religion, but a way of life.

Even a Gentile or non-religious reader can come away from this reading with a kinder appreciation for the religion and inherent philosophy of Judaism. Heschel is able to dispel much of the ignorance and hate concerning this great religion.

The structure of this book is sound and concise starting with the general notion of why in his mind there simply has to be a creator. Then he moves into the most fundamental of human questions such as good and evil and needs and desires.

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Brand new (old) approach to sex!

Peace Between the Sheets

Interesting, but some odd leaps in logic....

makes great sense to me :)

A Missing Component of Sexuality Studies

Peace Between the Sheets: Healing with Sexual Relationships
Marnia Robinson
Manufacturer: Frog, Ltd.
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Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1583940871
Release Date: 2003-11-17

Book Description

Peace Between the Sheets offers a simple but revolutionary analysis: modern relationships often founder because of dysfunctional sexual habits. But when couples shift away from "heat-centered" toward "heart-centered" sexual interactions, they gain a mutual satisfaction that transcends physical gratification. Robinson advocates teaching the body a different response to sexual arousal that is driven by love over biology. The benefits include reducing stress, rejuvenating the body, helping overcome addictions, and developing a positive outlook. Over two parts, "Why" and "How," the book devotes twelve chapters to topics like "Why do We Fall Out of Love?," "Outwitting Biology," "Want to Try It?," and "The Ecstatic Exchanges." Peace Between the Sheets tackles a delicate issue with sound reasoning, solid research, and a healthy dose of humor.

Customer Reviews:

Brand new (old) approach to sex!.......2007-06-11

Finally someone has mananged to explain in detail the real reason of "why relationships fail?"

And what could that be? The thing we love the most in sex...the spasm. The cure?....Sex without spasm.

Ancients have long taught this practice of Sacred Sex. But modern humanity has had a unconscious understanding of the sexual energy and how it should be used, we only know 2 things when it comes to sex: creating more bodies and egotistical genital & self gratification.

Marnia Robinson shows the way to have sex consciously without ego, without perversity.

The book is in 2 parts.

-The First deals with explaining Sacred Sex from a modern scientific point of view along with taking into account ancient spiritual sources on sex.

-The Second deals with a series of exchange excercises where a couple can learn to connect with each other taking slow steps before culminating with the sexual act.

The author spent 12 years researching the topic and shares many stories of her trials and errors, and profound discoveries. Her knowledge of sexual matters is as vast as a sexologist but with the added bonus of being a practicioner. (She is a real sexologist compared to the materialistic sexologists who are constricted to biology).

Peace Bewteen the Sheets could save your relationship or someone's you know. This book is amazing!

Peace Between the Sheets.......2007-05-14

Now I understand --- after so many years of making the same mistakes!

Interesting, but some odd leaps in logic...........2007-04-29

I rated this book a 4 because I think it has many good features and a message that a lot of people might need to hear. In reality, I think it merits a 3.5 because although the author has a good background, I found she made some leaps in logic that may not apply to everyone.

The book starts off by explaining that old evolutionary hardwired responses often undermine love relationships. So far, she is on solid ground. Most evolutionary biologists agree that we often unconsciously act on hidden mating agendas and various statistic support that many times these behaviors are not in our best interests. David Buss has written a lot about this and you can see what he has to say in the excellent book, The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.

The author continues on to explain how certain neurochemicals associated with orgasm and the pleasure/reward part of the limbic system affect our perception of our partner, bonding and mating behavior. A lot of what the author says is true and you can get more detail on this in the book, The Female Brain or other books.

The primary premise seems to get off track, however, when the author makes the assertion that having orgasms during sex leads to dysfunctional behavior. While I think it may be true that this could be the case, I don't buy that it is ALWAYS the case or true universally.

I think the problem here is that the author makes a biological argument and then bring in some psychology to back up her argument. For example, she mentions that many people feel they will be engulfed or annhilated after orgasm and this leads to fear which causes separation. While this may be true, it is most likely to be true when there have been developmental failures along the way, the self is weak, etc. She doesn't include this part of the picture and seems to overgeneralize. I could imagine that for many people the challenge of one of these two reactions with the right support from the Self structure would lead to healthy risk and vulnerability, which would in reality increase intimacy and closeness. This argument isn't given any weight at all. I will return to this point later.

In the next part of the book, there is guidance for fostering deeper intimacy by depriving oneself of orgasm as a routine matter of course. While I agree this practice can be useful to appreciate and nurture other aspects of the relationship such as affection, intimate conversation, etc., I don't agree that this is necessary or even desirable for many people.

I am a 45 year old male and have graduate degrees in biochemistry and psychology. As an undergraduate I majored in Biological Research and I have been studying comparative religion for over 20 years. My personal experience is that regular sexual intercourse with orgasm brings me closer to my partner, makes me want to be with my partner even more and is quite bonding. In general, I don't experience the fear of merging that the author talks about or being annhilated. From my experience in personal growth coaching and from the literature on love, I think it is safe to say this is the case for many other people. This seems to be another flaw in logic. However, I do advocate if those feelings come up in a strong way, one ought to consider the level of trust vs. the level of commitment. Some of what Ms. Robinson labels as normal reactions may actually be tendencies that don't consider factors such as personal development, conditioning, the influence of culture, the presence of shame or guilt from the family of origin, etc. In short, sexual behavior is complicated, I think this book takes an overly simplistic view of the true situation.

