Book Description
Reviving Ophelia meets The Mother- Daughter Book Club in a book that offers a proven model for staying connected through adolescence
There is no comment more troubling to the mother of a young girl than “she loves you now, but just wait 'til she's a teenager.” Ten years ago, SuEllen Hamkins and Renee Schultz, psychotherapy professionals with a combined forty years' experience and both mothers of then seven-year-old daughters, created The Mother-Daughter Project with several other women in their community, with the hope of disproving this damaging assumption. With their young daughters, the group met regularly to speak frankly about such issues as girls' friendships (and aggression), puberty, the media's influence on their self-image and esteem, drugs, and sexuality.
As their daughters matured, the mothers marveled at the strength and confidence with which the girls thrived through adolescence. The Project had succeeded in creating a haven from the many perils of teen culture. Equally important, it helped the mothers navigate their own fears and concerns about adolescence with integrity and grace.
At once simple and revolutionary, this book details the success of the Mother-Daughter Project's groundbreaking model, providing the reader with a road map for strengthening her bond with her own daughter, and providing strategies for staying close through adolescence and beyond.
Customer Reviews:
good for rich white people.......2007-09-13
Three years ago, you could not have convinced me that my mother and I would have a functional adult relationship. In addition to a life crisis that brought us back onto speaking terms and into each other's lives, we learned to set aside most of our differences because life is too short to do otherwise. When I heard about The Mother-Daughter Project, a book that promises "a proven model for staying connected through adolescence and beyond," I felt a glimmer of hope that young women would no longer spend their twenties overcoming the verbal scars of youthful wars with our parents. Maybe my expectations were quite high, but this overly self-referential, self-help book in disguise is written in such a fluffy, insulting way that I found it hard to accept any of its legitimate advice.
It should first be noted that the ten-year group experiment on which this book is based took place in greater Massachusetts, where I currently reside. While that doesn't immediately lend itself to a myriad of privileges, two educated, white women wrote this book from their own experience. They do make a cursory acknowledgement that mothering is more than their version of the status quo, but this recognition simply doesn't show through in their analysis or supposedly practical application, and I just can't get down with that kind of written tokenism.
Most helpful for their references to other similar, more groundbreaking works, this is a good book for mothers who literally have no clue about how to start relating to their teenagers. The overly simplistic solutions and embarrassing language do not make it an effective read for teens, however. If my mother had handed me this when I was in middle school, I'd have laughed in her face despite my strong desire to heal our relationship even then. An overly indulgent attempt to debunk myths like the "perfect girl" or the "supermom," this book is mainly a solution for upper class white folks who have a built-in support system ready to consciousness-raise and spend long hours dissecting how to best grow their relationships.
a wonderful resource for parents.......2007-08-31
I think "The Mother-Daughter Project" is a terrific book. I have recommended it to parents that I see in my practice as a child psychiatrist, to friends who have daughters, and to anyone whom I meet who has daughters! I believe this book is a rich tool, from the perspective of understanding and, most beneficially, from the perspective of practice: on how to foster strong, nurturing, and enjoyable bonds between mothers and daughters and between mothers and mothers. The common experiences and challenges that different generations of females encounter in our society, and life itself, as well as the resources needed to meet those challenges, are richly explored in this book through the discussion of the evolution of the mother-daughter group.
With detail and humor, the authors share with the reader the journey of this group of mothers and daughters over 10 years, as they start meeting monthly when the daughters are seven years old and continue up to the time of college. We learn about the very rich array of activities that these very thoughtful and intentional mothers used to educate their daughters about the tasks they will encounter in each coming stage in their development. Age specific challenges to mothers and daughters, together and separately, are covered in an overview level and in the very rich detailed activities the mothers and daughters used to prepare for, practice, and develop the skills and abilities to deal with all that is involved in moving from protected childhood into adulthood. This book is a wonderful resource to all parents-whether or not they are in such groups.
great message for mothers and daughters!.......2007-05-20
I bought this book earlier today and am over halfway through it. I am the mother of two daughters, age 9 & 12. While I wish I had this book five years ago, it doesn't feel like it's too late. A great resource for years to come, with positive self, daughter and relationship building ideas.
Average customer rating:
- On the upside...
- Good to get it out there
- Odd Girl Out---the book
- Interesting interviews, but feels repetitive and incomplete.
- Now I understand why some girls are suddenly so mean!
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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
Rachel Simmons
Manufacturer: Harvest Books
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ASIN: 0156027348 |
Amazon.com
There is little sugar but lots of spice in journalist Rachel Simmons's brave and brilliant book that skewers the stereotype of girls as the kinder, gentler gender. Odd Girl Out begins with the premise that girls are socialized to be sweet with a double bind: they must value friendships; but they must not express the anger that might destroy them. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict, girls develop what Simmons calls "a hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression."
The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of "I'm fat."
Simmons is a gifted writer who is skilled at describing destructive patterns and prescribing clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to resist them. "The heart of resistance is truth telling," advises Simmons. She guides readers to nurture emotional honesty in girls and to discover a language for public discussions of bullying. She offers innovative ideas for changing the dynamics of the classroom, sample dialogues for talking to daughters, and exercises for girls and their friends to explore and resolve messy feelings and conflicts head-on.
One intriguing chapter contrasts truth telling in white middle class, African-American, Latino, and working-class communities. Odd Girl Out is that rare book with the power to touch individual lives and transform the culture that constrains girls--and boys--from speaking the truth. --Barbara Mackoff
Book Description
Dirty looks and taunting notes are just a few examples of girl bullying that girls and women have long suffered through silently and painfully. With this book Rachel Simmons elevated the nation's consciousness and has shown millions of girls, parents, counselors, and teachers how to deal with this devastating problem. Poised to reach a wider audience in paperback, including the teenagers who are its subject, Odd Girl Out puts the spotlight on this issue, using real-life examples from both the perspective of the victim and of the bully.
Customer Reviews:
On the upside..........2007-06-09
What an incredible walk through our nation's schools--though only eye-opening because I didn't realize how prevalent my own experiences were among others. How sad that girlhood aggression has been labeled a "culture". On the upside, that ought to give it the attention that such destructive behavior is due. I know, I know, it's been said before: EVERY girl and her mother needs to read this.
Good to get it out there.......2007-05-02
I think the value in this book is its ablility to open up discussions about this subject. For generations, nothing has been said about it. Parents, teachers, school administrators, nobody wanted to talk about it. Without that discussion, nothing will ever change.
Odd Girl Out is beautifully written, sometimes heart-breaking, often maddening. I would have liked to have seen the author offer more solutions to the problem, but overall, I think it is a very valuable book and would recommend it to anyone with daughters.
Odd Girl Out---the book.......2007-04-15
Great book, very easy to read. Parents and girls should read this.
