Customer Reviews:
Flat out amazing.......2007-09-26
Rob Bell really connects with his readers in this book and I would recommend it for people of any age
Fabulous perspective with an easy approach.......2007-09-09
With it's provocative title, this book can seem like something to be afraid of. on the contrary, Rob Bell does an excellent job at not only sharing a fair perspective of sex and spirituality both with and without Christian orientation, but he also walks the reader through it quite easily. With an almost Socratic approach, the reader can realize meanings and derive personal conclusions through the authors suggestive questioning (much more pleasant than if the auther were to share an epiphany and use the rest of the book as means of persuasion, especially with such a bold subject)
Sex Is Not The Answer.......2007-09-07
This was an excellent book if you are looking to understand why sex is so prevalent in this day and age when we all seem to be ever more so disconnected from reality.
Let's Talk About Sex.......2007-08-29
I can't say enough good things about this book. It is completely unique. It compares sex to spirituality. Specifically, it compares sex to having an intimate relationship with God. Bell says you can't talk about one without talking about the other. He makes a strong case, although it is not written in a linear style. He meanders from stories to conversations to scenes from the Bible to secular quotes. His writing style is very Eastern. By that, I mean it does not go in a straight line. Instead the writing goes in circles and comes back on itself, allowing your mind to digest Bell's thoughts.
This is what I got out of this book: Our extreme desire for sex is really a desire for a relationship with God. Now, I can just hear people saying right now: "No, uh, I really want sex." Bell is not saying we should do without sex, but rather, sex is a physical expression of our truest desire: to be completely naked in front of someone and be unashamed; to be unconditionally loved and swallowed whole; to be connected with someone in the deepest way possible. In his chapter, Make Whoopee Forever, Bell says he thinks of heaven as one big orgy, where we are all the swallowed into Christ's complete and utter love. The joy and agony of sex, according to Bell, is that you come together but are then torn apart. In heaven, the tearing apart won't happen. It will be connection with all beings around you.
Bell covers all sorts of topics: pornography, male/female relationships, why marriages fail. And he does it in his signature writing style. Short paragraphs, some of them only lasting a sentence. The result is a book that flows and reads quickly.
It is also just a beautiful book to look at and hold. The cover is very smooth and soothing, with stripes in different colors. It kind of reminded me of a desert. The pages have a crisp feel. It is one of those books when you open it and you smell that really good book smell. Lastly, there is a small cracking noise when you open the cover. The pages are a soft pink color. I read a chapter a night and finished it in about a week.
Whether you are Christian or not, I think this book is a winner. It brings a unique perspective to the topic of spirituality. And you may never look at sex the same way again. I think you could give these to age 17 through adult. There is nothing inappropriate in it, but the concepts would be difficult to understand without some mental maturity.
People You Have To Get A Clue.......2007-08-27
It is amazing to read the reviews posted by most people on the topic of this book. "Rob Bell is a genious. I love this book. It is good to know that we were all made in the image of God, and that we all have a higher purpose." A. Nuebert,
"I admire thinkers who are able to distill ideas and express them simply and clearly--a skill that is far more impressive (to me) than pontificating, page after page, about concepts only ten percent of readers will ultimately grasp. Rob Bell is among the most gifted communicators I have read. In EVERY chapter of this book I found a concept that I had not thought of or considered. Downright profound."
"Not what you would expect from a book about sex and God. It will revolutionize the way you view the two."-Julie Bennett
"This is such a spiritual book w/o being preachy. I believe it should be required reading for anyone embarking on a relationship. I plan on giving it to my kids, all grown up, for Christmas." R. Torgensen
"Rob Bell is an excellent communicator. This is his second published book and it is just as good as Velvet Elvis, his first book. I wish I had heard someone talk about spirituality and sexuality like this when I was younger. Instead all I hear about was abstinence stance and no real reason why. This book goes beyond abstinence and looks at our relationship with God and with each other and challenges us to respond." -Ryan T. Samples
Okay, so I know that Rob Bell is an excellent communicator, I have known him since his college days. So was James Jones, Joe Smith, David Karesh, Hitler...But they all lead to the demise of truth. I believe Rob had some good things to say in both Sex God and Velvet Elvis, it is too bad that he didn't mean to say those things. As far as the rest of the ramblings of self-doubt that he displays, it is a tragedy. It amazes me how people (see quotes) can't pick up a BIBLE and see the same things. It amazes me how people are substituting books such as SEX GOD, for the Truth of the Bible. It is the emergent way though. Test everything---whatever you believe as long as God fits in somewhere your Golden. The thing that amazes me is when Rob says that he is not part of the "Emergent Movement" but that is all he is, and all he has ever been. Please don't make the mistake of walking on the very breath of Rob Bell. He is human---he has made and will continue to make mistakes (this book is one of them). 2 Peter 2- But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. they will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying th sovereign Lord who bought them- bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2Peter 2:18 they mouth empty boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful deisres of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping form those who live in error. They promise freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity-for man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. In this case it is Rob Bell himself. When asked where he was living, he said "downtown among the sinners, in a not so nice neighborhood", and that is why he lives in a half-million dollar condo. Alright book, but doesn't replace the Bible, and Rob doesn't replace God.
Book Description
"What happened to the passion we started with?
Why aren't we as close as we used to be?"
PROBLEM: If you are a woman who is unfulfilled in your marriage...if you feel unheard or overburdened...if you quietly live in a state of slow-burn resentment...
PROBLEM: If you are a man unhappy that your partner seems so unhappy with you...if you feel bewildered, unappreciated, or betrayed...