Another argument the author makes is that compatability is not a key point in dysfunctional patterns, but rather it is all biology. I disagree with this point as well. As Sam Hamburg says in another excellent book, Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map, compatability seems to cause commitment rather than vice versa. In the same book, he points out that marriage is a PUBLIC affair, while love is often private. This often leads to third parties having a lot of input into marital decisions, which may in part account for the rate of divorce, infidelity, etc. In his many years of counseling, he has seen that people who are compatible on three dimensions which he terms practical, wavelength and chemistry DON'T find it difficult to keep their commitments and that sex is bonding. The famous book A General Theory of Love elaborates on some of the biological and psychological reasons why this may be so.

Perhaps by now you are wondering why I am rating this book a four if I have a lot of critical things to say about it. The answer is that there is so much focus on communication, sexual technique and the importance of sex in relationship literature that this book offers a good alternative viewpoint. While I don't agree with the extreme view that is presented in this book, I do agree that hidden mating agendas CAN undermine relationships and that couple's often take each other for granted. If more couples focused on affection, conversation and a heart-centered connection, I suspect we would have more happy couples. Practicing abstaining orgasm could be a useful practice along these lines, but I don't believe it is necessary or the only practice that could enhance people's appreciation for each other and ward off sexual boredom.

The emphasis in the media, magazines and in popular culture in general seems to err on the other side to me. In other words, this cultural mileau seems to promote unrealistic expectations, many of which are handed down from the period of courtly love. In other words, we are conditioned to have high expectations, magical thinking and do a lot of projection in positive and negative ways. I think this is at least as important as what is going on with neurochemicals in the brain after orgasm. However, this book is useful in that it emphasizes that focusing more on love and less on sexual release would allow one to see their partner from a loving space. I wholeheartedly agree with this in moderation, but the extreme version presented here does offset a culture bias.

This is basically a good book with a lot of excellent information. I think the author has many worthwhile observations, but I don't think this is THE answer... it is AN answer of many to a very complicated and paradoxical area. I think a broader approach would have served most people better and I feel the author relied too much on her own opinion more than ALL of the AVAILABLE data. I suspect her research in this area took place once her opinion was already established and this may have biased her results and conclusions. I think it would be useful to apply something such as Ken Wilber's Integral Model to this complex problem because I think this book just leaves out to much. You can read about Wilber's model in the very accessible A Brief History of Everything. If your interest in some of the deeper psychological issues and considerations is strong, I would also consider reading Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power as well as The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment.

Again, my overall rating is a 3.5 and I found the book worthwhile to read. I believe it could help a lot of couples to be more appreciative of each other and have a better sex life. However, I would take some of the information with a grain of salt or at least balance it with other more complex perspectives that consider other aspects of the issues.

makes great sense to me :).......2007-04-09

Marnia Robinson lays it out very simply in this book. I was already introduced into this method of making love through reading religious and spiritual texts, but this book helped me to REALLY understand the 'WHY's and the 'HOW's. How does a normal person like me ACTUALLY put these things into PRACTICE? That is what this book is good for, very practical. She not only explains the science behind it extremely clearly, but also she prescribes a 2-3 week program to get you and your lover started. This book came just in time to save me and my fiancee :) One of the reviews says reading this book was one "AHA!" after another, this is so very true.

worth the $10 for sure!

A Missing Component of Sexuality Studies .......2006-05-21

Marnia's book offers a unique and engaging discussion of orgasm addiction and the destructive patterns that develop from greedy sexual behevior in relationships, as well as a curriculum for partners seeking to break this cycle. This book is an excellent starting place for people seeking to develop a practice involving sexual qi gong, sexual tantra, or sexual magick. Keep in mind, however, that while Robinson's take on orgasm addiction and the damage to relationships is spot-on, her solution is markedly missing vital componants of energy cultivation and circulation that are the cornerstone of the sexual-spiritual practices mentioned above!

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Excellent Product & Prompt Delivery
Great book to remember the wonders of the WTC with kids
Different Memories From a Different Time
A Good Book
This is a very good book.

The Man Who Walked Between The Towers
Mordicai Gerstein
Manufacturer: Roaring Brook Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Library Binding

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ASIN: 0761317910

Book Description

In 1974, French aerialist Philippe Petit threw a tightrope between the two towers of the World Trade Center and spent an hour walking, dancing, and performing high-wire tricks a quarter mile in the sky. This picture book captures the poetry and magic of the event with a poetry of its own: lyrical words and lovely paintings that present the detail, daring, and--in two dramatic foldout spreads-- the vertiginous drama of Petit's feat.

Customer Reviews:

Excellent Product & Prompt Delivery.......2007-09-15

This item was exactly as described in the item description. It was in the original packaging and is in excellent condition. I am very satisfied and I highly recommend this seller and product to everyone. This is an excellent book to talk to students or children about 9/11!

Great book to remember the wonders of the WTC with kids.......2007-09-11

I really enjoyed the review by E. R. Bird "Ramseelbird" and I agree with those comments and sentiment.

I can't recall how this book found its way into my 4-year old son's library, but we stumbled upon it and he always enjoys me re-reading it over and over. He has lots of questions about the perspective in the photos, what Petit is doing on the wires, whether he is going to fall or get hurt... so we read it over and over.

The first time I read it, I was not ready for the last page that begins "and now the towers are gone..." Wow. I always pause to compose myself on that one, which makes my son look up at me with a "what's going on" gaze. He asked why the towers are gone. At age 4, I kept it to "some bad people knocked them down, but everyone is ok now."