Interesting interviews, but feels repetitive and incomplete........2007-04-10
In Rachel Simmons' book, "Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls," she introduces us to three hundred girls from thirty schools across the country. Blasting the stereotype that girls are the kinder, gentler sex, Simmons' premise is that girls are taught to "be nice" and to "make friends," and, as a result, are unable to express anger that might destroy the façade of friendship. Because our culture does not grant girls "permission" to confront conflict directly, Simmons asserts, there exists a "hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression" consisting of "backbiting, exclusion, rumors, name-calling, and manipulation to inflict psychological pain on targeted victims." Simmons remembers how she felt when a third grader named Abby told the other girls not to play with her; she remembers her own responsibility in giving another girl the silent treatment. It is from that base of personal experience that Simmons conducted her interviews.
The book consists of Simmons interviews...many, many interviews. Over time, the interviews begin to seem mind-numbingly similar. Natalie's story, Lisa's story, Molly's story, Dina's story...each story becomes repetitive. At one point, I set the book aside for a week and found that I had lost my place. I attempted to find the exact page where I had stopped reading, but I found that it was impossible to do so. Since none of the stories stood out distinctly in my mind, I gave up my search for the "right" page; I picked a random early chapter that I knew I must have read already and resumed my reading.
I enjoyed reading the book, even given its repetitiveness problems, and with a lifetime of experience being the "odd girl out," I found it somewhat cathartic to read stories of young women who had experienced similar trauma. Simmons does some things well. Her explanation of the devastating impact of girls' aggression is compelling, and she does an excellent job of describing the dynamics of the hidden aggression. In addition, Simmons relates the various interviews in a compassionate and thoughtful manner.
Where she does not succeed, however, is in giving her readers tangible suggestions about ways to address the problems she emphasizes.
Odd Girl Out contains two hundred and seventy pages, but it is only during the last thirty of those pages that Simmons addresses possible solutions to the problems she outlines. In those thirty pages, Simmons tells readers to talk to their daughters, to tell teachers about what is happening, and to make sure that teachers take the problems seriously. Those are reasonable suggestions, but I wanted more. I did not find a plan to keep these things from happening to my young adult daughter in the first place, nor did I find a plan of action in the event these things happen to my daughter. It is not enough to recommend we talk to our daughters and to their teachers - my friends and I could suggest that plan to one another over a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Simmons has made a good first step in raising awareness of the problem. She needed to work harder, though, to provide parents and teachers with skills and with plans for action when facing these issues.
Now I understand why some girls are suddenly so mean!.......2007-03-14
I read this book in preparation for my daughter's middle school years. I can honestly say it helped prepare me the first time she came home in distress over a friendship that had taken a negative turn. It gives insight into what might be going on in a girl's mind when she suddenly starts displaying RA tactics, and the devastating effects it has on both the aggressor and the victim.
My daughter took great comfort from this book as well as the companion book, Odd Girl Speaks Out - they helped her understand her friend's possible motives and gave her some tools to use to turn the situation around. It also helped me open up a dialogue with her school, who were very responsive. RA can be overcome, but you have to educate yourself and your community. Sometimes this has to start with the parent, not the teachers. This book is a fantastic first step.
Average customer rating:
- Don't be a parent who doesn't get it...
- Helpful conversation starter
- Using this book with 11th graders....
- Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques,
- A teen's perspective on an almost four star book
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Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy
Rachel Simmons
Manufacturer: Harvest Books
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ASIN: 0156028158 |
Book Description
The national bestseller Odd Girl Out exposed a hidden culture of cruelty that had always been quietly endured by American girls. As Rachel Simmons toured the country, these girls found their voices and spoke to her about their pain. They wanted to talk-and they weren't the only ones. Mothers, teachers, counselors, young professional women, even fathers, came to Rachel with heart-wrenching personal stories that could no longer be kept secret.
Here, Rachel creates a safe place for girls to talk, rant, sound off, and find each other. The result is a collection of wonderful accounts of the inner lives of adolescent girls. Candid and disarming, creative and expressive, and always exceptionally self-aware, these poems, songs, confessions, and essays form a journal of American girlhood. They show us how deeply cruelty flows and how strongly these girls want to change.
Odd Girl Out helped girls find their voices; Odd Girl Speaks Out helps them tell their stories.
I'm always the odd girl out
No one talks to me
I try to be friendly and speak out
But I'm invisible, see?
You know, gossip is a natural thing in high school. I'm one of those girls that will
do it right in front of you. I'll whisper at my friends and look at you the whole time.
Then we'll all cut up laughing. You know we're talking about you.
My best friend and I started being friends with this other girl. But she was fat. It was hard because she always wanted to go down the slide second and she would crush us. We didn't want to tell her she was fat, so we decided to drop her. Her mother called my mother and
told her we were being mean. But we just couldn't be friends with her anymore.
-from Odd Girl Speaks Out
Customer Reviews:
Don't be a parent who doesn't get it..........2007-07-10
It is inevitable that our daughters will experience some sort of emotional bullying. Prepare yourself and the ones you love by reading this book and understanding the dynamic.
This book helped me to see how my natural reactions
"Well Ill just speak to her parents" WRONG
"Honey Just talk with her and it will work out" WRONG
"She is such a rotten kid! How can she do that?" WRONG
WRONG WRONG WRONG
Sigh.
It hasn't changed since we were young- its only better enabled by technology. In any case- information is the best weapon. Read this with your daughter before it happens- you may be able to avoid heartache.
Helpful conversation starter.......2007-05-21
This book was recomended by my 6th grader's school counselor after she started making some questionable friend choices. We moved to a new area about a year ago and my two middle school daughters went from a very conservative charter school to a tight knit small town public school. My youger (6th grader) daughter has had a more difficult time adjusting and this helped a lot. My older daughter has always been the over-achiever, and expects the same of her sister. This book hleped a lot even within their relationship as I would consider my older child a "queen bee". This book helped my daughter open up to me more because it was easier for her to start a converstaion about something she read in the book, that happened to someone else, and it would lead us into things she is or has been going through. I read Queen Bees and Wannabes while she was reading this and it seemed to work out well, gave us a common thread and set the stage for planned conversations, something difficult to do well with girls this age.
Using this book with 11th graders...........2007-04-13
www.rachelsimmons.com
First off, I wanted to hook you up with the author's official site.
I think that this book is a MUST READ for any 8-12th grader in America! This coupled with the first book, Odd Girl Out coincide with the angst of being a young woman in this day and age. Thank God I don't have to be a teenager now!
I have used this text in my book club and it sparks great discussions and is a stepping stone to creating your own student anthology. It works well with tons of films and books, like Mean Girls, 13, or Speak. I can't even think of all the LIFETIME movies that coincide with this book as well.
Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, .......2007-04-01
This is a GREAT book. My daughter who is 14 could really relate to it. As a mom it really gave me an insight to what she has to deal with at school.
