Book Description
Once again, Dr. Laura Schlessinger strikes an important nerve in our culture. Jumping off her million–copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, which received an incredible response from readers worldwide, in THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE, Dr. Laura exposes the sensitive and loving truth that it is necessary to appreciate the the polarity between masculine and feminine in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage. Both husbands and wives have power in their relationships, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure for themselves the personal satisfaction they yearn for. Using real–life examples from her call–in radio show, and giving us real–life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships, and shows us how marriages can come back from the brink of disaster and divorce.
Customer Reviews:
The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage.......2007-09-16
Dr. Laura, you are amazing! I've been married 25 years to a wonderful man. We have been the best of parents, but have only just begun to be the best of friends and lovers! Thank-you so much for your timeless wisdom. I have already purchased "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage" for our married daughter and son-in-law. I have been recommending your book to everyone! May God continue to do His work of reconciliation with the help of books like yours. Sincerely, Lydia Sherrin
What a bunch of nonsense!.......2007-07-29
Please save your money and do not buy this drivel. Most of this book is a direct and harsh attack on feminists, and feminism in general. Guess what, Dr. Laura? It's 2007, not 1957. She has no practical or specific suggestions for improving a marriage, just general "smile and be pretty, open your legs and don't complain".
Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage Review.......2007-07-28
As with all Dr. Laura products I was very pleased with this purchase. Her books are so much more than meets the eye. She has a gift for showing how deep and wide even the smallest of things affect yourself and those around you. I would recommend this book to any married couple.
Dr Laura.......2007-07-16
Dr Laura gives down to earth excellent recommendations. It is just that most of us are too selfish to follow them. The recommendations are simple common sense solutions to marriage problems that we in our selfishness try to make into difficult solutions. Instead of thinking of our children's welfare we are only concerned with our own. We have our priorities in the wrong place. We need to grow up and become responsible adults.
Proper Care and Feeding of Marrisge.......2007-07-13
I found quite a few hints and tips to use. Couldn't get my husband to even look at it tho.
Customer Reviews:
Just amazing.......2007-09-27
I looked at the book for a whole day before I took a big breath and started reading it. This book will probably save my relationship that I was about to quit. It even gave me more ways to appreciate my significant other. To be read as soon as difficulties occur. It will either save your relationship before the worst of it grows on you or will prevent you from staying in an unhappy relationship.
If your are willing to find your truth, open this book, easy to read, and so practical.
Simple and to the point.......2007-09-24
I already knew where I was at when I bought this book. I was as the book says in "limbo" and it was time to make a decision. I could either stay and try to put my all into it all or leave and start new. Well I decided to leave, because that is the direction I had been headed for awhile, and I just couldn't stay. It was a good choice, a scary one. The book was super to the point and the stories of others definately made me feel not alone.
Personally I choose to be happy and live life to the fullest and not let anything hold me back. I wasn't happy so I did what I needed to.
Hope this helps...
Absolutely helpful!.......2007-09-24
After years of spending a small fortune on marriage guidance, consultants, psychologists, and every other useless adviser on the planet - along came this wonderful book. The book takes the reader through a clear, concise, PRACTICAL, step-by-step approach to making that life changing decision of whether to recommit to or leave a relationship. I found the book to be a breath of fresh air in the choking confusion that accompanies such a decision.
Not a book for people looking for solutions.......2007-09-23
This book simlifies marital problems too much - and it seems the author is more in favor of marraiges ending then staying together. I think this book should come with a warning label - buyer beware!
Confirmed what I had already decided.......2007-09-14
The only error I made with this book is not having purchased it before now! I never realized that I was stuck for years in relationship ambivalence, and was still feeling ambivalent when I ordered the book. I had filed for divorce by the time the book arrived, but decided to read it anyway.
I discovered that the author comprehensively described some of the problems in my marriage in a way that no one else had given voice to before, and I received confirmation that though my decision has been and will continue to be very difficult because of my children, it will ultimately be the right decision.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who needs clarity about their relationship.
Book Description
For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.
He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.
The truth may be He's just not that into you.
Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.
Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mind-sets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
Download Description
He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
Customer Reviews:
Ladies, heed Greg & Liz's advice!.......2007-09-29
This audio book is pure genious! It's straight-shooting, blunt, and full of "tough love" which hopefully will knock some sense into those of us who hang on to guys way too long hoping things will "get better". It's an easy listen, because you know it speaks to you. You will truly feel that Greg & Liz are your caring friends or siblings when you listen to their advice. I only wish Greg's live comedy show incorporated some of the material in the book, rather than the endless vulgarity he seems to think is necessary to be funny in a live performance. Stick to writing books, Greg! That's where your true talent is...