So, we focus on the positive in the book, and we are both happy with it. I would highly recommend it for your kids' library, especially if NY was ever your home, like it was for me when I was a kid.

Different Memories From a Different Time.......2007-06-15

On the morning of August 7, 1974, Phillipe Petit stretched a tightrope between the almost-completed World Trade Center towers. High above our nation's most famous city, between two of our most famous landmarks, Petit walked, danced, ran, and played upon a wire. This picture book gives readers a new historical perspective on a landmark whose story has become centered on tragedy. Gerstein, through butterflies-inducing storytelling and smile-provoking illustrations, reminds us of the towers' more joyful memories without discounting the tragedy of September 11, 2001.

A Good Book.......2007-04-04

The Man Who Walked between the towers is an awesome children's book, awarded with 'The Caldecott Medal'. The book is about a street performer named Philippe who could walk on ropes. His dream was to walk across Twin Towers on an enormous rope. I think that this book is appropriate for all ages. I would give it a up, a good rating.
The main character in this book is a street performer named Philippe. He could walk across trees and stuff like that on ropes for entertainment for other people and himself. Philippe also juggled, rode on a unicycle and he also did them both at the same time.
But Philippe had a dream to walk across the Twin Towers. The only problem was how was he going to do it? He had walked across the Notre Dame Cathedral and other places like that. It was interesting to read this book
about Philippe that was based on a real life event because I would've never thought that somebody would do something so courageous.
In the story, there were police that had told Philippe that if he tried walking across the Twin Towers he would fall and die, and there would be serious consequences for him if he succeeded in walking across. So Philippe comes up with a plan, along with some construction workers, to walk across the Twin Towers at night when no one can see them, against the
police department's wishes. Philippe gets a punishment that he would probably never expect.
I think that this is a great book for both children and s of all ages because it's a nice story. The only wrong thing in this book is that Philippe should have obeyed the police and done as they said, because it's wrong to not obey the police. I found out this book interesting and I really liked it. The Man Who Walked Between The Towers is a story of a courageous street performer that followed and accomplished his dream,
no matter what it took.

This is a very good book........2007-03-27

The man who walked between the towers is a very good book.It have details and good pictures.I rated it for 5 stars the book was so good. I keep reading it over and over again.And i never get tired of it.I wish the writer keep writing good book.And i'll always read it forever.

When Jesus Prays Through You: Releasing the Infinite Power of Heaven in Your Life

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When Jesus Prays Through You: Releasing the Infinite Power of Heaven in Your Life
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As a Christian, you have an Advocate in heaven. You have Jesus as your representative. In Jesus Our Intercessor, Charles Capps reveals powerful insights into your role in the present-day ministry of Jesus. This fresh look at intercession will change the way you think about praying in the Spirit. You will learn: * Why praying for others is a dynamic spiritual weapon * The role of intercession in the Old Testament * Why Jesus referred to Himself as the Son of man * How to use the Word of God as the Sword of the Spirit * Why praying in the Spirit is so vital to intercession Discover in a compelling way why Jesus needs you to represent His power to your loved ones on earth. This scriptural journey will demonstrate that you are not on your own-you have Jesus as your intercessor.

Reading Between the Lips: A Totally Deaf Man Makes It in the Mainstream

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Reading Between the Lips: A Totally Deaf Man Makes It in the Mainstream
Lew Golan
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Wow.......2006-10-26

This book fails to present any interesting story or perspective on the topic within. Lew expresses a distrust and dislike for ASL and Deaf Culture that permeates his work and it's simply unacceptable.

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Luther
Luther: Man Between God and the Devil
Indeed, a "Remarkable [ and Erudite ] Study" on the times, writings, and complex persona of Martin Luther
Luther in context with his times
Luther presented in the late-medieval/early-modern context

Luther: Man Between God and the Devil
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Manufacturer: Yale University Press
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Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0300103131

Customer Reviews:

Luther.......2007-09-02

I appreciated the evident scholarship in the book's objective yet sensitive treatment of the man, his life (including his foibles), his pastoral and theological work, and the historical context of the times in which he lived and labored. I especially appreciated the book's being written by a man personally (spiritually) familiar with the historic doctines of grace recovered during the time of the Protestant Reformation. This is no 'liberal,' 'higher-critical' or 'revisionist' diatribe against one of Christianity's greatest saints -- or for that matter against Christianity itself as merely one among many true paths to God in our post-modern world. I would have a hard time envisioning how this book could be improved upon, either in content or expression.

Luther: Man Between God and the Devil.......2007-08-12

In a concise manner, Heiko Oberman gives an insightful glimpse into the life and influence of Martin Luther that will enhance any readers understanding of the German Reformation.

Indeed, a "Remarkable [ and Erudite ] Study" on the times, writings, and complex persona of Martin Luther.......2006-10-16

The New Yorker calls this book a "Remarkable Study"

Okay, so this is the first biography of Luther that I have ever read. My previous knowledge of who was the "great Reformer" is from movies, religious literature quotes, preachers talking about church history and Reformation - a very limited view on the complexity of the Martin Luther's persona. The image on the cover is of Luther as Junker Jörg, Martin's moniker while hiding in the Wartburg castle after the papal excommunication.

For anyone intersted in seriously getting a good-enough grasp of who Martin Luther was and the times the he lived in, look no further. Oberman 's expectation of his work has had its effect on me - I am more interested in reading Martin Luther's original works.