A teen's perspective on an almost four star book.......2005-06-18
"Odd Girl Speaks Out" is a book of short stories by teen and preteen girls about their experiences with relationships between other girls. Opening the beginning of each section is commentary by the editor relating to what the section will be about.
What's Good-
1) Certain authors make powerful statements of self realization at the end of their stories. Ex-In "Who My Friends Really Were", the author states, "No longer do I judge or label...And most importantly I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, they do get better...I got better." In "I Was the One Word that Everyone Fears: Alone", the author says, "Through my experiences I became a stronger person. I learned so much about myself and about others."
2) Some authors prefer to express themselves in poetry. Their poetry tells a story just like those who write in article format but is more direct. Those who like to read stories in article format but also enjoy poetry might find this refreshing (like I did).
3) The editor offers commentary about each of the sections of the book and some of it is helpful. Ex-In a snippet about talking to a friend about a problem, she offers three tips definitely worth using: Listen, Stay with the issue, and if need be, Apologize. In a snippet about losing trust in relationships with girls, she says not to give up on girls forever.
4) Certain stories can be inspiration for performing. Ex-"Just to Make You Happy" is written in monologue form and with a few changes is perfect for a drama performance.
What's Not So Good-
1) The story entitled "Friend Trouble". It feels like the whole story is the author complaining about her two friends for various reasons without offering any substance. Also, instead of making up names for her two friends she refers to them as "my skinny friend" and "my fat friend" and herself as "average fat". This is one story I don't recommend reading at all.
2) The editor mentions that for some girls who are constantly picked on, moving can not only be a fresh start but they can also become more popular. What she doesn't stress enough is that if those constantly picked on girls are carrying around heavy grudges, they still might have problems.
3) Sometimes the editor puts too much of herself into her commentary. She mentions a few experiences she had with her own friendships and at one point when she was talking about parents she wrote down what they said and "responded" back. In a book where girls are supposed to speak for themselves, it would be a good idea if she backed off and offered the advice with no emotional attachment.
Final Recommendations-
All in all this is a decent book with decent stories, but I recommend scanning through it first before buying.
Customer Reviews:
Eh.......2006-12-15
While this book is an asset in learning about lesbian history it is seriously lacking in connecting ideas and seperating fact from oppinion. While some points are made well there are some that are so far off that they devalue what ever point the author was trying to make.
Wonderful survey of lesbian history.......2005-06-21
I read this book when I was newly out and went through the "read everything remotely queer" stage. This is truly a gem. It is everything a work of history should be: engaging, informative and well-crafted.
I recommend this to GLBTQ folks who are lacking knowledge about our history, as well as people with an interest in women's studies and feminism. Good photos, too.
Empowering and Engaging.......2002-04-24
Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers is a fascinating work that traces the cultural history of lesbianism in the United States -- providing a broad and thorough overview of lesbianism's diversity, its relationship to feminism, and its evolving forms of resistance in relationship to the oppressions of the dominant culture. Perhaps what is most impressive about this book is that while it is an impressively researched and intellectually stimulating piece of scholarship, it is also an extremely engaging read. Faderman draws the reader into lesbian cultural history in a way that is never clinical, but compellingly human--under her treatment, the lesbian subculture emerges in all of its varied complexity, its celebratory subversiveness, as a fascinatingly rich and vibrant culture of historical, political, and sexual significance. This book is a marvelous introduction to lesbian culture and history . . . it is entertaining, empowering, and utterly engaging.
An important work.......2001-04-09
Lillian Faderman has written some of the best works on the lesbian experience throughout the ages, and "Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers" is no exception. She covers every facet of the subculture from the turn of the 20th century to the present day with impeccable scholarship, and her writing is engaging and highly readable. She examines everything from 1950's butch/femme, 70's lesbian feminism, and the resurgence of trendy "lipstick lesbians" with equal attention. This book is a must-have for every queer library, and is an important contribution to the cause of lesbian visiblity.
Interesting book.......2000-03-18
I'm taking a class in sexual communities history and this is one of the books I have to read. I've found it to be an excellent supliment for the class. The only thing lacking is that it sometimes will make a really great point, then a few sentences later make a completely off the wall one. Overall a great book, and if you're looking to learn a lot about lesbianism in the US...this is a wonderful book to do so.
Average customer rating:
- Average introduction to probability
- Finally a readable math book!
- Excellent primer and not only
|
Understanding and Calculating the Odds: Probability Theory Basics and Calculus Guide for Beginners, with Applications in Games of Chance and Everyday Life
Catalin Barboianu
Manufacturer: INFAROM
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ASIN: 9738752019 |
Book Description
Man's daily life is full of decisional situations. Whether we have math skills or not, we frequently estimate and compare probabilities, sometimes without realizing it, especially when making decisions. But probabilities are not just simple numbers attached objectively or subjectively to events, as they perhaps look, and their calculus and usage is highly predisposed to qualitative or quantitative errors in the absence of proper knowledge. That is why a book explaining the probability concept and its interpretations and applications for non-mathematicians is a necessity. This is an enlightening journey through the world of probability theory. Its multiple goals are to help the reader understand what probability really means, to teach the reader how to rigorously perform and apply the probability calculus, even without a solid mathematical background, and to stimulate the reader to go deeper into the notions involved. In the first part, the author tries to build a clear image of the probability concept by reconstructing its mathematical definition step by step through its constituent notions. It starts with a general presentation of the conceptual ensemble word - definition - notion - model any theory is based on when trying to reproduce reality. Then, the probability notion is defined and explained starting from the classical definition to the definition for the countable case; then probability is presented as a limit and as a measure. This book presents not only the mathematical concept of probability, but also its philosophical aspects, the relativity of probability and its applications and even the psychology of probability. All explanations are made in a comprehensible manner and are supported with suggestive examples from nature and daily life and even with challenging math paradoxes. After these points are laid out the math chapter follows. It contains all the notions and principal theoretical results that ground Probability Theory, starting with fundamental notions like Sets, Functions, Boole algebras, and Sequences, and continuing with Measure Theory Basics - Tribes, Borel sets, Measurable spaces, and Measure, ending with Field of events, Sigma-fields, Probability, Conditional probability, Discrete random variables, Classical probability distributions, and Convergence. And, of course, it includes all important theorems and results dealing with them. A special section is dedicated to Combinatorics and combinatorial calculus. Readers with no minimal mathematical background may choose to skip this chapter because the teaching material is structured for developing probability calculus skills based on algorithmic procedures. This is the subject of the chapter titled Beginners' Calculus Guide, in which the reader is taught to apply the properties of probability and to perform calculations in practical applications. The skills acquired here can be practiced on the more than 200 solved and unsolved problems and exercises in the book. Gamblers have a dedicated chapter, which is a large collection of applied probability results covering most of the gaming situations from the major games of chance: Slots, Roulette, Blackjack and Texas Hold'em Poker. The author brings important contributions to the decision theory, offering in the last chapter a mathematical model on which to base proof that a probability-based strategy is theoretically optimum, which has immediate applications in games as well as decisional situations from daily life. Everyone should find something of interest here: philosophers and mathematicians may focus on the sections on philosophical matters of the probability model and decisional matters, students and non-mathematicians can find solid A to Z teaching material about Probability Theory and the practical person can find all the tools needed to apply and perform probability calculus without a teacher.