Women, if you must know anything know this: We will ALWAYS dominate you!.......2007-09-25
Please, what a silly book. Why are women so stupid?! Why do they feel they deserve so much?! Sometimes I wish they weren't so stupid...
Ouch! But True!.......2007-09-19
What I like most about this book is that it doesn't allow any wiggle room for excuses. (My excuses *love* wiggle room.) The truth isn't always fuzzy but it certainly sets me free.
It's freeing for me to know that I'm strong enough to deal with the truth. Because life goes on - fabulously well - whether or not he calls. I think this book makes women stronger. No more skirting the issues. Walk tall. Besides we look a lot more attractive that way!
Marginal, obvious advice for women in denial........2007-09-08
It's hard to believe there is a market for this book. I considered it so bad I wasn't even going to drag it over the public library and donate it. I was ready to pitch this book into the garbage after only half an hour of reading, but I struggled on over several weeks, reading little bits at a time thinking perhaps I just wasn't appreciating the book's attempts at New York humor.
The marginal advice filling it still doesn't seem worth the effort of carrying the book two blocks to the library. Its success must be a symptom of how confusing the role of the modern, liberated feminist in America has become? I suppose the book is based on the folklore that "love blinds." How else could perfectly sensible women be so confused as to not see the obvious? This is a book for women who are blind, in denial, desperate, confused, dumb, from Venus, totally inexperienced, spending too much time in psychoanalysis, spending too much time rationalizing everything some guy they think they want to marry says or does to the point of reaching a hopeful conclusion when all the facts say the opposite.
Save your money. The "Dear Abby, Annie, Beth, etc." columns in most newspapers provide much better advice than this lightweight tome that was probably only quickly written to separate a lot of very confused and naive women from their hard-earned money. Don't over-analyze men. Like politicians don't pay any attention to what they say unless it happens to match how they act. Men are pretty uncomplicated as a group. Women who spend hours dissecting them over lunch with their girlfriends can't even be certain the people providing them support don't have a different agenda as far as their success in love is concerned. If you want to know more about men, talk to your mother and lots and lots of men friends who aren't just interested in getting into your panties and then with their curiosity satisfied, are ready to move on to the next challenge. Male co-workers or acquaintances are much better sources of advice than this book.
This volume really wasn't worth this much time to review, but since so many readers seemed to think it contains "Insights from Heaven" I think they've got their directions confused. At best the information provided is so obvious that a child should be able to recognize it. Much of the more complicated advice is bull, or seems like it might have come from a laughing, horned and hoofed creature residing in a place far away from Heaven and hotter than the planet Venus.
This book is CLASSIC! .......2007-09-06
A must read for every smart woman! Another great book that I love and recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You
Customer Reviews:
Interesting but not scientific.......2007-09-25
How does a person become a spiritual/sex guru? I was curious and decided to purchase and read this book.
I did some research on David Deida, and it appears he has no formal education on either psychology or human sexuality. What he does appear to have, however, are powerful insights into eastern beliefs on sexuality greatly differing from our own western version.
Although the author sites absolutely no scientific rationale to provide support for his views, I found his views to be fascinating. For example, in a chapter "Stop Hoping for Your Women to Get Easier":
"So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you've flunked the test....It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining- especially when she is complaining."
The author provides a refreshing eastern perspective on sexuality, masculinity, and feminity. It isn't entirely politically correct. But it is sexually correct. I am sure not all feminists would agree with the author's views. But those who seek the truth will find the author's unique perspective to be invigorating as having a good night with a woman who loves, and therefore tests, him.
MUST reading for all men.......2007-09-20
This is the 'how-to" book our fathers could never write (God bless them), and the best men's book on relationship I've ever read. Not because it teaches you tricks, or how to please a woman, but because it it shows men how to stand in our masculine power as our true selves, rather than someone who denies themselves to please others. I could never be in the incredible relationship I'm in today without the lessons I've learned from this book, and that includes having clear boundaries where self respect, awareness, integrity and purpose must come first in our lives. We always get the relationship we deserve...this book helps us deserve more. I use this book as a basis for the men's group I'm leading.
Great look at sex in loving relationships.......2007-09-09
I was impressed at the level of honesty by the author. He was very open about his desires and fantasies, and how these can exist in a committed relationship. He really teaches that it is not our dark side that is inappropriate, but how we handle it.
His views on the relationship dynamic were also helpful. The male and female priorities are inherently different, and once we accept these differences, love can actually exist. This theory has helped me in my personal life and relationships.
I would recommend this book to anyone that is willing to be honest about their relationships and sexual life.
Unravel the mysterious behavior of women!.......2007-08-30
Deida gives guys a great guide to understanding the often maddening behavior of their woman. He explains what they are really desiring and how we can satisfy those desires.
