Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of
You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In
I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.
This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.
Customer Reviews:
You Need to read this Book!.......2007-09-13
Everyone with a family should read this book. It has excellent examples and you will recognize the conversations and situations because you have heard or participated in very similar communication fiascoes.
Extremely informative.......2006-06-27
I have used the information in this book to enhance my communication and relationship skills with my family and others I work with. I believe the book is worth the time reading!
I only Say This because i Love you.......2006-03-19
This makes a mother stop and isten to herself when she is talking to her adult daughter. Why does the daughter not like to visit her? Well, in this book may be the answer, the way the mother talks to her grown daughter. The book should go both ways in helping the daughter learn how to talk to her mother, who is wanting a close relationship to her grown daughter now. This is a very good book, one that can help people grow in their communications with each other.
Interesting.......2006-03-16
I found this book to be helpful in understanding some of the language that goes on between my family, to know we are not the only ones out there with problems in relating to each other.
really really really really good. really........2003-10-27
I cannot express how much this book has helped me understand what's going on in my family. A lot of arguments in my family center around who said what, how they said it, and why they said it. And Tannen provides almost all of the tools necessary for us to even think about reconciling.
This really is an enlightening book. What it does do, is explain what goes on in a particular aspect of any family - she explains how family arguments and conversations work, why some things are said but other left unsaid, and provides some suggestions and advice for going back and fixing some of those misunderstandings. She provides a really comprehensive overview of whole family setups, organizations, and tons of possible situations.
She doesn't say "here's how to fix your problems - they shall all be solved". She can't - she's not your own psychologist. But there is so much information to work with, that for a majority of families this will definitely provide a really good and solid basis for reconciling, and even allowing family members to start talking to each other civily again.
Tannen has done tons of research, and provides many examples from all types of families throughout the whole book - grandparents, partners, families with children, families without children, cross-culture families, etc.. I do have to completely agree with another reader that the examples Tannen gives could have been plucked straight from my life. I found one line in particular that could actually explain away years of misunderstanding between two whole branches of my family, myself included. It's also a very fast read - I read it through in just a few days, and I'm a slow reader.
If anyone in your family is even remotely having difficulties talking to others in your family, you should buy this book. I can't tell you how much it's helped me already. Had to buy two more copies of the book for other family members to "borrow".
Average customer rating:
- For All Ages and Cultures ...
- Great to make kids feel loved
- The Message is for Children of ALL AGES - young and grown alike....
- I love you because you're you
- Why, Mama?
|
I Love You Because You're You
Liza Baker
Manufacturer: Cartwheel
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Similar Items:
-
You Are My I Love You
-
No Matter What
-
Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go to Sleep
-
You Are My Miracle
-
Oh My Baby, Little One
ASIN: 0439206383 |
Book Description
This charming story about a mama fox's unconditional love for her cub describes the many moods of all children from happy to frightened, bashful to silly, and more. Sure to become a family favorite, I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU¹RE YOU offers children warm assurance of their parents' abiding affection and approval.
Customer Reviews:
For All Ages and Cultures ..........2007-01-05
LOVE is an unconditional. This book illustrates the differences between like and LOVE. This is a great book to read to children of all ages. The illustrations are marvelous. Even though the choice of roles may be a little gender biased, the story still depicts and models (for parents or caregivers) the art of teaching love.
Great to make kids feel loved.......2006-03-12
Great book, easy to read and really lets your child know they are very loved and very special.
The Message is for Children of ALL AGES - young and grown alike...........2006-01-22
My favorite line in this elegant volume is when
the regally dressed Mama fox says to her little one,
"I love you any way you feel, no matter what you do."
How many of us wonder, "Will they still love me, even
though I......." fill in your blank?
How many times we PRAY the important people in
our lives will love us unconventionally and how many
times do we deny ourselves the comfort of a
"Yes, ofcourse I will love you any way... no
matter what you do"?
Read this child to the preschooler in your life
AND be sure your teen-aged children (nieces,
nephews, neighbors, passers-by) are listening
as well. Read it often.
Read it to yourself when you are feeling low -
and allow yourself to be embraced by Mama Fox.
It is a less-than-five-minute investment
in contentment, peace and growth in
unconventional love... and hopefully the message
will carry over into the hearts and souls
of the listeners.
I love you because you're you.......2005-08-30
I read this to my niece every time she sleeps over..She goes over to the book shelf and picks it out...along with a few others we read before she goes to sleep...Jessalyn is 3 years old..
Why, Mama?.......2005-01-27
My toddler loves this book. He calls it the "foxes" book. He loves to ask "why" the mama fox loves the baby fox. I think this is a must-have.
Average customer rating:
- Clearly by an author who has no connection to God
- What a horrible story
- I love Max!