This book offers a solution
Bestselling author and nationally renowned therapist Terrence Real unearths the causes of communication blocks between men and women in this groundbreaking work. Relationships are in trouble; the demand for intimacy today must be met with new skills, and Real -- drawing on his pioneering work on male depression -- gives both men and women those skills, empowering women and connecting men, radically reversing the attitudes and emotional stumbling blocks of the patriarchal culture in which we were raised. Filled with powerful stories of the couples Real treats, no other relationship book is as straight talking or compelling in its innovative approach to healing wounds and reconnecting partners with a new strength and understanding.
Customer Reviews:
Relational Intimacy in an Era of Changing Roles.......2007-08-31
This is an excellent book. Real has thought through couple's issues in a smart way, refreshingly different than many who have preceded him.
In this book, Real faces head-on the reality that many women come into couples work with fierce anger, frustrated by trying to achieve true emotional intimacy with their man. His premise is that many women's responsibilities and aspirations have grown as part of the women's movement and their resulting, empowered roles, during decades when many men's roles and expectations have progressed less dramatically. As difficult as the tone of the anger and complaint, Real suggests the substance of women's frustrations is right-on, which will provide some much needed vindication for women readers.
This book is full of composite examples of couples-therapy sessions where the woman's attitude sounds in complaint and withering anger. The man in these examples sounds clueless, and deeply hurt by the woman's anger. Real's prototypical woman comes off like a nag, shaming while complaining. It is at this point where men typically recoil avoiding facing women's needs, and their own fears.
In Real's analysis, unconscious and almost always unacknowledged entitlement characterizes the man's side of the relationship problems. We were raised to quietly sit back in much that happens in the home, letting things take care of themselves. In reality, things don't really take care of themselves; women are taking care of them. Men's toughest work, it seems, is traditionally as breadwinner outside the home. Once home, perhaps enlightened some by the women's movement, we may do some chores and help some with the kids. But we may also quietly avoid the challenging work of true relational intimacy with our woman. The man often sees no problem, or at least no rational issue.
The man may think, "what's the problem: I am nice and thoughtful. I don't rage or abuse....." But the rub may be in his disengagement, and in his urgent avoidance of shame. Having studied male depression (I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression"), Real understands that men's issues are often driven by shame, where women's are often driven by fear.
Because women are most heavily tasked with maintaining relationship, and are very often dependent on the man for economic and child-rearing reasons, women's fears are usually first expressed circumspectly, on eggshells, rather than angrily. The fierce anger arises later -- after more delicate strategies have maddeningly failed. The anger feels like poison to the man.
Real's approach is much needed, and this book not only explains unflinchingly, but suggests ways out of the deadlock. There have been important contributions along the way - e.g., Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. And there are libraries full of hyped up, supposed love-life panaceas. This fellow has a smart, tough set of insights, with ideas for finding our way out of the wilderness of too many current relationships. Highly recommended, for both men and women, and for couples therapists.
Real has since published an excellent follow up book structured a bit more as a "how to" guide: The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work. This is also very highly recommended.
Not convinced.......2007-06-08
Mr. Real asserts as an established fact that traumatizing events in childhood cause us to adopt patriarchal male and female roles in our adult lives and in our relationships. Even if this were true - and for the record I wasn't convinced - he has precious little in his book that a lay reader can take away and use. I found his writing style to be pedantic and touchy-feely at the same time (not an easy thing to pull off), and sprinkled with long stretches of incomprehensible gibberish. Why use one little word when ten big ones will do? The guy just wouldn't get to the point.
Professionals in this field may have a better appreciation for the style and content of this book, but I would not recommend it to those in need of counsel.
How Can I get through to you?.......2007-05-12
This book was written before the Marriage book Terry wrote. In some ways I got more information that I needed. If you are trying to improve any relationship this book is a must read. Terry Real is right on!
A must read for therapists as well as couples.......2006-10-22
I read this book to get continuing eductaion credits for my social work license. It's completely changed how I look at the therapy process. It's also completely changed how I look at my marriage. It provides an effective, yet not impossibly complicated, roadmap through the dilemmas and no-win situations in which couples find themselves. It gave me insights into what I was doing wrong, and ideas of how I could quickly change.
Is this a male bashing book? I thought so at first. As much as I liked the book, I resented being stereotyped as a male with a certain commitment to accomplishment at the expense of vulnerability and feelings. I'm actually just the opposite, a product of 1960's encounter groups. Toward the end of the book, though, Real does acknowledge that every now and then there is a male who has the opposite problem. He's in touch with feelings, the nurturing side of life, but perhaps viewed as a loser in the world of accomplishments. And that fits me dead on!
The book's style isn't typical for a book about therapy. There's a great deal of self-revelation on Real's part, and also many passages that would pass as high-caliber fiction were they not obviously based on fact. Real is a skillful writer. And that makes him easier to read.
Not male-bashing, but patriarchy bashing.......2006-03-07
I am applying to graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and I believe this book will be my guiding star. I've read a few reviews that claim it to be "male-bashing" or "all women are right, all men are wrong". Those who have written this must have not read the caring, empathic way that Terry has addressed the hurt that disconnection has caused these men he chronicles. I have many wonderful men in my life - a caring father, two wonderful older brothers - and I understand Terry's point that masculine in not necessarily an assignation of gender. There are masculine and feminine qualities, and both genders can have any of them. Predominantly, the men have masculine ones - however, did these reviewers not notice the example of the woman who fled to the "power-up" position in a masculine fashion? The response is wrong - not the gender that has this response forced upon them.
Relationships, or relational skills, are feminine skills. Men are not generally taught them - this does not make them "wrong" and it isn't "bashing" to say so. Terry's practical guide on how to reestablish connection speaks to the men, yes, but also to the woman - so she can learn how to make her voice heard in a respectful, loving way.
My advice to any man who would like to read this is to put down your shield, and realize that your women want to LOVE you, not beat you. That's patriarchial thinking right there - this isn't a war. It's a relationship, and it's about love.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent and clear-headed presentation on a much needed topic.......2007-04-18
This book delves into a topic that is essential for all adults to understand, but unfortunately relatively few do - namely the differences between men and women.