I've been astounded at the reactions I get from girls who I share his ideas with. They unanimously confirm that he's right on track. I wish I had known these secrets sooner in life!
A must read for any guy who wants a fulfilling relationship rather then a maddening one. Also, woman could also learn a lot about themselves and their guys by reading this.
totally made up .......2007-08-26
The author of this book must be laughing all the way to the bank. He has no credentials and doesn't support anything he says with any research - just his own opinion. Seems to be written for the man who only wants to get ahead - and this makes him feel good about it. Come on guys - we're talking the 1950s male mindset....
Book Description
Do you feel like you are too nice?
Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:
-Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
-Why do men take nice girls for granted?
-Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?
Full of much-needed advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry in the relationship-you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.
Customer Reviews:
VERY GOOD!!!!.......2007-10-03
This book was funny and very true. Bottom line-when you treat men like crap, they treat you better. I don't think its for everyone though, some people are just too nice and probally wont be able to handle some of the advice that the author gives. This isn't a bible, just a guide and a very good guide at that.
Men vs. Women?.......2007-10-03
I bought this book a short while after getting out of an abusive relationship, thinking it would help me hold my own in any future relationships so the pattern of abuse wouldn't continue. This idea, however, backfired. What I found myself doing while reading this book was getting more and more angry at men.
I understand that women do need to stand up for themselves in all areas of life. If anyone understands this, it's me. I don't, however, believe that it's a good idea to get embroiled in the battle of the sexes. I'd like to believe that not all men are bad, and that I can be happy in a future relationship without having to resort to any tricks or manipulation.
While this book has some good advice (i.e., go out instead of waiting by the phone for him to call) I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone who has any resentment towards the opposite sex. There are some great books out there which are more healing, and less damaging. Try anything by Kathryn Alice or Kathy Freston, for example. I also recommend "Make Every Man Want You" by Marie Forleo.
Good luck!
A very thought-provoking and helpful book.......2007-09-18
I just finished reading this book, and am in the process of reading her other book, "Why Men Marry Bitches".
I have to say that initially, like some other reviewers here, I was reluctant to read the book due to the title and the simple fact that I don't have much respect for so-called "girl guides". I agree that the title does a disservice to the book, although after having read it, I understand what the author means when she uses the word "bitch". I was afraid that this would be a book about being aggressive and demanding, but that is not the case at all. I am also an independent woman who is emotionally mature, but I must confess I have behaved too nicely many a time. If you read this book, please understand that it is meant to be humorous. Don't follow everything blindly (especially some of the jokey and outrageous advice). Use your own thinking. Like some people here, I don't think you should serve your date popcorn on the first date. But this doesn't 'mean that her advice isn't sound; she exaggerates of course, but what she means is, please don't bend over backwards for someone you barely know. I read some reviews here who claim that this book is about playing games, or that it says things that are too obvious, or that it teaches women to be abrasive. If you actually read the book you will see that she insists that a "bitch" is a woman who is nice, polite and gracious. She never, ever advises bitching and complaining; in fact she devotes a whole chapter to precisely why these tactics never work for women. Some negative reviewers insist that the book tells you to be someone else, and that you should be honest and open about what you want in a relationship. I completely agree with the latter; however, the book tells you to do the same thing. It shows you how to communicate with men on their level, without being too emotional; how to make them listen to you and how to get your point accross, and I repeat, NOT through bitching and complaining, but by presenting strong, logical arguments in a calm and rational manner. Surely this can only promote good communication?
I can understand some viewers' hesitation about the "tactics" that she describes, like boosting a man's ego from time to time. I used to think, why should I boost anyone's ego? If he puts up a shelf and the damn shelf is crooked, why should I praise him? Or better yet, I'll do everything myself. The truth is, you need to praise and acknowledge his effort. Women fail to do this and then we wonder why "there are no real men left in the world". The truth is, for a man to show his generosity, you need to let him do it. Men have sensitive egos (they may deny it but we all know it's true). You put him down once or twice, he'll give up trying and you'll be putting those shelves up yourself for the rest of your life. If that's what you want, fine. But normally it's not, so you start complaining that he never does anything for you. This is how the vicious circle starts. After having read the book, I understand this better. So what if a shelf isn't perfect. You can still thank him for the effort and be tactful about it. Just don't criticize him when he's feeling all proud and manly. Don't criticize him in front of other people. It's basic consideration and common sense, of course. We women like being given presents and flowers, and being paid compliments. Men also like being appreciated. This is only logical. If you are having one of those "ugly" days, the man who truly loves you will say something encouraging, like "you look beautful, and you are always beautiful to me". He will sense your vulnerability and show his support. You do the same for him. Both are white lies; you don't always look beatiful, and he doesn't always succeed in home improvement. But you want him to keep trying, and you encourage and support him. I don't see how this is could be detrimental to any relationship.