- Great Children's Book
- Because I Love You
|
Because I Love You
Max Lucado
Manufacturer: Crossway Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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You Are Special
-
Just the Way You Are
-
You Are Mine
-
Best of All
-
If Only I Had a Green Nose
ASIN: 0891079920 |
Book Description
Because I Love You
Customer Reviews:
Clearly by an author who has no connection to God.......2007-09-27
If God is the creator and made a perfect creation then why would anyone want to keep children inside an imperfect structure and isolate them from Gods perfect temples of creation?? (for man can not build anything perfect, correct? Only God can create the perfect).
What a lousy quality book. Commercial, "Readers Digest" illustrations of a poorly "told", unsatisfying, Bible type story that was more reminiscent of some cult leaders description of himself...and why is everyone white?
I sent it back. Save yourself the trouble of sending it back and get a Thomas Locker book instead.
What a horrible story.......2007-02-26
Build a wall around the village to trap the kids in? Because you love them?!? If you love them, take them out to the forest and let them explore, with you there to protect them. Don't wall them in. I pity the children raised by parents who believe this is a good lesson.
I love Max! .......2007-02-01
This author has blessed me in so many ways. I have bought his children's books for my daughter. I hope she will be blessed by his work too.
Great Children's Book.......2005-08-21
I bought it for my child because it gives the message that you are loved for yourself.
Because I Love You.......2005-01-27
What I like about this story is that it's a wonderful story. It has realistic nature pictures and they take adventures. It has lots of happiness. They have a little bit of fear. Especially love. There's a lot of love in this story.
Amazon.com
"Everything we say to each other echoes with meanings left over from our past experience--both our history talking to the person before us at this moment and our history talking to others," says Deborah Tannen, one of the world's most famous linguists. We react not only to the message, but to the "metamessage": our interpretation of the unstated meaning, based on tone, relationship, and our past associations. Add in the connections and control issues among family members, and it's no wonder families have so much trouble understanding each other!
I Only Say This Because I Love You is aimed mostly at adult family interactions. Professor Deborah Tannen, the popular author of You Just Don't Understand, uses anecdotes filled with dialogues to illustrate why we hear criticism when the other person meant to convey caring, how family members create alignments with secrets and broken confidences, the dynamics of arguments, the power of apologies, gender patterns in family talk, and communication with teens. You're bound to recognize your family members--and yourself!--in Tannen's examples.
You won't find quick, easy answers for improving communication in your family, but you will discover another dimension of understanding what's really going on. Now if you could just get your mother to read the book! --Joan Price
Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of
You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In
I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.
This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.
Download Description
The bestselling author of You Just Don't Understand and Talking from 9 to 5 shows how to understand talk in families and how to do it better.
Customer Reviews:
Fabulous new insights to relationships of all kinds.......2002-02-13
Chapter 1 of Tannen's latest book provides some fabulous new insights to relationships of all kinds. Her discussions of the connection-control schema and meta-messages concept allow the reader to gain new perspectives on those sometimes frustrating interactions with loved ones (or coworkers, or strangers...). The rest of the book is really just "gravy" on top of the information in Chapter 1. Wow, I loved this book-- a definite recommendation to anyone interested in better understanding relationship communication (I see my mother's "advice," formerly a source of frustration/anger, in a whole new light!).
I Only Say This to be Honest.......2001-08-25
Would that it were true that family relationships came down to the words we use when we talk to one another. Tannen tries to wrestle complex family dynamics into conversational styles, and fails dismally. Much of the "insights" are superficial, suggestions for improving relationships minimal, and the examples provided are tedious and boring. I had high hopes for this book but it provided little that was useful to me.
Solid Information, but haven't we heard it before?.......2001-08-20
I loved Tannen's _You Just Don't Understand_ because of the fresh insights it provided, so I was especially disappointed when _I Only Say This Because I Love You_ failed to provide the same feeling of discovery and excitement.
The book focuses on the frequent difference between the actual words that are spoken, and the meaning behind the words (meta-message), which is often about trying to create more connectedness or to alter the power and control dynamics of the relationship.
I found it interesting, but not revolutionary (and I'd come to expect revolutionary from Dr. Tannen).
By understanding the meta-messages both from ourselves and from others, we should have more power to address the meta-messages directly and not get involved in petty bickering and emotional responses that go nowhere except round-and-round.