The reason why I selected this to be my first biography on Luther is for a couple of reasons:

1) it is a book used by some Lutheran seminaries,
2) the author has used original sources and also German scholarly works for his research (his chapter notes alone span 23 pages)
3)wrote and published the first printing in German, and
4) the author has been true to his mission stated in the preface to "grasp the main in his totality - with head 'and' heart."

My impression, as I was slowly making my way through the book (underlining and writing notes), is that the author really understands the times in which Luther lived. I really felt that the author took me back to the early 1500's, central medieval Europe (aka Holy Roman Empire). Thus this book is not about exploring the "Catholic" or "Protestant," or even the "modern" Luther (although they are encountered in the book) but understanding Martin Luther as the man between God and the Devil. For Luther the work of the Devil was as real as the work of God; and he thought that the times he lived in were leading to the apocalyptic End Times.

Oberman, does an excellent job at showing the reader how Luther came to "discover the Gospel" again (who knew that the first book Luther taught as a professor of theology were the Psalms?) and understand "the righteousness" of God (not as a legalistic monk anymore but as a free Christian living by grace thru faith in Jesus Christ). The author understands well the climate of the late Medieval times: historical events (and the power struggles that played a role in the birth and the survival of the Reformation), theological disputes (not only between Rome and Luther, but also amongst the various reformers and European scholars), cultural and social barometer (how monks were viewed, what the lives of the peasants was, the medival superstitions that prevailed, etc.), and much, much more.

While the book has a tendency to read like a textbook, the author is not afraid to explore all aspects of the life and character of Luther and follows Luther in three stages:
1) the national, medieval, and Luther's familial atmosphere of "The Longed-for Reformation" (the word "reformation" at the time was as widely used as the word "democracy" is in our modern western times),
2) "The Unexpected Reformation" (even the Catholic theologian Hans Kueng admits that this church-dividing effect could have been prevented if the issue of indulgences and the charges against them would have been taken seriously by the pope and his legates), and
3) "The Reformation in Peril" (the debates amongst reformers about the meaning of Baptism and the Eucharist; Luther vs. Erasmus; Luther's inflamatory writtings against the 3 "enemies" of God: pope, revolting peasant, and Jews; his marriage to a nun being a medieval taboo and Luther's secret advice for bigamy to a prince; and more).

In conclusion, this erudite study will present all aspects of the life, writings, and complex persona of Martin Luther (who interestingly did not see himself as a "reformer" but rather as a preacher, evangelist, and doctor of theology, accordig to Oberman). It is not a work that will exagerate the virtues or biases seen in Martin Luther, but that will challenge the reader to understand the preacher and Wittenberg doctor of theology in the context of his times with the implications that his life and writings have on our modern times.

The brilliant research that Oberman has done brings to light many factoids that were both interesting and surprising to me. I will not spoil the fun and let you find out for yourself what these surprising factoids are. :-)

Luther in context with his times.......2006-01-15

Looking from the distance of time we see little of the details surrounding Luther. Oberman takes us to the 16th century and from that perspective he gives the reader a chance to grapple with the same world Luther lived in. A world where his manner, personality and lingustic hyperboyle is not out of sync as it appears to our 21st century eyes.

As unbiased and factual as any book written on the man. A must for anyone who has any interest in knowing Luther.

Luther presented in the late-medieval/early-modern context.......2004-03-18

In Heiko Oberman's Luther: Man between God and the Devil, the reader is introduced to Martin Luther, a man who is arguably one of the most important historical figures of the two preceding millennia. In the book, Oberman traces Luther's life from his birth (born November 10th, 1483) to his death (February 18th, 1546), and he ably sketches the cultural, religious, and political environment that surrounded this turbulent era of reformation and revival. While Oberman presents a lucid portrait of the great Wittenberg Reformer, his chief contention throughout the book is that Luther can only be understood in light of the late-medieval worldview that (among other things) took the insidious (and tangible) machinations of the Devil seriously. For Luther, Oberman argues, the Devil was a constant adversary, and Luther detected his influence in nearly every facet of life - from the great to the mundane. It is this late-medieval worldview that provides the crucial background information for properly understanding the complex persona of Martin Luther the monk, professor, reformer, husband, and father.

The book begins by outlining the political and religious environment that preceded the decisive break between Luther and Rome. Politically, there was growing resentment by the German princes (and populace) toward what was perceived as Roman arrogance and world-hegemony. This antagonism towards Rome, coupled with an increasing nationalistic-patriotic fervor among Germans is especially evident in Luther's political manifesto, Address to the Christian Nobility of the German Nation, published in 1520. Oberman also demonstrates that from a religious perspective, the age preceding and extending into the era of reformation was one in which church reform was eagerly expected and sought after (particularly in and among the various monastic movements - a situation which proved to be a critical influence on the young monk Luther). The wealthy and powerful Church of Rome with its hierarchical structure found itself the object of increasing disdain among those who noted the striking contrast between the power and wealth of the Roman church and the meek and lowly Jesus. It was in this context of political and religious instability that Luther and his criticism of church praxis (particularly the scandal of indulgences) eventually grew into church-wide revolt and an ultimate break with the Roman See. Further, as a result of the Roman curial reaction to his challenges, Luther came to regard the Roman hierarchy (and eventually everyone who opposed him theologically) as inspired by the Devil. Against this backdrop, Oberman demonstrates that it is easy to understand how Luther could so vociferously oppose both church and state (i.e., the Emperor) - for Luther it was a confrontation between God and the Devil. Additionally, as Oberman traces Luther's development toward his great "reformation breakthrough," he notes the critical influence that Luther's hermeneutic played in his doctrinal formulations. For Luther, even before his decisive turning point, he emphasized that there was a center to biblical theology - Christ crucified. In order to interpret Scripture properly and to hear its message, it had to be interpreted from its center. In other words, "What proclaims Christ" becomes the final point of reference for Scriptural exegesis. With a Christo-centric hermeneutic, Oberman argues that Luther's "reformation breakthrough" comes once he "breaks" with the medieval tradition associating the "righteousness of God" as something disbursed by the church and contingent upon human merit, and he associates this concept with the righteousness that Christ grants to all freely as a gift. Oberman also argues that it was Luther's explosive personality, coupled with his ever present sense of the Devil's influence on world events which eventually led to 1) his endorsement of the massacre of the peasants during their revolt, 2) his refusal to unite with those reformers who did not believe in the real presence in the elements of communion, and 3) his strong renunciation of Jews in his later years. Oberman concludes his book by painting a more personal portrait of Luther, examining his relationship with his wife, his children, and his friends, and demonstrating that Luther was a passionate (and often irascible) man who understood all of life (including his intimate relationships) as lived before God and challenged by the Adversary.