Finally, upon having read this book (and her second book which I most highly recommend), I feel a newfound appreciation for men. We women always puzzle over the things men do and often feel like men just don't get it. Well, the truth is, they do get it. They observe you and draw their own conclusions. They will test you to see your reactions to different situations, just as you will test them. You may call it playing games, or dislike it, but no matter what you think, this is normal behavior. We all test each other to a certain extent, consciously or unconsciously, depending on our individual insecurities and preferences. If you fail to acknowledge this simple fact, you fail to acknowledge reality.
I think that this book is not your typical "relationship" book. It doesn't teach you how to "catch" a man, or win him. It teaches you how being a self-sufficient, independent, gracious and considerate person will help you attract the right man and more importantly, will keep him interested and focused on your relationship. Please read this book and you will see that the author doesn't condone games; what she does is help women understand men better and learn to communicate with them better. If becoming a woman worthy of respect (your own and other people's) means you must change yourself, then of course you must, otherwise you will never grow as a person. If you don't respect yourself firstly and foremostly, how can you expect other people to respect you? You would think that this is self-evident, but obviously, looking at the world today, it's not. Sherry Argov's book was written to change that.
MUST HAVE!.......2007-09-12
Its every womans must have bible! Hide it under your mattress...not necessarily a coffee table friendly book unless its girls night. This book has saved all of my future relationships! Best kept secret since He's just not that into you. Loved every detail of the book and her sense of humor keeps you reading all throughout the night!
This book helped MY confidence.......2007-09-08
I resisted this book for years simply because of the title. To be honest, I feel that the author does a huge disservice to herself by using the word "Bitch" in her title. My first instinct was to immediately reject this book because by nature (and as my friends will attest), I'm known as my very positive, easy going, sweet, and loving individual. I try hard to be considerate of everyone around me (male or female), and quite frankly, I shy away from the negative bitch types that I come across in real life. I was also tired of all those dating books which told you what to do and what not to do in the dating world. They silently infuriated me because I didn't want to live my life against a list of actions to do and avoid.
However, after receiving an effusive recommendation from a close friend of mine (who's also a very positive person), I decided to throw away my caution read this book and it has quite literally changed my outlook on life.
Let me first clear up a misconception that was my own: This book does not tell women to change themselves in order to get a man. It does not tell you to be negative, house an attitude, or think that you're better than the world around you. The simple message I came away with after reading this book was that you must BELIEVE in yourself and your unique characteristics, and that in turn, will draw in the RIGHT man for you.
My biggest problem in the dating world was my confidence and this book helped me recognize this. Like so many women in their early 30s, I really wanted to be in a relationship and when a guy would show me attention, the first emotion I'd feel after the initial excitement was an anxious one. My pride aside, I quite frankly saw him as my "savior from the loneliness single world" (since so many of my friends were getting married), and I wanted to do everything in my power to keep him.
And what I'm discovering is that this attitude is exactly what will push him away!!! And trust me, it has in the past!
This book has taught me to repeat to myself the following adage: "This is me in all of my splendor...and it doesn't get any better than this". It sounds corny yes, but I saw a mantra close to this whenever I feel nervous/anxious about being single and it builds up my own self-worth and this in turn draws guys in. Because you know what? It's not about going out there and finding a man...it's about being happy with who you are, and if a man comes along that adds to that happiness-then so be it. It's so incredible freeing because it teaches you to love yourself for all you have. That a man isn't important, and ironically--that attitude in and of itself will serve to DRAW all types of positive people to you (and quite possibly a guy you connect with.)
This review is getting way too long, but that is the gist of my feelings of this book. Is this book perfect? It's not--and that's why I gave it Four stars. There's a section in there that encourages you to cater to his ego by playing the "Dumb Fox", and while I understand what the author is saying, she does go a bit over the top when she suggests never killing a bug or changing a light bulb for fear of emasculating your man. LOL! If it took an independent woman to attract a man, then it will take one to keep him. Show him that you don't NEED him to survive (I can change my own light if you're gone), but that you don't mind moving aside and allowing him to take the limelight now and then to massage his ego (and he does the same to us!)
Amazon.com
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept influence.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Download Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage."
DANIEL GOLEMAN, AUTHOR OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
BILL MARVEL AND GEOFFREY NORMAN, AMERICAN WAY
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic."
NEWSWEEK
"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
USA TODAY
"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
"Astonishing new research!"