Overall, I would say that the book contains useful insights and helpful advice, but for people who have already spent time analyzing their intimate relationships, there's probably not much new.
why can't you communicate with so-and-so? find out!.......2001-08-13
I considered myself a good communicator. Then I read this book. It brought things to my attention that I was unaware of, about how I communicate with those closest to me. I was confronted with my own mistakes, in a way that I could not deny, and it motivated me to work on those areas right away! I also saw everybody else I know in this book--because it is about the mistakes we all make. It encompasses all of the different family relationships there are, goals of communication, why certain communication styles don't work, and suggestions for making it easier. The best chapter of all was called "I'm sorry, I'm not apologizing." It talked about why women apologize more than men, why apologizing is harder for men, power issues involved with apologizing, issues around accepting responsibility, and most importantly, the key components of a good apology. I will definitely have a better marriage as a result of reading this book, and I will be recommending it to everyone I know. It was interesting reading, and for me, hard to put down. It is an accessable and very knowledgable reference.
Insightful reference on the levels of how we communicate.......2001-08-08
Exceptional reference for the verbal and the non verbal communicator. Best analogy "Do you hear what I mean?" As a wife of a non verbal communicator and a mother of three one who masters the english language and has strong communication skills to the youngest who struggle with basic communication, I have personally found this title to be instrumental in navigating through our own family and our verbal form of expression.
When exposed to those that struggle with the command of the english language I have had to learn new ways to communicate. This tile is completely on target and goes to posture, stance, tone and so much more.
How our presentation can make a positive or negative impact on the receiver. Often our intent of caring is misunderstood due to our presentation and/or the preconceived disposition of our intended audience.
After reading I was able to grasp the fact that sometimes no matter what was said it was improperly "processed." Truly it is the processing that counts most. Understanding that not everyone processes the same information in the same fashion can be eye opening and yet become an obvious reality.
The author drives home that we need to educate and understand and to be educated and understanding with our communication skills.
Average customer rating:
- A must-have book
- Excellent resource for family and friends
|
Because I Feel Fat: Helping the Ones You Love Deal with an Eating Disorder
Tony Paulson , and
Johanna Marie McShane
Manufacturer: iUniverse, Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Eating Disorders
| Mental Health
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Eating Disorders
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-
Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too
-
Too Fat or Too Thin? A Reference Guide to Eating Disorders
-
Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder
-
Overcoming Bulimia: Your Comprehensive, Step-By-Step Guide to Recovery (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
-
Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationship with Food Through Myths, Metaphors, and Storytelling
ASIN: 0595320619 |
Book Description
Because I Feel Fat: Helping the Ones You Love Deal with an Eating Disorder is a comprehensive guide that gives family, friends, and loved ones a thorough understanding of what eating disorders are and how to help their loved ones recover. Easy to read and understand, Because I Feel Fat breaks down complex disorders into simple terms that gives everyone, from the sufferer and worried loved one, a common ground of understanding. Through painfully honest and heartbreaking first-person stories, gathered from interviews with women suffering from anorexia and bulimia nervosa, the reader learns what it is like to have an eating disorder, in hopes that this insight will answer questions and identify the keys to helping with recovery.
"Because I Feel Fat...is a thorough and comprehensive book that will be of great value to both those who have an eating disorder and to their significant others. It fills a much needed gap in the resources that exist today by offering in detail the perspective of people who suffer from eating disorders."
Marcia Yamashiro, RD
Certified Eating Disorders Specialist
Customer Reviews:
A must-have book.......2004-12-22
One of the most realistic, easy-to-read books on eating disorders out there. I liked how the authors used real-life examples and statements from people whol really know what it's like to have an eating disorder. I learned so much from reading it!
Excellent resource for family and friends.......2004-09-14
This book was helpful in identifying how you can help someone with an eating disorder. I found the comments from the individuals suffering from an eating disorder to be moving.
Average customer rating:
- Wonderfully Refreshing!
- Thanks for the inspiration
- Perfect Gift
- Okay for kids... but adults will really appreciate it.
- I Love "I Love You Because"
|
I Love You Because...: Featuring the Soul Kidz
Marsha Feltingoff
Manufacturer: Smithmark Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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Life's Journey: Featuring the Soul Kidz
ASIN: 0765110547 |
Book Description
I Love You Because... is filled with gorgeous, hand-tinted, sepia-toned photographs that are the hallmark of the Soul KidzTM line, along with a delightful, heartwarming text that says "I Love You" in over 90 affectionate ways, whether it is because you make me laugh or you make me reach for the stars.
This beautifully designed volume is the perfect way to say "I love you" year-round.
Customer Reviews:
Wonderfully Refreshing!.......2002-02-16
This is an awesome book, not only for people of color, but for everyone. I was so mesmerized by the contents; the adorable pictures and quotes, were a breath of fresh air. Before I knew it, I had gone through the entire book before I even left the store. I've been married for 26 years and have a wonderful wonderful relationship. I knew that this was a gift I wanted to share with my husband to express once again, how very much I love him. My hats off to the author and photographer and the precious models, they really get it!
