Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Second Edition)

Book Description

Arguing with your spouse about the checkbook? The in-laws? Kids' schedules? Couples think they fight about money, family issues, and time. But what are these conflicts really about? Family therapists Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul reveal how couple discord is often rooted in self-protection. Here, in their best-selling book, they help couples work through fears and false beliefs that block expression of loving feelings. The result? A freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationship.

Customer Reviews:

Good book!.......2006-03-02

Great book. I am still reading and learning! Quick delivery and arrived in great shape!

THIS BOOK "SAVED MY MARRIAGE".......2004-04-02

There are three of you in a marriage. YOU, ME and US. All three need to be happy. This book can get you there. It saved our marriage.

A profound, important, and implication-rich book.......2002-02-07

For me this book is one of the most profound and important books I have ever read about relationships and communication. Although it is written as a book about marital relationships, it has implications for every kind of relationship, and not only intimate or dyadic ones. And, although it is written as a pop psychology book, I think it makes a real contribution to the social-scientific understanding of relationships and communication -- that is, it stands up well as a general model of communication and relationship. I think it is a great book and would be of great value not only to those trying to solve relationship problems but to those wanting to understand the ways in which self and relationship are intertwined in general. It illuminates all of the areas of one's life in which one communicates with others and, as another reader said, can be as valuable for understanding past relationships as for dealing with present ones.

Excellent, excellent book........2002-01-29

This book has really come to the rescue in my life. I am 24 and my partner 21. We've been together 8 months and started having conflicts after moving in together about 2 months ago. After a big fight one day, she brought this book home and we agreed to read it together every day.

Since then, there's been a massive change for us. A difficult change too, but so worthwhile. Margie and Jordan are really great people, and they make the book funny, informative and loving, but strong enough to shake you up. It's just so great... learning to learn is difficult, but ultimately incredibly rewarding. 1000 stars!

Buy this book!.......2000-09-23

If you are having conflicts in your relationship, I cannot recommend a better book for helping understand your own reactions to your partner's behavior. This book shed enormous light on my relationship. That relationship ultimately fell apart, but this book helped me to understand why.

Average customer rating:

Daughters Favorite book
The best book ever!!
A blast from my past!
Margaret and God
Natalie's Reveiw

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret
Judy Blume
Manufacturer: Yearling
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Ages 4-8 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

General | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Being a Teen | Social Issues | Teens | Subjects | Books

Look Inside Children's Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books

Look Inside Teen Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books

Ages 9-12 | Children's Books | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0440404193
Release Date: 1986-06-01

Amazon.com

If anyone tried to determine the most common rite of passage for preteen girls in North America, a girl's first reading of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret would rank near the top of the list. Judy Blume and her character Margaret Simon were the first to say out loud (and in a book even) that it is normal for girls to wonder when they are ever going to fill out their training bras. Puberty is a curious and annoying time. Girls' bodies begin to do freakish things--or, as in Margaret's case, they don't do freakish things nearly as fast as girls wish they would. Adolescents are often so relieved to discover that someone understands their body-angst that they miss one of the book's deeper explorations: a young person's relationship with God. Margaret has a very private relationship with God, and it's only after she moves to New Jersey and hangs out with a new friend that she discovers that it might be weird to talk to God without a priest or a rabbi to mediate. Margaret just wants to fit in! Who is God, and where is He when she needs Him? She begins to look into the cups of her training bra for answers ...

Book Description

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

No one ever told Margaret Simon that eleven-going-on- twelve would be such a hard age. When her family moves to New Jersey, she has to adjust to life in the suburbs, a different school, and a whole new group of friends. Margaret knows she needs someone to talk to about growing up-and it's not long before she's found a solution.

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. I can't wait until two o'clock God. That's when our dance starts. Do you think I'll get Philip Leroy for a partner? It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome. And I'd love to dance with him... just once or twice. Thank you God.

Customer Reviews:

Daughters Favorite book.......2007-09-12

My daughter requested this book. She loves it so much, that she has read it a couple of times!

The best book ever!!.......2007-05-18

In the book, Are You There God? It's Me Margaret. Judy Blume has created another fascinating story. It starts out taking place in a small New York apartment, but then Margaret finds out she's moving to Long Island, New Jersey.

When she moves she meets Nancy, Janie, and Gretchen and she is asked to join their secret club that they must not tell anyone about. In this club there are a few "rules" that you must follow for example you must wear a bra to every meeting, you have to keep a list of the boys you like in a book, and tell each other everything about you. The girls ask Margaret about her religion, but since her mom is a Christian and her dad is Jewish, she tells them she doesn't have one and gets to choose for herself when she is older if she wants to of course. On the first day of school her teacher asked them to answer some questions from off the black board. She answers them and then the next day her teacher asks her why she hates religious holidays, then she has to explain the story all over. Is the club something she should be doing? Does she follow the clubs rules? Does she pick a religion? I guess that's for you to find out.

This is and amazing book. It shares the problems that teenage girls face in their every day lives, for example bras, kissing boys, right up to getting their periods.