This topic has been muddied with many lies and deceptions, but Brain Sex cuts through them and tells you what academics and teachers know to be true, but are afraid to say, because they will lose their positions and/or have their funding cut by the PC thought police.
This book clearly shows that sexual differences between males and females are primarily an issue of biology. Therefore the differences will not go away through coercion and re-education programs. Contrast this to feminist claims that gender differences are environmental (and can therefore be modified by putting aprons on men and football pads on women).
Another reviewer referred to Deborah Blum's book "Sex on the Brain". That book is far inferior to this one. Blum has a feminist axe to grind and seems to be distressed at where the science is taking things. In contrast, this book dispenses with feminist preconceptions and propaganda, and gives you the facts.
Brain Sex is a classic.
common sense retold.......2007-03-23
Its not politically correct and will no doubt anger the believers in feminist dogma. The information is based on generalizations and averages, not individuals. To say that you cannot compare males and females because there are differences within males and within females is illogical. Thats like saying you can't compare groups of individuals because the individuals that make up the group aren't identical. The reason its so easy to anger feminists is because their beliefs are unsound and they know it, every truth spoken destabilizes their very core.
Brain Sex.......2007-03-13
Excellent,based in scientific research. It is not a "sexual book" but a well written book about hormones,thinking, acting and why men and women
are different.
Fabulous.......2007-03-12
There is a difference between the male and female brain...Fascinating study that helps me appreciate the difference.
Dated, but still a great read.......2005-06-04
"Brain Gender" would have been a more apropos title, but I suppose 'sex' sells, literally.
Sometimes this book goes out on a limb, but they always make it known that's where they're headed. It provides great insight into gender differences and relates perceived behavior and experience to biological discoveries; some proven, some in question, and some merely opinions. It presents the information in a coherent and enjoyable manner, I highly suggest picking it up.
Average customer rating:
- Brand new (old) approach to sex!
- Peace Between the Sheets
- Interesting, but some odd leaps in logic....
- makes great sense to me :)
- A Missing Component of Sexuality Studies
|
Peace Between the Sheets: Healing with Sexual Relationships
Marnia Robinson
Manufacturer: Frog, Ltd.
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ASIN: 1583940871
Release Date: 2003-11-17 |
Book Description
Peace Between the Sheets offers a simple but revolutionary analysis: modern relationships often founder because of dysfunctional sexual habits. But when couples shift away from "heat-centered" toward "heart-centered" sexual interactions, they gain a mutual satisfaction that transcends physical gratification. Robinson advocates teaching the body a different response to sexual arousal that is driven by love over biology. The benefits include reducing stress, rejuvenating the body, helping overcome addictions, and developing a positive outlook. Over two parts, "Why" and "How," the book devotes twelve chapters to topics like "Why do We Fall Out of Love?," "Outwitting Biology," "Want to Try It?," and "The Ecstatic Exchanges." Peace Between the Sheets tackles a delicate issue with sound reasoning, solid research, and a healthy dose of humor.
Customer Reviews:
Brand new (old) approach to sex!.......2007-06-11
Finally someone has mananged to explain in detail the real reason of "why relationships fail?"
And what could that be? The thing we love the most in sex...the spasm. The cure?....Sex without spasm.
Ancients have long taught this practice of Sacred Sex. But modern humanity has had a unconscious understanding of the sexual energy and how it should be used, we only know 2 things when it comes to sex: creating more bodies and egotistical genital & self gratification.
Marnia Robinson shows the way to have sex consciously without ego, without perversity.
The book is in 2 parts.
-The First deals with explaining Sacred Sex from a modern scientific point of view along with taking into account ancient spiritual sources on sex.
-The Second deals with a series of exchange excercises where a couple can learn to connect with each other taking slow steps before culminating with the sexual act.
The author spent 12 years researching the topic and shares many stories of her trials and errors, and profound discoveries. Her knowledge of sexual matters is as vast as a sexologist but with the added bonus of being a practicioner. (She is a real sexologist compared to the materialistic sexologists who are constricted to biology).
Peace Bewteen the Sheets could save your relationship or someone's you know. This book is amazing!
Peace Between the Sheets.......2007-05-14
Now I understand --- after so many years of making the same mistakes!
Interesting, but some odd leaps in logic...........2007-04-29
I rated this book a 4 because I think it has many good features and a message that a lot of people might need to hear. In reality, I think it merits a 3.5 because although the author has a good background, I found she made some leaps in logic that may not apply to everyone.
The book starts off by explaining that old evolutionary hardwired responses often undermine love relationships. So far, she is on solid ground. Most evolutionary biologists agree that we often unconsciously act on hidden mating agendas and various statistic support that many times these behaviors are not in our best interests. David Buss has written a lot about this and you can see what he has to say in the excellent book, The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating.
The author continues on to explain how certain neurochemicals associated with orgasm and the pleasure/reward part of the limbic system affect our perception of our partner, bonding and mating behavior. A lot of what the author says is true and you can get more detail on this in the book, The Female Brain or other books.
The primary premise seems to get off track, however, when the author makes the assertion that having orgasms during sex leads to dysfunctional behavior. While I think it may be true that this could be the case, I don't buy that it is ALWAYS the case or true universally.
I think the problem here is that the author makes a biological argument and then bring in some psychology to back up her argument. For example, she mentions that many people feel they will be engulfed or annhilated after orgasm and this leads to fear which causes separation. While this may be true, it is most likely to be true when there have been developmental failures along the way, the self is weak, etc. She doesn't include this part of the picture and seems to overgeneralize. I could imagine that for many people the challenge of one of these two reactions with the right support from the Self structure would lead to healthy risk and vulnerability, which would in reality increase intimacy and closeness. This argument isn't given any weight at all. I will return to this point later.