Customer Reviews:
Average introduction to probability.......2007-02-09
This book covers the basics in probability including boole algebras, measure spaces, law of large numbers, combinatorics, discrete random variables and bayesian probability.
The first 118 pages is basically a short story on probability summarizing the next 200 pages. The problem is the author uses an unnecessarily complex writing style enough to frustrate any individual whose first language is english what to say of others. Regardless, after a few pages you get used to it.
The mathematical chapter is really not mathematical at all. It is simply a statement of definitions, properties and theorems with no justification ( proofs ) and only a spattering of justification.
The prize however, is the problems and algorithms with plenty of solved examples. This has it's merits but at some points the author solves problems by a circuitous and often confusing route. There are other much simpler ways to solve these problems.
Regardless, I relished the fact that the author gives a general problem solving method rather than present formulas to memorize. This enhances intuition and understanding.
Finally a readable math book!.......2006-07-04
It covers fundamentals well, easy to read, good variety of problems, nice examples, philosophic sections are interesting. It has everything. I've never seen a probability book with such good examples and algorithms of solving. Most books on probability give you all of the equations, but they don't really tell you how to apply them to real situations. It is the book on probability that I have been looking for. Great.
Excellent primer and not only.......2006-06-23
This is the book to start with and to finish with. In this big book (in size and amount of information) you will find all you need to know about both theoretical and applied probability. The author made the text comprehensible for all categories of readers: laymen, students and advanced. And the result is a masterly exposition with amazing clarity. I read a lot of textbooks on this subject, but I found no one to touch on all basic issues in such a teachable manner. Each subject has a short, concise and to the point exposition. Great job and a very useful product.
Book Description
The average ninth grader beginning school at Downtown College Prep in San Jose, California, reads at a fifth grade level. By senior year, 94% of the graduating class will be accepted into college. With a new approach to charter school education, this inner-city school has found success where so many others have failed. Our School shares not only the alternative strategies and bold new ideas that made Downtown College Prep the success that it is, but also the personal stories behind this accomplishment. Honest and engaging, Jacobs exposes the schools struggles and triumphs, from preparing students for the SATs in a community where many residents dont speak English to troubled students finding faith in themselves and the mentors around them. This gritty yet hopeful book offers sound advice and inspiration, while at the same time providing a new understanding of what makes a charter school work.
Customer Reviews:
'Inspiring' is true........2007-10-02
'Our School' is an inspiring read, especially for those teachers who are working with students in less-than-ideal environments.
Although 'Our School' talks a lot about the American school system, the ideas and discussions on pedegogy are universal.
Our School: Chasing dreams by rewriting the rules.......2007-07-05
Diminutive Selena gripped two sides of a basketball with uncertainty before finally giving in to the shouting principal/coach on the sideline, begging her to shoot.
She shot-putted the ball forward ... and watched it sail wide of the backboard by two feet.
Selena was one of the key players on the most unlikely girls basketball team ever to win a high school game -- a team that "Our School" author Joanne Jacobs hilariously describes as "the shortest basketball team in America."
"Our School" is not about sports, but this team -- eight girls hovering around five feet tall, among the few at their school who could muster the C average required to play -- is the perfect metaphor for the academically undermanned students that San Jose's Downtown College Prep charter school promises to someday send to college.
The Lady Lobos are mostly Mexican immigrants who know little about the game they've decided to play and are short of skills needed to succeed. But with enough "ganas" -- Spanish for desire -- perhaps they can somehow pull out a victory.
Likewise, "DCP students enter the school academic losers," Jacobs writes. "They don't know how to play the game. By the standards of middle-class high schools, DCP students aren't really in the game. But they keep working, they get better. If they stick with it, they'll win a college education."
Jacobs is the education reporter and former columnist for the San Jose Mercury News now nationally known for her popular education blog, [...]."Our School" is her book chronicling the years she spent observing as two idealistic teachers attempted to write their own rules and build a high expectations high school for low performing kids in an impoverished, gang-ridden inner city.
The book is both a pleasingly written, novel-like tale of kids who struggle â" and mostly win -- against tough odds and something of a guide for would-be school charter school developers, complete with a "how to start a charter school" chapter as an appendix.
For the motivated teacher, or otherwise inspired individual, who has thought of breaking out on their own to start their own charter school, Jacobs' book is really a must read. The "Lessons Learned" chapter alone is filled with telling stories and sage advice from DCP's founders.
For instance, they sorely underestimated how much catching up their entering ninth graders would need on very basic skills after years of neglect in the school system. It wasn't enough to set high expectations and seek to inspire them. The kids, plain and simple, needed to know how the speak English and multiply. As a result, DCP ended up much more structured and regimented than anyone ever expected because that's what the kids needed.
The school leaders also had to come to terms with the necessity of tossing kids out, especially for misbehavior. DCP throws out a lot of kids, a detail likely to catch the eye of charter critics, who complain that other public schools would love to have that nuclear bomb in the war to maintain discipline and order. "Our School" makes the point many times that discipline is a key. The leaders believe rules must be enforced consistently and unwaveringly, and they don't hesitate to expel even kids they like who fail to get with the program.
DCP's success is undeniable by the book's end. Just as the short kids on the girls basketball team work hard, get better, begin to compete and finally actually taste real victory, so their classmates, too, are reborn in academic success. All that stick with DCP to the end go to college and the school's test scores ultimately rank among the best around.
Still, the future of the school is far from certain. Teacher turnover is heavy. By its very nature, Jacobs tells us, the school tends to attract young dreamers to its teaching staff â" not the types to work at one school and retire 30 years later. By the book's end, one of the founders is even working on getting out.
Sustainability is a big question for charter schools, even excellent ones like DCP.
I also wonder if "Our School" won't someday be viewed as a period piece, unique to the early days of the charter movement when the romantic vision was that pioneering teachers would break free from bureaucracy and reinvent education.
In fact, the "mom-and-pop" charter schools â" truly independent and run by local folks â" may be a dying breed. An ever increasing share of charters are run by national management companies, such as Edison Schools and Heritage Academies, and more recently, non-profits and school districts themselves.
Even so, as the charter movement continues to grow, Jacobs has done a nice job encapsulating what these new public schools are supposed to be about and how they are different from traditional public schools. It's a good primer for the average parent â" those who've heard of charters but not really sure what they are exactly. And the story is an enjoyable ride right to the end.
"Pulled by my mother's dreams, I walked barefoot across the border from Mexico," Selena's begins her college essay. "I was six years old."