WOMAN'S WORLD
Customer Reviews:
A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership.......2007-09-30
My fiancee and I decided to be proactive and visit a psychologist before we had any relationship issues and before we got married. He recommended Gottman to us, and what a fabulous recommendation it was! Reading "Seven Principles" really illustrated with lucidity what it was about my parents' marriage that has always bothered me (contempt from my mother in their arguments) and gave clear steps on how to avoid this and other relationship killers. It was very reaffirming in that it doesn't tell couples not to fight (because how realistic is that?), but teaches them how to fight and how to agree to disagree. My fiancee is in the process of reading it now, and I'm excited for him to finish so we can talk it over. The last principle, in particular, is really great for people who already have solid relationships...it made me excited to get married!
A really excellent book overall, Gottman's writing style is clear and concise!
A must have in protecting one's marriage!.......2007-09-26
This book is absolutely essential in the treatment of marriage or couple counseling, as well as can be used by anyone interested in strengthening their own marriage/relationships. It is helpful because it is basic, layed out in a very simplistic manner, and is an easy reader. The book offers concrete instructions for couples on how to improve their closeness, connection, and communication. It is also based on scientific studies thereby offering value and effectiveness of the techniques illustrated in the book. I would highly recommend it for struggling couples, those considering divorce, as well as couples with a good relationship seeking a closer bond.
researched through many, this one the best .......2007-09-05
This author uses common sense and clinical study and marries the 2 together,
He gives simple, thought provoking questions and daily/weekly effective deeds to do. Insightful and effective. We're using it to help others but aNYONE can take a few hints from this even MR and MRS perfectly happy.
seven principles of making a marriage work.......2007-08-23
great book that I had initially borrowed from my therapist. Was enlighteneing. Made me recognize a lot about myself and my spouse. I recommend it for newleyweds and other couples as well; I myself have been married for 10 years. It can be used preventitively or as a couselling guide or just to provide some insight into what you may be feeling or going through with a significant other. It made me realize my thoughts and actions were not "crazy" but rather common.
Great Resource.......2007-08-16
I use Dr. Gottman's marriage principles in my private practice with great success. I highly recommend this book.
Book Description
An eye-opening examination of the hookup culture, seen through the personal experiences of high school-and college-age women who confront the hard lessons of dating, love, and sex.
We're living in an increasingly sexualized world, and it's the young-particularly young women-who must deal with the consequences. Kids are having more sexual contact than ever, and at an earlier age. They call it "hooking up." But what is "hooking up"? According to Laura Sessions Stepp, a reporter at The Washington Post, hooking up eludes a neat definition. It can be anything from an innocent kiss to sexual.
In Unhooked, Stepp follows three groups of young women (one in high school, one each at Duke and George Washington universities). She sat with them in class, socialized with them, listened to them talk, and came away with some disturbing insights, including that hooking up carries with it no obligation on either side. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed-or worse, seen as impossible. Some young women can handle this, but many can't, and they're being battered-physically and emotionally-by the new dating landscape. The result is a generation of young people stymied by relationships and unsure where to turn for help.
"The need to be connected intimately to others is as central to our well-being as food and shelter," Stepp writes in Unhooked. "In my view, if we don't get it right, we're probably not going to get anything else in life right."
Customer Reviews:
Waste Of Time.......2007-09-10
Really, this book is like a very poorly written novel about girls and their antics at college. Very verbose and way too much detail about furnitiure, clothes, etc. Could have been condensed to 5-10 pages.
Research is interesting, but much like the hookup the results unsatisfying.......2007-06-25
Laura Sessions Stepp's Unhooked is a well researched but ultimately unfulfilling book about the changes in sexual culture among today's adolescents and college students. While her original research is quite well done - there's enough here to qualify for an anthropology degree - and deserves 5 stars, once she ventures from the subject of teenagers having sex she badly overreaches. I take two stars off for the latter, giving it 3 overall.
Stepp is a writer for the Washington Post who has put in a substantial amount of work in the last few years on teenage sexuality, and like many other reporters decided to publish a book; Unhooked is the result. When she stays on the subject of teenagers and college students having sex and how the culture both differs from their parents' generation and has significant destructive aspects, this is a powerful book. To sum up her argument in a sentence, women under 25 are far more promiscuous, far more demanding sexually, and far less interested in relationships than their elders. Interview after interview points out how early girls start doing things that their parents took very seriously but they don't, how they are far more comfortable talking about it without social consequence, and how young women are now playing the same games that young men did all along - the "walk of shame" has been renamed the "stride of pride," and Stepp makes a pretty good argument that a good chunk of this comes from women "empowering" themselves. As a result, this generation of young women has largely postponed having meaningful relationships despite wanting the same thing their mothers did (albeit at a later age) - marriage and children. All this is very interesting stuff.
