The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • GET THIS BOOK
  • Wild At Heart
  • Biblical Imagery of Masculine Spirituality
  • Great manly read
  • A Guide to Becoming a Complete Man
The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey
John Eldredge
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

GeneralGeneral | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Spirituality | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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  1. The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey
  2. Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
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  5. Wild at Heart Field Manual: A Personal Guide to Discover the Secret of Your Masculine Soul Wild at Heart Field Manual: A Personal Guide to Discover the Secret of Your Masculine Soul

ASIN: 0785206779

Book Description

I can fix it. I don't need directions. I can figure this out on my own. These thoughts that erupt from a man's bravado, from his deep urge to be a real man. Yet underneath this, there is a louder voice countering, You can't. You're not capable. You're weak. Many men-possibly all men-face two looming questions at some point in their life. What does it mean to be a man, and am I one?

The Way of the Wild Heart reaches out to "unfinished men" trying to understand and live their role as men and fathers. Exploring six biblically based stages, John Eldredge initiates men into a new understanding and ownership of their manhood and equips them to effectively lead their sons to manhood.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars GET THIS BOOK.......2007-09-29

I loved Wild At Heart and how he restored masculinity in the church. The goal is not to train our men to be good, nice, coffee-klatsch women. There are parts of being a man that are God-given and shouldn't be set aside.

Now, as a father of two boys, trying to figure out how to be a good dad, this book is revolutionary. I am not the "outdoorsman" that Eldredge is, but we are having significant discussions at our church right now based on this book. I wish more ministers would embrace this book and offer this material to their men.

Most men are bored. And as a businessman, I am extremeley busy. If it were not for deep conviction I would not normally make the time for prioritizing spiritual things in my life. But this book helps me see that it is not just about church. It is about being fathered by God, and passing that fathering on to my sons and to younger men who also need mentoring.

I loved this book!

5 out of 5 stars Wild At Heart.......2007-09-29

Compelling book ; Should be read by EVERY Man
and those who try to live with one successfully,
to help understand how he works inside.
All these books from this author are gifted works on
the workings of the adult man, I believe he is truly inspired.

5 out of 5 stars Biblical Imagery of Masculine Spirituality.......2007-08-22

I've read Eldredge's first book, Wild at Heart, and believe he has as good of a work here if not better. Wild at Heart is a pre-requisite to gain the most benefit from this volume. Even without having read the first title however, Eldredge here will resonate with many Christian male readers.

I simply don't understand how other reviewers can say this book is shallow on its Biblical content -- I don't believe I have seen a better analogy to the life of David in any other work. The masculine journey, according to Eldredge, begins first at boyhood, then progresses to the cowboy, then warrior, lover, king and finally sage. While the author doesn't bluntly offer chapter and verse for the ideas he shares, anyone familiar with the life of David can see clearly the parallels.

I recommend this book to all Christian men. Grandfathers, fathers, and sons alike will all find something here to inspire to walk closer to God and to develop much-needed relationships with other Christian men. This title is well-worth the price.

5 out of 5 stars Great manly read.......2007-07-25

n preparation for a up-and coming hike with my friend Dale, I decided to read this book. I read his first one and loved it. It was called "Wild at Heat." It is the best book I ever read for men and spirituality. In this hike, I am looking forward to the trip. The book certainly motivated me for this time in the woods. Because of this book, this journey is not about the woods as much about connecting to God. Being a minister, it is rare for me to get dirty and sweating, but my background in life is farming and manual labor. I need this hike for my heart. In the church we have taken God and placed him in the church building only. If you want God, find him on Sunday morning, but God is everywhere. In the encounters with God in the Bible, he never approaches the man in the building. This was the perfect book to inspire my future hike. Every man would be blessed by reading this journey. As I read it, my mind reflected back to my journey, it was a enjoyable experience.

5 out of 5 stars A Guide to Becoming a Complete Man.......2007-07-03

This book is a continuation of the topics covered in the book Wild at Heart and has good expansion and further development of the themes. Eldridge's basic premise is that there are 6 stages of the full masculine journey in life. That of the boy, cowboy/ranger, warrior, lover, king, and sage. In each stage the boy/man walks through crucial elements in his development as a man.

The boy stage is when he is young and enjoying doing boy stuff like playing outside, exploring, climbing trees, basically having fun and being delighted in by his parents and family.

The cowboy/ranger stage is when the boy moves more into the young manhood stage where he goes out exploring on his on and begins learning the things of the masculine world such as how to fix a car, working with power tools, going on backpacking journeys in the woods either alone or with some of his friends. This could also include such adventures as backpacking across Europe. The main part of this stage is his learning the answer to the question "do I have what it takes/can I handle this?"

The warrior stage is when the man is beginning his quest and mission in life which may include beginning a career such as a teacher, lawyer, doctor, consultant, mechanic, salesman, or becoming a missionary overseas. This is the stage in which he is finding his cause to fight for and the things that are important to him and what he will work towards during his life.

The lover stage sometimes crosses over with the warrior stage. This is when the man is learning to appreciate beauty and how to love. It is not necessarily when he pursues a woman and learns to love in that sense but can also include the awakening to the beautiful things in life such as nature, art, and music. Full development in this stage will include learning to love and be loved by God in an intimate way. Something Eldridge said which makes sense is that it is best for the man to have established himself as a warrior before entering this stage. Many women can be frustrated with the men they marry who don't seem to have a sense of purpose to their lives and Eldridge indicates that it is best for the man to come to the woman from a state of strength and having journeyed through at least parts of the warrior stage.

The king stage is when the man becomes responsible for leading others. This might include being the head of his household, becoming a manager at work, or a coach of a team. During this stage, warriors may be working for the king.

The final stage is that of the sage. This occurs when a man steps down as a king but does not fade into the distance. He will commonly be an adviser to kings and provide the wisdom that comes only through years of living through the various stages. Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings trilogy would fit this category.

During each of the stages, the man will likely experience parts of all the stages but will generally be centered upon one of them.