But with wild basketball misses behind her, on track for a diploma and a college scholarship awaiting, Selena will cross the commencement stage ready to chase her own dreams.
[...].
The story of two people making a huge difference.......2006-05-17
On my blog, Why Homeschool, I posted back in December about attending Joanne Jacobs' kickoff event for her book I bought the book back in December and had Joanne sign it. But I've been distracted, partly by blogging, and only recently got around to reading Our School.
Our School is basically a biography of Downtown College Prep, DCP. This is a charter high school in San Jose. Joanne leads us through the birth of the school, founded in 2000. We are introduced to Greg Lippman and Jennifer Andaluz who started the push for DCP. We read of the struggles to get funding, to get a location, and to get students.
Most of the book is about incidents that happened at DCP, or in connection to DCP. It like reading a story. Along the way Joanne slips in information about charter schools and education in general. The book is well written, very engaging, and hard to put down.
Many charter schools are very selective about who they let into the school. Often they only want students who are motivated and doing well in school. There are two elementary charter schools in my neighborhood. There is great competition to get in, so the schools are able to pick the better students.
DCP was created with the intention to help those who were fluking to get back on track for college. Greg and Jennifer were going after those who were no longer in the game. They set themselves a daunting task. In some ways DCP trying to help their students catch up is a Don Quixote mission; it is an almost impossible task. Most of the freshman class was functioning around the fifth grade level. Most of them don't know how to take notes. Most of them don't want to be in school. Most of have trouble reading. A Don Quixote mission might even be easier.
Our School recounts the efforts of the teachers at DCP. One of the nice things about a charter school is they are not bound up with so much bureaucracy. The teachers at DCP would try something, and if it didn't work, they would change quickly. Over time they found ways to help the students dramatically improve their reading. They taught the students how to study. And over time most of the students became engaged and were on track for college. They accomplished these Herculean tasks.
This is a very inspiring and moving book. We get exposed to some of the problems with public education, and we see how a couple people were able to make a great difference. This is a good book to read.
Great Read, Great Resource.......2006-04-27
As a school psychologist, I saw many students who struggled and sometimes gave up. I enjoyed reading "Our School," which is about a charter high school that recruits freshmen who've earned D's and F's and graduates them with the skills and motivation they'll need to earn a four-year college degree. At Downtown College Prep, students and faculty experience many "glorious failures," learn from their mistakes and go on to do better the next time. As a charter school, DCP has the flexibility to try new ideas to find out what works best for its students, most of whom come from low-income, non-English-speaking families. The book is a well-told eyewitness account infused with humor. I really liked the chapter about Ride the Carrot Salad. "Our School" is a great resource for teachers and other educators, and I think anyone who cares about our schools will find this book a rewarding read.
A well-written, encouraging, and uplifting story.......2006-01-21
First, let me say, WOW! In my local area, there are several charter schools, two even run by the previous public school district Superintendent -- yep, there is a good story there. While the charter schools here are doing some good things, it seems to me that there really isn't as much difference between them and their nearby district schools when it comes to test scores. They have the same achievement gaps and high percentages of kids not making grade level proficiency as their counterparts in the local district. With this perspective, I haven't really seen charter schools as the answer to public educations' problems. Part of the answer maybe, but not the solution.
After reading Joanne's book and my recent appreciation for certain charter schools, such as American Indian Public Charter in Oakland, I think with the right leadership, charter schools offer the opportunity for educators to try new approaches. When these approaches work, the students are successful and the charter school is successful. When they don't, both fail.
In the case of Downtown College Prep, the school explored in Joanne's book, I think this is a success. While their test scores are good, not great, the fact that their students almost all failed in their previous traditional public school experiences really makes their test scores outstanding. The simple fact that they can turn around many of these students and get them to college is extraordinary.
One of my major complaints of public education is that too often, teaching practices exist simply because "we've always done it that way" or because the administrators or teachers like a specific program or strategy, without any regard to whether it really is successful. Charter schools provide opportunities to explore new school configurations and strategies without the bureaucratic inertia of a district administration or in many cases a teacher's union. I really think this is a good thing. While there are both good and bad charter schools, just like traditional public schools, I think it is important that charters exist to be the proving ground for new strategies and to help identify best practices that can be implemented by other schools.
In my job, I read a lot of really boring books. I read books on education and education policy as well as nerdy computer books. Our School satisfied my need for education policy while at the same time being a great story, which was well written.
I discovered Joanne's blog a couple years ago and since then I have become a huge fan. I don't always agree with her, but I find her articles well written and thoughful. She makes me consider my point of view on many topics. Of course, in the end I realize I'm right or that we agree, but she does make me think.
I strongly encourage everyone to buy a copy of Our School, whether you are involved in the field of education, a parent concerned about your child's schools, starting a charter school or simply are looking for a great, uplifting story. It also makes a great gift for that educator on your Christmas list.
Average customer rating:
- OddTodd Rocks
- A Genius and Most Excellent Human Being (and a cool book)
- Totally... different
- Brilliant! One of the best afternoon reads ever!
- Enlightening
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The Odd Todd Handbook: Hard Times, Soft Couch
Todd Rosenberg
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The Alphabet Of Manliness
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Book Description
Unemployed since June of 2001, Odd Todd now spends his time watching TV, taking powernaps, spacing out, snacking, updating his Web site daily, and doing....stuff. THEODDTODDHANDBOOK is chock full of ways to spend time when you can't spend any mon-ay. We'll start at dawn-ish and go through a whole day all the way to Odd Todd's late-night insomnia attack at 2:30 a.m. THEODDTODDHANDBOOKchronicles Odd Todd's lottery fantasies, thoughts about writing screenplays (samples included), cheap and 'too easy' recipes (samples included), dealing with mom and dad, dream analysis, socializing with 'working folk,' getting free stuff, and sneaky (and lazy) job search techniques. There are games, puzzles, a glossary with lingo for the unemployed, and lots of....stuff. Whether you're unemployed or just strive to live the lifestyle, Odd Todd will cover all the benefits of this exhilarating way of life.
Customer Reviews:
OddTodd Rocks.......2007-03-07
I've been a Todd fan since the beginning in '02. He's as funny now as then. Love his website and his movie shorts as much as the book. His illustrations are great. They are so good because they are so simple. Who needs fancy anyway? He shows us you don't need a job to make it in the world sometimes. Just a good imagination. The book is a great bathroom read. A little at a time and you don't get bored with it.
A Genius and Most Excellent Human Being (and a cool book).......2006-01-15
tOdd effotlessly makes funny. His visual timing, though best experienced in a medium that moves past you (his online Flash cartoons) is spot-on and his own written narrative gets better and better, warmly human, quirky- but always as The Voice (not just The Yapper) inside us all. tOdd is a friend, a comic Genius, a most excellent writer and above all, a keen observer of himself. He looks in crannies and cracks few of us will, and is a pretty wonderful observer of this world and all of us.
