Book Description
The Ultimate Dirty Joke Book holds back nothing and guarantees outrageous laughs. These are the jokes that no one dares to tell in polite company, that are too dirty to make it through the office email system, that may well be illegal in certain states. It makes the perfect gift for that special person who seems impossible to offend — impossible, that is, until he or she hears the one about the. . .
Customer Reviews:
Ultimate Lameness.......2007-07-22
I'd say maybe 5% of the jokes in this book are actually funny. Most are exceedingly lame, old, and low-brow. I guess you shouldn't expect much from a book authored by "Mike Oxbent" and "Harry P. Ness," but I didn't really start out with very high expectations. I figured it would be hit-or-miss, but I had no idea how much "miss" would triumph over "hit."
Customer Reviews:
Not a funny book. The jokes are not really dirty........2007-02-22
I bought this for an old Russian at the job. He lost his copy YEARS ago. I've heard many of these jokes from his memory and they were VERY funny. I READ them and they stink on ice. Idunno, you figure it out. In any case - I stopped reading and started hoping to hear him tell me more.
down and dirty, what you could ask more?.......2004-09-24
hey, guys, get off your high horse of morality. lower your standard a little bit, don't take it too seriously and too personal. something you didn't like in this book may only had to do with your personal humiliation like dirty laundry you don't want to wash. this book is just a collection, there are lot of repeatedly appeared similar jokes in different form, sometimes tiresome enough to skip. but all in all, we've got to appreciate that someone still had the patience to collect it and made it into a book. life is short, have some junk food once in a while, got nothing to do with life threatening slip. enjoy while you can. put the bible aside, take this giant book of dirty jokes up, put on your reading glasses and flip thru. you may find some jokes that you like to tell your old wife, then get a scornful helpless smile from her. live in a constant bibilical, conservative, highly moralized environment, sometimes is too stressful. you can't get anything fun when sift thru the daily junk mails and those heart-stopping monthly statements, or even worse, answering the phone calls from the collecting agencies for your late payments or delinquencies. life is too short, man, eat a six-dollar burger, turn yourself into a couch potato and, enjoy it while you can.
Worse than surgery.......2003-02-03
The jokes in this book are not only unfunny, they are not worthy of actually being called jokes. I have flipped through many of the pages in search of a good laugh and haven't found anything remotely close. I rarely post reviews. Out of curiosity I looked up this book on Amazon and saw someone posted 5 stars.
This person is clinically insane.
I am _that_ driven to post just to bring the average rating down. You will get more laughs with your seven dollars by renting Les Miserables.
Terrible.......2001-09-24
If you want to be put in a bad mood, then read this book. I've had the book for a few weeks now and I still haven't found one funny joke. The author of this book must be the guy at the party that drives you crazy with tons of jokes that are not funny. I highly recommend that this book be destroyed.(...)
My "Giant Book of Dirty Jokes" Review.......2000-08-08
This book is about what else, dirty jokes. I am not saying the people who have written a review for this book already are wrong, but this probably was not their kind of book. It is the funniest Dirty Jokes book I have ever read and it has hundreds of jokes.
These kind of jokes are NOT for everyone! Maybe the previous people are too young or immature, too understand the subject matter{No offense}.
I suggest it too anyone with a sence of humor
Have A Good LiFE
Customer Reviews:
Laughs from the back of the cab.......2006-03-23
This is a nice little collection of "crude" jokes. A bit rough around the edges -- but does not stoop to filth for filth's sake. Some are even repeatable in mixed company.
A great collection of jokes!.......2005-09-20
Mr. Pietsch does it again! This is a great collection of very funny jokes. Everyone should have a copy of this book! And while you're at it, get his earlier joke books as well.
Book Description
They're all here!, the hooker, the drunk, the proctologist, the little old lady, the midget, the traveling salesman, the black guy, the Jewish mother, dirty Johnny, the redneck, Helen Keller, the Polish girl, the Chinese couple, the two lesbians, the priest, the horny divorceé, Confucious, the rabbi, Schmidlap... Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling knows them all and more. Here are the gems from the private files of the head writer and cast member of The Howard Stern Show -- the man infamous for knowing every joke there ever was. In comedy clubs from coast to coast, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling has dared audiences to start a joke he couldn't finish. Now he takes no prisoners, spares no ethnic or social group, and exhibits not one ounce of good taste in this wildly offensive, all-inclusive, and outrageously funny collection of dirty jokes.