This is a well-written book that draws the reader into Luther's world and helps those of us who come from a different era (and consequent worldview) to better understand the environment which produced the reformation and the man who was so pivotal in its implementation. Oberman's thesis concerning Luther's late-medieval outlook is compelling, and he demonstrates throughout the book (by direct citation) how this insight better explains the man and his actions. To substantiate his points, he cites Luther's own words, and the words of his contemporaries, which consistently reinforce Oberman's main thesis. As a whole, the book is an interesting read, made even more so by the fascinating pictoral illustrations that are scattered throughout the book, and which communicate the spirit of the age through pictures (many of which reinforce Oberman's thesis that the conflict was seen primarily as a conflict between God and the Devil).

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Walking in the Shadow of a Rainbow.

Absolutely Incredible

"Shadow of a Rainbow": Silver Screen for the Silver Skin?

Connections

One of the best that I've read!

In the Shadow of a Rainbow: The True Story of a Friendship Between Man and Wolf
Robert Franklin Leslie
Manufacturer: W. W. Norton & Company
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0393314529

Customer Reviews:

Walking in the Shadow of a Rainbow........2005-07-07

I have read many wolf books, but this one brings a feeling of bondage between Man and Wolf. But the story is not goody-goody. There are bounty hunters and trappers as there are in real life. This book refers to a map in the beginning of the book a lot, but you can manage to do without it, its not vital. Though this is a slightly shorter book it still has all the action and emotions as if you were really there. It is a really good buy and would recomend it to any wolf or animal lover.

Absolutely Incredible.......2003-10-25

Just finished reading this and it is truly the most powerful factual story I have ever read. It has a similar thread to a fiction novel by another Native American author, Ghost in the Rainbow. There is a ghost wolf Indian spirit in that story, and I couldn't read this story without referring back to that one. The Native Americans know something about wolves, and this book touches upon that something...are wolves spirit creatures? I am of the opinion, because of these two books, to believe wolves are a lot more than animals. I can only encourage people to read this story. You will never be the same.

"Shadow of a Rainbow": Silver Screen for the Silver Skin?.......2002-07-24

There are three non-religious books I read and re-read constantly. "In the Shadow of a Rainbow" is one of them. Man and wolf become alive before our eyes, with unexpected depth and dimension, as does the land of BC itself - and my life has become the richer.

I despair of ever seeing this story done properly on film, but there is one person who could do it justice - Hayao Miyazaki, master storyteller from Japan, known the US for "Totoro," "Kiki's Delivery Service," and "Princess Mononoke." (He could also do a worthy animated "Diary of Anne Frank." With the eye and heart of a spiritual magician, and artist's touch to match, I wait for him to bring Nahani alive on the screen. In the meantime, I'll just have to keep reading the book itself...

Connections.......2002-02-05

What a lovely book. Leslie has captured the remarkable story of a young Indian man, who is befriended by a wolf, in living color. Greg (the Indian) and Nahani (the white wolf) meet when Nahani brings her pack into the area where Greg is prospecting for gold . Thanks to Greg's willingness to watch and learn from the wolves, along with his inherent respect for their boundaries and ways of doing things, the leader of the pack (Nahani)gradually comes to trust him. Eventually she sits by his fire, allows him to scratch her back, and pull ticks from her skin. This mutually satisfying relationship ends when the first snows of winter arrive and Greg must return to town.

Back in civilization, Greg discovers that Nahani has earned a reputation as a killer. There is a large reward being offered to anyone who can kill her and bring in the skin. Greg is naturally upset by this, and tries to convince people that the wolf is not a threat. He is opposed by a trapper named Dan who does all he can to stop Greg from helping the wolf. Concerned for Nahani's safety, Greg embarks on a 3-year quest to locate the wolf and save her if he can.

The story of how Greg manages to locate and track Nahani through one of the remotest and most inaccessible regions of the country is as inspiring as it is fascinating. Better still is the story of what happens when Greg eventually locates the wolves.

This story, which ends on a very positive note, is said to be true. It was told to the author (Robert Franklin Leslie) by Greg himself. Aside from the few places where human motivations and emotions are attributed to the wolf, the story rings true. It is a real treat for anyone who believes in the interconnectedness of all living things.