If you don't already own two copes as I do, maybe start checking the auctions now.
luap
Totally... different.......2004-08-14
Odd Todd's website is not only one of those "must-see" sites, it's one that draws a person back day after day to see what new unemployed endeavors Todd is engaged in. Todd Rosenberg is one of the most optimistic, empowering, encouraging individuals you're ever likely to run across, and the fact that he's endured our sluggish economy (thank you, President Bush) jobless for three years with nothing but the contributions from his website and royalties from his book are testimony to the survival instinct in this unique individual. Hard Times, Soft Couch compiles some of the best snippets from his site, as well as plenty of new material, into a work of art that strikes the very heart of the slacker generation. Long live Odd Todd!
Brilliant! One of the best afternoon reads ever!.......2004-07-11
Here is a man who is honest, funny, clever, insightful and a talented artist. His milieu is unemployment. His canvas is life. He is a voice of a child of the 70`s and an adult of today. I spent the afternoon on the patio with his book and it has been the best day of 2004.
Enlightening.......2004-07-02
Makes ya appreciate cook-ays & coff-ay & pringles so mucho after reading it. Praise unemployedom!
Book Description
Did you know that if you drive ten miles to buy a Powerball ticket, you're sixteen times more likely to die in a car crash than you are to win the jackpot? Or that, while it is nearly impossible for a coin to land on heads one hundred times in a row, it is equally improbable for any other specific sequence to come up? As Orkin's Law of Absurdity states, "Everything is impossible, yet something must happen."
Full of surprising facts and useful information, What Are the Odds? is a delightful introduction to how chance works and the role it plays in our everyday lives. It answers such practical questions as:
* When is a weird event due to chance and when is it due to something else?
* Can you make a living as a gambler? If so, which games should you play?
* Are some things possible, but so unlikely that they will never happen?
* Should "Survival of the Fittest" apply to business?
* How do you determine which strategy to use when you have no ideas what your opponent will do?
* How can you be cooperative without being exploited?
A fun guide to the principles that govern chance and the games people play, whether in a casino or in everyday life, What Are the Odds? is guaranteed to entertain and enlighten anyone interested in the nature of chance. 75 illustrations.
Customer Reviews:
Good intro to basic probability.......2004-06-02
Though subtitled, "Chance in Everyday Life," Orkin primarily uses gambling and war to discuss probability. The book starts off with a few chapters of basic probability, and Orkin uses several short passages to illustrate some of the common misconceptions many of us share about the role of chance.
The meat of the book, however, is concerned with gambling and war. Orkin gives entertaining explanations for the various odds associated with roulette, craps, slots, and blackjack. His reasoning is easy to understand and will hopefully disabuse gamblers of the notion of lucky streaks. Orkin then goes on to discuss spend a couple of chapters on zero-sum game theory and the prisoner's dilemma. He effectively uses examples involving two warring generals who must decide to attack, defend, cooperate, etc. when presented with various options and the payouts associated with them.
This book would have gotten 4 stars had it not been for the unnecessary last chapter where the author discusses zero-sum game theory with respect to the NATO bombing of Yugoslavia. Unfortunately, the chapter comes off less like a lesson in game theory, than an opportunity for Orkin to present his political views. Politics just doesn't belong this book.
This is a decent book and a short read. If anything, pick it up for the short discussions on gambling.
Odd book, variable content.......2003-11-25
This is a quirky book, but with lots of good information. The tone is often humorous, but ends with a serious topic. About half the book is spent looking at the house edge on roulette, craps, and slot machines. He presented a "winning strategy (almost)" for blackjack, however he does not include the calculation for the house edge there.
I thought the section on chance and chaos were excellent and I'd recommend to readers setting up the logistic difference equation of animal populations on a spreadsheet, to really demonstrate the effect of initial conditions. Contrary however to this strong section on biology, was a weak paragraph on evolution.
The later discussion on game theory was well done, looking at the Minimax criteria and the pay-off models. This chapter might have been enhanced by other strategies of decision, such as "avoiding regret". The final application of game theory to the Yugoslavian conflict was daring, and showed a different perspective about complex conflicts. Perhaps participants in Survivor, or other reality shows would benefit from this book.
Like an infomercial.......2003-08-24
This very thin book apparently contains the distilled wisdom of a statistics professor, whose only claim to fame is that he is called from time to time to help TV newscasters get some comment from an "expert."
Did you notice that all the "favourable" reviews sound as if they were written by an underpaid marketing intern? that's because no one really enjoyed this book, but the reviews have to be there to sell the book.
THE ODDS ARE IN YOUR FAVOR YOU'LL LOVE THIS TOME.......2003-05-25
Did you know that if you drive 10 miles to buy a Powerball ticket, you are 16 times more likely to die in a car crash than you are to win the jackpot? Or better yet, that if you buy
50 Powerball tickets a week, you will win --- once every 30,000 years? And how about this one: The chances of tossing a coin in the air and having it land heads up 100 times in a row are one in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. (Thatýs 30 zeros, folks.) The odds of having a great time while reading this book: 100 percent. Guaranteed. Author Michael Orkin takes a different spin on life with this lively read, a compendium of chance
in everyday life. Ultimately, itýs a book about mathematical possibility --- and it adds up to great fun!
Good introduction to probability through gambling.......2000-09-05
Orkin write clearly for the novice and uses a minimal amount of mathematics. He provides clear explanations of games of chance including roulette and blackjack. The coverage on blackjack is particularly detailed and some of the anecdotes are very amusing. It is a little disappointing however since it promises examples from everyday life in the title but concentrates mainly on gambling and coincidence and does not offer much in the way of real problems. Some of the examples are overly simplistic. Still the discussion of gambling is interesting and there are many good references.