Thanks for the inspiration.......2002-01-16
I discovered this book last year and presented it to my husband for Valentine's Day. The pictures are darling and I found my self wanting to dedicate each page to my sweetie. I have been so inspired by this book that I have recommended it to the Married Couples Ministry at my church. I've come up with an idea for an icebreaker at our annual Valentine party using the book's theme. We'll do a contest to get it each couple to come up with ways to express or show their love. Responses can be in various categories such as the most romantic or humorous, least expensive, with the children, etc. We'll give away the I Love You Because calenders to the best responses. We're also encouraging people to buy an ad in the program booklet and surprise their valentine with their own I Love You reason. Thanks for the inspiration.
Perfect Gift.......2001-12-21
Great book.
Think of it as a hundred Kim Anderson greeting cards.
It's the perfect gift for that special person in your life...
Okay for kids... but adults will really appreciate it........2001-08-26
This is one of the best finds I've run across all year. I first saw the book at my 10 year old goddaughter's house. Her father bought it for her because he liked it. She thought it was okay but the adults, like me, who saw it laying on the family's coffee table were the ones who fell in love with it. Unfortunately, while her father always finds the best books to share with his family, he also manages to get the last copy. I couldn't believe this absolutely wonderful book was out of print. I searched everywhere for one for myself for months. When I finally found a source for it, I bought several to give to each of my best friends. When the books arrived, I wished I'd bought more because I loved it so. The pictures are wonderful. The sentiments; incredibly personal professions of love, gratitude and friendship. The combination of the photos and captions made it easy for me to tell my friends and family how important they were to me. This book is a fabulous gift to give to those people special to you. So when you buy it, buy more than one. Give the copies freely to the ones you love but don't forget to keep one for yourself. If you don't you'll regret it.
I Love "I Love You Because".......2000-10-04
What a great tribute to love.
Average customer rating:
|
ToddWorld: I Love You Just Because (Toddworld)
Todd Parr
Manufacturer: L,B Kids
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ToddWorld: I Like Being Me! (Toddworld)
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The Family Book
ASIN: 031605710X |
Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? Linguist Deborah Tannen reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic -- even when we're all adults.
Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages -- unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said.
Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen explores what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.
This eye-opening audiobook explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers -- and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters, why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives. BY helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.
Average customer rating:
- A positive message for girls
|
I Love You Because Love, Barbie (Pop-Up Book)
Lisa Rojany
Manufacturer: Golden books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Board book
Nonfiction
| Emotions & Feelings
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ASIN: 0307332012
Release Date: 1998-12-11 |
Book Description
5-spread pop-up book with lift the flaps, wheels, pop-ups, pull- tabs, a pop-up mini-card, and a present: a velvet bag with a pencil and a tiny heart-shaped notepad., , CATALOG COPY: Every time is a good time to share love. From pop-ups to pull-tabs, wheels, a pop-up card, and neverending flaps to lift, this elegant pop-up book has action on every page. And on the last spread, there's a secret hidden present. Packed with high-quality value, I Love You Because...Love, Barbie is perfect for year-round gift-giving.
Customer Reviews:
A positive message for girls.......1999-12-22
This book has lots of beautiful illustrations and pop-ups but the best thing about it is the specific message of what makes your girl so lovable and why you love her. The emphasis of the book is the "because", which gives more meaning to the "I love you." Barbie is good hook to make this appeal to girls; the drawback is that it will make it unappealing to most boys, yet they need to hear a similar message of lovability. I hope the authors' next book will be one with the same message for boys, in a format designed for them, or one that would appeal equally to boys and girls.
Book Description
Snowy is a very smart bear. He knows where to find the best fish, how to catch the biggest snowflakes, and much more. But what he really wants to know is if his mommy will always love him. Mommy reveals her answer in a most delightful way! With pop-up, pull-the-tab, and fold-out surprises, young readers will find lots to enjoy on every page!
Books:
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- Inu-Yasha : A Feudal Fairy Tale, Vol. 1
- Inu Yasha Ani-manga, Volume 20 (Inuyasha Ani-Manga)
- Investing in Duplexes, Triplexes, and Quads: The Fastest and Safest Way to Real Estate Wealth
- Junie B., First Grader: Aloha-ha-ha! (A Stepping Stone Book(TM))
- Keeping Pet Chickens: You don't need much space to Enjoy the Bounty of Fresh Eggs from Your Own Small Flock of Happy Hens
- Landscape Architecture, Fourth Edition
- Last Hope: The Blood Chit Story (Schiffer Military History)
- Manga Mania: Chibi and Furry Characters: How to Draw the Adorable Mini-characters and Cool Cat-girls of Japanese Comics (Manga Mania)
- Mars Needs Moms!
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You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation
That's Not What I Meant!
You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work