In reading this book, I suggest taking it slowly, not because it is difficult reading but so that you can really absorb and take in the topics discussed. I highly recommend this book as an excellent understanding of the development of a man and what makes a whole and complete man.
Wild at Heart Field Manual: A Personal Guide to Discover the Secret of Your Masculine Soul
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Wild at Heart Field Manual
  • Excellent Resource
  • Wild at Heart
  • A whole new perspective
  • wild at heart
Wild at Heart Field Manual: A Personal Guide to Discover the Secret of Your Masculine Soul
John Eldredge
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Christian Living | Christianity | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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  4. The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for the Masculine Journey
  5. The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey

ASIN: 0785265740

Book Description

Abandoning the format of workbooks-as-you-know-them, the Wild at Heart Field Manual takes men on a journey through which John Eldredge encourages them to be dangerous. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires, aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives men permission to be what God designed them to be -- dangerous, passionate, alive, and free. This book is filled with questions, exercises, journaling ideas, and guided exploration of the arts that will lead men on a journey to discover the masculine heart that God gave them.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Wild at Heart Field Manual.......2007-08-25

I purchased 4 of these books for my sons, on the recommendation of I man I work with. My oldest son said he usually doesn't like self help books, but after reading the first chapter "very intersting.....it hit home". I have promises from my other sons they will now read it. I am happy with my purchase.

5 out of 5 stars Excellent Resource.......2007-01-28

This is the field manual for the book Wild At Heart. Mine is very worn from having been worked through 4 times. This is a great resource if you are working through Wild At Heart, either by yourself or in a group. It will help you really examine and work through the book.

This workbook is well laid out with lots of room for answers, and a number of little sections to help you on your journey as you work through it. Some of these supplemental sections are:
· A Break in the Clouds
· From the Map
· Warning!
· Dispatch
· Getting Your Bearings

Each chapter which parallels the book, begins with a 'Gut Reaction' - what is your first take on that chapter in the book? This helps set the bearings for where you will go in that chapter. As you work through it you will be drawn deeper and deeper into the masculine journey.

Eldredge begins each chapter with quotes that span church history and denominations. He must be one of the most widely read men I have encountered. He draws from that breadth of knowledge to show a variety of views on topics and tries to help you see where God is wanting to work in your life.

The one drawback, if you use it in conjunction with the DVD curriculum, is that the DVD does not follow the book exactly, and with 12 chapters in the book and field manual that follow each other exactly, and 8 in the DVD, it doesn't seem weighted evenly.

The Field Manual is indispensable if you are going to work through the DVDs and is a great supplement to the original book. For you, or other men in your life, this book will be a great tool on your journey to authentic Christian manhood.

5 out of 5 stars Wild at Heart.......2006-03-11

it was a great support of the book, Wild at Heart. It took the book into a deeper level.

5 out of 5 stars A whole new perspective.......2006-01-31

This book answered many questions I have had for years: about myself, about the church; about Christianity. It launched me on a search for these things that has been very enlightening. I highly recommend getting the Field Guide to Wild at Heart which will help make the things in the book a very personal experience.
Pure theolgists and members of churchs that think they have the only way will probably be very upset by this book. For those who want to open their minds and hearts, it is an unforgetable journey.

5 out of 5 stars wild at heart.......2005-10-07

I have not finished this book as I am writing this. I can say the first 40 pages are worth the purchase price. Eldredge really seems to know how a man is to relate to Jesus. Its fairly obvious he enjoys a healthy relationship with our risen savior Jesus--and shows that we all can. Read it......if you dare.
The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life & Love Tougher Than It Has to Be
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Men: learn you're not alone. Women: learn what your men are really thinking
  • Excellent insight into the male mind!
  • Secrets
  • All Women Need to Read This.....
  • RIGHT WING, CHRISTIAN DRIBBLE
The Secrets Men Keep: How Men Make Life & Love Tougher Than It Has to Be
Stephen Arterburn
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1591454697

Book Description

All the things that men think and feel-but don't dare to talk about-are explored in this book by the best-selling author of Every Man's Battle, Stephen Arterburn. Significance. Fears. Sex. Communication. Relationships. Work. Commitment. Intimacy. Expectations. Control. Failure. Nothing that drives men, according to a national survey, is left untouched within these pages. But men-and the women who love them-are not left without hope either. For women who long to understand their man better, and for men who aspire to build more successful lives, Arterburn not only delves into their private needs, aspirations, motivations and frustrations but gives perspective on where those secrets come from and how to respond to them . . . to make life and love easier on everyone.

Customer Reviews:

4 out of 5 stars Men: learn you're not alone. Women: learn what your men are really thinking.......2007-07-04

As a man, this book really hits home because it talks about all of the "secrets" men keep inside, too afraid to let out because they think they're the only ones who feel this way. For a woman, this will help you better understand your man so that more open communication can be had.

5 out of 5 stars Excellent insight into the male mind!.......2007-02-02


Where was this book 36 years ago when we first got married? :)

This is slightly different than most books about men/women/relationship since it is based on a survey (questions and answers are listed in the back of the book) given to Christian and non-Christian men. The author then takes the results of the survey and divides it into several sections. He uses many different resources to back up his opinions and insights as he seeks to help us all understand why men do or don't do what we think they should do, or say or won't say what we want them to say.

I highly recommend this book to women who want to understand the men in their lives better and to men who are seeking to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, especially regarding relationships with women.

Sometimes it was painful to read the ways I have failed my husband, but if you don't know what the problem is, it's really hard to fix it. I also think the book explains things in such a way that it makes it easier for us (my husband and me) to talk about the differences together, without it coming across in an accusatory way.

This book has been a real eye-opener to me (and I had already reads LOTS of books about male/female relationship). Highly recommed it for the insight and practial ways to apply what was learned.


5 out of 5 stars Secrets.......2006-10-25

This is an excellent book not only for men to read but women as well. It is full of specifics to improve your life and is written in an easy to read format. My life has improved after just one reading and I have highlighted several pages for my wife to read. Get this book!

5 out of 5 stars All Women Need to Read This............2006-10-25

I picked this book up because of the title...and WOW!!!! Women...if you really want to know what men go through...this is a MUST read!!! I am newly married, and this book gave me the insight to really start my marriage off on the right foot. My husband picked up the book and said that Steve is accurate on every item. If you are questioning what to give as an awesome wedding, engagement, or shower gift..this is it!