Book Description
Description: What does it take to follow your dreams? "DEAD MEN DON'T LEAVE TIPS: Adventures X Africa" by Brandon Wilson is an edge of your seat tale about a couple's seven month dream odyssey - 10,000 miles across Africa from top-to-tip. After their "ship of fools" safari turns into a nightmare, they set off across Africa alone. DEAD MEN DON'T LEAVE TIPS takes readers onto the crazed roads of African adventure and into the hearts of its people-while transforming the travelogue into a raw, penetrating, more poignant genre. From the award-winning author of YAK BUTTER BLUES: A Tibetan Trek of Faith. From flap: What does it take to follow your dream? Quite a bit, if your "dream" involves crossing Africa. That's what one couple discovers when they set off on a seven-month overland journey from Morocco to Cape Town. As dedicated independent travelers, they'd already traveled around the world. But was a trans-African odyssey too much for even them? Who do you "cadeau?" How do you create tantalizing dishes from grubs? Or avoid having a spear tossed through your camera? With trepidation, they join an English do-it-yourself overland safari. Flung into the midst of twenty-one odd companions, they're shocked to discover that many of them have never even camped before. And the "guides" know Africa as well as the dark side of the moon. After their dream turns into a nightmare, they eventually set off across Africa-alone. DEAD MEN DON'T LEAVE TIPS is a captivating tale filled with a passion for travel, spontaneity and unbridled adventure. It is often funny, sometimes anguished, yet always real. Nothing is held back or glossed-over. Wilson takes you onto the crazed roads of Africa, through the everyday ups and downs, and into the lives and hearts of its people. He shows us once again that the real joy of travel is the thrill of getting there. Reviews: "Journeys of body and soul in every sense of the word... Interlaced with this honesty and detail are Wilson's beautiful prose, obvious passion for adventure and a deep inquisitiveness about other cultures, making this book a pleasure to read. Highly recommended." ~ Midwest Book Review "A masterful crossroads of characters, exotic places, history and human drama in a rig that never stalls, and allows the devil to drive his own ill-behaved backyard..." ~ Richard Bangs, author of "Mystery of the Nile" "Entertaining and a monument to those who would take on the challenge of land travel across one of the most dangerous, unhealthy continents in the world." ~ Heartland Reviews "Honest, gritty and insightful...it makes the world's most exciting continent read just like that." ~ John Heminway, author of "No Man's Land: A Personal Journey into Africa" "I was swept away by the drama and storytelling...Wilson is never a tourist. He travels heart-first with both feet solidly on the ground and his curiosity always in high gear. He is exactly the right person to be writing travel books for the rest of us." ~ Maui Weekly "Travel writing at its most sublime, a paean to Africa in all her contradictory beauty, and a tribute to the resiliency of those who travel beyond boundaries not only in search of meaning, but also of understanding." ~ C.W. Gortner, author of The Secret Lion "One of the most engaging travel books we have read." ~ RealTravelAdventures.com "Powerful and gripping story...Fascinating, informative, humorous, poignant, surprising...a terrific read from first page to last-would make a popular addition to any personal or community library Travel section." ~ Midwest Book Review, Travel Shelf "Aficionados of travel books will delight in "Dead Men Don't Leave Tips"...a hybrid of Paul Theroux and Tom Robbins, combining the raw frankness and keen observation of Theroux with the intelligent humor & playful language of Robbins...Readers who have a penchant for traveling will happily devour this book and be sorry it ended. I was!" ~ A. Buklarewicz, Reviewer, Amazon.com
Customer Reviews:
A 10,000 Mile African Odyssey.......2007-07-03
"Wild, pristine beauty surrounded us as we drove to the base of remote Djomba to establish camp. Towering green peaks sprouted out of ripe clusters of lush vegetation. Massive pyramidal volcanoes rose of the verdant floor suggesting its prehistoric past. Churning, whitecapped rivers cascaded over mountainsides into translucent pools below, and its beauty didn't end with nature." ~ pg. 146
Brandon Wilson is an expert storyteller who masterfully weaves a story of a seven-month odyssey across Africa. His exciting writing style keeps you on the edge of your seat as you journey to the heart of Africa. The detailed descriptions bring the story alive with the sounds, scents and sights of a real-life adventure.
Brandon Wilson is an award-winning writer and photographer who has spent his life exploring the world. He is also a keen observer of human nature and deftly describes the human drama that is ever present in the stories of the overlanders and exotic locales. There are a few photographs to compliment this journey but the writing captures scenes in seconds and transports you to a different time and place.
As Brandon and his partner travel from Mororcco to Cape Town you are invited to vicariously experience every nuance and challenge experienced by independent travelers. He and his partner have a passion for adventure and are inquisitive about the local peoples and unique cultures. They maintain their sense of humor throughout and press on, undaunted towards their final goal. Some of their adventures include:
Hunting with Pygmies
Climbing Africa's Highest Mountain
Meeting Mountain Gorilla
Horseback riding in lion territory
Sitting out underneath the stars by campfires
Watching Antelope and Cape Buffalo graze
Visiting Serengeti National Park
Watching Hippos in Zaire
Experiencing village life and living with locals
Surviving Torrential Rains
Sampling local foods and finding restaurants
Swimming and rafting in African rivers
Through vibrant prose and the eye of an artist, Brandon Wilson paints his recollections with startling clarity. His writing unleashes an immense longing for the experiences he describes. There is a profound beauty of freedom in the way he travels. As they reach Gillman's Point on Mt. Kilimanjaro you can't help but cheer them on to even more exciting adventures like surviving a rafting trip down the Zambezi river.
I can also highly recommend Yak Butter Blues: A Tibetan Trek of Faith. Brandon Wilson's writing is the best travel writing I've ever read and his adventurous spirit is inspiring.
~The Rebecca Review
Great Reading.......2007-05-01
Humorous, insightful and at times moving, this book almost has a taste of the nineteenth century explorer to it as the pair strikes out on their adventure, learning as they go. For those of us that would always take the "comfort route," it's well worth reading!
A Travel Addict's Fix.......2007-01-06
Aficianados of travel books will delight in "Dead Men Don't Leave Tips".Travel is truly an art mastered by few and Brandon Wilson reveals an expertise that inspires. His rich descriptions transport the reader into the unfamiliar and his ability to delve into the cultural core of the humanity he encounters is sure to nourish the spirit.His writing style is a hybrid of Paul Theroux and Tom Robbins, combining the raw frankness and keen observation of Theroux with the intelligent humor and playful language of Robbins.
Africa offers travelers the height of potentiality and Brandon Wilson embraces opportunity with constant relish. Readers who have a penchant for traveling will happily devour this book and be sorry it ended. I was!
Images of Africa.......2006-06-17
"Dead Men Don't Leave Tips" documents a journey across Africa in a manner that lets the reader experience the trip as though they were there. It's a book that makes you realize that, indeed, such things as taking a trip across Africa are actually possible for "regular" people. We see all the problems of arranging the trip, trouble at borders, problems with roads that are not much more than mudholes. It's presented with humor. But then there are the special moments, where the hassles of the trip fade into the background, and the reader is brought face to face with the beauty of Africa. It is these special moments, where the vital beauty of Africa is brought into focus, that stand out for me.
For example, when the author visits gorillas in the mountains, he spends over 90 minutes with a gorilla family, moments that seem to pass in an instant. At one point "... the inquisitive baby climbed down again, this time headed directly toward me. Tottering back and forth, her tiny feet tramped through the tall grass. Finally, she paused just inches away. The pop-eyed, eighteen-inch high, thistle-haired imp stretched out her tiny hand toward me ... she caressed my beard then touched my lips with her slender black finger."
It's these unforgettable moments that make "Dead Men Don't Leave Tips" stand out for me. If you've ever wished you could experience modern Africa, you'll like reading this book.