In the next part of the book, there is guidance for fostering deeper intimacy by depriving oneself of orgasm as a routine matter of course. While I agree this practice can be useful to appreciate and nurture other aspects of the relationship such as affection, intimate conversation, etc., I don't agree that this is necessary or even desirable for many people.
I am a 45 year old male and have graduate degrees in biochemistry and psychology. As an undergraduate I majored in Biological Research and I have been studying comparative religion for over 20 years. My personal experience is that regular sexual intercourse with orgasm brings me closer to my partner, makes me want to be with my partner even more and is quite bonding. In general, I don't experience the fear of merging that the author talks about or being annhilated. From my experience in personal growth coaching and from the literature on love, I think it is safe to say this is the case for many other people. This seems to be another flaw in logic. However, I do advocate if those feelings come up in a strong way, one ought to consider the level of trust vs. the level of commitment. Some of what Ms. Robinson labels as normal reactions may actually be tendencies that don't consider factors such as personal development, conditioning, the influence of culture, the presence of shame or guilt from the family of origin, etc. In short, sexual behavior is complicated, I think this book takes an overly simplistic view of the true situation.
Another argument the author makes is that compatability is not a key point in dysfunctional patterns, but rather it is all biology. I disagree with this point as well. As Sam Hamburg says in another excellent book, Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map, compatability seems to cause commitment rather than vice versa. In the same book, he points out that marriage is a PUBLIC affair, while love is often private. This often leads to third parties having a lot of input into marital decisions, which may in part account for the rate of divorce, infidelity, etc. In his many years of counseling, he has seen that people who are compatible on three dimensions which he terms practical, wavelength and chemistry DON'T find it difficult to keep their commitments and that sex is bonding. The famous book A General Theory of Love elaborates on some of the biological and psychological reasons why this may be so.
Perhaps by now you are wondering why I am rating this book a four if I have a lot of critical things to say about it. The answer is that there is so much focus on communication, sexual technique and the importance of sex in relationship literature that this book offers a good alternative viewpoint. While I don't agree with the extreme view that is presented in this book, I do agree that hidden mating agendas CAN undermine relationships and that couple's often take each other for granted. If more couples focused on affection, conversation and a heart-centered connection, I suspect we would have more happy couples. Practicing abstaining orgasm could be a useful practice along these lines, but I don't believe it is necessary or the only practice that could enhance people's appreciation for each other and ward off sexual boredom.
The emphasis in the media, magazines and in popular culture in general seems to err on the other side to me. In other words, this cultural mileau seems to promote unrealistic expectations, many of which are handed down from the period of courtly love. In other words, we are conditioned to have high expectations, magical thinking and do a lot of projection in positive and negative ways. I think this is at least as important as what is going on with neurochemicals in the brain after orgasm. However, this book is useful in that it emphasizes that focusing more on love and less on sexual release would allow one to see their partner from a loving space. I wholeheartedly agree with this in moderation, but the extreme version presented here does offset a culture bias.
This is basically a good book with a lot of excellent information. I think the author has many worthwhile observations, but I don't think this is THE answer... it is AN answer of many to a very complicated and paradoxical area. I think a broader approach would have served most people better and I feel the author relied too much on her own opinion more than ALL of the AVAILABLE data. I suspect her research in this area took place once her opinion was already established and this may have biased her results and conclusions. I think it would be useful to apply something such as Ken Wilber's Integral Model to this complex problem because I think this book just leaves out to much. You can read about Wilber's model in the very accessible A Brief History of Everything. If your interest in some of the deeper psychological issues and considerations is strong, I would also consider reading Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for Love and Power as well as The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment.
Again, my overall rating is a 3.5 and I found the book worthwhile to read. I believe it could help a lot of couples to be more appreciative of each other and have a better sex life. However, I would take some of the information with a grain of salt or at least balance it with other more complex perspectives that consider other aspects of the issues.
makes great sense to me :).......2007-04-09
Marnia Robinson lays it out very simply in this book. I was already introduced into this method of making love through reading religious and spiritual texts, but this book helped me to REALLY understand the 'WHY's and the 'HOW's. How does a normal person like me ACTUALLY put these things into PRACTICE? That is what this book is good for, very practical. She not only explains the science behind it extremely clearly, but also she prescribes a 2-3 week program to get you and your lover started. This book came just in time to save me and my fiancee :) One of the reviews says reading this book was one "AHA!" after another, this is so very true.
worth the $10 for sure!
A Missing Component of Sexuality Studies .......2006-05-21
Marnia's book offers a unique and engaging discussion of orgasm addiction and the destructive patterns that develop from greedy sexual behevior in relationships, as well as a curriculum for partners seeking to break this cycle. This book is an excellent starting place for people seeking to develop a practice involving sexual qi gong, sexual tantra, or sexual magick. Keep in mind, however, that while Robinson's take on orgasm addiction and the damage to relationships is spot-on, her solution is markedly missing vital componants of energy cultivation and circulation that are the cornerstone of the sexual-spiritual practices mentioned above!
Average customer rating:
- Definitely not a tight plot
- dont let this one be your first read
- Journalistic not scientific
- sex on whose brain?
- Tedious
|
Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women
Deborah Blum
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
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Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0140263489 |
Amazon.com
For centuries, links between biology and behavior have been mined for ammunition in the gender wars. Western science has often tainted the discussion by skewing the norm toward men so that the biological underpinnings of their weaknesses and strengths are applauded while those of women are denigrated. Sex on the Brain is a chatty, fairly evenhanded report on a broad range of animal and human studies intended to provide insight into hot-button issues such as aggression, nurturing behavior, infidelity, homosexuality, hormonal drives, and sexual signals. According to one researcher, "We inherit the behavior essentially of our past." Morning sickness, for example, which steers some women away from strong tastes and smells, may once have protected babes in utero from toxic items. Infidelity is a way for men to ensure genetic immortality. Interestingly, when we deliberately change sex-role behavior--say men become more nurturing or women more aggressive--our hormones and even our brains respond by changing, too.