1 out of 5 stars RIGHT WING, CHRISTIAN DRIBBLE.......2006-10-14

This book is a hoax. I am sending it back! Nowhere in the books advertising, on its book jacket or elsewhere does is it disclosed that this is a book written by and for bible thumpers.
Furthermore the book offers no real insights or information.

This book is a waste of time and money. It is an insult to men and women who are genuinely seeking information and knowledge.

MY ADVICE- DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Also a must read for Men.
  • More stars!
  • Essential Reading. Deservedly, one of the defining books in the mens movement
  • To anyone who might be interested in psychology or personal growth
  • Prequel
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
Robert Moore , and Douglas Gillette
Manufacturer: HarperOne
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0062506064

Book Description

Arguing that mature masculinity is not abusive or domineering, but generative, creative, and empowering of the self and others, Moore and Gillette provide a Jungian introduction to the psychological foundations of a mature, authentic, and revitalized masculinity.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Also a must read for Men........2007-04-14

Two key books all men should read (that are not part of their faith), this book and Iron John by Robert Bly. It give positive models of being a man that is compassionate and effective in the world. Thanks Robert Moore for writing it. This is for a mature man that has the courage to look at himself and life.

5 out of 5 stars More stars!.......2006-12-17

This is an absolutely spectacular answer to a lot of societal gender issues--not the only answer, mind you, but an excellent tool to have in your self-development arsenal. This includes women, too (I'll get to that in a minute).

The four archetypes in the title are covered both in adult and juvenile versions, in brief in the first chapter, and then the mature archetypes get an entire chapter dedicated to each. Both the positive, healthy aspects, and the Shadow aspects, are covered. The language is wonderfully easy on the eyes, conversational without losing content.

As I read, I found myself recognizing a lot of the traits of these archetypes in people I knew--and myself. I strongly urge everyone, not just men, to snag a copy of this. It's not just so that women can finally "understand men". It's because this is also a map to the Animus, that within women which is male, and which is often lost track of. I found myself nodding in recognition at both Boy and Man traits of various archetypes that I found to be familiar within myself, and this has definitely given me more to chew on.

And, in the very back of the book there are several meditations that basically amount to what magicians know as pathworking and invocation for readers to use to work with their own archetypal selves. This is very much a valuable tool, and I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more mention in the pagan community since I've heard grumbling now and then that paganism is too female-centric. This book has been out since 1990, and I think it would go a long way in helping not only pagan men, but (as I said before) people in general understand *human* psychology better.

I also like that it places responsibility at the foot of certain threads of feminism for some of the more recent anti-male sentiments in society, particularly that which blames all men for all the problems women have while vehemently denying that men actually have problems, thanks to their male "privilege". My own approach to feminism had always been similar to Action Girl - Girl-positive and female-friendly -- never anti-boy. While I think the work is far from being over, I'm less of a feminist these days and more of an "everyone-ist". If we're going to really bring equality into reality in any capacity, we have to extend that equality to everyone, not just women. I've talked to enough men who aren't exactly happy with the bad conditioning and pigeonholes they get stuck into, and I believe that rather than trying to place the blame for the way things are in the hands of one sex or another, it needs to be directed at the culture in general that breeds insecurity. As the authors pointed out, patriarchy isn't caused by masculine energy in general--it's caused by immature masculine energy that is not only anti-female, but anti-mature male as well. This book is an excellent tool for deprogramming the destructive, immature masculine and helping to promote the healthy, creative masculine.

Okay, off my soapbox now....

For the bad parts--the authors refer to sadomasochism as "perversion" and male humiliation of women. Um, no. Ignore this part. It's one of the few parts that does date the book. Also, I really wish they'd gone into more detail on how to work with the archetypes, instead of a couple of paragraphs at the end of each chapter. There are books for at least three of the four archetypes on their own, but they're out of print and very expensive to get ahold of.

But, in short, really, really, really good book, recommended to anyone.

5 out of 5 stars Essential Reading. Deservedly, one of the defining books in the mens movement.......2006-12-04

I really enjoyed this book on the Archetypes of the Lover, Magician, Warrior and King when I first read it and find myself referring back to it often. It's based on a combination a study of the archetypes and Jungian psychology. Of course, the archetypes have their foundation in the medicine wheel and the four cardinal directions and all that they represent (earth, fire, air, water etc.).

I've done workshops based on the archetypes which I've really found valuable and enjoyable. Most men animate one of the energies (Lover, Magician, King or Warrior) as their natural home, for myself it has been the Magician and when I first started this type of work I discovered the other feminine polarity, the Lover (which women love!) and worked more on those of the Warrior and King (perhaps the hardest) as circumstances in my life have required. I've found it to be a really invaluable model for the masculine psyche. There are few men who can do all of the quadrants well. That requires becoming concious and doing substantial inner work. Most men tend to hang out in one quadrant, and, unfortunately, animate the negative side of that quadrant... (although thats only through habit, fear and not having awareness) which is why it's invaluable to have the awareness of the positive and negative role models.

I agree with other reviewers, it's not a self-help book as such, so it doesn't contain lots of recommendations about practices, how to practically use the ideas. It is however, I belive, a valuable contribution to the men's movement and something men can use to reflect upon and guide their actions.

Most valuable is the section on boy psychology, the immature form of the masculine psyche and the shadow side, something all men know only too well, something I think it's often hard for women to understand. How many men out there these days have the magician energy and operate from it's shadow form as detached manipulators... (just look at business today)with the knowledge of the shadow, we can embrace it and own in ourselves (no easy task) and see it clearly and not become subject to the covert manipulation of others. These ideas are worth more than the cost of this book alone. When you look at the other shadow forms of the masculine psyche Moore has illustrated - the weakling king (just look at most our political leaders) or the addicted lover (our addictions to sex and to temporary hits of pleasure) or the Warrior (masochist).

Also, while it can be considered a prequel to the other boooks, I think it's worthy of buying on its own. I found a few of the others in the series light on in terms of content / depth (because much of the content is the same across each volume). That said, it must have been a very hard job to research and write the volumes, so have no criticism from that standpoint. The books are undoubtedly inspirational and anything that helps me connect more to my masculine and my fellow men is very much welcomed in my quarter.