Terrific Adventure Read.......2006-06-02
DEAD MEN DON'T LEAVE TIPS BY BRANDON WILSON is one of the most engaging travel books we have read. The author and his partner set out to live their dream of crossing Africa from top to tip, not as tourists but as travelers. The difference is that travelers experience the country almost as if they were natives living there, not in full service hotels and fancy restaurants. The author's adventure turned sour in many difficult ways because of the ineptness of the guides they had selected and the group with which they were placed to travel. The couple's seven month honeymoon dream odyssey - 10,000 miles across Africa from top-to-tip. After their "ship of fools" safari turns into a nightmare, they set off across Africa alone. However, being adventurers and seasoned travelers, they perservered through dust, mud, starvation, fever, sickness, being stranded in the desert, and many other situations that are horribly fascinating. We shuddered as they overcame each diffuculty. The trip took over seven months, and they came through it unbelievably in tact to tell their fascinating tales. A must read!
Book Description
Creating Life Against the Odds
Most prospective parents, when arriving at the decision to have children, presume their journey will be an exciting and rewarding one, resulting in the birth of a healthy baby. When those dreams are shattered because they cannot conceive or miscarry, they ask, "Why me? What did I do wrong?" The trauma of infertility is as devastating to one's self-esteem as any other life crisis, it can destroy intimate relationships-or it can bring out the best in us.
In her book, Creating Life Against the Odds, Dr. Higgins, an obstetrician/gynecologist, describes her own experience becoming a mother by ovum donation. She also shares the first hand accounts of dozens of others who have turned to assisted reproductive technology (ART) in order to realize their dreams of becoming parents. These are stories Dr. Higgins has heard from her patients and from hundreds of women (and men) she has counseled or communicated with through confidential Internet support groups. The stories of these courageous individuals became the inspiration for Creating Life Against the Odds.
Dr. Higgins takes us along on their journeys as they struggle with infertility, as they explore the options that medical science now offers, as they meet obstacles, and as they adjust to repeated loss. She also takes us into the minds and hearts of sperm and ovum donors, surrogates, and gestational carriers, looking at what makes them want to lend such an intimate, helping hand. Are they like organ donors? Do they do it for financial gain? When ART enters the picture and donors or surrogates are used, how should we describe their relationship to the children they helped create? And what about the children? Are they like adoptees? How do they understand their birth origins? And what should their parents tell them?
Dr. Higgins' wisdom as a well-traveled physician, who has delivered babies and counseled patients from many cultures, allows her to tackle tough practical and ethical questions from a global perspective. These questions are answered honestly, with deep compassion and respect for those courageous men and women who have sought the help of ART and who belong, as a result, to a special group of parents whose success in family-building is due to an extraordinary commitment and a selfless expression of love.
Customer Reviews:
Personal and Professional- the perfect combination.......2007-06-08
Dr. Higgins' personal experience with ART and her professional experiences as an obstetrician/gynecologist, artfully threaded through her informative text, bring this book alive and make it accessible to all readers. Essential reading for all infertile couples considering ART, I would also highly recommend this book to their adult family members to help them understand the journey.
A Diamond in the Rough Worth Mining: Creating Life Against the Odds: The Journey from Infertility to Parenthood.......2007-05-04
This volume is remarkable for its lucid non-technical (non-medical) language and the way it speaks to the body, mind, and spirit. The book is about people who struggle as under dogs against the odds to have babies through a third party contributor. Thoroughly accessible, it will appeal to general readers, offering many pearls of wisdom. While en route to China to adopt an infant daughter (after having a stillborn biological daughter), I read this book. I am painfully aware that medical science/arts have their limits and are not always successful (even for those who are indomitable.) Having been schooled in the Boston area with clinical work in several exotic locales, the author Lonny is now in a Hawaiian paradise where she lives a wholesome lifestyle. The narrative is honed from the lens of a physician with emphasis on ethics, politics and complications of third party ART's. Dr. Higgins has many unique discussions like that of the "Solomon Syndrome," a reference to the biblical story, coining a new phrase for what some women, including herself, experience as unworthiness, questioning if they are the real mother when an egg donor is involved. One wonders if there are similar syndromes for fathers using donor(s), non-carrier(s) partners or parents who employ a surrogate-gestational carrier.
The vignettes of case studies or clinical scenarios describe the psychological risks and high stakes of 3rd party reproductive matters (on the one hand, issues of loss of genetic contribution from one parent; and on the other hand, how worthwhile it is to have these children made against the odds). Higgins tells stories from her own family, e.g., referencing her romance with her husband and miracle son Tucker. She also addresses well what parental responses might be when a child says to their parent: "You should have shopped for better egg or sperm!" In a reader-friendly chart of drawings "The Birth Matrix: An Illustrated Guide to All the Options" Higgins gives representations of possible reproductive combinations available for singles, gay, lesbian families and traditional heterosexual couples. This is helpful because often people may need to try more than one standard way to make a baby when spontaneous pregnancy is not working or possible due to numerous factors/unknown causes.
The author could have dealt more with the hardest cases when enough is enough, and the journey results in childfree living (not included fully), adoption (one case relates to China adoption), or surrogacy (included more fully). Higgins addresses society's lack of willingness to deal with 3rd parties in terms of nuanced language. Anyone considering third party reproduction will benefit from mining this book. The journey to parenthood from infertility has numerous rewards and pitfalls (joys and sorrows). Higgins has discussion of God talk and mentions a spiritually up-lifting hymn (referring to a creation hymn "Out of the Stars.") Offering an empathetic embrace like a hug, this book soothes in that it eases pain and calms one down to make one more centered and less angry, anxious or upset. With a bit of luck this book will receive wider circulation among mothers and fathers to-be, professionals, indeed all interested parties. It makes a thoughtful resource and can be a healing balm. Available in both hard and soft cover, this book wholeheartedly offers plenty of doses of loving-kindness based upon the doctor's orders!
highly recommended!.......2007-04-04
this book is enormously helpful to anyone who is considering her fertility options. dr higgins gives a thoughful, truthful review of all the things that we need to consider before going ahead w/making a decision. also, as a mother through egg donation herself, as well as an OB, she has a perspective which i have not found anywhere else. this book is truly like no other.
highly recommended!
Superb look at and beyond the medicine of ART.......2007-03-28
Dr Higgins provides a refreshingly lucid and personal narrative that bridges the all-too-common gulf between patient and physician. The wealth of facts and reference material helps propsective and "in-process" families understand the clinical journey and the many actors in the process. The first-hand experience and shared stories of her patients and acquaintances breathe life and soul into the book, and reach the heart of any careful reader.
This volume should grace the offices of every fertility and ART provider.
A must read if you are considering egg donation.......2007-01-30
This is an outstanding book describing the procedure and emotional aspect of being an "egg" (oocyte) recipient. With more couples needing the help of third party reproduction or donor egg this book is an excellent resource combing the knowledge of a gynecologist with the personal experience of being an oocyte recipient. A must read for anyone considering egg donation.
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