One of the best that I've read!.......2001-01-09

I have read many books, both fictional and non-fictional, about wolves. This book was truly one of the best. It was refreshing to read a story about a wolf where it did not end up dead by the end of the story yet, the story is realistic. If you love wolves, you will be amazed at the friendship that is possible between a human and a pack of wolves. I will re-read this one!

How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women

Average customer rating:

Relational Intimacy in an Era of Changing Roles
Not convinced
How Can I get through to you?
A must read for therapists as well as couples
Not male-bashing, but patriarchy bashing

How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women
Terrence Real
Manufacturer: Scribner
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0684868776
Release Date: 2002-01-01

Book Description

Why is love between men and women so difficult? In this groundbreaking new book, bestselling author Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted more than a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40 to 50 percent. Our culture prepares us to fall in love, but it does not give us the skills we need to stay in love. Here Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve it.

The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles, Real explains. In the past thirty years, women's roles have changed radically and men's have not. For the first time, adult women are asking their partners to access the very skills -- emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibility -- that most men have had psychologically, if not physically, stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not raise boys to be intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same time, girls are taught to be compliant and accommodating. The result is that, within relationships, men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which either sidesteps the issue or reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills.

Real's insights into marriage are a direct outgrowth of his pioneering work on male depression, which culminated in his bestselling I Don't Want to Talk About It. As in that book, Real draws on myth, literature, film, and heartrending stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, marriage, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles but also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of love is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections, and he then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the book that every couple has been waiting for -- and our culture needs.

Customer Reviews:

Relational Intimacy in an Era of Changing Roles.......2007-08-31

This is an excellent book. Real has thought through couple's issues in a smart way, refreshingly different than many who have preceded him.

In this book, Real faces head-on the reality that many women come into couples work with fierce anger, frustrated by trying to achieve true emotional intimacy with their man. His premise is that many women's responsibilities and aspirations have grown as part of the women's movement and their resulting, empowered roles, during decades when many men's roles and expectations have progressed less dramatically. As difficult as the tone of the anger and complaint, Real suggests the substance of women's frustrations is right-on, which will provide some much needed vindication for women readers.

This book is full of composite examples of couples-therapy sessions where the woman's attitude sounds in complaint and withering anger. The man in these examples sounds clueless, and deeply hurt by the woman's anger. Real's prototypical woman comes off like a nag, shaming while complaining. It is at this point where men typically recoil avoiding facing women's needs, and their own fears.

In Real's analysis, unconscious and almost always unacknowledged entitlement characterizes the man's side of the relationship problems. We were raised to quietly sit back in much that happens in the home, letting things take care of themselves. In reality, things don't really take care of themselves; women are taking care of them. Men's toughest work, it seems, is traditionally as breadwinner outside the home. Once home, perhaps enlightened some by the women's movement, we may do some chores and help some with the kids. But we may also quietly avoid the challenging work of true relational intimacy with our woman. The man often sees no problem, or at least no rational issue.

The man may think, "what's the problem: I am nice and thoughtful. I don't rage or abuse....." But the rub may be in his disengagement, and in his urgent avoidance of shame. Having studied male depression (I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression"), Real understands that men's issues are often driven by shame, where women's are often driven by fear.

Because women are most heavily tasked with maintaining relationship, and are very often dependent on the man for economic and child-rearing reasons, women's fears are usually first expressed circumspectly, on eggshells, rather than angrily. The fierce anger arises later -- after more delicate strategies have maddeningly failed. The anger feels like poison to the man.

Real's approach is much needed, and this book not only explains unflinchingly, but suggests ways out of the deadlock. There have been important contributions along the way - e.g., Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. And there are libraries full of hyped up, supposed love-life panaceas. This fellow has a smart, tough set of insights, with ideas for finding our way out of the wilderness of too many current relationships. Highly recommended, for both men and women, and for couples therapists.

Real has since published an excellent follow up book structured a bit more as a "how to" guide: The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work. This is also very highly recommended.

Not convinced.......2007-06-08

Mr. Real asserts as an established fact that traumatizing events in childhood cause us to adopt patriarchal male and female roles in our adult lives and in our relationships. Even if this were true - and for the record I wasn't convinced - he has precious little in his book that a lay reader can take away and use. I found his writing style to be pedantic and touchy-feely at the same time (not an easy thing to pull off), and sprinkled with long stretches of incomprehensible gibberish. Why use one little word when ten big ones will do? The guy just wouldn't get to the point.

Professionals in this field may have a better appreciation for the style and content of this book, but I would not recommend it to those in need of counsel.

How Can I get through to you?.......2007-05-12

This book was written before the Marriage book Terry wrote. In some ways I got more information that I needed. If you are trying to improve any relationship this book is a must read. Terry Real is right on!

A must read for therapists as well as couples.......2006-10-22

I read this book to get continuing eductaion credits for my social work license. It's completely changed how I look at the therapy process. It's also completely changed how I look at my marriage. It provides an effective, yet not impossibly complicated, roadmap through the dilemmas and no-win situations in which couples find themselves. It gave me insights into what I was doing wrong, and ideas of how I could quickly change.

Is this a male bashing book? I thought so at first. As much as I liked the book, I resented being stereotyped as a male with a certain commitment to accomplishment at the expense of vulnerability and feelings. I'm actually just the opposite, a product of 1960's encounter groups. Toward the end of the book, though, Real does acknowledge that every now and then there is a male who has the opposite problem. He's in touch with feelings, the nurturing side of life, but perhaps viewed as a loser in the world of accomplishments. And that fits me dead on!