We hope you like this book, and if you don't we hope that the next time you bite into a jelly doughnut, there's a string hanging out of it.
Customer Reviews:
An American Classic.......2007-01-19
Jackie the Jokeman Martling is the go to guy when it comes to classic one-liners, hilarious jokes, and biting observations. We pulled the book out at Christmas dinner and had everyone laughing and red-faced at jokes about Jewish child molesters, Eskimos and snowblowers, and guys in foxholes. This book lets us laugh at ourselves without the mean streak that can be evident in today's humor. How can you tell when a man is in love? He divorces his wife! Okay, the rest are really good. Keep the book in your back pocket. You'll make a lot of friends.
Hello, and welcome back to fifth grade........2003-04-03
I'm a big fan of some of some of the most off color, raunchy, in-bad-taste humor there is, and a lot of these jokes were funny the first time I heard them... In grade school.
This book is nothing more than Blanche Knott's Truly Tasteless Jokes with a new cover, and really, that book isn't very funny once you hit puberty either.
Not Funny.......2001-03-24
This book isn't funny. It's a rehash of old jokes. Save your money.
F Jackie!!!.......2000-09-23
Yeah, these are mostly ones EVERYONE has heard. And they are funnier when you can hear 'em spoken by Jackie....go catch this guy at the clubs, a book doesn't do the man justice.
Jackie has always been funnier than Hooknose, I told you!.......2000-06-28
I always told you that my husband was funnier than Howard, this proves it to all of you. Jackie is the funniest man alive, always has been. My husband is not some old, retarded drunkm, that is a misconception, he knows how to make money, do you know how much we got making this book. Haha, the joke is on you. Robin is jealous, Howard is cheap, Fred is dangerous, Gary is ugly, Jackie makes the show and will also conquer the book world while I set my sights on Hollywood. F-Jackie, that F stands for Fenomenal, that's what my husband is. Tell Jessica if I ever see her I am going to scratch her eyes out!
Customer Reviews:
The funniest joke book in the world........2002-04-18
Its a great book. Best in the world.
Book Description
A hilarious overview of the methods people use to get even with big business, government and enemies. These dirty tricks range from the simple to the elaborate, including more sophisticated schemes devised by CIA and Mafia members and political dirty tricksters. For entertainment purposes only.
Customer Reviews:
It was alright.......2007-07-17
Personally i have bought the book and found most of the information pretty funny, And i have been reading some of the other reviews and it irritates me of how people are trying to buy the book for Practical jokes to play on their friends, well think of your own jokes hows that? Hayduke specifically says in the book "However, the tricks, scams, stunts, cons, and scenarios presented here are done solely for informational and amusement purposes only" and he goes on like that and even suggests a book for actual practical jokes. Granted this book is not useful for finding ways to prank your friends/enemies, but it is quite the entertaining read.
Nothing beats the anarchys cook book.......2006-02-13
I think this book is pretty entertaining but not the best. I read books like this all the time and notice that lots of these so called pranks are from there. -Crazy P
Not Practical @ all.......2003-05-02
This book is completely un-useable! I wanted a book I could use to play pranks on my friends and enemies - this publication contains "crimes" which no one in their right mind would endeavor to achieve without ending up in the can. It seems like Hayduke wrote it because there is a lack of "practical joke" books on the market and he knew it would sell regardless of the content - which is inane and mindless. An example of a totally ridiculous one is spreading some "human feces" on bread and feeding someone a [pooh] sandwhich. This is about as good as the book gets - and who is going to try that one?! I'm so upset that I actually purchased this God-awful book.
Advice for all you pranksters - If you must buy a book in order to learn practical jokes you can actually "play" get The Prankster's Ultimate Handbook by Erik Buckman. The gags within are all playable, enjoyable and it is truly a very funny read as well.
Thumbs up.......2000-06-13
This is a great book. There are only two parts that are out of date and those are 1)Buying m-80's 2)Using foreign coins in pop machines (tried it already) the rest are incredibly well written down and in detail. Alot of them i have either heard other guys talk about or red them online (with no credit to the author.)
Avoid at all costs.......2000-04-29
Like the other Hayduke books, whatever relevance this one may have had has long since passed. Pretty much outdated and useless, and not even very entertaining. Go with Victor Santoro instead.