The girls make going through all these changes hysterical. There view on everything makes them seem more real to girls everywhere. Most of the girls that have read this book that I know have been through or are going through the things talked about in the book. There for girls can really relate to the characters in this book. Most of all I can relate to Margaret, because she sometimes wishes for things she wants that she doesn't have and sometimes I wish for things like that too.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this book. I wanted to read it over when I finished it. It is full of humor and will make you laugh out loud. At the end of every chapter I just wanted to keep on reading. It's an amazing book and I encourage every pre-teen to teenage girl to read it.
Pre-teen to teenage girls should read this book because most of them will understand what it's talking about. I don't think guys would like to read this book very much, because I like said it talks about the problems girls face. I give this book two thumbs up!

Does Margaret follow the rules for the secret club? Does she figure out her religion? Find out when you read the fun and exciting book Are You There God? It's Me Margaret. Just don't let your brother get his hands on this book.

--Jordyn

A blast from my past!.......2007-04-13

This book was my favorite in elementary school! It speaks of all of the unspoken questions in a young girls mind. Super! Timeless!

Margaret and God.......2007-03-28

This book was very good. I would recommend this book, because it was interesting. It was interesting because it taught me a lot about what I will go through. I think my little cousin, that is nine, would enjoy reading this book. She is a girly girl and would enjoy this book and do what they do. Her name is Jennifer. I would like to read another book by Judy Blume. I think I would read the Ramona books. I would read them because; they show what to do and not to do in life. Her writing style is very good. I understand what she is saying. I like how Judy Blume writes from the main characters point of view.

Natalie's Reveiw.......2007-01-30

(........)

Are you their god? It's me Margaret by Judy bloom is about Margaret Simon a girl with no religion and is moving so I guess you could say no friends. Don't worry when Margaret get to her new home one girl on her new block comes over in her bathing suit to ask if she wants to play. Since Margaret meets Nancy over the summer Nancy tells Margaret to wear no socks with loafers so she can join her club. Of course the girls let her join the club PTS's (pre-teen sensations). In their club they talk about boys, bras, and getting their first periods. Nancy, Janie, Gretchen can't believe Margaret doesn't have a religion because her mother is catholic and her father is Jewish. Margaret's parents said that she can choose when she gets old enough but Margaret doesn't want to wait. So on the first day of school her teacher said they have a yearlong project to write about any thing they want. This is Margaret's chance to choose the religion she wants so she goes to the temple with her grandma and church with Janie.

Margaret was very excited she got her period. When she got it she was excited she got it right before she was going to summer camp she called her mother showed her mother her underpants and her mother ran to get a box of teenage softies and her mother started to explain how to do it and then Margaret told her mother she has been practicing. She was now becoming a woman.

Margaret lives in present time and moved to New Jersey because her parents wanted to have a backyard instead of having an apartment in New York. I think that the lesson in Are you their god? It's me, Margaret. Is their isn't always one choice there's is a bunch. As in Margaret has two religions and doesn't know which one to choose there isn't always one choice there's a bunch.

Are you their god? It's me Margaret. Is an excellent book and is a great book for any 9-13 year old girls. This is mainly a book for girls. Girls if you have any sense you will pick up Are you there god? It's me Margaret. And never want to put it down!!!

Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Workbook, Second Edition)

Average customer rating:

This book really helps you communicate with your partner
Connecting with your higher self made simple & fast

Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? (Workbook, Second Edition)
Jordan Paul , and Margaret Paul
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Substance Abuse | Recovery | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Marriage | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Conflict Management | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Happiness | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

Accessories:

ASIN: 1568387970

Book Description

A companion to the best-selling book of the same title, this popular, newly revised workbook helps couples create a deeply satisfying, more intimate relationship. Focusing on the ever-present dynamic of conflict-and the process of working through it-the authors guide couples in getting to the root of recurring disagreements and destructive behaviors. Self-assessment exercises and couple activities help readers recognize unloving responses, move past fear, identify self-protective and negative beliefs, break down power struggles, and reach out in forgiveness. The principles outlined in this powerful, easy-to-use workbook have helped thousands of couples and families create more loving relationships. Key features and benefits a proven best-seller highly recommended by marriage therapists includes exercises for couples to explore core beliefs and values

Customer Reviews:

This book really helps you communicate with your partner.......2007-03-12

There is no perfect answer to conflict in relationships...but this is a very good system for looking deeper and getting honest about what the underlying problems could be.

Connecting with your higher self made simple & fast.......2001-08-20

BUY IT FIRST !!! OK, probably like you, I have bookshelves full of books that I thought would help me identify my issues/self limiting beliefs, understand where they came from and deal with them. This of course comes after giving up on stockpiling books about how to change others to get what you want. Finally you realize YOU need to give YOU what you want to be happy, but how? By page 30 of this EASY TO READ book, the essential ideas of tons of other books on the subject have been covered, simply and QUICKLY. It's like someone plowed through all the available info on the subject, distilled it for people with short attention spans and leads you simply and quickly to the points that you need to get, speaking directly and understandably to you. Written by husband/wife team who discuss very openly what their issues were in getting to the place we all want to get to (Part 1). Part 2 is how to inventory and deal with your own stuff. I could have saved a ton of money, frustration and time, had I bought this one first. Think I'll take their seminar as well, regardless of location or cost. These folks have it nailed and have made it as easy as it's going to get. If you are tired of [working with] this stuff, getting a little here and a little there and just want to finally get it done, then I highly recommend this book. Get this, the WORKBOOK version... that is if you are ready to DO your work and quit reading up on it.