That's about half the book. It lags when she starts getting into the "whys" and "what can be done" parts, where Stepp has little research and doesn't do a particuarly good job of supporting her arguments. It's not that some of her conclusions don't make sense - particularly that many members of this generation have been babied and entitled beyond belief, and as she puts it "it might have been better to take them to church or a mosque" rather than wipe their knee every time they scraped it - but there's a good slug of academic research on the subject that Stepp doesn't incorporate, and as a result the policy part tends toward preaching rather than thoughtful discussion.
Another major problem here is that she focuses almost exclusively on the experience of young women, despite coming up with the conclusion that "young men are as dissatisfied with hooking up as young women." There is a strong sense of feminism gone awry here - a long section talks nostalgically about how men were once required to woo women, but doesn't discuss why perhaps men might not be nearly as interested in doing so given the major shifts in the roles between men and women over the last twenty years (which Stepp dismisses as a result that men can have a lot of sex a lot easier) - and a better book would have taken a long leap across the war of the sexes to figure out what young men were really thinking as well. It takes two to tango.
Still, the original research on this generation is worth a read, although parents probably shouldn't be rushing out to lock kids up until they're thirty as a result of reading this. Each generation scares their parents silly, and while there are certainly very, very good reasons to be scared about the "entitlement generation" there are other books that do a better job of explaining why their kids are doing what they're doing.
Boys (and girls) like sex. So? What else is new?.......2007-06-17
Having once been young, I all too well remember that young people always think themselves wise enough for any endeavor; now, with age, I know it's the same confidence of old drunks who think they are still sober.
So it is with this book, a tut-tut-tutting account of youth who embrace sex as the jalapeno of life before learning that it is a spice and not a main course. It's similar to the fate of youth and cars, or youth and alcohol, or youth and guns. Inevitably some overindulge and hurt themselves. Tell me about a time when it wasn't so.
Given the choice of youthful angst with or without sex, many young people have decided sex is merely a sensuous bodily pleasure. The lack of love, commitment and romance is shocking to some, but by the time they marry they've been hurt often enough to finally make a reasonably wise choice. The same is true for alcohol; most learn, after a few hangovers, that moderation is a much longer lasting pleasure.
The proof is evident in the divorce rates. Figures compiled by Steven Martin of the University of Maryland indicate about 45 percent of women without a high school degree are divorced within 10 years of their first marriage, compared to about 15 percent for those with a college degree. When it comes to children raised by a single mother, almost 40 percent of the mothers have less than a high school degree; about 10 percent of single mothers have a college degree or better.
Sex was the last taboo for most women; first it was hem lines, then smoking in public, then alcohol and, in the 1960s, the advent of a little pill which let them delay having children without delaying their inner urges. None of this changes or erases the agony of youth; regardless of what anyone does, something different often looks better in retrospect.
Stepp has written a riveting account of sex for fun among the young, and the severe hangovers it sometimes causes. A similar book should be written about virgins who marry at 17 and divorce by 20 after the collapse of their illusions and delusions. It's not easy being young, regardless of how anyone chooses to live.
When will someone write that youth is sometimes unmitigated agony (with or without sex). But, out of this misery can come a lifetime of happiness, pleasure and commitment?
Easy sex isn't a mistake. It's a process of learning what isn't suitable. Think of Thomas Edison and his thousand experiments to develop a lightbulb; his unsuccessful attempts weren't failures, he thought of them as having learned what doesn't work. It's time for authors to think of "hooking up" in the same practical manner; it's something youth already knows, and adults need to learn.
Well, this is what I've got so far .........2007-05-21
Unhooked
So far, I enjoy reading this book. Once I reiceived it in the mail, I started reading and couldn't put it down. It describes a lot of what's going on with women who are in their older years in high school and college. It can help mothers or older women to understand what could be going on in their daughters or even sons lives.
Compelling and informative.......2007-05-15
Good non-fiction, to my mind, should be 1) fun and engaging to read, much like a good novel, and 2) informative and enlightening. _Unhooked_ more than satisfies both of these requirements. The stories are told in a way that compels you to keep reading; each has a plot. And I learned so much from this book about a campus culture that was just beginning to develop when I graduated from college in 1993. I was particularly struck by Stepp's dead-on observation that young women have been taught to put achievement first and not to value relationships -- that "love can wait." But of course they still have sex, so sex becomes unconnected from relationships. Stepp's commentary, I believe, adds to rather than takes away from the stories, providing very needed context. One of the best books I have read this year.
Book Description
5-STAR HIGHEST RATING: "An exceptional book"
Most single women have experienced the sinking feeling of fishing for a date from someone special without receiving so much as a nibble. It is enough to make women wonder if there is something wrong with their bait.
Steve Nakamoto, a former communications/human relations instructor for Dale Carnegie & Associates, NLP personal development trainer for motivational expert Tony Robbins, and professional international tour director understands these feelings. He has written an intelligent, funny, and wise book for women who are looking to catch a guy---hook, line, and sinker. In this entertaining look at relationships, he compares men to fish who are secretly longing to be caught. Women, on the other hand, are wily yet compassionate anglers looking to reel in the big one.