The book's style isn't typical for a book about therapy. There's a great deal of self-revelation on Real's part, and also many passages that would pass as high-caliber fiction were they not obviously based on fact. Real is a skillful writer. And that makes him easier to read.

Not male-bashing, but patriarchy bashing.......2006-03-07

I am applying to graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and I believe this book will be my guiding star. I've read a few reviews that claim it to be "male-bashing" or "all women are right, all men are wrong". Those who have written this must have not read the caring, empathic way that Terry has addressed the hurt that disconnection has caused these men he chronicles. I have many wonderful men in my life - a caring father, two wonderful older brothers - and I understand Terry's point that masculine in not necessarily an assignation of gender. There are masculine and feminine qualities, and both genders can have any of them. Predominantly, the men have masculine ones - however, did these reviewers not notice the example of the woman who fled to the "power-up" position in a masculine fashion? The response is wrong - not the gender that has this response forced upon them.

Relationships, or relational skills, are feminine skills. Men are not generally taught them - this does not make them "wrong" and it isn't "bashing" to say so. Terry's practical guide on how to reestablish connection speaks to the men, yes, but also to the woman - so she can learn how to make her voice heard in a respectful, loving way.

My advice to any man who would like to read this is to put down your shield, and realize that your women want to LOVE you, not beat you. That's patriarchial thinking right there - this isn't a war. It's a relationship, and it's about love.

We Have to Talk : Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women

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We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women
Another Pearl
Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody
Wish I had read it 10 years ago!
It Worked For Me...

We Have to Talk : Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women
Samuel Shem , and Janet L. Surrey
Manufacturer: Basic Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0465091148

Amazon.com

Most popular books about relationships stress gender differences: We're from different planets, we don't understand each other, our words have different meanings, and so forth. This book asserts that we can understand our differences and get past them, replacing isolation with connection in a healthy, growth-fostering relationship. The authors call this "getting to 'we.'"

Shem and Surrey have worked with more than 20,000 men, women, boys, and girls. We hear workshop participants using "gender dialogue": asking questions to aid in understanding and reconnecting, such as "Name three strengths the other gender group brings to relationships," "What do you most want to understand about the other gender group?", and "What do you most want the other gender group to understand about you?"

"Disconnections between men and women are inevitable--no one ever gets it right the first time, or all the time," say the authors. "It's not only what you do that matters, it's what you do next." This book gives insights into our differences--such as men's "relational dread" and women's "relational yearning," and how to move past conflict to collaboration. The chapter "How Couples Grow" is invaluable, describing a detailed process to work through impasses and rediscover the "we" in your relationship. --Joan Price

Book Description

Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey, a remarkable husband-and-wife team, challenge the popular wisdom that men and women must resign themselves to inherent differences. They outline a program of dialogues that help couples move beyond superficial harmony to genuine connection.

"We have to talk." For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language. But it doesn't have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their path-breaking and practical new book.

Shem and Surrey use their popular workshops where couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex to explore the impasses that confront men and women due to the vastly different developmental paths that they travel. And we see couples bridge those gaps to emerge from isolation into mutuality.

Filled with moving stories and practical information, We Have to Talk shatters the Rules and proves that men and women aren't from different planets, after all.

Customer Reviews:

We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women.......2006-05-20

This book challenges the prevailing theories about how men and women are different suggesting that these differences are socialized rather than intrinsic. In this book the authors show what is possible between men and women in terms of having mutual and deep connections by nurturing the "We" rather than the I & you. The concept of seeing ourselves as part of a "We" that needs to be cultivated is revolutionary and filled with promise.

Another Pearl.......2002-03-11

"We Have to Talk" is a good read, almost too good, and I was left wondering how much was fiction and how much was non-fiction. Is Samuel Shem deliberately teasing us in using identical passages in his work of fiction "Mount Misery" and his later release ( with Janet Surrey) "We Have to Talk"?

"We Have to Talk" (pg. 83)

Kate: Where shall we go to dinner?
Mitch: Let's go to Miguel's.
Kate: How `bout Pintemento
Mitch: Okay, let's go to Pintemento.
Kate: (after a pause) But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's.
Mitch: No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go.
Kate: But I want to go where you want to go too.
Mitch: (silence)
Kate: Why don't you want to go to Pintemento?
Mitch: I just want to decide.
Kate: But we are deciding.
Mitch: We're not getting anywhere. (tensely) Let's just make a decision.
Kate: (screaming) Why are you yelling at me? (starts to cry)
Mitch: (screaming) I'm not yelling!

"Mount Misery" (pg. 175-176)

. . . "Let's go out to dinner."
"Fine. Where shall we go?"
"Let's go to Miguel's."
"How about Pentimento?"
"Okay," I said, not really caring, "let's go to Pentimento."
She paused, studying me. "But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's."
"No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go."
"But I want to go where you want to go too." She considered this, and asked, "Why don't you want to go to Pentimento?"
Feeling more tense, I said, "I just want to decide."
The phone began ringing.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
"I'm not yelling."

Also compare pages 201-202 of "Mount Misery" with page 44 of "We Have to Talk".

The point to be made is not that Shem, the master of extreme hyperbole, is a sham, but that, while his fiction is eerily like real life, his non-fiction smacks of anecdote and fantasy. Even if Tom and Ann are real, a couple detailed in "We Have To Talk" who but the most affluent with limitless recourses, could afford the luxuries they take for granted, in and out of therapy. What about a boot-strapping theory for the rest of us?