Book Description
Go beyond the headlines and the hype to get the newest findings in the burgeoning field of gender studies. Drawing on disciplines that include evolutionary science, anthropology, animal behavior, neuroscience, psychology, and endocrinology, Deborah Blum explores matters ranging from the link between immunology and sex to male/female gossip styles. The results are intriguing, startling, and often very amusing. For instance, did you know that. . .
*Male testosterone levels drop in happy marriages; scientists speculate that women may use monogamy to control male behavior
*Young female children who are in day-care are apt to be more secure than those kept at home; young male children less so
*Anthropologists classify Western societies as "mildly polygamous" The Los Angeles Times has called Sex on the Brain "superbly crafted science writing, graced by unusual compassion, wit, and intelligence, that forms an important addition to the literature of gender studies."
Customer Reviews:
Definitely not a tight plot.......2005-06-26
Deborah Blum was "raised in one of those university-based, liberal-elite families" and as such, was raised to believe that there were no differences between men and women. It wasn't until she had her own career, a husband, and two boys that she actually realized there were basic biological differences between male and female behaviour. Her son was playing dinosaur and "I looked down at him one day as he was snarling around my feet and doing his toddler best to gnaw off my right leg, and I thought, This is not a girl thing-- this goes deeper than culture."
So begins her book. Much of the evidence that is presented is done as studies of sex in other animals (the birds and the monkeys- yes, literally) and her lines of reasoning as to "how this happened" are based along lines of possible biological evolutional forces- things that she admits are really little more than educated guesses dressed up as theories.
The chapter on the differences between male and female brains was interesting in that she spent about 90% of the time either denying the validity of the studies or minimizing the verified physical results. (Sure, that spot is bigger, but we don't know that it does anything.)
Occasionally, you come across a gem of the absurd. This one is a good example:
"One leading French scientist of the nineteenth century sought to prove the existence and potency of this magical male stuff [testosterone] by injecting himself with pureed dog testes. He insisted that the extract boosted his energy and sex drive and enabled him to pee in a higher arc, a major issue for men, obviously, in contrast to women." (pg. 158, beginning of chapter six)
She is quite open and forthright about her own left of center feminist viewpoint on the whole subject, and freely gives her opinion on what she WANTS to be true (and making it clear that it IS her opinion).
One basic concept to follow underneath it all is that if evolution has made us "this way" (biologically), there is no reason to conclude that it has stopped now... and since we have the ability to change our culture, we may tap into evolutionary pressures to change the biology of our race in regards to the basic makeup of our sexes. At the end of the book, she admits she has no idea if this is really possible, but it's obvious that she feels it certainly ought to be. Given her basic premises, it is a logical conclusion. If you look at the past as having created this current biology from something else, why should the process stop now?
But to sum it up, I have to agree with the comments about tediousness, in particular towards the end. The last third or so of the book was read simply so I could be satisfied that I had read it, not because it still had my riveted and interested attention. It would have benefited either from a better organization of the material into a coherent overall development (aka a plot, if this were fiction) or of simply dropping the last third of the book.
dont let this one be your first read.......2005-06-04
Having read six books on this exact subject in the past week, I feel information is poorly presented in this one. Sometimes misleading, and sometimes even contradictory.
I highly suggest that you read other books and/or papers on the subject before braving this one. Even then, take this read with a grain of agenda-salt.
Journalistic not scientific.......2005-03-11
Blum's style is horrendous. She traipses from one anecdote about her son to the findings of scientists she has interviewed without the blink of an eye. She does not so much advance arguments or conclusions as much as merely advance dumbed-down versions of scientific studies. Matters such as which questions underlie the research and what the research reveals are interspersed with bad puns and Blum's own opinion as to whether something is insulting or disgusting. Her attempts to lighten the fare are patronizing and distracting.
She wrote way too much about non-humans. This or that primate species is simply not the human species. The differences between them are so great that their relevance for the human species does not seem to be established.
Most of the research she chose was physiological, behavioral, and anthropological. Evolutionary biology (a.k.a. sociobiology) gets only occasional treatment, despite its recent progress in explaining male and female differences.
Note also that the book was published in 1997. I write in 2005, so the book is eight years old. Try to find something more up to date on the subject.
Overall, the book's faults can most easily be attributed to the fact that the author is a journalist and not a scientist. She sarificed too much to appealing to the general readership and is not well-schooled in the science of human sex differences herself.
sex on whose brain?.......2005-02-07
I gave this one one star, but it might rate two. If you're looking for a chatty, rambling, disorganized treatise on gender and biology, and think that you can really learn something valuable about humans from the animal kingdom, then this book is for you. I bought this book because I thought it was going to be about the brain. It's more about gender behavior. You're left to draw you own concllusions about what's going on in the brain. There's gotta be a better book than this.
Tedious.......2004-05-18
It as only recently I was aware that Deborah Blum had written a book called the Monkey Wars, about the animal rights/ vivisectionist's debate. I was not aware of that previous book whist I was reading this one. But it comes to no surprise, that her obvious slant or justification would be on the vivisectionist side. Again I read Sex on The Brain without any prior knowledge of her other writings. The first three chapters relating to hormonal, and testosterone and oestrogen studies, and female male brain size - involved nearly every page describing how cats, monkeys, and rodents had been sliced up, been castrated, cells extracted, brought up in cruel studies (ie cat forced to never see daylight). To access a possible link to human equivalent mind and hormonal changes, ie brain size observation, and testosterone and hormonal levels changes. But as any advocate of valid and proper testing would argue, that animal testing is unnecessary and cruel and non conclusive. Within the first two chapters from pages 18 to 63, she trys to convince the reader that there is some validity in accessing mood changes and brain changes from animal testing (and applying to human brains) - but fails to but conclude the chapter with, and I quote " The contrast (human brains) are too tiny and still far too mysterious". Point one for anti vivisectionist's argument
Sex on the Brain is a tedious book, with an arduous writing style. There are however some interesting points raised in the book, regarding male aggression, risk taking and cognitive skills of both men and women. Unfortunately they end up contradiction each other. Yes men are aggressive due to high levels of testosterone, but female chimpanzees are just as aggressive. Deborah Blum doesn't really explain in detail the correlation to human aggression, and why men and women share similarities.