Men Are Like Fish will take readers on a fact-packed fishing trip where they will learn tips on how to initiate great relationships or enhance the ones they already have. The book is sweetly old-fashioned, yet wickedly on target. Nakamoto has also sprinkled zippy cartoons/illustrations and unusually helpful quotes throughout the book.
While the title might imply a single-minded effort to drag an unsuspecting man into the net, the book is actually somewhat Zenlike. It will help women to improve their self-images, broaden their interests, and accentuate the unique qualities they possess that will naturally draw good relationships to them. Nakamoto also spends a good deal of time discussing the end of relationships. He shows women how to let go gracefully, with as little pain as possible, so that they can continue to grow without harboring bitterness.
Steve uses several interesting examples from his own life, sharing many of his triumphs and failures with a good-natured sense of humor. Nakamoto shares one especially funny story about a tight jeans contest where he lost a shapely girlfriend/contestant to judge Clint Eastwood. He writes, "I consoled myself with the thought that Deanna must have had a tough choice: Clint Eastwood (People Weekly's 2001 #2 most popular screen actor of all time) or Steve Nakamoto? It could have gone either way, right?"
Nakamoto also shares good, solid advice. One especially helpful area is "Favorite Fishing Holes: 101 Hot Spots Where the Big Ones Are Biting." It consists of a list of fun and inexpensive activities and places to explore that are bound to be interesting, even if they do not spark a new love affair. Among the many activities that Nakamoto recommends are going to art gallery openings, visiting wineries for wine tasting and tours, and taking city tours or day trips in one's own city or in a nearby town.
Nakamoto does not guarantee eternal love for readers. However, both single women looking for that perfect catch and those seeking to recapture the romance of an exciting relationship will find great value here. Men Are Like Fish is guaranteed to give even the most jaded and discouraged romantic angler a new, more joyful perspective on the oldest sport in the world.
--- Reviewed by ForeWordReviews.com
Customer Reviews:
How to hook and land the big one.......2007-10-01
I really enjoyed this book, both for its invaluable information and humor.
We can talk until we're blue in the face.... truly, who can reveal what men love in women more accurately than a man?
Some of the revelations may not be considered in the realm of today's "political correctness", but where does pc get you in the real world, seriously? His intention to is to help, not judge. You have to ask yourself...is a few minutes of discomfort worth a potential lifetime of happiness? Men and women, though we do desire same things, are wired differently. We have to treat these differences with respect, rather than aversion, in order to succeed. Men are very observant regarding whether a woman is approving or disapproving of them. (Guess which attitude generates the more favorable response toward you?)
He sets the fishing tone succinctly in Chapter 3, "The Metaphor", men are like fish. This makes it not only palatable, but useful throughout the rest of the book. Some more chapters: "Fishing Lessons", improve your chances with preparation, "Beginners Luck", recapture your lost innocence, "The Bait", make your attraction more powerful, "The Hook", use only the most secure devices, "The Big Fish", decide exactly what you want to catch, "Fishing Holes", invest your time in the best spots, "The Cast", don't spook away men with bad approaches, etc. And alot more goodies.
One thing he stresses throughout is to embrace your femininity. Once you do this, men can, too. Face it...too many women have jettisoned their womanly essence, much to the extreme disappointment of men. Opposites define eachother.
My best to all of you....happy landing!
Outstanding!.......2007-08-14
This is great book. Every woman should read it. You will be surprised how iformative this book is!
But you must read another new besteller which I highly recommend - "How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You" by Mandy Simons
These books are fascinating!
very well written.......2007-07-23
it's simple and entertaining, you learn and realize through the analogy of fishing mechanism, which makes this book more entertaining as supposed to other typical standard "text book" style. I also like his writing style, short and concise, and to the point, it makes you realize many things while reading it. The author has included many great proverbs from all countries and all times, some of them are exceptionally valuable and worthwhile. I have to say this is one of the few books that I find entertaining to read, at the same time, enlightening.
men are like fish.......2007-07-08
some good strategies to get the one you really want. unfortunaltely two have to agree!
All Analogies.......2007-06-23
All the author really does is explain how men are like fish. He gives many examples (I had no idea there would be so many), but none were really helpful or applicable to life (unless I was suddenly given a pop quiz relating men to fish). I think I ended up throwing this book in the trash.
Book Description
In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!
Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you’ll discover how to
- identify and articulate your wants and needs
- listen well and respond generously
- set limits, and stand up for yourself
- embrace and appreciate what you have
- know when to seek outside help
The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
Customer Reviews:
WOW.......2007-09-27
This book is amazing. Actual steps and language to help couples discuss and work through really important issues. Makes sense to both male and female. Great "case studies" examples of principles in action. Really really like this book.
New Rules an interesting read........2007-09-20
I saw the author on television talking about the book and was intrigued enough to buy it. It was well worth the price.
Terrence Real does a great job of including real-life examples to support his theories of relationship building.
I recommend it highly.
A Must Read, Whether in a Good or Poor or Future Relationship!.......2007-06-18
This is the BEST relationship book that I would recommend people read no matter if you are in a good, solid relationship and want to keep it that way, in a rocky relationship that you'd like to improve, or just thinking about someday being in a relationship. In fact, it is excellent even for those who are not going to be married - just socially interacting with other human beings!! Written by Terrence Real (a family therapist, who also specializes in male depression) this book certainly makes MY FRIENDS MUST READ list. Chapters are divided and activities arranged in such a way that individuals can work thru the book on their own (and see true positive changes in their relationships - with partners or friends) OR you can work thru it as a couple in addition to individual work. Real does makes some inaccurate statements about feminism and the feminist movements in our country, but I guess no book can be perfect and not everyone has background education in Women's Studies. :)
Every Couple's Read.......2007-06-15
If you are serious about your relationship, and both interested in learning your limitations, this is an exceptional resource.
The author describes the difference between men (who retreat into their caves to avoid intimacy and work on problems) and women (who retreat into anger to avoid problems and end up limiting initimacy). Becoming self aware is an essential aspect of operating in the world, if we are willing to be honest about our behaviors we can become more functional.
I also listened to the Audio version of the book and it was much more informative to hear the examples and conversations in this format. Having a tendency to drift when I read such examples, hearing them was better.
The behaviors identified, practices provided, and exercises are well worth the effort. We don't expect ourselves to be trained in our occupations, why is it we expect that we will be perfectly skilled to succeed in relationship? It takes learning, and enough esteem to realize we don't know everything about making it work.
This is a great start to intimate health.
Couple Conflict.......2007-05-09
Understand why marriage is so difficult in today's world, and how to handle conflict with your spouse.
Book Description
Couples consistently name “improved communication” as the greatest need in their relationships. Love Talk is a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships. Includes The Love Talk Indicator, a free personalized online assessment ($30.00 value).
Customer Reviews:
What Kind of Love Talk Are We Talking About?.......2007-06-14
This book includes some very helpful grids for helping spouses ( or friends - or enemies!) to understand each other. It would have rated higher with me if it had emphasized more the attitude of a servant spirit to which God calls His people, and the distinctive commands to the wife and the husband.The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective
Love Talk Book.......2006-12-22
I bought this book in hopes to find more knowledge about how to communicate better, however I soon discovered that the book coincides with a workbook. Every chapter describes scenarios/experiences that the authors went through but is followed by "please see the workbook" to find out on how to communicate better. So buy the workbook if you want to get the full use of this book as well as reap the benefits in your relationship.
On the upside the book does have some good examples of what types of communication styles there are. I hoped this is helpful.
Excellent Guide to Enriching Communication.......2005-10-15
I am still working through the book but it has been an excellent guide to improving communication skills at all levels.
Deep Wisdom Practically Explained and Applied.......2005-07-17
"Love Talk" is a very practical book that is also very deep. What a rare combination. Far too often we find deep books that are vague and impractical or how-to manuals that are shallow and unbiblical. "Love Talk," as the authors accurately label it, is "a deep yet simple plan full of new insights that will revolutionize communication in love relationships."
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help couples to go deep by identifying their fear factor (a catchy and helpful phrase)--a soul issue necessary to expose for soul talk by soul mates. They then help couples to go simple (but not simplistically so) by helping husbands and wives to determine their communication styles.
They also help couples to go deep by exposing the deep mystery of the male-female relationship, doing so in a way that honors the complex nature of masculinity and femininity. They then also go simple by sharing a "doable" plan for moving husband-wife communication from good to great (another catchy and encouraging phrase).
"Love Talk" offers many deep/simple tools such as the Love Talk Inidicator, the Secret to Emotional Connection, and a short course on Communication 101. Two companion his and her workbooks provide exercises and self-test to help couples apply the content and concepts contained in "Love Talk."
Reviewer: Dr. Robert W. Kellemen is the author of "Soul Physicians," "Spiritual Friends," and "Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction."
College student.......2005-07-01
I got this book because it was required for a class taught by Les & Leslie Parrott at Seattle Pacific University. The class and book are awesome! I'm not married, but I still learned a lot of practical tips for communicating with my future wife (hopefully) and even my friends and family!
They truly taught me a lot about the importance of communication & understanding each other...then you'll reach Love Talk!
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