Book Description
The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes is the ultimate collection of X-rated and decidedly politically incorrect jokes—an indispensable guide to the funny, the fearless and the filthy. Be warned, the contents of this spanking new bumper book are not for the faint-hearted or easily offended.
This unique and up-to-the-minute compendium features thousands of politically incorrect jokes covering every topic from Alzheimer's to Zoos. Among the themes are Accidents, Adultery, Australians, Breasts, Cannibals, Cowboys, Drunks, Farting, Flight Attendants, Foreplay, Honeymoons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Marriage, Masturbation, Nuns, Old age, Orgasms, Parrots, Priests, Sodomy, Surgery, Therapy, and, of course, Viagra.
Customer Reviews:
Title pretty much says it all.......2007-07-10
Great book for those of us with a sick, twisted sense of humor. The book seems to be British or Canadian, so a few of the local jokes went over my head, but overall great book. I would recommend reading through the "Search inside" that Amazon offers, and browsing through using "surprise me". I believe they let you read about 100 pages using this feature.
Average customer rating:
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The Dirty Girl's Joke Book 2
Karen S. Smith
Manufacturer: Carlton Books Ltd
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 General
| Humor
| Entertainment
| Subjects
| Books
Look Inside Entertainment Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
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ASIN: 1844425703 |
Amazon.com
The enigmatic star of the hugely popular Drew Carey Show divulges the secrets of his rise to stardom and his life as a standup comedian in the audiobook version of Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined. Despite the title's promise, this isn't just three hours of filth and debauchery--well, not quite. Carey also shares an unexpected admission about being molested as a child, a surprisingly serious and moving moment. This solemnity, however, is a brief respite from almost three hours of bawdy humor--fables of all things dirty and odes to everything politically incorrect. Carey's jokes are nothing new or original, but he doesn't profess them to be. These are characterizations of people he has met throughout his life: grotesque slobs, cheap hookers, and lousy drunks. They're not exactly inspirational characters, but Carey manages to see--and relate--their funny sides. Carey borrows his jokes from barroom culture, leaving them raw and uncensored. Listening to the tape, you can almost smell the stale tobacco and taste the draft beer. Some listeners will delight in Carey's anecdotes about anatomically astonishing penises and his other jokes, while others may feel slightly nauseated. Dirty Jokes and Beer leaves little middle ground; you'll either love it or rip your headphones off in disgust.
Book Description
We all know Drew Carey from his award-winning stand-up career, and his hit television show, but do we really Drew Carey, the person? In his first book, the bawdy and irreverent DIRTY JOKES AND BEER, find out about all the many sides to this misunderstood Hollywood star:
The Health Conscious Drew: They say that exercise and proper diet are the keys to a longer, healthier life. Oh well...Watch for my next book, "How I Died While Jogging."
Drew the Lover: I read the Forum letters in Penthouse thinking that I could learn from them. I remember thinking sometimes when I was having sex, "Lets see now. How did 'Surprised in Cincinnati' do it?"...If a Playboy Playmate said in her questionnaire that she liked a guy in tight pants, I would go out and buy some tight pants. If she said she liked well-endowed men with big muscles and hairy chests, I would cry.
And Drew's formula that took him from a lonely teenager to a successful mega- star...avoid cheap cologne and cheesy bikini underwear. Don't expect sex on the first date, and never pay more than twenty dollars for a lap dance.
All this, plus a section that Drew calls "...kind of Drew Carey in the Fourth Dimension [but] still close enough to the real Drew to scare me." This audiobook contains adult language.
Customer Reviews:
My First Big Gig.......2007-06-08
Back in 1992, my first big gig as a comedian was emceeing in Chicago for a week. The headliner that week was Drew Carey, one of the best guys to know and meet in the biz. He is very friendly and honestly wants everyone to succeed; a rare attribute in the world of standup. His also one of the funniest.
Drew's book provides a lot of insight into his steps up the comedy ladder. I wish he had cut the dirty joke chapter and instead included more road stories. The story about his wacky friend and Jim Brown makes the book worth reading alone. I don't want to give it away; trust me, it is absolutely hilarious.
Congrats on all the success Drew; you earned it.