Also, why the pervasive Freud bashing in both books? I am certainly not a Freud fan, but why is "holding the We" any less contrived then "the shadow of the object falls across the ego"? Doesn't Shem do exactly as Freud, concocting fanciful theories to fit his anecdotal experiences from a small cross section of the American population in order to serve his own notoriety?

I still recommend "We Have to Talk" but ask the reader to sift through the self help dross for the occasional enlightening pearls.

Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody.......2001-09-05

This book is oriented to people from the USA society. Some ideas discussed in the book might not work for people with other cultural backgrounds, like Asian or Latin American. However, even if you are not from the USA, you could get some good tips, but don't think the whole book will be useful.

Wish I had read it 10 years ago!.......2000-04-17

This is a great book - the kind of book that you wish you had read 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of pain and grief in my relationships. I'm a 35 year old male - and I could recognize both the male responses in the book - and the reaction of the women. I recommend it to all my male friends - this is the book all men should read if they want to make their relationships with women work - and if they really want to learn what it means to truly connect, not just with women, but with each other as well. A truly insighful - and inspirational - book.

It Worked For Me..........2000-01-18

A very thought-provoking and enlightening work on gender differences and how they conspire to prevent/hobble quality relationship between men & women. I found myself continually clapping my forehead and saying "Duh!" and I've always fancied myself an evolved, hip and sensitive new-age guy!

With that said, I'm eager to "reality check" this book with some of my women friends to get their perspective. My instinct tells me "We Have to Talk" can be an incredibly valuable tool in understanding the deep, social underpinnings of both interpersonal communication and relational behavior. In fact, this may have been the single best interpersonal or "relationship" book I've ever read...and I've read a few. I now feel much better-equipped now to build stronger, healthier and more mutually-rewarding relationships in the future.

Book Description

All men need to know the rules that lead to success in every professional and social situation, and no one can explain them with more humor and verve than Esquire's experts: "Queer Eye Guy" Ted Allen and Scott Omelianuk.

With lots of wit and plenty of wisdom, this to-the-point handbook advises men on all aspects of life, from topics to discuss during a plane flight with the boss to surefire signs a woman wants to get you into bed. (There are no surefire signs.) Written by Ted Allen, one of the Fab Five on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Scott Omelianuk, Esquire's former executive editor, it presents the rules of the game that every man who wants to get ahead should follow in these complicated times. Need etiquette guidance on the job? Find out what to wear on an interview, what things never to order at a business dinner, how to fire somebody, how to ask for a raise, and more. Want ideas to heat up the bedroom? Always remember: It's about her. Except when it's about her. Every page offers a delicious new tidbit of enlightening amusement.

Things a Man Should Know:
The thing is, the clothes do make the man.
Use all the mouthwash and breath mints you like.
Sticky notes are not stationery.
Everybody who drinks the office coffee should occasionally make a pot.
On the notion that good girls don't: Yes, they do.
Menage à trois: French for "In your dreams."

Customer Reviews:

A misleading 'book'.......2006-08-22

I'd say that readers expecting anything of substance relating to any of the topics discussed in this book should look elsewhere.

There is some really good advice about work, sex, and relationships. But, I was unhappy with the fact that the authors use 36 point font so that each page has about 9-10 sentences. It just makes one wonder whether they had about half of a book and decided to put it out in this format to pull one over on the reader.

Had they actually used a proper font size, I doubt this 'book' would be more than a 20 page pamphlet.

I'd say give it a pass.

It's actually 2 books in 1.......2005-09-21

After I bought this book I learned that it is actually 2 books in 1--"Esquire's Things a Man Should Know About Sex" and "Esquire's Things a Man Should Know About Handshakes, White Lies, and Which Fork Goes Where." You should definitely buy this book instead of the other 2, because it is twice as long for the same price. This book consists almost entirely of 1- or 2-sentence paragraphs with pithy advice about how to behave in the workplace, how to dress, and how to woo women and behave in the bedroom. It also has a few etiquette questions and answers and top ten lists (such as things not to do in a certain situation, etc.) thrown in for good measure. A good humorous reference for men and useful for women as well so they can understand men better (maybe). I recommend it for short-attention-span reading.

A fun ride through Gender Studies..........2005-06-29

Scott Omelianuk and Ted Allen (of "Queer Eye" fame) former Esquire magazine editors who have written numerous books called "Esquire's Things a Man Should Know About . . ." are shrewd & witty writers with an eye for amusing specifics their series contains titles such as "Marriage", "Handshakes & White Lies", "Sex", "Style" & now this ... Esquire's Things a Man Should Know about Work and Sex (and Some Things in Between) which are all based on the magazine's popular feature of the same name.

It's not really a book. Well it is, no its not. Yes it is. It's more a collection of one-liners and witty admonitions constituting a vague philosophy of life that would be considered ideal by some & chauvinistic by others.

This racy guide conveys insights from men and women, wisecracks and tips about cultivating and maintaining relationships like "Ménage à trios" is French for "In your dreams." & Sex three times a week can burn off 7,500 calories a year etc...

This book is a straight-forward guide on what to do, when to do it & who to do it with. Everything you ever wanted to know about life with a twist...pretty much.

Its one of those books that are sarcastic, witty & a pleasant read.

I've got five books of the same series & each is unique in its own right, however there are a few repeats but that is expected. Their humor at men's expense is terrific but actually women relish it too. I mean how far can you go in a man's world to realize our life revolves around the fairer sex?

Not recommended for people who are too serious or can't laugh at themselves.

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