Average customer rating:

weird
it will stick with your forever!
Not enough stars
The ultimate existential novel of our time
Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me

Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me
Javier Marias
Manufacturer: Harcourt
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Spanish | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 0151002762

Book Description

From "the most subtle and gifted writer in contemporary Spanish literature" (Boston Globe), a riveting novel of infidelity and a man trapped by a terrible secret: now for the first time in paperback.

"No one ever suspects," begins Tomorrow in the Battle Think On Me, "that they might one day find themselves with a dead woman in their arms...."

Marta has just met Víctor when she invites him to dinner at her Madrid apartment while her husband is away on business. When her two-year-old son finally falls asleep, Marta and Víctor retreat to the bedroom. Undressing, she feels suddenly ill; and in his arms, inexplicably, she dies.What should Víctor do? Remove the compromising tape from the phone machine? Leave food for the child, for breakfast? These are just his first steps, but he soon takes matters further; unable to bear the shadows and the unknowing, Víctor plunges into dark waters. And Javier Marías, Europe's master of secrets, of what lies reveal and truth may conceal, is on sure ground in this profound, quirky, and marvelous novel. "Brilliantly imagined and hugely intricate," as La Vanguardia noted, "it is a novel one reads with enormous pleasure."

Customer Reviews:

weird.......2006-07-25

the first half i kept wishing i could give it up, but couldnt quite quit. the second half got quite good. strange book, different style

it will stick with your forever!.......2002-05-27

I read this book because of the title. The author tells us a story about death and unexpected moments in life. After I read this book I've found myself thinking "tomorrow in the battle think on me" very often! Also this book changed my views on death, on dealing with it, and what happens to those left behind after someone's gone.
Great book about thoughts and ideas not so much about events.

Not enough stars.......2001-06-12

At the beginning i thought this book was difficult to follow, and even a bit boring. My first impression is that the author was abusing the 'stream of consciousness' technique, just lost in his thoughts. But i continued reading and soon realized that there was a reason to the apparent 'madness'. This book is a concert of thoughts, all centered in a common point. The tangents or stories in the periphery were designed so skillfully that they complement the story without seeming superfluous: Ruibérriz, Celia/Victoria, el Único, all well defined and colorful characters, and the literary quotes mixed in with the text, the movie scenes, all contributing to enhance a plot already captivating. The main character struggles between decisions already taken or assumed, and the dialogs he has with himself are among the best i have read in Spanish literature in a long time.

The ending is unforeseen. When i thought i knew how things were developing, at the last moment i was surprised. Life can be so ironic, and laugh so much at our expense (or at Deán's expense, in this case).

The additional notes (another surprise i did not discover till the end) are very interesting, and if i had any doubts about the exceptional writer that Javier Marías is, i lost them completely after reading them. This novel cannot be missed.

The ultimate existential novel of our time.......2001-03-21

A unique and haunting novel -- its words and ideas have stayed with me for months after completing it. Its thoughts have stimulated many philosophical discussions. It uses fiction to elaborate the questions of personal and subjective time, and the meaning of the intersubjective space. I regret I can read it only in translation. Nonetheless, the author's voice is unique and inquiring, and I can only imagine the recognition he will get in the future.

Tomorrow in the Battle Think on Me.......1999-12-14

"Nadie piensa nunca que pueda ir a encontrarse con una muerta entre los brazos y que ya no verá más su rostro cuyo nombre recuerda." De principio a fin, la lectura de esta novela es fascinante. Con Marías se inaugura una nueva era en la narrativa contemporánea: va hilando hechos, pensamientos, diálogos, en un torbellino de palabras que brotan tal y como se las piensa. Reflexiones sobre la muerte y la vida, tratados de un magistral e irónico modo. Contenido y forma se funden en una espectacular obra. Aún joven, Javier Marías es ya candidato al Premio Nobel de Literatura.

Do I Have To Give Up ME to be Loved by GOD?

Average customer rating:

Six Steps in Search of Self
A Blueprint for Transformation
A Blueprint for Transformation
A Blueprint for Transformation
Tools to Turn Your Life Around, Batteries Included!

Do I Have To Give Up ME to be Loved by GOD?
Margaret Paul , and Neale Donald Walsch
Manufacturer: Health Communications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

General | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

Inspirational | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Look Inside Parenting Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books

Look Inside Religion & Spirituality Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 1558746978

Book Description

This groundbreaking book provides the missing link in the long and frustrating search for inner peace, joy and fulfillment. Readers who have come out of recovery, undergone therapy or tried other methods of self-help and self-development--yet still feel that something is missing--will find the answers they seek in this volume. Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God? offers the much-needed path that shows readers how to move out of the earthly perspective and into the spiritual perspective--out of fear and into love, out of the need to control and into trust. It is the path that will teach readers how to live in truth, how to love themselves and others, and how to connect deeply with God so that they can embrace the infinite gifts and blessings of being alive.