I've listened to one of the author's tape sets - on the Magician, and I quite enjoyed it. Although there's no way I'd take much of what he said at face value. It's great when a group of men come together and be real, talk about their challenges, victories, hopes, desires and laugh and connect with one another and for that, those tapes were worth their weight in gold.

I'd highly recommend also Sam Keen's 'Fire in the Belly', Iron John, Knights without Armour, and for advanced spiritual practitioners anything by David Deida, starting with his wonderful 'Way of the Superior Man' for an outline of his 'model' see intimate communion or you'll find him on the web.

Think about it, imagine men being really connected to their warriors (to get things done), their heart (lover), have the tools and awareness to create change and transformation in the world (magician) and be in their true, authentic power (King) to guide, inspire and lead others to create that change for the good of all. And then consider what we see in the world today... people acting unconsciously out of their fears, greed, selfishness, ingrained unconscious patterns and gross sense of separativeness and self centredness. You can see why this work is so important.

There are far too few books in the mens movement, and even fewer good ones, this is one of better ones. We're lucky to have men who've put the effort into creating works like this. Highly recommended reading!

5 out of 5 stars To anyone who might be interested in psychology or personal growth.......2006-11-10

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover is a great book.
Personally, what I've found most interesting was the picturing of how men can manifest the archetype's energies in infantile manners. It's also very interesting how it maps the archetypes with certain myths and religions. Personally, I like the "all the different theories fit together" feeling it gives.
I would not say that this is a self-help book. But in times where children raising is so poor, the book plays its part in helping men become more mature. And that is very, very valuable.
That's it. Sorry for my bad english.

4 out of 5 stars Prequel.......2004-10-02

In such a slim volume, the authors did a splendid job of introducing the reader to their 4 male archetypes. They concisely describe these archetypes and provide some arguments for their theory and some applications of their findings. Moore is a Jungian psychologist and Gillette is a mythologist. It's an interesting and fertile collaboration of specialties. But, they simply cannot do justice to the 4 archetypes in one, tiny, volume. Thus, they wrote and published a volume on each of the 4 archetypes (5 books in all). Therefore, I'd consider this an introductory volume or prequel (a bit like the Hobbit to the Lord of the Rings trilogy). It's good in its own right, but better viewed as part of a much larger work. This larger work rates at least 5 stars. By the way, Dr. Moore has also produced numerous audio tapes for the C. G. Jung Institute of Chicago (I'm a life member) which you can buy (or rent if you join). He's a great speaker. In addition to listening to the tapes, I've heard him in person when he came to Maryland. Great drawl!
The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • Must Read For Any Man
  • This manual is a home run
The Way of the Wild Heart Manual: A Personal Map for Your Masculine Journey
John Eldredge
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1418514136

Book Description

Based on John's new trade book, The Way of the Wild Heart Workbook sheds light on the initiation into manhood, reaching out to men who lacked the spiritual role models to help lead them through this rite of passage. It will reach out to "unfinished men" and help them identify their weaknesses, baggage, and uncertainties that hinder them in becoming the individuals and the mentors that they strive to be.

Eldredge identifies six stages that all men go through: the beloved son, the cowboy ranger, the warrior, the lover, the king, and the sage. In this workbook, Eldredge presents a working, walking model that men can apply to their daily lives.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Must Read For Any Man.......2007-02-11

This book get's at some of the most important issues a man must learn to stuggle with if he is to become the man is his capable of becoming. This book tells you what you must do to capture the experience of your best moments and how to bring them into your everyday life.

5 out of 5 stars This manual is a home run.......2007-01-01

The "Way of the Wild Heart" manual is an excellent way to make use of the the book that John calls the follow up to "Wild at Heart". This manual helps a man to process and pull out what was relevant about his masculine journey. That is, it helps him to make sense of what he is discovering about himself as he reads the "Way of the Wild Heart" and this manual gives him a place to do something with that information. To just read "Way of the Wild Heart" and then set it down and go, "good book" is to short change yourself massively. Craig and John have done a good job on this manual.
I do recommend dating the entries you make in the workbook as it helps you go back and make sense of things in order. (I don't necessarily do manuals in order.)
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology (Perennial Library)
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • HE : A must have / read book for every man growing up
  • The Grail serves God in Johnson's interpretation.
  • Every man is on a Quest
  • Good myth...but of what use?
  • Mythology as a mirror to the male psyche. Slim,but deep read
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology (Perennial Library)
Robert A. Johnson
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0060963964

Book Description

Robert A. Johnson, noted lecturer and Jungian analyst, updates his classic exploration of the meaning of being a man, and adds insight for both sexes into the feminine side of a man's personality.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars HE : A must have / read book for every man growing up.......2006-07-17

After gaining personal insights that I had never seen articulated so well, I gave HE to all my sons -5 - one of whom told me "that HE was a book which should be made mandatory reading for every boy in high school. HE helps put the forces which drive male psycholgy in perspective and balance incredibly well.

5 out of 5 stars The Grail serves God in Johnson's interpretation........2006-07-10

This small book actually began with 10 lectures given by Robert Johnson at an Episcopal Church. Thus they are concise and do not offer a broad array of examples. I found the book to be excellent and found it much more to the point that Emma Jung's long study of the Holy Grail myth in all it permutations.

Of course, as a Jungian, Johnson sees mythology as reflecting underlying psychological and spiritual processes that take place in the human psyche. These myths are spontaneous images from the unconscious and contain both psychological and spiritual truths. Myths allow the interaction of archetypes, which are patterns of life that are universally true for humans. Myths are to mankind as dreams are to an individual. Therefore a dream shows the dreamer a truth about themselves whereas the myth shows mankind a truth that applies to all of us.

Individuation is a process that Jung describes as a life long movement toward wholeness and completion. It involves the life long expansion of consciousness and the ability of the conscious ego or personality to reflect the total self. One interpretation of Jesus Christ is that of a man who has been able to allow the unconscious to fill up the self and be always present in the personality. Because God the Father moves through and emerges in the world through the human unconsious, Christ may say that he and the Father are one.