I found segments in the book that talked about risk taking and why men and women are different in that sense, but it came across in somewhat of sexist overtone. That men take unnecessary risks and women sit and ponder a collective solution - which is? Never explained in any biological sense. The questions would be asked, why do huge portions of women smoke cigarettes, and take unnecessary risks to their own health. How does it differ from male posturing in regards to male personal risk, ie drinking, excess etc. Or biologically does it assume that we take the risk to show some social adequacy?
Also other confusing segments in the book regarding male female attraction, eg women choose men on immune systems similar to them, through possible similarities in appearance. Yet early stages in the book describe how it would be wise for a evolving specie (humans) to mix up their genes, to create stronger offspring. Indifference, not a similarity. So what is it?
Sex on Brain also doesn't go into enough detail research on cultural influence and evolution, in which cultural influence has far out weighed evolution biology, consider the declining western birth rates, women are now having children into their 30's, increasing the risk of down syndrome.
The is so many questions still left un answered, although Sex on The Brain doesn't profess to have the answers. It does how ever relay some confusing findings, that don't seem to stick with any real application - part from the already obvious.
Book Description
Orgasms, sexual inventions, spirituality, high-tech porn, gender-blending, hustling, masturbation, politics, airplane sex, disabilities, sex magick, biblical erotica, advertising, first times, sex in space, asexuality, group sex . . . are you ready for Disinformation's look at the world of sex?
Master anthologizer Russ Kick has immersed himself in the many and varied worlds of sex writing, producing a definitive collection exposing reality that's way, way stranger than XXX fiction. Profiled in The New York Times as an "information archaeologist," Russ digs where others would not think to look for delicious details on the present, past, and future of sex, including:
The first-ever look at the FBI's porn collection (the Obscene Reference File), complete with reproduced documents
FAA reports about people having sex on commercial flights-the so-called "mile-high club"
A look at brilliant, kinky, and scarce sex-zines, such as Frighten the Horses, Taste of Latex, Future Sex, and Pucker Up, as well as Sexology, published by Hugo Gernsback, the father of science fiction
The forgotten sex books of Charles Atlas ("Hey, quit kicking sand in our faces, you bully!")
This massive, oversized anthology features a panoply of sexperts, everyone from prostitutes to professors, legends to newcomers, sexual revolutionaries to sexologists and beyond, providing a varied and unexpected look at sex, challenging our notions of what is possible and in turn exciting, enervating, frightening, and freaking us out.
Russ Kick is the editor of You Are Being Lied To, Everything You Know Is Wrong, and Abuse Your Illusions. He is the author of 50 Things You're Not Supposed To Know Volumes 1 & 2 and The Disinformation Book of Lists. He lives in Tucson, Arizona.
Customer Reviews:
A Challenging Review to Write.......2007-06-03
Oh what a hard review to write. I was going to start with the section headings, but that would get the unwelcome attention of the Amazon word filters. Then I was going to start describing highlights from the anthology but I ran into the same challenge. Then I looked at the other reviews and they were either pressed for time or ran into the same challenges as I did.
So, how about a generic impression - a lame, toned down version of a beautiful, powerful, volume. It's a really good assemblage of the subject matter in first-hand accounts, studies, deviancies and vignettes. It gives the reader insight into the truths behind stereotypes and misconceptions. It gives the reader a glimpse into the minds of the real people who live lives different than the accepted norm. It's a great volume.
I recommend it.
- CV Rick
Spectacular.......2007-02-07
A wonderful collection of stories, and something new to learn almost every chapter. A must read for everyone.
The highs are very high indeed.......2006-09-15
Like any anthology, it's uneven. You'll love some of the stories, merely like some, and maybe even be indifferent to or hate a few. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss 16 bucks or so goodbye. You'll be entertained, aroused, surprised, and squicked. The batting average is good, you get a LOT of reading for your money, and it covers ground that hasn't been visited by other anthologies of sex writing.
Great, hilarious, and distrurbing all at the same time.......2006-02-01
This book is amazing. It's a series of shorter stories/articles so you can always tell when something you aren't interested in will stop (instead of having to skim on and trying to find the end of the section). A lot of incredible information, some sweet stories, some funny, some that made me shocked, a great book!
Fun and Games!.......2005-10-25
While I wouldn't exactly call myself a Russ Kick fan, I love, love, love this book. By turns disturbing, funny and sweet, it's a super fun read. Even if you consider yourself a sexpert, I'm sure you will still learn a thing or two from this awesomely sexy anthology!
Book Description
Tantra may be a 5,000-year-old spiritual tradition, but it’s also an astonishingly powerful tool for contemporary sexual empowerment. Tantra Between the Sheets teaches Tantric techniques that enable men and women to gain sexual confidence, become multiorgasmic, and satisfy their partner in the most intimate, soulful ways. Similar to yoga or meditation, Tantra is about accessing the energy stored within the body and being alive to all the senses. Whether readers are interested in deepening their current relationship, discovering more about sexuality, or simply picking up some great sex tips, Tantra Between the Sheets shows how surprisingly easy it is for anyone to benefit from this ancient practice. This book is beautifully designed with a hip, stylish look that includes 40 black-and-white photographs.