Thuddingly Dim.......2006-06-06
Drew Carey is a thuddingly dim star in the entertainment firmament, an anomaly for sheer inscrutability of talent even in that recondite sphere. While comic actors have at times been known to build their careers on measurable skills, Mr. Carey has successfully parlayed a "less is more" strategy into a career dragging along for an improbably interminable period. No less insipid a figure today than the fateful moment he began desultorily scuffing the boards, Carey lately brings his singular skills and love of soccer to a new show, "Drew Carey's Sporting Adventures," which promises to showcase all that is wonderful about this beloved figure while offering its Travel Channel audience fresh reasons to eschew a sport loved around the globe.
Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx, S.J. Perlman, Dorothy Parker, P.G. Wodehouse, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, ... none of these shining lights of comedy will be called to mind by Mr. Carey's book, "Dirty Jokes and Beer," whose author bravely goes it alone in the comedic sphere, free from burdensome old bedfellows like perceptiveness, irony, intelligence, or humor.
You can judge THIS book by it's cover........2006-05-10
my title here says it all. In this book Carey gives us tons of ammo to fire back at friends. If you're looking for a book to zip though and laugh out loud....get this book. Just don't expect Shakespere!
It's not War and Peace but then again, it not supposed to be.......2004-11-12
Drew Carey is a funny guy. As his Funny Bone commercials state, "funnier than you". The first half of the book is extremely funny then loses its momentum for the latter half. Drew lets you in to his human side, where a lot of other celebrities would shy away from such thinks making Drew even more likable knowing who he is and where he came from. I think his show was great and I think he knows that the joke and his star are not always going to be popular so enjoy it while you can. Drew, the every man's everyman. This book is not a laugh riot but a nice look a man that found his way to stardom by accident without any aspirations from childhood. It does make you laugh but it is not a jokebook. Remember that. I enjoyed this quite a bit while at home and at the beach, a very good beach companion. Give it a try!
Title Says It All.......2004-08-13
Dirty Jokes is his section for ranting about stuff. Each chapter starts with a dirty joke and the follows with something close to his typical stand up routine. This is Drew as stand up comedian section. It's the most crass of all the book and in some regards the funniest.
Beer is Drew's more serious autobiography with information on how his sitcom ran (interesting details), his run ins with the tabloids (funny), his childhood and some thoughts on how he ended up the person he is. Having friends who've been through similar childhoods, his recollections seem very plausible and I'm sorry he went through what he did. I'm glad he's come out of it a stronger person.
Stories of the Unrefined was my least favorite section. The stories werer just too dull after his chattier sections. When writing fiction he tries too hard to sound refined. He should just relax and let the story flow in his natural voice.
Books:
- The Wit & Wisdom of Winston Churchill
- The Zen Of Zelda Wisdom From Doggie Lama
- Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers: More Mad, Marvy Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
- Twelve Years a Slave
- Weird Ideas That Work: 11 1/2 Practices for Promoting, Managing, and Sustaining Innovation
- What Color Is Your Parachute for Teens: Discovering Yourself, Defining Your Future (What Color Is Your Parachute for Teens)
- What Did the Biblical Writers Know and When Did They Know It?: What Archaeology Can Tell Us About the Reality of Ancient Israel
- What's So Funny? (Dortmunder Novels)
- What Would Wally Do?: A Dilbert Treasury (Dilbert Books (Paperback Andrews McMeel))
- Whoopi's Big Book of Manners
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
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- The Rice Diet Solution: The World-Famous Low-Sodium, Good-Carb, Detox Diet for Quick and Lasting Wei
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- Second Chance: Three Presidents and the Crisis of American Superpower
- Running Your Machines with SPC
- Probability and Stochastic Processes: A Friendly Introduction for Electrical and Computer Engineers
- The Butterflies Of West Virginia and their Caterpillars
- Capitalization Theory and Techniques: Study Guide With Financial Tables
- Successful Assertiveness
- Camino a la Grandeza Financiera, El: Los 10 Pasos Para Crear Riqueza, Seguridad y un Futuro Prospero
The Dirty Joke Book
The Mammoth Book of Dirty, Sick, X-Rated and Politically Incorrect Jokes: The Ultimate Collection of X-Rated Gags (Mammoth Book of)
The New York City Bartender's Joke Book
Giant Book of Dirty Jokes
Truly Tasteless Jokes Three (Truly Tasteless Jokes)