The book includes many anecdotes and case histories from the author's twenty-six-year career as a psychologist, as well as from her personal experiences of direct contact with God. In a clear and easy-to-read style, it presents a simple six-step process that will lead to soul evolution: being willing to face our fears, feel our pain and take responsibility for our feelings; choosing to learn by inviting spiritual guidance into our hearts and releasing our personal will to God's will; dialoguing with our wounded inner child, exploring our fears, our false beliefs and the resulting behaviors that are causing our pain; dialoguing with God to discover the truth and the loving actions we should take toward our inner child and others; taking the loving action inspired by God; evaluating that action.

This innovative process will show readers how to access spiritual guidance, how to change false beliefs rapidly and heal shame, how to quickly move beyond judgment and into compassion, and how to attain what they really want by recognizing and breaking through the "Resistance Syndrome" that keeps us all "stuck." Moreover, the process will teach readers how to discard the earthly perspective and live from the spiritual perspective by replacing earthly love (focused on "getting") with spiritual love (focused on "giving"), and by learning the difference between earthly power (power over others) and spiritual power (the inner power to manifest one's dreams). This information is powerful and life changing because it is not just cognitive. It has emerged from the author's own inner work and from her work with her clients. Because it comes directly from her own experiences with spiritual guidance, readers will find it remarkably and enduringly transformative. Readers will learn to discard false beliefs like: "God doesn't exist," "God exists, but not for me," "I can never be good enough to please God" and "I have to give up myself, change who I really am and surrender my personal freedom to be loved by God." Instead, readers will discover that the true key to self-actualization, success, inner peace, joy and fulfillment--whether in their careers, relationships or inner lives--is the recognition that we each need to accept and embrace God's unconditional love for every being.

Customer Reviews:

Six Steps in Search of Self.......2000-01-26

Dr. Paul's illuminating new book, DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP ME TO BE LOVED BY GOD? looks at the disconnection we feel within and with others as a result of (in the broadest sense) "spiritual abuse" that we have suffered. As Dr. Paul says, "Giving children anything other than love and compassion is spiritual abuse because all unloving behavior toward children creates an ongoing problem in their relationship with God. Any behavior that teaches children that they must be different (smarter, more polite, more obedient) IN ORDER TO BE LOVED [emphasis mine] by God -- or by their parents -- is spiritual abuse. Any behavior by an adult which disconnects a child from God is spiritual abuse. And any behavior that undermines a child's belief in God as an infinite source of love and compassion and wisdom that is always available to that child is spiritual abuse" (p.18). I particularly liked learning more about the false beliefs we have about God and our relationship with whatever term we each use to name our Higher Power. The Inner Bonding definition of loving intrigues me: Loving behavior is that which contributes to our own and others' spiritual and emotional growth. Often, what looks loving is just codependent, and in our addictive society, much confusion results when we act out the belief that if others really loved us, they would do what we want. If you read this book, you will learn about a new way of looking at behavior -- not in terms of judgment (a major controlling device of many religions) -- but in terms of the good reasons that parts of us have for our behavior. Life, according to Dr. Paul, is a journey about learning and loving for everyone, not about hellfire and damnation and the chosen. I know that just about every person on a journey thinks that s/he has just the right tools and resources for healing and personal empowerment, but in my experience there are few, if any, approaches and processes that are as encompassing, simple yet profound, practical, and portable as the Inner Bonding process. DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP ME TO BE LOVED BY GOD? builds on Dr. Paul's other 6 books that have so much to teach about one's relationship with self, others, and Spirit. Yes, there are many books and people and therapies and techniques out there promising us love, success, happiness, etc., but my whole world -- self, family, friends, career, spirituality -- is different because one of Dr. Paul's books literally dropped in my path 8 years ago. We live in times that are often filled with much conflict and pain, but also have so much potential for soul growth with new ways of learning to bring the best of ourselves to ourselves, to others, to the planet. Margaret Paul's work is a powerful tool for transformation. You owe it to yourself to read this book!

A Blueprint for Transformation.......2000-01-24

Dr. Margaret Paul's latest book provides a blueprint for integrating spirituality into daily life. Unlike many other self-help books, Do I Have to Give up Me to Be Loved by God? takes on the deeper and more challenging questions that speak to the attachment to old patterns and resistance to change that so often prevents genuine transformation. Dr. Paul provides the reader with practical tools, offered in a step-by-step process that is designed to neutralize the negative conditioning that blocks the ability to access spiritual connection. She offers a model that if conscientiously followed will lead not only to the kind of self-acceptance that is the goal of psychotherapy, but to the deep and profound spiritual connection that is the goal of all religions.

A Blueprint for Transformation.......2000-01-24

Tools to Turn Your Life Around, Batteries Included!.......2000-01-13

I have been using Margaret Paul's tools consistently for over 9 years. If you have parts of your life that you want to change, you can choose to use this simple set of tools every day and change your life profoundly, often faster than you could have imagined.The tools are simple enough that you can teach children how to do them. Yet powerful enough that unwanted patterns that have persisted for a lifetime can lose their power and go away.

The other thing that comes with using these tools is, that by implementing the connection process, one seems to be able to draw on deep, limitless power. I know of no other process that brings the same sense of innate strength that helps you persist and carry out the tasks that need to be done to transform your life. Thus batteries are included.

What will make the difference here, is whether you can make a time every day to work the six simple steps Margaret presents. It doesn't take a lot of time. It takes consistency and growing an awareness to know when it's time to use the simple tools. Once you get the basics down, it's something you can do driving in your car, waiting in line at the grocery store, or lying in bed at night before you go to sleep. For me it's become as natural as eating and breathing. Her latest book ties together all her earlier works and focuses on the spiritual dimensions of this connection process. One does not have to believe in God to do this work, or FOR IT TO WORK. I can guarantee that. I've seen many people use the tools without focusing on the spiritual aspects. I can also tell you that if you value or seek a realtionship with God/a Higher Power, this connection process will greatly enhance that relationship. Personally, as I have been able to work with and deepen the connection process, I have directly experienced God to a greater and greater extent in my everyday life.

Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God is a beautiful work for those that want to heal the parts of their lives that hurt. For those that want to take that a step further and reap the spiritual rewards of this connection process, this book is a wonderful guide.

For those familiar with Dr. Paul's work, this book takes it deeper. I had wonderful Aha's, as the lightbulbs turned on deep in my being. This book describes the tools, that if practiced with consistency, can be the best gift you ever give yourself!

Average customer rating:

A Truly Unforgettable and Touching Love Story

Dont miss this book!

Buy This Book

Walking the Tightrope

Sing Me to Heaven: The Story of a Marriage
Margaret Kim Peterson
Manufacturer: Brazos Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books
Religious | Leaders & Notable People | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books
Memoirs | Biographies & Memoirs | Subjects | Books
AIDS | Disorders & Diseases | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Christian Living | Christianity | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
General | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
Look Inside Health Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books
Look Inside Religion & Spirituality Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books
Similar Items:

Taught by America: A Story of Struggle and Hope in Compton

An Uncommon Correspondence: An East-West Conversation on Frienship, Intimacy and Love

But Lord, I Was Happy Shallow: Lessons Learned in the Deep Places

God in the Alley: Being and Seeing Jesus in a Broken World

The Hospital by the River: A Story of Hope

ASIN: 1587430479

Customer Reviews:

A Truly Unforgettable and Touching Love Story.......2004-02-29

Falling in love with Hyung Goo Kim was the best and worst thing that ever happened to Margaret Kim Peterson. In her recently published memoir SING ME TO HEAVEN: The Story of a Marriage, Peterson does an exquisite job of explaining how both were true.

The short explanation is to say that Hyung Goo was HIV-positive. This revelation while the couple was dating threatened to dissolve their burgeoning romance for reasons that are all-too-obvious. But it was a combination of not-so-obvious reasons that ultimately brought the two together in marriage.

"I wanted so desperately to know and be known, to love and be loved, and I had never met anyone with whom that seemed like the remotest possibility. I could sense that possibility already welling around the two of us. To have said to him at that point, 'I'm sorry; would you please go away' would have felt like cutting off my arm. I just couldn't do it."

Hyung Goo's HIV-positive status accounts for the worst part of falling in love with him. With heartbreaking detail, Peterson recounts their collective descent into the hell of hospitals and medicines and painful physical deterioration when Hyung Goo officially contracted AIDS and he began his halting march towards death. This aspect of the story alone is an incredibly valuable inside look at the real work of dying with a terminal illness.

But HIV also plays an unexpectedly large role in the best part of falling in love with Hyung Goo:

"We began to see only gradually and toward the end of Hyung Goo's life the ways in which the present and anticipated grief of our marriage had contributed to the richness of our life together. The sorrows of our life had not simply detracted from our happiness, but had shaped and even contributed to that happiness. In the Spring of 1995, it was becoming clear that Hyung Goo was not going to live much longer --- maybe a year, probably less. In the midst of his worsening illness, he and I were coping together in much more cooperative and mutually supportive ways than in former days. 'It really is remarkable how far you two have come in just four years,' Martha commented to me.

She was right; but I wanted more. Where might we have been in ten years, if we had them?

'It's fruitless to ask that question,' Martha said. 'If you had ever thought you had that kind of time, you wouldn't be where you are now.'

It was impossible to see AIDS itself as good. But it was equally impossible to see that the particular good Hyung Goo and I had experienced together in the midst of AIDS could have been obtained in any other way. The requiem that we stand for one another and with one another was not something external to our marriage, like a piece of black crape draped over the frame of an otherwise sunny and cheerful picture. Our individual and shared sorrows were part of the picture itself, shadows without which the picture and its characteristic beauty would have been, if not gone, than at least altered beyond recognition."

Peterson's narrative provides an intimate and moving look at a marriage in which the looming specter of death brings present joy, love and sustaining faith into sharp relief. The couple ate dinner off their fine china every day at a table cluttered with hundreds, if not thousands, of pills and medicine bottles, reminding them why the special plates shouldn't be reserved for future occasions.

Listening to the Margaret of today reflect upon the Margaret of yesterday, it is clear Hyung Goo left her with the invaluable gift of an inculcated sense of self and stability. Indeed, the deeply therapeutic nature of this marriage is one of its most notable aspects:

"We were both looking for a love affair when we began our courtship. We wanted affection and companionship and romance and we got them; but we got something far deeper and more transformative as well ... Like Max in WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, Hyung Goo wanted most just to be where someone loved him best of all. In our marriage he found that place. I couldn't have loved him more if there had been ten of me. And the more I loved him, and the more I relaxed into his love for me, the more worthwhile and competent he felt; until in the last year of his life he had settled into a confident, gentle, joyful, sense of himself as a man and as a husband."

There are love stories and then there are love stories. The former are as pleasant as they are predictable and they tend to be thoroughly forgettable. The latter earn their italics with uniquely honest depictions of the predicament of being in love. These tales have the ability to transcend their specifics to address larger issues of what it means to be human, and they have the uncanny ability to take up residence in the mind (and heart) of their readers. SING ME TO HEAVEN is a love story with italics.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

Dont miss this book!.......2003-12-01

In a time when marriage and commitment are seen as temporary, optional, and convenience driven, Margaret Kim Peterson's insights into her own marriage seem particularly valuable. The issue of AIDS, and our response to the disease and the individuals afflicted with it also raises many important points. This is a must read, you will be affected by this book!

Buy This Book.......2003-10-30

Thank you, Margaret Kim Peterson, for sharing your own very special true story. Your writing style is brilliant and deserving of praise. I was captivated from the beginning.

Sing Me To Heaven, the Story of a Marriage, is the perfect title. It is a unique story written by an obviously gifted author who, in an intelligent and sincere way, details her memories of shared times and solitary times during her marriage to a fine young man who had the misfortune to be HIV positive.

I find the book to be thought provoking. Read it as I did, with an open mind, and you'll see.

Walking the Tightrope.......2003-09-06

OK, so I'm not a first time reader of "Sing Me to Heaven." I am a colleague of Margaret Peterson's (English Department) who got to read this wonderful book chapter by chapter as it came out of her computer. I loved it then; I love it now.

In this book -- about AIDS, about marriage, about faith in hard places (war zones, if you will) -- Margaret has been self-disclosing, without ever becoming narcissistic; she has been technical, without ever being tedious (I loved the information she gave me about AIDS and its treatments.); she has been deeply moving, without ever becoming sentimental; she has been critical, without ever becoming spiteful. She has been funny, lyrical, tragic, cynical, hopeful -- all without excess.

How has she done that?!

You will love the book if you are a poet -- pay particular attention to the "Land and Sea" reflections. You will love the book if you are a scientist -- pay particular attention to MP's descriptions of drugs and effects. You will love the book if you are a musician -- type "Sing Me to Heaven" into a good search engine and listen to an online rendering of the title song. You will love the book if you are an honest Christian -- pay particular attention to the chapter on the rhetoric of AIDS and the one on the "healing" service. You will love the book if you are in love -- pay attention to the entire work.

Margaret Peterson has walked multiple tightropes in this book, including that between the past and the future. Loving Hyung Goo has not kept her from loving Dwight Peterson; loving Dwight has not made her forget Hyung Goo.

Book Description

Full color photographs. "Hello, Stranger-Friend" begins Maya Angelou's story about Thandi, a South African Ndebele girl, her mischievous brother, her beloved chicken, and the astonishing mural art produced by the women of her tribe. With never-before-seen photographs of the very private Ndebele women and their paintings, this unique book shows the passing of traditions from parent to child and introduces young readers to a new culture through a new friend.

Customer Reviews:

My Painted house, my friend chicken,and me.......2006-07-04

Reading this book my daugther(6yrs.) and I enjoyed a special moment learning about how beautiful are the simple things. And gave us the oportunity to learn how easy is to celebrate life and love.
The most important lesson of all is to be proud of what we love and care.

Anthopology for Children.......2002-11-04

I am a senior in college, and an elementary education major with a minor in anthropology- when I found this book, I was estatic. Its beautiful photography is greatly complimented with Maya Angelou's flowing words. Humor, color, and the similarities with the Ndebele girl (Thandi, which means hope) are sure to attract children. They will learn that even though Thandi is across the world, all children share many similaries- a lesson that should be remembered, especially in modern times. I will definately use this in my classroom someday. Never have I seen such a great childrens book that is infused with anthropology and the study of a culture!

Shows the pure heart of a child.......2000-03-22

I bought this book today and read it with my 10 year old niece. It has exceptionally beautiful photographs of the Ndebele people. It is a story that reminds us that the simple things in life are the most precious. Thandi tells the story of her people and family and her best friend, a chicken. She is a proud and pure hearted child that shares the culture of the Ndebele people with us. This is a lovely story that is a fun, educational, easy to read one that made me feel young at heart again. I'll be needing an additional copy to share with my grandaughter.

Outstanding children's story!.......1997-12-14

As a reading tutor, I have enjoyed sharing this book with my 4th grade students. It examins the differences of people, our different cultures, and is a colorful and enchanting story. My kids, both boys and girls are facinated by this book, and we always continue a dialogue with it. The recognize the author, as one their parents respect, and enjoy talking about it and laughing about the silly chicken.We have talked about trying to paint houses with a chicken feather, and may jsut try to do this during black history month! I adore this book!

Kiss Me Goodnight: Stories And Poems By Women Who Were Girls When Their Mothers Died

Average customer rating:

Powerful words, powerful book!
We Need More Beautiful Places to Grieve
a ver y healing book
All will be touched by these stories
Moving, Eloquent and Accessible

Kiss Me Goodnight: Stories And Poems By Women Who Were Girls When Their Mothers Died

Manufacturer: Syren Book Company
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Grief & Bereavement | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Literary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

Child Care | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Look Inside Parenting Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books
Similar Items:

Accessories:

ASIN: 0929636333
Release Date: 2005-02-01

Product Description

Losing your mother when very young is a devastating experience. The authors featured in Kiss Me Goodnight recall the lost moments they shared with their mothers, exploring their feelings, longings, and how they have learned to cope with loss through their adult lives. Unlike other books on motherlessness, KMG reveals the experience through stories, poems, and essays giving an intimate and highly personal view of mother loss. These women are courageous. They write vivid and haunting descriptions of the cancer, suicide, alcoholism, accidents, Nazis, and other agents of death that killed their mothers. They also capture the sweet memories of their mothers -- the color and smell of their clothes, the taste of the food they prepared, the light on their faces, the texture of their hair, and the memory of their kisses. Kiss Me Goodnight includes a collection of 25 short stories and essays and 72 poems written by 52 authors. Their work was chosen by a panel of reviewers who read hundreds of submissions from all over the United States - submissions that came from one tiny ad in a national poetry magazine.The majority of these women, who range in age from 15 to 80-plus, are published poets and short story writers. The works are presented in alphabetical order by last name of author and are interspersed with photographic images of some of the authors with their mothers.

Customer Reviews:

Powerful words, powerful book!.......2005-10-27

Get out a new hanky or get the tissue box ready. You'll need it!

In Kiss Me Good Night the editors compiled stories from 47 women who recall their mother's death (if they remember) or how they feel now.

The women, through prose or poetry, tell about their mothers and how certain sounds, smells, tastes and things like seeing a purse (like their mother had) trigger strong emotions of loss and longing--and remembrance.

This unique sisterhood opened their hearts and souls to us, and make us appreciate our mom more--if she's alive, or relieved we were not a young child when she left this earth.

Many women are from an era when people did not talk about death or dying to children, and that left them confused. Many times when the mother died, young children were dispersed to relatives, raised apart, because the father could not work and cope with raising children alone.

Who do you talk to? How do you understand?

Missing their mothers as mom and role model and feeling the loss of her nurturing, these women found that talking to others, even all these years later, was therapeutic. And writing allowed them to help many others.

My most lasting word image is one woman looking through a photo album of a mom she vaguely remembers and seeing a "Kodachrome vitality." Maybe that's a reminder to us to keep family pictures updated to capture our own vitality.

Armchair Interviews says: Powerful, powerful words and the emotions they bring. Kiss Me Goodnight is for those women who have already lost their mother--and those who cannot even bear to think about that happening to them.

We Need More Beautiful Places to Grieve.......2005-09-27

I have vastly enjoyed this book of writings and poems by those who have
lost their mother. It moved me to tears and then to an urgent sense that
I must share this book. We need more beautiful places to grieve our
losses. Becoming whole is a life's work, and grieving fully and sharing
stories that break the spell is part of the process. "Kiss Me Goodnight"
gives one a haven to do so and serves this sacred process."
Marilyn Zimmerman, Associate Professor, Dept. of Art and Art History,
Wayne State University, photography/installation/performance artist
and curator

a ver y healing book.......2005-07-01

For anyone who has experienced the loss of their mother at a young age -- a very important reminder that grief is not always a bad thing...

All will be touched by these stories.......2005-06-29

This book is a touching collection of poetry and personal stories that will move any reader. Through these women's specific stories, we get to our own personal feelings; the feelings are universal. Although my mother lived till she was 96, I can relate to the depth of emotion expressed by the writers, the poignancy of their observations, the sweetness or anger or loneliness of their images. A non-Catholic, I am deeply moved by Ann Murphy O'Fallon's essay, "Lilacs." She tells how it was when she was nine and the priest came to give her mother Extreme Unction, and they had to dress up for him. Her 13-year-old sister tells her, "It's because she is dying, don't you know anything?" Joanne Kelley ends her poem, "Missing," with the lines, "Imagine a winter so hard that no birds survive and nothing moves in the ice." Cindy Washabaugh writes in her poem, "For Pam, Who Can't Remember," "Grandma stood at the stove crying in the same small voice she laughed in, making Campbell's soup for everyone at 8:45 in the morning because, she said, soup makes you feel better."

Moving, Eloquent and Accessible.......2005-06-20

Such a brave and often amazing collection--in these never sentimental, always eloquent poems and essays, daughters tell it like it is to have lost the most important person in your young life. And I'm grateful that before each writer speaks, the editors tell me in what way and how old the daughter was when her mother died. In a perfect world, a mother should live long enough to be a comfort and then a vexation and ultimately the wise (or unwise) woman she always was. These women had to make that journey all by themselves. It is a privilege to hear how they did it.

Still Here With Me: Teenagers And Children on Losing a Parent

Average customer rating:

Still Here With Me: Teenagers And Children on Losing a Parent

Manufacturer: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Grief & Bereavement | Death & Grief | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

ASIN: 1843105012

Average customer rating:

A sweet, light hearted european romance
As Mousy as the Heroine
Would like to rate this one higher, but can't
A light, fun, quick read -- 3.5 stars
A quick read, but kind of a fluff piece

Kiss Me Again
Margaret Moore
Manufacturer: Avon
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

General | Romance | Subjects | Books

General | Historical | Romance | Subjects | Books

General | Romance | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books

All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

Accessories:

philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 0060526211
Release Date: 2004-01-27

Book Description

Lady Francessa Cecilia Epping has carried a torch for the Honorable Brixton Smythe–Medway for years, until she discovers that Brix has wagered his friends that he won't marry till he's 50 and he will never, ever marry 'mousy little Fanny Epping'. Francessa makes a counter wager: she'll break his heart in six weeks. She then seals the bet with the most mind–boggling French kiss Brix has ever experienced. Who knew Fanny could kiss like that? Who knew she knew how to kiss like that? Good God, wherever did she learn to kiss like that? Poor Brix! Poor Fanny! They're so busy trying to pretend they don't have any feelings for each other except anger, and yet they keep kissing. Again and again and again.

Customer Reviews:

A sweet, light hearted european romance .......2007-09-04

Overall a light romance story with a silly plot, quirkly characters and a too-good-to-believe ending. There is some cheesy moments where the dialog gets so flowery I had a hard time staying with the book, but overall it kept me entertained. It isn't the type of book I normally like, and for that reason I probably wont read this author again. (I like my romance books hot and steamy, but this story was barely warm.)

As Mousy as the Heroine.......2007-08-21

I'm such a fan of Margaret Moore's that I had a hard time giving this book only 3 stars but that's about all it warranted. For a hero, Brix was badly done. I just couldn't imagine a jokster, a prankster in the role of an irrestible catch. Fanny was as mousy as everyone claimed and I never connected with either character. They reminded me of a couple kids who, since nobody else wanted, ended up together. I read this book on the heels of The Notorious Knight, which MM also wrote and the two were startlingly different. The Notorious Knight was unputdownable and I couldn't wait for this one to end. However, Moore is a wonderful author and I look forward to reading the rest of her work.

Would like to rate this one higher, but can't.......2006-01-08

This book was okay, but not outstanding or even what I'd call very good. Just okay. The 2 main characters, especially the hero, were both pretty naive and he especially made me want to throttle him time & time again.

This book, though, sets the stage for the other "Kiss Me" sequels, that sadly, will probably never be written (one for Drury, one for Buggy, & one for Charles). I would especially like to read Drury's
story, if ever it does get wrote, because of the 5 friends, he was my favorite. Buggy is cute, and Charles we don't know much about, but I wouldn't mind reading their books, either.

A light, fun, quick read -- 3.5 stars.......2005-03-21

I enjoyed this book a good deal despite its somewhat one-note tone and less-than-deep lead characters. I'll agree with another reviewer that Drury is a more intriguing man, but Brix has his moments. I could see him as a good friend, but his joking ways would annoy me for anything else. The real problem here as regards characterization is that Fanny is never shown as a mousy little thing. The first time we see her, she's throwing flames! Moore spend too much time telling instead of showing. And her descriptions tend to become repetitive. Brix's change of heart could have been more convincing. These two are not as clearly defined as Edmond & Diana from Kiss Me Quick.

However, there are excellent moments, many of them between friends and siblings, but also some between the two lovers. And the pacing is very good. The letters from a friend were an interesting way to open chapters, but they tended to keep the focus on Diana rather than on Brix and Fanny.

It's not a terrifically written book, and its leads aren't the best, but the pacing and other elements help lift the quality of the book. Three & 1/2 stars.

A quick read, but kind of a fluff piece.......2004-05-05

Summary: Fanny overhears her childhood friend Brixton state his wager that he won't marry until he's 50 and that it most certainly will not be Fanny. Fanny, whose reputation is obviously damaged by such a wager, bets him that she will have him heart-broken over her in 6 weeks.

This book did not have the best plotline, I must admit, but it was certainly not terrible. I spent 3/4 of the book trying to figure out why Fanny was interested in Brix instead of Drury, Brix's friend. I fell in love with Drury, why didn't she? Hopefully, Sir Douglas Drury will get his own book (hint, hint, Ms. Moore, if you just so happen to be reading my oh-so-humble opinion).

In all, not a bad read, although you'll want to beat Fanny with a sharp object for all her holier-than-thou whining, "Oh, Brix, I'm so in love with you, despite that terrible wager you made. I should hate you, you bad bad man, and yet...I still love you." Brix has his annoying moments too, "Oh, Mommy and Daddy didn't love me. My brother picked on me. Oh, I am so unworthy." Granted neither truly said these things, but that's the gist of their dialogue and inner struggle.

I'm a big fan of friends-turned-lovers stories--more realistic that way, I guess--so I still managed to enjoy the book. If you aren't, DON'T buy it. It will just annoy you to death. Wait for Drury's book. I'm sure it'll be much much MUCH better.

Books:

Books Index

Books Home

Recommended Books