Customer Reviews:
An excellent introduction to the world of Tantric.......2006-02-20
As one reviewer put it, this book at first glance makes you wonder, where's the nitty gritty? Where's all the kinky sexual positions that every other sex book has? But I think you have to take a step back and see what this book is really about.
For this Valentine's Day, I searched for a book that could help my husband and I grow closer together sexually. However, in reading this book, there's a lot more to it that just sex.
If you're looking for books on sexual positions, there are other books out there that can help you achieve this, but if you're looking for an intro to Tantric...something that might help open your eyes to all the aspects of a sexual relationship...then this book might be for you. But I will stress that it is more of an into to Tantric so eventually, it may leaving you wanting more. But for a beginner, I think it's a lovely into. It discusses many Western myths of sexuality, it gives tons of exercises, it covers how our sexuality can change over the course of a relationship/lifetime, and it also give further resources if it is a topic that you would like to further explore.
Another aspect of this book that I loved was the photos, they are all artistic done, which is rare to find in the sexuality section of the bookstore.
Amazing........2005-10-15
This is a brilliant, brilliant book. It's very stylish and it explains everything in a clear, thoughtful intelligent way. Best of all it has lots of suggestions for games and tricks to do with your partner ( the one with the fruit was my favourite) . I love this book (and now, so does my husband). Get it and your life will change.
Mine did!
Waiting For The Nitty Gritty...........2005-09-14
Though this book was an interesting read it felt as if I was reading a long intoduction to Tantra that never actually got to the "nitty gritty". I did giggle a few times but it never really got to the heart of it. If you really want to know about Tantra I would read another book. That's what I plan on doing. This is really an intro to Tantra and never gets into the "how to" about it. It bounces around about all the benefits but never tells you how to start with the exception of a few choice exercises and then still doesn't go into much detail. Hopefully the next book (Sex and the Perfect Lover) will shed more light and be of more help because that is, in essence, why I'm reading these. To help my own marriage. It really left me wanting to know where the rest of the information was. :(
Book Description
Gloria Wekker analyzes the phenomenon of mati work, an old practice among Afro-Surinamese working-class women in which marriage is rejected in favor of male and female sexual partners. Wekker vividly describes the lives of these women, who prefer to create alternative families of kin, lovers, and children, and gives a fascinating account of women's sexuality that is not limited to either heterosexuality or same-sex sexuality. She offers new perspectives on the lives of Caribbean women, transnational gay and lesbian movements, and an Afro-Surinamese tradition that challenges conventional Western notions of marriage, gender, identity, and desire. Bringing these women's voices to the forefront, she offers an extensive and groundbreaking analysis of the unique historical, religious, psychological, economic, linguistic, cultural, and political forces that have shaped their lives.
Customer Reviews:
Simply Excellent!.......2007-08-20
This book is an excellent blend of anthropology, ethnic studies, women's studies, gay studies, and postcolonial studies. Progressives bemoan studies that fail to consider race, class, gender, and sexuality together; well, this is an important intervention in that dearth of material. For those who do not understand the difference between essentialism and constructionism, this will make you understand.
Professor Griff, Winnie Mandela, Robert Mugabe and so many others make false claims that Africa had no homosexuality until Europeans intervened. Dr. Wekker disproves that by showing how Surinamese mati are influenced greatly by West African religion and principles. You could almost say this is an Afrocentric support of Blacks in same-sex romantic relationships. This is a book that Black gay male and lesbian activists all over the Diaspora need to own and read. Some may want to read this book along side "African Homosexualities."
When quoting informants, Dr. Wekker uses their actual Surinamese language and then translates it into English. For polyglots and those familiar with the Dutch-speaking world, this may be informative. However, there is a way that it just takes up space. This book would have been 50 pages shorter without it. Perhaps, Dr. Wekker wants readers to inhabit multilingual terrains, as Gloria Anzaldua did. Still, I think readers like me who don't understand any form or Dutch will skip through a lot. I did love some of the colorful idioms and phrases here. One Surinamese woman says, "Only god knows why he didn't give the horse horns." I'm still trying to find a way to use that phrase in 21st-century America! (By the way, the author writes in American English, rather than British English.)
Dr. Wekker tries to "keep it real." She stands against bourgeois posing intended to impress elite audiences. Still, there is a way that this book makes us Black people look bad. The book is filled with violence, sexual promiscuity, womanizing from either gender, disparagement of marriage, and other things that some may find objectionable. I do worry about what would happen if this book gets into the wrong people's hands.
You can see and hear the author in a documentary called "Middle Sexes" narrated by Gore Vidal. As women's studies departments become gender studies departments, readers may want to peruse this alongside Bana-Shute's book on Surinamese men.
Amazon.com
Beneath its jovial, insouciant, sexy attitude, Jack Hart's Straight, a collection of frisky first-person tales in which straight-identified men end up having sex with other men, embodies a curious political and cultural collision. One of the mandates of the gay liberation movement, which emerged after the Stonewall riots of June, 1969, was that every gay person had the responsibility to "come out" and be openly gay. Yet postmodern theory informs us that the very categories of "gay" and "straight" may be, well, easily constructed identities that conceal far more complicated realities. On the surface, Straight conforms to the erotic "letters" genre pioneered by magazines like First Hand and brought into book form by Hart's own My First Time and My Biggest O, but reading through the book you are struck, again and again, by the naturalness and innocence of the situations. While an initial glance at the anthology may remind you of the old joke, "Q: What is the difference between a gay man and a straight man? A: A six-pack," few of the stories involve deception to get the "heterosexual" participants interested in sexual activity. For the most part, sex play here is eagerly sought after and thoroughly enjoyed. Straight delivers on its softcore fantasy promise, but the underlying theme--that the words we use to classify ourselves are, at best, inexact and often misleading--is quite serious. --Michael Bronski
Customer Reviews:
Very Bad Porn.......2007-01-09
I bought this book thinking that it was going to be a collection of well written, thought provoking, true stories of encounters between gay and straight men. What a mistake! It is pure porn and, in my opinion, most of the stories are fantasies rather than reality. On top of that, the stories are poorly written. It took me 10 minutes to read this book because I've read it all before. Total junk and a total waste of money. If I could've given this book 0 stars I would have.
