Book Description
In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!
Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you’ll discover how to
- identify and articulate your wants and needs
- listen well and respond generously
- set limits, and stand up for yourself
- embrace and appreciate what you have
- know when to seek outside help
The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
Customer Reviews:
WOW.......2007-09-27
This book is amazing. Actual steps and language to help couples discuss and work through really important issues. Makes sense to both male and female. Great "case studies" examples of principles in action. Really really like this book.
New Rules an interesting read........2007-09-20
I saw the author on television talking about the book and was intrigued enough to buy it. It was well worth the price.
Terrence Real does a great job of including real-life examples to support his theories of relationship building.
I recommend it highly.
A Must Read, Whether in a Good or Poor or Future Relationship!.......2007-06-18
This is the BEST relationship book that I would recommend people read no matter if you are in a good, solid relationship and want to keep it that way, in a rocky relationship that you'd like to improve, or just thinking about someday being in a relationship. In fact, it is excellent even for those who are not going to be married - just socially interacting with other human beings!! Written by Terrence Real (a family therapist, who also specializes in male depression) this book certainly makes MY FRIENDS MUST READ list. Chapters are divided and activities arranged in such a way that individuals can work thru the book on their own (and see true positive changes in their relationships - with partners or friends) OR you can work thru it as a couple in addition to individual work. Real does makes some inaccurate statements about feminism and the feminist movements in our country, but I guess no book can be perfect and not everyone has background education in Women's Studies. :)
Every Couple's Read.......2007-06-15
If you are serious about your relationship, and both interested in learning your limitations, this is an exceptional resource.
The author describes the difference between men (who retreat into their caves to avoid intimacy and work on problems) and women (who retreat into anger to avoid problems and end up limiting initimacy). Becoming self aware is an essential aspect of operating in the world, if we are willing to be honest about our behaviors we can become more functional.
I also listened to the Audio version of the book and it was much more informative to hear the examples and conversations in this format. Having a tendency to drift when I read such examples, hearing them was better.
The behaviors identified, practices provided, and exercises are well worth the effort. We don't expect ourselves to be trained in our occupations, why is it we expect that we will be perfectly skilled to succeed in relationship? It takes learning, and enough esteem to realize we don't know everything about making it work.
This is a great start to intimate health.
Couple Conflict.......2007-05-09
Understand why marriage is so difficult in today's world, and how to handle conflict with your spouse.
Average customer rating:
- Excellent book!
- A great book, but I disagree with some of his approach
- Human wisdom
- Revealing System Dynamics
- Hellinger's the real deal
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Love's Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships
Bert Hellinger ,
Gunthard Weber , and
Hunter Beaumont
Manufacturer: Zeig, Tucker & Theisen
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Similar Items:
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Acknowledging What Is: Conversations With Bert Hellinger
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The Art and Practice of Family Constellations. Leading Family Constellations as Developed by Bert Hellinger
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Love's Own Truths: Bonding and Balancing in Close Relationships
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On Life & Other Paradoxes: Aphorisms and Little Stories from Bert Hellinger
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The Healing Power of the Past: A New Approach to Healing Family Wounds
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ASIN: 1891944002 |
Customer Reviews:
Excellent book!.......2007-01-09
I had therapeutic results just reading the book. Bert Hellinger reveals Truths that make a shift in one's heart that effects how we react to others and how they respond or react to us.
Hellinger explains how injuries in one individuals' emotional field can effect someone else in the system, often for several generations. He also shows how one individual can "balance" the system. No one has to change, one only does what needs to be done. For example, a mother may have a hurt from her reaction to her husband, and tell a son, "your father is no good." She may also tell the son, "you are just like your father", so the son feels rejected by the mother, that there is something wrong with his father and him. He may turn to drugs or alcohol to cover the feelings of unworthiness, and no amount of rehab will work until the family system is balanced and love is reconciled.
Hellinger shows how these fields impact us, causing us to behave in destructive ways. When one "sees" what is going on, without moral judgement, and just does what needs to be done, amazing healing can happen in the whole system.
The work is quite profound. It is not an easy or fast read. It is a book that you read a few chapters and process the information; then you read it again and again.
A great book, but I disagree with some of his approach.......2006-08-25
I think what Mr. hellinger observed is how karma works in this world, though he said his finding is different from karma's ordinary definition. I believe we carry our original temperament and karma, and we are influrenced easily by people around us with their karma. In order not to be influrenced so easily, especially, by negative engery, we should pray oftenly to God for protection. Sylvia Browne's God, Creation, and Tools for Life will tell you how.
Human wisdom.......2004-10-28
This is a marvelous book that addresses fundamental issues in our contemporary Western society with great, heart-felt insight.
The author discusses his theory and practice of the phenomenology of intimate relationships, which has the power to uncover the hidden dynamics of family relations, in order to heal individual people and their entire family system.
The author explains in great detail how any loss of balance - in our sense of belonging, give-and-take, and need for structure - within family systems necessarily causes feelings of guilt in both the family conscience and individual consciences of its members. Loss of balance in one part of the system invariably causes compensation in other, weaker parts, most often children - who will be adults later in their lives.
If the, mostly subconscious, causes of these compensations are not properly recognized and addressed, then therapy is bound to fail. If however we start from fundamental insight in the system dynamics well explained in this marvelous book, then we will be empowered to take the right course of action.
All sorts of causes are phenomenologically explained in this book, in order to provide fundamental insight in their "karmic" structures of cause-result: divorce, child adoption, sexual abuse, suicide, homocide, criminal behavior, abortion, unfaithfulness in marriage, a scape-goat within a family, different sexual needs within an intimate relationship, tragic loss, re-marriage after divorce, a child mothering or fathering a parent, homosexuality, jealousy, refusal to accept a parent, legal custody, illegal children, neglecting a partner in favour of children, and so on.
The author offers fundamental insight in these matters, as well as sound strategies to address them decisively. There is a sense of "natural magic" in his therapeutics, when Bert Helling has a client re-enact (and correct) their family constellation. One can easily understand that Hellinger must have learnt much of this from his work as a former Catholic priest among the Zulus of South-Africa, where a kind of "innate wisdom" must have been awoken in him - The short biography in the appendix anyway explains a lot about the developing "spirit" of Hellinger during his life.
In conclusion: This book may teach us to gain our rightful place within our family system, one that is our birth-right; gain freedom from "systemic guilt", and live in peace within our family.
What I like about this book is its redeeming spirit and its knowing heart, which anyone can understand. It is deeply human and I like it tremendously. If any book can change your life by gaining fundamental insight in family dynamics, then this is the one. I wish I could rate it with 6 stars.
Revealing System Dynamics.......2002-03-23
For me chapter one alone is worth the price. As a group facilitator, Hellinger's insight on the how the system balances and how to approach it from the practitioner's point of view reveals a lot of system thinking in family/group situation. I particularly appreciate he sees his role as a Tao Master, which is really doing something by doing nothing. This book is now in Chinese and we have a study group and an on-going practitioner's group around the topic.
Hellinger's the real deal.......2000-10-13
With the wisdom of a sage, Hellinger takes on psychotherapy, conventional beliefs about relationships and what is commonly accepted between family members and lovers in their relationships. Hellinger's message is one of humility in accepting what is, especially the natural order of relationships. For instance, rather than bemoaning an abusive father, Hellinger will stand by the victimizer and have the victim, a son or daughter, humbly acknowledge the father for being the father and to place the circumstances as secondary. In this action, the natural order of the relationship becomes untangled. Hellinger is more interested not in details but in finding what works in resolving problems. The past is past, he seems to say with each page's turn, and focusing on making things right is his intent.
From my personal work, I have seen how this work is indeed powerfully effective, and because of Hellinger's non-linear, often intangible approach, he is a controversial and immensely popular figure in psychotherapy. This review does not do this book or Hellinger's work justice. In reading Love's Hidden Symmetry, I found myself reading only a small section, then putting down the book to sit with whatever I had just read. Each section is worth more than the space on its page, in other words. It took some time to complete it, and a better understanding of what he says will probably only come in time and in multiple readings. Hellinger's work talks precisely about being humbled by each other and our processes and how things work as they do. Moreoever, through his readings and family constellations I have discovered how powerfully my lineage influences who I am. The brilliance of this work is in its systemic significance: how noted events, such as war or murder, can have lasting effects transgenerationally.
My only criticism his is limited inclusion about environmental factors and the role of civilization in contributing to individual psychological problems; this area is not seeming to be his focus. Instead, Hellinger, a master psychotherapist, appears more interested in redirecting our entangled relationships with each other. I leave my first reading of this book still intent on people finding healthier ways to live, rather than just necessarily focusing on their healing; at the same time, I am blown away by what Hellinger does for the individual and family end of things. It is simply unlike no other I have been exposed to before.
Book Description
In Pregnancy Sucks for Men, the hilarious follow-up to Joanne Kimes' Pregnancy Sucks, the author and her husband, Jeff, tell it like it is and show men how they can help out without doing the chore wrong; understand and cope with their wives' emotional rollercoaster rides; and duck for cover when the mood swings are aimed at their heads.
Prescriptive and hilarious, Pregnancy Sucks for Men enables the father-to-be to:
Avoid getting puked on - now that his wife has a superhuman sense of smell
Offer and prepare the right foods when the woman of his dreams turns into a frightening hungry beast
Woo his wife into bed with romance, good timing, and by getting the housework done
Arranged in a convenient, month-by-month format and broken up by guy-on-the-street quotes, Pregnancy Sucks for Men is the one pregnancy book a man will proudly read for himself.
Customer Reviews:
My husband actually read it!.......2007-08-08
This book was hilarious and the title was funny enough to sucker my husband into reading it. Recommended!
It Takes All Kinds.......2007-07-25
I did review Pregnancy Sucks, and found it a bit humorous. While in the bookstore I had also taken a look through Pregnancy Sucks for Men.
Mind you, in the other review I mentioned that this was one woman's personal story through one pregnancy. This is the flipside, her husband's story. And... well, if my husband had been anyone who needed this kind of advice, my pregnancy would suck as well.
I don't know if the fact that I don't have a Y chromosome (and therefore couldn't "get" the humor) or that I wasn't in a receptive mood... but this really wasn't all that funny. Husband must humor the pregnant wife, husband must be given a clue about what all is going on, husband must smile and nod at his wife's antics. Give me a break, wasn't this stuff covered in the old Honeymooner's episodes? How many years ago?
I know my husband would be offended by this book. But hey-- there are tons of people out there who may enjoy what really turned me off, and if they learn something out of it, then bully for them. While I did enjoy Joanne's book, Jeff's was left at the bookstore. My advice is to actually take a peek inside and decide if its humor is for you.
this book is awesome.......2007-05-06
I was my first child when given this book as a gift. It is the perfect book for a guy who has a hard time reading the same books your wife is reading (what to expect, girlfriends guide) because those were all written for the female. This book speaks in guy terms and is a humorous (yet accurate) approach towards dealing with pregnancy. I have passed on my copy to other friends and have purchased many copies for friends who are expecting babies. This is a great read!
Ummm...yeah. .......2007-04-20
"Your wife might take a dump on the delivery table"...is just one of the great sentences in this horrible book. Oh yeah...and if the doctor cuts her, don't worry, this book tells her just to get a "happy husband stitch". Nevermind that lovemaking will be incredibly painful for her....!! Oh, unless you have a c-section, in which case it will just be your hormones to deal with.
What a terrible book.
Great Therapy.......2006-12-28
When my wife was enduring some very un-funny complications (near tragic), this very funny (and informative) book was the emotional medicine I needed in staying the course as the rock of support. Until I read this, it was very difficult to find reason to laugh.
Book Description
In The Couple's Survival Workbook, two veteran psychologists show that the secret to marital longevity is deep, abiding friendship. Partners will learn to stop blaming and start focusing on their own contribution to the problem.
Customer Reviews:
very good!.......2006-05-28
this book is very good. it is practical, full of helpful suggestions and exercises. it offers just enough "theory" to sell the tasks and support their basis. everyone, that is many couples, to whom i've recommended this book, have made significant improvements in their relationship WHEN they have read the book, discussed it, and tried the changes. well worthwhile the read and several dollars for the improvements in the most important relationship you probably have!
A Very Helpful Resource.......2005-08-09
I found this workbook to be a very useful tool to use with a person or couple struggling in a marriage relationship. The strength of the workbook is found in that it doesn't seek to change the other spouse (a frustrating and futile venture), but rather focuses on the one who seeks help in the first place. How can the concerned spouse be a better husband or wife in the midst of the difficulties? Critical areas are covered, such as finances, sexual issues, and in-law tensions.
Puts It All Together.......2003-01-08
For a marriage to get back on track, many factors need to change. This workbook puts it all together in clear steps. Easy to read and very comprehensive. It is now my first choice in books to recommend to the couples I work with as a marriage counselor.
Review.......2002-06-14
A very helpful book for dealing with relationship issues. I would hightly recommend it.
Book Description
We all want to know how to make love work for us, yet satisfying love is elusive. We often get the same frustrating results in our relationships that we find when we don't read the instructions before installing a computer or using a new appliance. HOW TO MAKE LOVE WORK is the must-read owner's manual for anyone looking for answers and lasting love! This complete guide to assembly, maintenance, accessories, tech support, and troubleshooting offers practical biblical principles, equipping you with tools for transforming your relationships and challenging you to try new approaches to old problems. So jump in! If you're willing to do the work, you'll find love working for you.
Customer Reviews:
Great guide for love from dating to marriage.......2007-07-09
How to Make Love Work by Michelle McKinney Hammond is a fun, enjoyable book about love from dating all the way through marriage. It's written tongue-in-cheek as a technical manual, so there are references to the Manufacturer (God) and the Manufacturer's Manual (Bible) along with other humorous tidbits throughout the book. But for its fun writing style, the book is filled with fantastic tips on how to improve your relationships. Hammond starts with getting yourself right before entering into a relationship, moves on to how to pick the right Man, continues through engagement and the wedding and finally into marriage. The tips for dating are on the money, but as a married woman, I especially enjoyed the sections on marriage. She uses the gifts of the spirit from Galatians and the Love guide from 1 Corinthians 13 to detail how each person needs to be in a relationship for it to work. The book is geared toward women, but there is a lot that a man could benefit from reading as well. I've been memorizing several of the verses she included, and I've been using the tips as well. Occasionally the humorous "manual" speak falls a little flat, but that's a small point on an otherwise fabulous book. Hammond has an enormous amount of wisdom to share, and this book exemplifies it. I'm giving this book to an engaged friend of mine to read next.
Book Description
In this groundbreaking book by
Carol Ritberger, you’ll discover the important role that personality plays in how we define love, what love means to us, and why the expression of love can be so different that it frequently leaves us asking, “How can relationships work at all?”
This book will help you understand that just because you and your mate see things differently doesn’t mean that one is right and the other wrong. It will give you suggestions, helpful hints, and do’s and don’ts to help you create and sustain a mutually satisfying relationship—one where each person gets their love needs met without feeling compromised.
The best reason for reading this book is that it will help you understand that when it comes to LOVE . . . personality has everything to do with it.
Customer Reviews:
Fun and Informative.......2006-07-10
My fianace and I had a blast reading this book together. It's surprisingly accurate, fun, interesting and a good tool to help get to know someone. I learned some things I didn't already know about my fiance, as did he about myself.
I'd definitely recommend this book for anyone who enjoys these sort of books and for those who genuinly find interest in reading about themselves and others. This book features good tips on dealing with others that are different from yourself. It's also quite in depth (about 5-7 pages for each "color personality") and can be quite helpful in a relationship.
Book Description
Powerful, yet fun to read, this book shows how you can win at the game of love and money. It's filled with proven principles of money management and provides you with practical step-by-step tools to uncover the deeper, often hidden meanings of money and conquer the problems it raises in your relationship. And, it's from a male and female perspective!
Customer Reviews:
Healed our house!.......2003-01-04
This book was so informative and fun!My co-partner and I could not seem to figure out who pays for what, so I made him read the book with me!! Now we have our bank accounts in order and are saving for a house. I recommend this for my single friends too!
Customer Reviews:
Dance of Love.......2007-04-15
Ellen Clephane talks frankly to 50 couples who, from their own experience, offer valuable insights into what makes a loving and fufilling relationship. These insights are woven with examples from her own marriage and stories from her clients' relationships. This book covers a huge variety of issues, including:
* speaking the truth
* sexuality and intimacy
* humor and play
* spirituality and purpose
* respecting individuality
* appreciating each other
--- from book's back cover
Average customer rating:
- What Makes A marriage Work
- An easy to read, delightful ,and inspiring book
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What Makes A Marriage Work
Malcolm Mahr
Manufacturer: Durban House
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philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
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Book Description
A collection of fifty insights to help couples navigate the turbulent sea of matrimony. Featuring 34 New Yorker cartoons of wit and wisdom.
Customer Reviews:
What Makes A marriage Work.......2006-07-02
What Makes a Marriage Work is very funny but also insightful.
I read it once just looking at the New Yorker cartoons then I read it cover to cover. A great gift for an anniversary or
wedding shower. As the author of several books about family issues - including the suicide of my seventeen year old son -
it's nice to read about a relationship that has survived for fifty years and one that produces humor, as well as love.
Susan White-Bowden author EVERTHING TO LIVE FOR and other books.
An easy to read, delightful ,and inspiring book.......2004-10-13
I found this book to be inspiring, funny and full of good information on how to not only survive, but thrive while involved in a long term relationship. The authors tells it like it is, from the perspective of someone who has been married for over 50 years. Whatever your marital situation, this book will give you valuable insight.
Harvey Deutschendorf
Edmonton, Alberta CANADA
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