A primary first step in the individuation process is the confrontation with the Shadow. Actually the confrontation with various aspects of the Shadow continue throughout a lifetime, but the first encounter is usually of great psychological power. The negative repressed side of the personality, that longs for acceptance and integration, continually follows the ego until the strength is mustered to face the shadow, accept the shadow, and then integrate the shadow into the personality which increases the energy and strength of the personality/psyche because energy is no longer used to suppress the shadow.

After the shadow is integrated, many people then may develop to the point where they can integrate the anima/animus, which is the characteristics of the opposite sex into their more complete psyche. It is here that Johnson points out the Parsifal and quest for the Holy Grail is in fact a myth of the male reconciliatoin with the anima who becomes a guide and leads him to the Grail.

Here Emma Jung and Robert Johnson would have slightly different interpretations of the Holy Grail myth. Whereas both see the anima as being essential to reaching the Grail, Johnson believes the integration of the feminine, the Anima, is a major and tricky task for young men. Also, whereas Emma Jung saw the grail as serving mankind as an expanded consciousness through which much psychic material may now flow; Johnson sees that the grail serves mankind through and expanded consciousness but also serves God because it is through this expanded consciousness that God flows into human interactions and becomes real and active in the world. This is a philosophical and theological issue of great importance. The first question is: Is God an active participant in the world and in the lives of men? Johnson goes beyond Deism, which would acknowledge God acting through nature, and would assert that God acts through the unconscious of mankind and it is through expanded and integrated consciousness that God becomes real in the world of men. Thus the Grail, the symbol of the accessible unconscious, serves man and God. This is the key to both Emma Jung's and Robert Johnson's work. She would emphasize that the Grail serves man and Johnson would emphasize that the Grail serves God, but both would acknowledge that the Grail serves both. This is the point of Johnson's book but he takes you down many fruitful trails to reach this point. I will point out some of these paths:

The Fisher King has wounds so severe that he cannot live, yet he is incapable of dying. The kingdom is dependent on the virility and power of its rule. As an adolescent, the Fisher King is burned on the fingers when he tries to eat hot broiled Salmon. He touches the divine part of his own unconscious but it is too hot for his consciousness to handle. He touches his individuation but can not hold it. His life becomes barren, his wound never heals, and he can not cure himself even though he and the Grail are in the same castle. The fool must come to cure the king.

Parsifal is the holy fool, the innocent, who emerges from the forrest nieve and full of creative possibilities. He is entraced by the knights and longs to become one. He must break with his poor heartbroken mother, Heartsorrow, on his journey to be a man. All men must be somewhat disloyal to their mother on the path to manhood and toward individuation. His first quest is to fight the Red Knight and gain his armour. He kills the Red Knight and thus takes on masculine power, courage and virility. However when he gets on the Red Knights' horse, he can't steer or stop it but must let it run its course. This is the symbol of a young man's first forray into the world of power where forces can be let loose which no one can control. Johnson points out that a boy gets his red Knight armour by taking it from someone else. This is the way of young male competetion. But a man must not carry the young male competitiveness throughout life, he must move beyond the Red Knight. A young male moves beyond the red Knight when he learns to master his own aggression. So every young man must defeat the Red Knight, take on the armour of power, aggression, virility, strength, courage, but must also not let these attributes consume the entire psyche. Parsifal gets a mentor, Gournamond, who teaches him chivalry and the skills of knighthood. He also tell Parsifal that he must seek the HolY Grail, the ture vocation of all knights, that he must not seduce or be seduced by a woman, and that he must ask "Whom does the Grail serve?" at the right moment in the castle of the Fisher King.

There are many women in the story who play various aspects of the Anima, but it is White Flower and the Ugly Hag who play critical roles as the positive and negative anima, each with a part to play.

The book ends with a really good explanation of why the Holy Grail serves the Grail King (God) and also serves Parsifal. Parsifal asks the question and the Fisher King is healed immediately, he becomes whole. But God now has a path, a window, into the world of Man and thus the Grail ultimately served God's purposes. Even though this interpretation of the Holy Grail story is more Christian in interpretation than that of Emma Jung, both are fantastic and insightful reading.

4 out of 5 stars Every man is on a Quest.......2005-10-16

This book is disjointed, underdeveloped, and, at times, cursorily written. Why, then, the four gold stars?

Because it reveals every man's story: through the retelling of the deeply symbolic Grail Legend, it unmasks many of the landmark trials in man's psychological development, and it does so in an unassuming way.

Some of the trials Mr. Johnson addresses are:

1) The Fisher King Wound - that happy fall that casts him out of his "ignorant paradise" into duality and starts him on the arduous path toward redemption and wholeness.
2) The healing function of the Inner Fool (the childlike unconscious)
3) The Red Knight killing (overcoming the Shadow and using its power for strength)
4) The poison of the Mother Garment (overcoming the mother complex)
5) Learning from the Godfather (furthering one's masculine development)
6) The mother death (the necessary separation from the mother in the transition from boy to man)
7) Blanche Fleur (the Anima, or internal feminine motivator) and her danger
8) The Hideous Damsel (Doubt, Hatred) that motivates a new grail search
9) Consulting the Old Hermit (our wise, introverted aspect within that leads us toward the Grail)
10) The true meaning of the Grail

I saw myself on every page and had many awakenings about my identity, about masculinity, even about the development of western civilization.

The writing at times may be muddled, but this book is a rich and momentous journey which will help you on your own.

3 out of 5 stars Good myth...but of what use?.......2005-09-26

The premise: through an understanding of the Fisher King myth, one may acquire the sufficiency to overcome the obstacles of his or her masculine psychology -- in turn, progressing towards self-actualization.

Although this pamphlet-sized volume offers an interesting read of the myth itself, I find a total absence of applicable psychology. Instead, Johnson reveals similarities between the myth and the universal dilemmas of the stages of masculine psychological development. Nothing more. Even after a second more careful reading, I find no practical approach to masculine psychology. In fact, the book reads more like a selection from the New Age genre -- each chapter posing an imminent revelation, yet failing to deliver.

If one is truly intersted in a layman's introduction to masculine psychology -- along the vein of Jung and Campbell -- then there are more thorough and practical books available. I might suggest Jean Bolen's GODS IN EVERYMAN.

4 out of 5 stars Mythology as a mirror to the male psyche. Slim,but deep read.......2005-01-01

"He" is a book that takes the mythological tale of the Fisher King, and parallels it with stages and traits of the modern male psyche. Granted the book is a slim one with only about 80 pages, but it's something you can read over and over. There are so many characters and parts to the classic tale that it's easy to go beyond the meanings and modern examples that the author gives along the way. After you read it once, I suggest reading it again while sitting down and making notes on the characters and basic outline of the central myth. It's an insightful read no matter what state you feel your life is in right now.

Not too long ago I saw the movie "The Fisher King" (Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges) for the first time. I wouldn't have understood half of what was going on if it wasn't for this book. As the author even explains, there are different variations to the story, and the movie doesn't match up 100% to the book. But after you read the book, it might be fun to rent the movie to see another example of the symbols manifested in modern times.

Although the Fisher King story itself deals with the Holy Grail myth, the lessons and over all message are actually quite secular. The author draws a few religious parallels, but they didn't distract from the main lessons that the myth teaches. And believe me, I'm talking as a guy who's the furthest from being god-fearing or even a philanthropist.

With so many books on feminism, countless commercials and sitcoms that constantly use the male as the butt of jokes, and universities that even offer "Women's Studies" majors, it's refreshing to find a book that looks into male behavior without being guilt-ridden and self-defeating about it.
Healing the Masculine Soul: God's Restoration of Men to Real Manhood
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • BUY THIS BOOK. NOW!
  • Healing the Masculine Soul: God's Restoration of Men to Real Manhood
  • One of the most lucid approaches to men's issues I've ever seen.
  • Wonderful book
  • A Very Important Book
Healing the Masculine Soul: God's Restoration of Men to Real Manhood
Gordon Dalbey
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0849944384

Book Description

In his groundbreaking book fifteen years ago, Gordon Dalbey identified the fact that men's souls have been torn between strength and sensitivity. Today, the situation is even worse. The politically correct crowd cries out for men to be more sensitive, to tame their masculine nature. On the opposing side, the media bombards men with "macho" images of violence and lust. Is it any wonder men are left bewildered about who they should be?

In this newly revised and updated edition of Healing the Masculine Soul, Dalbey claims that there's hope for restoration, hope for healing-because Christ has come to heal us. God is calling men out to a relationship with Himself and calling them out to authentic manhood. "Our task is not to curse our manhood, but to redeem it," he writes.

Gordon Dalbey's refreshing, comprehensive picture of God's design for the masculine soul dares men to be as God created them to be-not as society demands. Dalbey tackles the tough issues, including work, sexuality, marriage, and fatherhood.

Book includes Study Guide.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars BUY THIS BOOK. NOW!.......2007-08-31

Disclaimer -- This is a Christian Book

I've read all the 'landmark' books on Mens studies ( Bly, Keen, Goldberg, Weber, Real, Eldredge...etc..) and Dalbey gets the Gold Medal.

Dalbey mixes authenticity, spirituality, intellect wonderfully. He doesn't run away from so many thorny issues as other Christian authors do -- he walks right through the challenging issues of Porn, Homosexuality, Domestic Violence, Abortion and challenges the 'church' and non-church people alike to start seeing their shame and start taking responsibility in their lives by building a relationship with their real father -- Heavenly Father.

5 out of 5 stars Healing the Masculine Soul: God's Restoration of Men to Real Manhood.......2007-04-03

A refreshing portrait of the soul of man. This book provides the tool kit for rebuilding our hearts, and restoring our souls. The healing sword of Gods word is used with precision to cut away decades of the American man's sinful fall into passivity.

5 out of 5 stars One of the most lucid approaches to men's issues I've ever seen........2007-03-13

Wow ... if there were a six-star option I would use it here. If you are a man, read this book. If you are a wife or mother or in any other way love a man, read this book.

Mr. Dalbey, with great credibility, lays out a case that explains why we are so lost as men today. If you don't think you are, but have the courage to explore the possibility, then read this book anyway. Both culturally and personally, the author teaches us why we stumble so easily and then he reaches out and tells us how to begin the process of change for our relationships and communities. It doesn't matter if you are Christian, Jew, agnostic or atheist. If you have a concern for the direction of our families and our culture, if you have a history of troubled relationships, if you lack for male friendships, if you want to break the cycle with your children, (pick your own cycle -- you probably are perpetuating one or more) especially with your son, and equip them to soar in this world, you must read this book. This is not just another psycho-speak, self-help book. Buy an extra highliter. You'll need it.

5 out of 5 stars Wonderful book.......2006-07-05

The book is right on point with the issues of manhood. It reminds me of another similar book, called False Roads To Manhood. Gordon does an excellant job of pulling back the viel on the hidden problems swempt under the emotional carpet of manhood. Fathers and sons will be enlightened on the importance of their connection to each other. Healing the Masculine soul is for generation after generartion of men.

5 out of 5 stars A Very Important Book.......2006-05-25

Dalbey doesn't just assess the problems with masculinity in America (and the American church) today, but gives incredible insights on how to turn things around in your life.

I wish more men would read this book and apply its message.
The Masculine Self
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • Excellent Overview
The Masculine Self
Christopher Kilmartin
Manufacturer: McGraw-Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0073035327

Book Description

Significantly expanded, updated, and improved with 50% new material, this is a comprehensive review of scholarly research and theory in men’s studies. No other book can approach it in its coverage of the volume of men’s studies research, its provision of a theoretical context for understanding the research, and its boxed features--most of which highlight the human aspects of the subject matter. Organized in three parts, the book offers a view of masculinity from a wide variety of perspectives. The first two chapters provide an introduction to contemporary concepts of men and masculinity, as well as the scientific study of sex and gender. In the second section, these concepts are applied to the major schools of psychological theory: psychobiology, social learning, humanism/existentialism, psychoanalysis, and socioculturalism. The last part of the book summarizes “men’s issues:” work, emotion, relationships, physical health, mental health, violence, and the changing definitions of what it means to be male in contemporary society.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Excellent Overview.......2006-04-21

I teach a university course on Male Identity Development, and use this as requried reading. It is the best, and most balanced overview I have found regarding the social science of men and masculinity. It does not take a "male bashing" perspective, nor is it defensively pro-male. Rather, it looks at masculine development from a number of perspectives. So many other books on men seem to have an "axe to grind", but this tries to stay objective. My students also find it to be quite readable. I look forward to a 3rd edition.
Just a Geek
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Not Just A Geek, but an Author, too!
  • A Peek Inside...
  • Please don't shut up, Wesley!
  • Hollywood is missing out, but at least we have this book
  • Good stories, not enough details...
Just a Geek
Wil Wheaton
Manufacturer: O'Reilly Media, Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 059600768X

Book Description

Wil Wheaton has never been one to take the conventional path to success. Despite early stardom through his childhood role in the motion picture "Stand By Me", and growing up on television as Wesley Crusher on "Star Trek: The Next Generation", Wil left Hollywood in pursuit of happiness, purpose, and a viable means of paying the bills. In the oddest of places, Topeka, Kansas, Wil discovered that despite his claims to fame, he was at heart Just a Geek. In this, his newest book, Wil shares his deeply personal and difficult journey to find himself. You'll understand the rigors, and joys, of Wil's rediscovering of himself, as he comes to terms with what it means to be famous, or, ironically, famous for once having been famous. Writing with honesty and disarming humanity, Wil touches on the frustrations associated with his acting career, his inability to distance himself from Ensign Crusher in the public's eyes, the launch of his incredibly successful web site, wilwheaton.net, and the joy he's found in writing. Through all of this, Wil shares the ups and downs he encountered along the journey, along with the support and love he discovered from his friends and family. The stories in Just a Geek include: - Wil's plunge from teen star to struggling actor - Discovering the joys of HTML, blogging, Linux, and web design - The struggle between Wesley Crusher, Starfleet ensign, and Wil Wheaton, author and blogger - Gut-wrenching reactions to the 9-11 disaster - Moving tales of Wil's relationships with his wife, step-children, and extended family - The transition from a B-list actor to an A-list author Wil Wheaton--celebrity, blogger, and geek--writes for the geek in all of us. Engaging, witty, and pleasantly self-deprecating, Just a Geek will surprise you and make you laugh.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Not Just A Geek, but an Author, too!.......2007-08-29

Like Mr. Wheaton's other book, I was very pleased with this one as well. I could relate to the "geekness", being a recovering geek myself.
Wonderful book.

4 out of 5 stars A Peek Inside..........2007-05-13

I bought this book because I started reading Wil Wheaton's blog and some of the articles he's been writing for various internet sites and found them to be very funny. So, I thought I was going to get a funny, behind-the-scenes look at Star Trek:TNG. I didn't get that. What I got was excerps from his blog over the past 5 years or so. And it really wasn't all that funny. I actually cried (yes, cried) a lot more than I laughed. But you know what? I wasn't disappointed. It turns out to be a peek inside WW's head and his journey from seeing himself as a washed up actor to being happy being a writer, family man, and "Just a Geek." It's really a much more human story that the average person can relate to (I know I did!) instead of being a gossip-fest.

Wheaton writes in an easy, conversational style sprinkled with interesting, occasionally brilliant descriptive turns of phrase. Is he the next F. Scott Fitzgerald? Probably not. But it is an easy, enjoyable read about a guy coming to grips with his life taking a big left turn that he didn't intend to take. Even if you don't know Wil Wheaton from Adam and have never seen a Star Trek episode in your life, you will enjoy this book, because it's not about being a Trekker. It's about being a human.

5 out of 5 stars Please don't shut up, Wesley!.......2007-04-01

"Just a Geek" by Wil Wheaton is an incredible book. Wil has proven himself not only a gifted actor, but a gifted writer. The book is raw and revealing. You feel every emotion right along with him. Tears well up when he does not land that role. You feel his love for his wife and stepsons. You experience the joy he finds in doing Star Trek conventions, meeting fans, and writing his blog. You will roll with laughter at the fireworks story. You see Wil, not as an untouchable Hollywood actor, but a real man, complete with all the trials, tribulations, and joys that all of us experience. My only complaint is with the foul language. This is not a book for kids, unless it is filtered by a parent, but it is a must-read, especially for the Gen Xer and Trekkie.

5 out of 5 stars Hollywood is missing out, but at least we have this book.......2007-02-24

I laughed, I cried, but more than that, Wil Wheaton made me feel part of his life and shared struggles I had also experienced.

Snubbed by Hollywood execs since he quit Star Trek his audience has had to follow him via his blog or his live comedy performances. It's a big loss to the movie industry but our gain as it is unlikely he would've written such a brutally honest account of his transition from struggling actor to writer if he had still been caught up in the Hollywood madness.

I can't wait for the next book.

4 out of 5 stars Good stories, not enough details..........2006-04-06

Wil is all over the map in this book, but understandably so since it's mostly expanded versions of posts from his blog and his commentary on making them. It's good material, however it doesn't go into deep enough detail in many of the stories, leaving you thinking "That's good, but is that really it?" The material could use more spicing up, or at least some deeper thoughts on the subject. He could have made the book twice as long and used smaller print without it seeming like too much, really. A for effort, B- for execution. Still, very much worth reading.
Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity
Average customer rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
  • One issue you are overlooking is translation
  • Are all sons from fatherless homes homosexuals???
  • For every man, boy, teenager, son and father
  • Excellent!
  • The book I'd been looking for all my life
Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity
Guy Corneau
Manufacturer: Shambhala
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Accessories:
  1. Health o Meter  HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
  2. philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 0877736030
Release Date: 1991-03-27

Book Description

An experience of the fragility of conventional images of masculinity is something many modern men share. Psychoanalyst Guy Corneau traces this experience to an even deeper feeling men have of their fathers' silence or absence—sometimes literal, but especially emotional and spiritual. Why is this feeling so profound in the lives of the postwar "baby boom" generation—men who are now approaching middle age? Because, he says, this generation marks a critical phase in the loss of the masculine initiation rituals that in the past ensured a boy's passage into manhood. In his engaging examination of the many different ways this missing link manifests in men's lives, Corneau shows that, for men today, regaining the essential "second birth" into manhood lies in gaining the ability to be a father to themselves—not only as a means of healing psychological pain, but as a necessary step in the process of becoming whole.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars One issue you are overlooking is translation.......2007-03-24

The reviews of this book are very intriguing, and they throw some light on Corneau's approach to pscyhology and myth as well as the readers' desire to gain some knowledge. However, no one has mentioned the important fact that the book was translated from French. Most of Corneau's other publications are in his presumedly native language. Any real understanding of the book would have to begin with reading it in the original version. Many cultural differences and assumptions of the translator would show up in the English language version. The opinions of reviewers might change completely were everyone have the chance to read the French text.

1 out of 5 stars Are all sons from fatherless homes homosexuals???.......2005-04-26

A very opinionated book. the author uses jung psychology exclusively. No other views or extrapolations are used. Tunnel vision and too stringent for the 21th century. Usually when a book is written on a well writtten subjest matter---fatherless sons--their are other view points and outcomes that can be discussed. The cover is misleading "The Search for Masculine identity", where does it suggest gender changes or subconscious desires. All in all, it was a negative read-depicting fatherless sons, all fatherless sons to be doomed for many years with problems (at the end of the book he touches upon additional dark issues .There are positive outcomes , not that homosexuality is bad, why not talk about the strengths and positive parenting of the fatherless sons. It could have been touched upon. The theory is stagnant viod or modern thought, and multilinear thinking.
Too much of one trained thinking is not good and no credit to the author. Furthermore,

4 out of 5 stars For every man, boy, teenager, son and father.......2004-06-13

First, it is very important for a male to acknowledge he has masculine "identity issues," moreso than any female, who (in one stage at least, that of maiden) has her monthly cycle as an affirmation of her sexual identity.

Second, he must also recognize the rituals and ceremonies that are performed cross-culturally during puberty as an initiation of the boyhood-to-manhood transition, most importantly along with one's own father or a male role model. Circumcision is one, along with certain Native American rites of him hanging by his hooked chest in the sun until he pulls the hooks out. The male, unlike the female, needs his psyche to be shocked with the impression of maturity, and coming into his own, separate from the mimicked father figure, and at the same time away from the mother (Oedipus complex, as opposed to the woman's Elektra complex). It may not come simply from one act alone, should it be insufficient. Sometimes these may be violent or dangerous, even life-threatening, such as hazing or Russian Roulette.

I do not think that all cases of homosexuality stem from identity and mother/feminine issues - in fact, perhaps a small percentage of the homosexual population. It is a natural phenomenon which has been observed even in animals; that is perhaps my only reservation about this book. The results of incomplete masculinity can result in depression and lack of sociability, among other things described. This book also gives real-life cases as examples.

Aside from the aforementioned reasons as to why there are such issues, I personally am of the opinion that it is also due to the father being away from home (traditional role of working, though it is being reduced, even reversed, or responsibilities shared equally by both parents) or no longer being with his family (divorced, deceased, absentee or broken up). The mother is perhaps with the children more often, and definitely bonds with them first and on a different level. (...)

4 out of 5 stars Excellent!.......2004-03-28

Very well written book about the problems and issues between fathers and sons. Loved it!

5 out of 5 stars The book I'd been looking for all my life.......2002-09-17

The picture on the cover of this book illustrates exactly how I have felt my whole life. This book has been a great help to me for years, and I wonder why more books like this aren't available; I had searched and searched for that book that described exactly what I was experiencing and how to heal from it, and I had all but given up, concluding that such a book had not been written and that no one else had ever experienced what I have. As "fate" would have it, I would soon stumble across ABSENT FATHERS, LOST SONS. I felt vindicated. I have found other books that have been very helpful for me, but this book feels as though it were written specifically for me. And since others have found this book helpful, I realize that I in fact am not alone in what I have experienced.

Guy Corneau has noticed what I have: he opens by saying that males in general have more developmental problems than women, and therefore it is puzzling that more is not being done to help men. Corneau argues that all men live in a kind of hereditary silence and that we fear that any man who speaks out about pain is a threat to male solidarity. The result of not speaking out is that men suffer alone and in silence, and the pain gets channeled in other directions; as Corneau points out, men far outnumber women in the prison systems. Corneau argues that for a man "to not have a father is to not have a backbone," and that the resulting lack of structure often results in anti-social behavior; men with absent fathers (emotionally absent will suffice) often turn to what Corgneau terms the "dark father complex," the clinging to extreme and often violence-based models of masculinity (such is the case with men who join gangs, etc.).

Two things that I found very interesting: Corneau argues that men who have not felt close enough to their fathers, will often be insecure in their sexuality and this will often result in them becoming "seducers"; the logic being that if they seduce enough women, and appear in the eyes of society to be "studs," then they will make up for the emptiness and insecurity they feel from never having been "confirmed" by their fathers, i.e., never having felt that their fathers accepted them as men. Corneau says that often when a man thinks he is running low on women, he is actually running low on men. Another fascinating thing is that Corneau argues that "seducer" men are often highly sensitive men who refuse to acknowledge and accept their sensitivity. These issues are described in my favorite chapter of the book, where the author discusses the various roles men find themselves in: the Hero, the Good Boy, the Eternal Adolescent, the Male Feminist, the Seducer, and the Homosexual. Corneau takes us through each of these roles and describes them step-by-step. Corneau argues that homosexual men are often obeying the unspoken command that they should never belong to any woman but their mother.

This book has been extraordinarily helpful for me for years now. I don't know where I'd be without this book. I would like to meet the author and shake his hand. ABSENT FATHERS, LOST SONS has helped me come to terms with myself, understand myself, and realize that I am not alone; many men suffer from the pain of not having felt close enough to their fathers. This book presents a somewhat revolutionary idea for this day and age: that fathers *are* important.

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  2. We the Kids: The Preamble to the Constitution of the United States
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  8. Zen and the Art of Making a Living: A Practical Guide to Creative Career Design (Arkana)
  9. A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier
  10. A Man of Letters

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