When good they're Excellent, when bad they're very bad........2006-11-28
This book is awesome, and would be worthwhile just for the beautiful and hopeful story, "Christmas". That and some of the others show apparently real, deep and highly arousing narrative of straight men and their real feelings and discovery of them for each other and fearful, tentative to blindingly passionate masculine sex. The stories seem authentic, unlike it's awful sequel, even perhaps the most despicable ones. Most are flawed like the real humans we are but moving as well as truly arousing and that's how it should be. Real stories, real emotion, real sex. I recommend it. Hopefully Mr. Hart reads this and any future attempts puts together not porn, but this, and hopefully even better, I want to read more of loving, almost holy stories that are out there. In fact, I have a real life straight and gay guy story with it's turmoil but comes out righteous and hopeful and loving, tho not quite how you'd expect, they exist. Thank you for "Christmas". Enjoy!
Don't believe everything you read.......2006-06-08
This book, while it comes across as quite erotic, reads like a collection of letters to Penthouse. None of the stories ring true. None of the stories have that uncomfortable fumbling of first encounters, the nervousness of being caught. It reads like straight out porn. Fine. This "gets the job done" if you are looking for a literary Viagra but in no way are any of these stories any more than out and out fiction. Not a single word jumps off the page with any ounce of authenticity. They all seem plausible, but the manner in which they are written (and in some cases exagerated) made me feel completely manipulated. No one I know has ever had a first encounter with a "straight guy" that ever sounded like these.
From the Publisher.......2006-01-06
"Jack Hart, best known for his collections of real-life sexual adventures between men My First Time, My Biggest O, and Heat, has compiled a new anthology in which gay men describe in their own words the couplings they've had with men who did not seem on first appearance to be open to having gay sex. Among the surprising seductions detailed in this collection: A man initiates into gay sex his small town's biggest womanizer; a man drafted to entertain the groom-to-be during a bridal shower discovers just how open the upcoming marriage will be; a reporter interviewing a straight TV star (no names!) comes back with a titillating story; a military man tells of the one time in his career he let down his sexual guard--for the husband of his best friend; and an inexperienced college freshman finds that a straight-acting frat boy is both open-minded and openmouthed. Straight? is Jack Harts freshest collection and points out that indeed truth can be stranger--and hotter--than fiction. Review courtesy of Alyson Publications"--© zebraz
The mind games some guys play!.......2003-01-29
"Straight?" serves up some 50 true accounts of sexually straight-identified men who explore their "curiosity" about same-sex encounters and, in the process, challenges the validity of labels like "straight" and "gay." In most of these true narratives, the common thread is less the sexual labels we and others apply to us individually and more man's basic need (carnal or otherwise) for the touch of someone of the same gender. As someone myself identified as "straight" with some sexual experiences with other "straight" men, the turn-on is less sexual and more the feeling of simply being wanted. The stories in this compilation do more than offer some sizzling hot descriptions of man-to-man sex. They also ask the fundamental question if labels ("straight," "gay," "bi") are even relevant, why it seems (on both a private and societal level) that anything related to homosexuality prompts serious questions of one's sexual preferences and why anything related to same-gender interaction has anything to do with sex at all. In the end, does it really matter? For anyone not interested in such a debate, however, and is looking for nothing more than steamy literature, this book has just about anything that caters to any taste.
Average customer rating:
- All African American Couples Should Own!
- Leave your Ego behind when you read this book.....
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Friends, Lovers, and Soulmates: A Guide to Better Relationships Between Black Men and Women
Dr. Darlene Hopson
Manufacturer: Fireside
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Accessories:
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philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
ASIN: 0671505610 |
Book Description
Are you looking for a special companion? Frustrated because you can't seem to communicate with the person you are with? Determined to meet someone whose vision matches yours? If so, Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is for you!
Filled with self-assessments, dozens of case studies, and an appendix of organizations, Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates is more than just a relationship book for Black men and women. It is a guide you can use at any stage in your life, whether you want to figure out why you don't currently have a relationship or want to enhance your existing relationship. There is no magic wand to create the nourishing bonds we so desperately need and deserve, but with hard work and the guidance that you can find in this book, a healthy, nurturing, and loving relationship can be yours.
Customer Reviews:
All African American Couples Should Own!.......2003-03-05
This book is one that "ALL" African American couples should own. My professor used it as the main text in his class and it not only helps you understand yourself but your mate as well. It also gives you insight on why we behave in the manner in which we do, and provides exercises to help you sustain your relationships. The authors are African American Husband and Wife Psychologist who also practice what they've written.
Leave your Ego behind when you read this book............2000-11-03
I say that because in reading and understanding the husband/wife authors, you will become humble and start looking for opportunities to become more of a soulmate to your lover or friend. I agree that a person can indeed become jaded or exasperated with the "games" that men and women play on each other! Sometimes a person wonders how did their parents or grandparents ever get together! This book was one of the FIRST of the truly HELPFUL books in the Iyanla Vanzant, Maya Angelou, Dr. Ron Elmore tradition! This one has the benefit of a very intuitive and intelligent husband and wife team aiding you in the process ! A very good investment. May the reading and applying of the information bring about a healing and lifetime love for you! Peace -ed-
Books:
- SIGN with your BABY Complete Learning Kit: US DVD Version, Book, Training Video (DVD), Quick Reference Guide
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Books Index
Books Home
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- The Opium of the Intellectuals
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Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith (Cover Image May Vary)
Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith
The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical
Searching for God Knows What
Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality
