Book Description
As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem.
Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.
Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse -- and different tactics from most other therapies and therapists -- You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.
Download Description
"As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent Self-help For Individuals & Couples.......2007-05-08
Stosny's book is excellent! It teaches individuals how to heal from the pain anger has caused and how to heal relationhips damaged by anger in clear and simple steps. I have used the book in counseling with couples struggling in emotionally and physically abuse relationships. Doing the exercises and applying the principles in this book can bring peace and power to the individual and to the relationship.
The Best.......2007-04-29
In my opinion, the best book out there for healing angry, emotionally abusive relationships--for both partners. His approach has been tried and tested for years, and is much more effective than the typical anger management and batterer intervention and prevention programs.
No more walking on eggshells!!.......2007-04-23
This tremendous book is slowly chipping away at the walls of resentment, revealing a true sense of self that I thought was long since dead.
I'd also recommend "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" along side it. No matter what direction I choose, I am now positive that I will be much healthier and happier as a result.
The best book ever written on emotional abuse.......2006-08-09
I have read many books on emotional abuse and this book, by far, is the best. Dr. Stosny must have been a fly on our wall over the last 25 years to be able to reiterate "verbatim" some of the conversations and events that have happened in our home.
As a woman, I highly recommend this book for other women who either know they're being emotionally abused, or have that gnawing feeling deep down inside that tells them something just isn't right about their relationship.
Dr. Stosny provides you with insight into your situation, and a Boot Camp section for your husband/boyfriend to go through. He also provides advice on what to do if either party is unwilling to go through the process. Make no mistake - this is NOT a quick fix. The abuser must come to terms with the fact that the recovery process may take years to complete. But things can still get much better than they are now very quickly.
Ultimately, this book provided me with much needed peace of mind by showing me that I wasn't crazy to think that life HAD to better than this, and that I didn't have to live this way. If you are in this situation, or know someone who is and if you love them, PLEASE buy this book. It will be the greatest thing you could ever give them.
Extremely valuable and helpful book!!!.......2006-04-05
An angry or emotionally abusive relationship is overwhelming and confusing to both the husband and wife. Steven Stosny gives you a method with specific steps to take to get yourself out of this horrible situation, with both of you healing and hopefully saving your marriage. It is a remarkable book that has changed my life for the better. I have also been to his boot camp, which I highly recommend. Thank you Steven for giving my husband and I the tools to profoundly change our relationship back to a happy and loving one.
Amazon.com
From stapling her brother's hair to the pillow to freezing a dead fly in the ice cube tray, the impish protagonist of 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore never rests. This unflappable mischief-maker leaves a trail of exasperated family members, teachers, and crossing guards in her wake, but somehow we suspect she will grow up just fine…as a brilliant writer or inventor, no doubt. Told in the first person, the book is simply a series of the girl's "ideas" ("I had an idea to do my George Washington report on beavers instead") and consequences ("I am not allowed to do reports on beavers anymore") One imagines the list growing infinitely longer and more absurd; setting limits on our heroine's activities clearly has no bearing on her future behavior or creativity.
Nancy Carpenter's illustrations, rendered in pen and ink and digital media on crumpled and emery-boarded paper (!) are the perfect foil to Jenny Offill's hilariously dry text. The cool-as-a-cucumber narrator simply reports--the illustrations and our own imagination fill in the blanks. Wonderful. --Emilie Coulter
Book Description
I had an idea to staple my brother's hair to his pillow. I am not allowed to use the stapler anymore.
Here's a kid full of ideas, all day long. For example, in the morning, gluing her brother's bunny slippers to the floor sounds like a good plan. But now she's not allowed to use glue anymore. And what about when she shows Joey Whipple her underpants—they're only underpants, right? Turns out she's not allowed to do that again, either. And isn't broccoli the perfect gift for any brother? It's just too bad her parents don't think so. But she has the last laugh in this humerous first picture book by an acclaimed novelist of books for adults.
Customer Reviews:
Terrible.......2007-09-24
This is an awful, anti educational book and it was a mistake to buy it.
Really Real.......2007-09-12
I teach 3rd graders and this book has really gotten their attention. It is an easy read for them, but the message is what they appreciate the most. As they have all gotten into trouble at home doing some thing they shouldn't have! The cover is also unique as you think you are "feeling" the glue on the outside of the book! I hope you enjoy the book as much as we have.
Funny, fun read.......2007-09-11
I ordered this to read to my young grandchildren. The protagonist is so much like one of them. I expect they will ask to hear it over and over.
17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore.......2007-09-10
This is a delightful book to share with children. It's sure to get some giggles from both adults and children. Kids are so creative in their mischief.
don't buy it.......2007-08-30
As you read it, she does some silly stuff she's not allowed to do anymore but, ... "I'm allowed to say the opposite of what I mean forevermore", it's ok to mean the opposite of "I'm sorry"??!! teaching kids to lie?? This is a terrible book. I'm sending it back!
Product Description
What would you do if you met someone you thought just might be one of Jesus original disciples still living in the 21st Century? That's Jake's dilemma as he meets a man who talks of Jesus as if he had known him, and whose way of living challenges everything Jake had previously known. So You Don t Want to Go To Church Anymore is Jake s compelling journal that chronicles thirteen conversations with his newfound friend over a four-year period and how those exchanges turn Jake's world upside-down. With his help, Jake faces his darkest fears, struggles through brutal circumstances and comes out on the other side in the joy and freedom he always dreamed was possible. If you're tired of just going through the motions of Christianity and want to mine the depths of what it really means to live deeply in Christ, you ll find Jake s story will give you hope for your own. This book probes the difficult questions and offers some far-reaching answers. It just might turn your world upside-down as well!
Customer Reviews:
Amazing.......2007-08-27
This book is probably the best christian book I have read in the past 20 years. It has had a profound impact on my life and I would not hesitate to recommend it to anybody who is finding their church life lacking in ways one can not really put a finger on it. Feeling over committed? Having to fake it? Empty? This book is definately for anyone who is seeking with an open heart to find answers in God alone.
Amazing Book for All Christians, Even Those Who DO Want to Go to Church!.......2007-06-22
*****
This book is perfect for people who have been alienated by the Christian church and/or by Christians, but also for people who are happy with the Christian church. It is actually a book about how to be in love with Jesus, and how that can manifest in today's church environment. I am sharing this book with everyone I know who is a Christian, and will read it again myself.
It doesn't matter what your denomination is or what your beliefs are; if you want to return to a "first love"-type relationship with Jesus, buy and read this book. You will not be able to put it down.
It is written as a novel, with a mysterious character who may be the disciple John, and a burnt-out pastor as the main character, Jake. Pastor Jake's life is suspenseful over the four years that the novel takes place, and the changes that take place in his life and in his thinking are riveting.
I read this in one day and am sharing it with my daughter, friend, and husband on our vacation. It will deliver an experience---a memory recreated in the present, if that makes sense---of the closest moments you have had with God.
If you are offended by or disillusioned with Christians, and especially if you are out of church altogether, it will help you to deal with what has happened to you. It may or may not bring you back to the institutional church, as this is totally irrelevant to the book---it's about how we've substituted church for Jesus, and in doing so, missed the best thing of all.
Highly recommended.
*****
Thank you, Jake Colsen!.......2007-05-17
If you've ever wondered why you're bored with the whole idea of church, but you love Jesus and are frustrated because so much of what calls itself church just doesn't mirror HIM, including yourself, read this and feel understood. You are not alone.
I was saying, 'YES, YES, YES' all the way through. Challenging, sobering, tear-jerking, funny and encouraging... Buy lots to give away.
Journey Of A Lifetime.......2007-05-14
What an incredible book! An amazing journey into the depths of intimacy with God.
Christianity is how you live.......2007-03-19
I'm glad somebody has pointed out that Christians who don't want to go to church on Sunday morning are still Christians. This book discusses the real problems in the church and shows you how you can live out your Christian life outside the church.
Book Description
As seen in Self, Fitness, Real Simple, Health, Ladies' Home Journal, and Redbook, this much-praised celebration of women's friendships-now in paperback-explores the keys to forming emotionally supportive and sustaining connections at every stage in life.Embraced by some of the most popular women's magazines, this book has struck a chord with women everywhere who know that finding close friends as an adult isn't easy. Most women rely heavily on their friendships with other women to share their joy and see them through the rough spots, but common life changes-having a baby, leaving a job, moving to a new town, starting an at-home business, becoming divorced or widowed-not only make it difficult to forge new ties but often fray the ones we already have. Marla Paul brings together the moving personal experiences of many different women with the keen insights of psychologists and other relationship experts in "her wise and helpful book on this much neglected subject," says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
Customer Reviews:
The "Female Middle-Age" Friendship Crisis.......2007-09-20
The title is somewhat misleading. Ms. Paul is not addressing this topic from a gender-neutral perspective, though the topic is certainly large enough to warrant a separate treatment. Instead, this work addresses some of the more specific aspects of female friendships. Measured against that metric, the work is very well organized, complete, and empowering (and a quick read). Or at least I think it is, as being male I can only infer so much.
The author acknowledges early on this is a "for women" book, but I decided to read through it anyway, with the goal of trying to map the subject matter into a more widely applicable set of principles for all friendships. If you work at it, you can do that with about 40% of the material: friends break up, people's relative situations change that require them discuss and adjust the friendship, the role of the internet and friendships with large age differences. There is some subject matter here useful for all.
Still, the work was written for women, and much of the time you can't work around that. Indeed, parts of it are downright hostile to men, as if they have a different capacity for friendship than women. From the book, pg. 100: "A man whips into his relationship toolbox - tiny as it is - and tries to fix a problem with a wrench twist of advice. Now, could you please hand him the remote and make some popcorn." Or this: "Females are hardwired to turn to other women in times of stress....A guy may brood on his La-Z-Boy. Women call a friend.", which just scream of gender bias.
If you read past those parts, you can get some value from this book. I think the Robert Putnam book "Bowling Alone", which she quotes in several places, might offer better coverage of the more general topic.
Misleading title.......2007-01-11
I bought this book and its totally useless for men. It only refers to women, married or widoved ones, possibly with kids. What are we guys supposed to do??? Why limit the book to women only? I felt like everybody ignores men's solitude problems. If you write such a book, then you ahould state it clearly in the title or subtitle that it wont help guys.
A little disappointed.......2006-07-26
I really wanted to like this book as I felt the subject matter was so timely for what I've been going through, as a single, childless, woman in her late 30's. However, like many other reviewers said, it mostly fell short for me. I've tried, multiple times, many of the things the author suggests. Much of the book was written for women with children, however, I did read the entire book despite this fact. I consider myself shy and there's even a chapter about that - but I gleaned nothing from this chapter that I haven't already tried without much avail. I do think the author means well and although I really "liked" her, from what I could glean as she wrote about herself, I didn't find this book to be as helpful as I'd hoped.
Not just for married women w/ children.......2006-04-26
Another reviewer states this book is just relevant for women who are married and most likely have children. Not the case. Also, not the case that women without children have to make all the "sacrifices" to work around the schedule of those who do. You just need to be more aware and accomodating of things that go on in your friends' lives (you don't have to have children to lead a very busy life, you know). It's give and take and it's better not to keep score.
I don't have children, but I really benefited from reading the entire book because it showed me points of view and lifestyles that are different from my own. It helped me determine what I may have done wrong in the past (esp. related to my friends that have had children or got married long before I did--when our lives took very different paths) and what I could've done to save and preserve those friendships. I almost didn't read the chapter on losing a husband thru divorce or death because I didn't think it pertained to me. But it does...because most likely some day I will have a friend who loses her husband and it taught me how to help her and showed me her point of view--what she would want from me as her friend.
It's not just about finding and making friends. It's also about being a good friend to the ones you've got--married, single, with, or without children.
Thank you, Marla Paul, for writing this book!
too generalized .......2006-04-22
The problem for me is that the author gives generalized advice without specifics. She has a good heart, and it's mostly about don't feel bad don't take it personally if someone doesn't want to be your friend. Book is not about why women lose friends all the time, and the destructive competitiveness. I found the book is a little too positive and not realistic enough.
Book Description
"I don't love you anymore." These simple words have the power to send the listener into shock, denial, and desperation. The obvious response is to ask oneself, "What can I do to win my partner back?" In I Don't Love You Anymore, Dr. David Clarke provides just the battle plan needed.
Contrary to what many relationship "experts" recommend-weak, passive plans that involve begging or romancing a spouse back-Clarke offers an approach that he calls guerilla love, which essentially turns the tables on the wandering spouse. He outlines the biblical view of marriage and instructs readers on:
- Drawing healthy boundaries.
- Five things he really means when he says, "I don't love you anymore."
- The most popular "exit lies" and how to see through them.
- Classic symptoms of a person who is having an affair.
Most important, Clarke empowers and equips readers to make the best, most God-honoring, attempt at saving a marriage.
Customer Reviews:
The best and most helpful advice.......2007-08-21
I threw my husband out of the house when I found out he was having an affair with a woman at work. I was devastated, but he would not stop seeing this woman and was staying away from home for days at a time without any contact at all with me or our two small children. I told him he had to stop the affair or the marriage was over. He lied and said he did, but I found out shortly after I reconciled with him that he was still seeing her. After he left the second time, I struggled mightily with my decision and wavered between staying strong and falling apart whenever he'd call me. In short, whenever I became passive and sweet and forgiving, thinking he was having a change of heart, he'd invariably stomp all over me. He froze our bank accounts, came into the house without my knowledge and destroyed things, and ran up debts of almost $75,000. Once I got a lawyer, got tough, and said, "No more," and followed through with it, he backed off and began to treat me with more respect. I did end up divorcing him, but even with our struggles, the children and I are much happier now. Their father has ignored them for almost five years, but periodically he will call me up in the middle of the night, crying and leaving messages on the voice mail, begging to be forgiven. Ladies, do NOT make the mistakes I did. If he's determined to destroy your marriage, PLEASE do what you have to do to protect yourself and your kids. He won't do anything to help you, I guarantee it. If he suspects at all that because you still love him and are grieving the loss of your family, you'll do anything for him (like I did), you're finished. Please read this book, and as much as it hurts, face reality. Maybe he'll change, and maybe he won't, but enabling him and allowing him to repeatedly hurt and humiliate you will NOT bring him back.
great if you are new to the marriage failing.......2007-08-17
I read this book when my husband had already moved out and is living with another women. For me, this book was too late but if you are in a place where your life partner is about to leave or has just left....this book is great. I am a Therapist and I highly recomend this book.
Must Reading for Every Spouse who has Heard These Words.......2006-01-13
This book is excellent and must reading for every spouse who has heard the words, "I don't love you anymore." As I read the book, I didn't want to believe the author about what was really going on in my marriage, that my husband was emotionally detached from me and that drastic action would need to be taken if the marriage had a chance of being saved. This is about tough love, not changing for them so that you are "acceptable" to them. I did that (tried to be the wife he wanted me to be) but it didn't work anyway. They were just excuses he gave me of why he was so unhappy.
You will not regret reading this book and implementing what Dr. Clarke says to do. If you have heard the above words, please get this book as soon as you can and follow it. There is a chance your marriage may be saved. I know how painful this time is--I was married for 20 years to my husband when this happened and could not imagine life without him--but take it from me that this is necessary.
YIKES!!!!.......2005-08-19
This book fails to address the fact that there are ALWAYS 2 people in any dynamic, and only puts the blame on the offending partner, instead of looking at WHY it happened. Shaming someone does not help anyone grow. I do not believe this interpretation of the author's belief about what the Bible says.
I loved his other book "A Marriage Made in God's Eyes," but I found this book almost in direct contradiction to that one. I DO NOT recommend this book.
If you are serious about regaining respect in your marriage.......2005-04-28
If you are even considering buying this book then you must be at a very dark and confusing time in your life. At least I was when I bought it. Reading this book really put things into perspective and reassured me there was hope no matter what the outcome would be. It's a very matter of fact approach but that is what's necessary when you are going through hard times. Let's just say I was in the finale stage of the book's suggestions and had given up all hope when things turned around for me. I am a firm believer in keeping family together...if it's worth holding on to. Stay strong, and don't lose sight of your needs.
Book Description
Diabetes Burnout is an interactive book that addresses the emotional issues that contribute to poor glycemic control and provides guidance to overcoming the barriers to good self-care. Worksheets help readers assess their current state of motivation and establish a successful plan of action.
Customer Reviews:
Life-saving psychological help with diabetes challenges.......2007-07-03
With diabetes, there is no walking away from the difficulties of the illnes; it can't be laid aside when the going gets tough. This great book helps look at and deal with the everyday difficulties that are real parts of living with diabetes. Dr. Polonsky is like a friend who understands and furthermore, has good suggestions for how to handle what you feel you can't live with any more. Great tone, helpful information, comforting message. Great book!
Diabetes Burnout.......2005-08-09
EXCELLENT book for those living with diabetes. Diabetes burnout is very common. This book is full of tips, suggestions, and even tests, to help you in dealing with diabetes.
Golden empathy at first but it only goes so deep.......2004-05-14
When I first saw the chapter for "Werewolf Syndrome" I knew I had to buy this book. It makes for an interesting read at first to learn about others' experiences. Though one thing the author fails to do is provide instruction on the process of motivation, and only provides a very shallow surface, if any, of scientific insight into why people get "burned out". I would suggest going to the book store and skimming this book to feel better about yourself but don't take it home with you.
One chapter he could've included would have been MY GENERAL PHYSICIAN HAS MISDIAGNOSED ME! I was burned out on my diabetes type II management. I couldn't get my sugars down! I would go to my GP and get the advice of take these pills and eat right. Then come back in three months we'll see if you're better. After two years I finally went to an endocronologist, *slap-slap*, and he is convinced I am type I LADA diabetes. Sure enough after a couple of insulin shots I am feeling normal! (Well, normal feels like a drug after having hyperglycemia for two years.) This is my chapter for the burnout book, sc$&@ the GP and go to an endocronologist.
This book tells it like it is.......2004-01-19
When I picked up Diabetes Burnout, I was truly amazed. Dr. Polonsky understands that there are "barriers to self-care," real life problems and situations that get in the way of doing what's best for our bodies.
He knows that people make a cost/benefit analysis when it comes to self-care. If the behavior is too hard or too unpleasant, and the rewards don't seem worth it, we're not going to consistently exercise, check sugars, or eat what we're supposed to.
This problem is not just true for people with diabetes. It applies to anyone with chronic illness, or really, to anybody at all. I knew about this from living with multiple sclerosis, and I wrote about it in my book. But I didn't think anybody else had developed these ideas. I was sure Dr. Polonsky must have some kind of chronic condition himself, because he knows what it's like. But he doesn't have an illness. He's just very insightful.
I really like the humor in this book. I know some reviewers accuse him of being "cutesy" or Disneyfying diabetes, but I think being able to laugh at your situation helps, even when it's really painful. His description of "werewolf eating" and "Diabetes police" are highly evocative -- they get the point across. I don't think he's talking down to anyone -- he has compassion for people's struggles and wants us to feel better.
It's true that Diabetes Burnout does not cite its sources very well and doesn't contain a lot of specific info on diets or other self-care practices. But that's not its purpose. He is giving tools for identifying and overcoming our barriers -- social, practical, psychological or economic. This is important -- some of those barriers may have been with us for decades, and overcoming them can change not just diabetes management, but also entire lives.
He also inspires by telling stories of real people he has worked with, who have made great strides in difficult circumstances. It's entertaining, inspiring and educational (just like my book :-). What more do you want?
David Spero RN, author of The Art of Getting Well: Maximizing Health When You Have a Chronic Illness (Hunter House 2002) and the upcoming Politics of Diabetes: Social Causes, Costs and Cures of an Epidemic (2005). www.davidsperoRN.com
Excellent book for ANYONE with a chronic illness.......2003-04-17
He makes some really stellar points and has already helped me begin changing over to a more "problem solving" approach, rather than my previous approach to type 2 diabetes, which could best be termed "denial and despair".
I think that removing the 'stinger' from long-term diabetes care requires a bit of pseudo-professional detachment. Rather than seeing my diabetes as a great dramatic production, with me as the tragic heroine, his book is helping me to see it as a series of discreet problems needing solutions (where possible) and acceptance (where no solution is possible).
You'd have to know me to know what a drastic change this is from my normal way of being: 'Drama Queen' just doesn't do me justice!
Anyway, I recommend his book to ANYONE with a chronic illness, diabetic or not. In fact, one could just replace the words 'diabetes' with 'obesity' and instantly turn his book into the best thing I have EVER read on the subject of long-term, permanent weight control. His approach speaks to any long-term health struggle even though it is explicitly (and skillfully) directed at diabetes and diabetics.
Book Description
"Very positive and in tune with our needs today."
LEO BUSCAGLIA
Alan Cohen's story is an inspiration. From his roots as an Orthodox Jew, he took a mind-expanding tour of the teachings of Jesus, Ram Dass, Zen, Jung, the Esalen Institute, and Einstein, to name a few. In this extraordinary collection of lyrical, challenging essays, Cohen synthesizes what he has learned from these masters, and shares his journey with all of us. He discusses overcoming limitations, creating fulfilling relationships, tuning into the flow of life, transformation, finding a personal path, and the greatest gift of all, love. Read it straight through, or essay by essay, for daily meditations on the mysteries of God, love, and the spiritual path.
Customer Reviews:
Spiritual Feast.......2007-05-12
The book is easy to read, can be taken in short bites or read in large chunks, but all of the chapters affirm life, love and the beauty of the human experience. I read this book at my father's hospital bedside for ten days, and it made the long days bearable. It's a book I'll keep on my "daily" shelf to read over and over again.
Illuminating Inspiration.......2006-09-16
He writes as if he is in touch with Spirit the whole time-- It takes you on a journey gently!!
Alan is the best!.......2006-03-10
I picked up one of Alan's books on clearance last year and have been hooked on his wonderful outlook, sense of humor and writing style. Everything I read by him gives a boost to my spiritual center and I feel I'm communing with a soul mate. This book speaks in everyday language about very powerful universal messages. I would recommend it to anyone of any age.
Dragon Tears and Dreams .......2004-10-05
Adversity is our dear friend. It is the driving force that pushes us out of our comfortable nest and forces us to learn to fly on our own. We can really welcome adversity as a gift. Without it our growth is very slow. With it, we are transformed from fledglings into masters. Every great person has a history of adversity. No one has ever made a contribution to humanity without first undergoing a certain amount of trials. ~Alan Cohen
Through Alan Cohen's books I've learned a lot about myself and quite a bit about life itself in all its highs and lows. Alan seems to encourage me to look at life as more of a challenge. He sees humor and lessons in situations that would cause others to sink into a deep depression. He has a secret way of looking at life that he reveals in his caring way and wise contemplations.
At the start of this book he lists dynamic ideas to open your heart and mind and then he delves into an almost autobiographical essay. If you are interested in how Alan started his journey, then this particular book will reveal his initial interests, his yearning for a connection with the Divine and how he sought out various books and teachers to guide him in his spiritual quest.
This book is divided into two sections: The Journey and The Homecoming. Alan talks about how he visited a Zen monastery, became interested in Ram Dass and Jesus' teachings and worked in a Seven-Eleven type store. He finally meets a spiritual teacher named Hilda who has a profound effect on his life.
Through stories, meditations and inspired insight he weaves a book to heal your soul and comfort you in times when you need a shoulder to cry on. You can draw strength from this book or make it a place of comfort and support. Some of the essay chapters include:
Enough is Enough
If Not Now, When?
Health, Wholeness, and Holiness
Seasons
The Key to the Future
Transforming Relationships
The Power of Appreciation
Courage
Golden Opportunities
Undoing Unworthiness
The Law of Attraction
There is an intimacy in Alan's books that mingles with humor and spiritual healing. It seems that when I'm feeling sad, Alan's books either make me laugh or help me to release my negative emotions in tears. So, either way, the reading of The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore helped me fight off a few angry invisible dragons. There are nice dragons too, I think. Those are the dragons that love to fly across the October moon and enjoy seeing their shadow floating across lakes.
After reading this book, you may want to watch the Dare to be Yourself video or look for additional books. When I read Alan's books, I seem to wake up the next day high on life itself. There is an energy in his books that makes me want to write!
~TheRebeccaReview.com
Dragons live.......2003-01-04
This book is one I will keep as it speaks of his search through different religious paths and what he learned on his journey. There are essays and daily meditations included.
Customer Reviews:
High-quality and informative..........2006-03-21
This tome is organized extremely well; one can start at the beginning or jump directly into any chapter. The background information is helpful and lucid for parents and the stories from the teens themselves tells it like it is but at the same time gives hope and tells of "the light at the end of the tunnel" for depressed teens, that things do get better. Highly recommended!
OK for teens wanting a quick-reference tool..........2005-12-07
In When Nothing Matters Anymore, Bev Cobain offers a teen-friendly reference guide to adolescent depression, complete with self-help suggestions, counseling resources, and case studies of teens who sought help for their illness and now lead "normal" adolescent lives. Cobain is a credentialed author: a certified registered nurse, a mental health professional, and a recipient of the National Mental Health Association's Green Ribbon Award for efforts on behalf of teen depression awareness; however, the book reads like Cliff's Notes of a more comprehensive text - as if Cobain simply compiled the bullet-point lists, sidebars, and quick-reference statistics from an American Psychiatric Association web listing for teen depression. When Nothing Matters Anymore relies little on Cobain's personal observations and extensive experience, and too much on peppy, inspirational messages from its case study teens.
The book is structured in two parts: What's Wrong? and Getting Help and Staying Well. What's Wrong? is primarily diagnostic, providing a checklist for the reader to determine whether he or she is depressed, explaining the varieties and causes of depression, and outlining the correlations between depression and chronic illness, sexual abuse, sexual identity, drug use and addiction, eating disorders, and "perceived differences" from peers. Getting Help and Staying Well highlights treatment options, suggests ways to seek help from family or trusted adults, and lists self-help activities for readers undergoing treatment. Both sections include "Survival Tips" that a health professional might suggest to any teen: Get Exercise, Have Fun, Eat Good Food, etc. There are some practical suggestions, like journaling and creating mood charts, and there is a chapter dedicated to the important topic of teen suicide, but the book as a whole rarely digs below the surface of the illness and underestimates its audience's desire (and perhaps ability?) to understand depression more fully.
One aspect of the book that seems borderline inappropriate is Cobain's ad nauseam referencing of her cousin Kurt, the popular lead singer of grunge band Nirvana, whose suicide shocked the MTV youth culture in 1994. Perhaps this approach is an effective way of securing "street cred" amongst teen readers, but this hook feels opportunistic at times, particularly in "A Letter to Kurt Cobain," a three-page, sappy, metaphor-heavy eulogy in which Cobain rues that Kurt's handlers wouldn't give her the access that could have prevented his suicide. I understand the intent is to show the readers that she cared for someone they cared about and saw the beauty of his music and the tragedy of his death as they did, but to a non-teen reader, it rings hollow. Had Cobain been close with Kurt, a reader might not bawk at this inclusion, but she mentions that she did not know Kurt "personally," a fact that makes the multiple, casual mentions feel like name-dropping.
Recomended for any teen with dissapointment.......2005-10-06
For the last year or so I had a few questions for myself. Why am I here? Whats my pourpose in life? Cant I just be dead? Dang do I wish I could give my life for some one else. This is really good book for any teen...
Not only is the author a good writer, it has a lot of good examples of other peoples life situations so you can auctly say "wow someone can really relate to my struggle".
Anyways, again its a good book and if you have any questions about it my hotmail address is [...]
When nothing mattered.......2005-03-28
Nothing mattered anymore, my grades went down, i didn't care about life, i wanted to die. so i attempted suicide, my wrist is scarred and mutated, everyone said i was insane. then i heard from the family circle magazine about this book, and i swear this has helped me, and i'm so glad that not everyone thinks depressed teens are insane or stupid. and i'm glad there are people like lisa hurka covington that are talking to teens how valuable life is, and helping them sort out their problems.
Helps teens take an active role in beating depression.......2005-01-10
This book combines compassion and empowerment with accurate information.
The author, a cousin of singer Curt Cobain, wrote this book to help make sense of her cousin's suicide. It is readable, knowledgeable and thorough. It helps adolescents understand what they might be feeling when they are depressed. It discusses how to interrupt the downward spiral and find a way out. The book covers both social and biological aspects of depression.
I felt that the author had a good intuitive grasp for how an adolescent might feel when he was in the depths of a depression. She reflects back the sense of isolation and hopelessness so that a depressed person feels understood. She provides information on how to get help when you don't feel that anyone out there is trustworthy.
She empowers teens by providing good information about the causes of depression and well as the treatments. For those who want more detailed information, she provides a resource list. I especially liked her section on how to stay healthy once you have recovered from the initial depression.
I have recommended this book to several teens. They felt that it made sense and was helpful
Product Description
Barbeque Society members share their secrets of perfect barbeque and accompaniments. These recipes enable you to cook better than the guy next door. A who's who and what's hot in barbeque. A 1996 National Winner of the Tabasco Community Cookbook Award. Inducted into the McIlhenny Hall of Fame, an award given for book sales that exceed 100,000 copies.
Customer Reviews:
Not really a Barbecue Book.......2005-09-14
While this book may come from a barbecue society it mostly deals with grilling instead of smoking. In addition, quite a few of the recipes lacked critical details. The "Champion's" recipes were laughable. I was hoping for more than
: Blue Ribbon Brisket: Ingredient list: 7-10 pound brisket trimmed, barbecue rub. Instructions: Season meat with rub, cook at 225 degrees until done. The side and dessert recipes were interesting, but that's not what I buy a barbecue book for
Useable Recipes.......2002-07-08
This is a FANTASTIC BOOK. It has a great deal of useable recipes in it. Unlike alot of cookbooks that just have a few. I highly recomend this cookbook. Would give it 10 stars if i could.Happy Barbecueing. It's time to fire up the Weber Smokey Mountain Smoker.
Great source for BBQ recipies.......1999-12-05
If you buy this book, you wont learn how to BBQ. It doesnt cover enough (or any) on selecting meat, selecting the BBQ smoker, proper cooking technique, etc. But what you do get, that makes this a worthwhile purchase, is a huge amount of great recipies. Where else can you be be looking for BBQ sidedishes like potato salad and coleslaw, and find multiple recipies of each?
A must-have for all BBQ lovers!!!.......1999-08-25
An absolutely wonderful kitchen tool for anyone who likes rubs, sauces and BBQ. My husband and I use this book religiously at least once a week and everything is great! The sauces and seasonings work well with all types of meat! BBQ certainly isn't just for breakfast anymore!
Customer Reviews:
This book was very comforting .......2006-03-03
Once I read this book, I realized that all of the things I was feeling were completely normal. I no longer felt all alone.The author described all the emotions that I had experienced losing both of my parents within one and a half years. I recommend reading this if you have lost a parent or have an aging or terminally ill one.
A nice little book but not quite..........2003-10-22
This is a really sweet little book but not quite what I was looking for. It was somewhat comforting to read about other people's experiences and how they felt when they're older parent(s) passed away but I guess I was and still am looking for something different. I just recently lost my dear father in a terrible accident but he was not old and he was very healthy. This book deals more with parents dying quite old and ill. Just not for me and my situation.
Not much comfort.......2003-10-08
This book was recommended by a Christian counselor after the death of both my parents within about a year's time. I found little comfort in the message of this book. The book looked at death from a New Age standpoint (we can find our comfort in the beauty of mother nature), from the Universalist standpoint (everybody goes to heaven when they die), and the Roman Catholic standpoint (we can pray to other dead people who are in heaven to help our recently deceased loved ones). The book never presents the cause for eternal salvation provided in God's Word - that faith and trust in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is our means to eternal life with God. Neither of my parents ever spoke about trusting in Jesus Christ prior to their deaths, and it is difficult not knowing if they understood the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we embrace the message of this book, then there's little need to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth, because either everybody goes to heaven, everybody joins to nature, or we can pray for them after they've passed away. I'd rather use the pain of my parents passing to encourage me to try harder to spread the Gospel of my wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth.
Permission to grieve as I have needed to.......2003-08-05
My 88 year old dad died January 8, 2003. Although I was unable to look at his picture for a couple of months, I thought I was "handling it" just fine. Besides, although my mother was also suffering from dementia, she was obviously aware that Daddy was gone and I needed to concentrate on her. Then on May 7, 2003, Mama died - and I began to grieve. It was almost like losing them both the same day. I guess as long as my mother was still here, I still felt a connection to my dad as well. I never expected to hurt so badly. They were 88, in extremely poor health and had not been like the parents I had known for quite some time. But now they are gone.Even knowing this was coming and being 50 years old myself, I was still devastated. After I had finished everything with the memorial service and everyone had gone home, I began to realize how very bereft I was. I felt foolish having so much grief - after all, they were old and sick, better off now, etc., all of the usual platitudes. I have a strong religious faith and have no questions as to where they are now. I did not want them to continue suffering. And yet, I missed my mom and dad. I first read "The Orphaned Adult," which was extremely helpful and which I recommend. But I still seemed to be sadder than I thought I should be for a person losing parents later in life. I could no longer sleep through the night, if I got to sleep at all. I had thought about ordering this book for a while, but felt I was being too self indulgent. Finally I gave in and I am so thankful I did. Ms. Bartocci hit me "right where I lived." She put words to my sadness and gave me the permission to "still" feel sad. She describes grief as individual to each of us, which made me feel less of a "freak." As I said, I am not a "group help" person. This book, as another reviewer stated, was like having a group in my home. It has now been three months since my mother died. I still start to go to the phone to call her and I still cannot drive past the Alzheimer's unit where she and my daddy spent the last years of their amazing 67 year marriage. But, as Ms. Bartocci explained, I am having more "good days" than bad and am gradually able to talk about my parents without tearing up. Thank God for this book because her words encouraged me to allow myself to continue in my grief, gradually getting better, instead of making myself deny it,even to myself - which would probably have had dreadful consequences. I recommend this book with the highest recommendation and I want to thank the author for her kind heart and for being so open with her life so that she may help people like me.
A must for any adult who's lost a parent.......2002-09-24
When I was 12 years old, my father died six weeks after a massive heart attack. A month ago, four days before my 34th birthday, my mother died suddenly. I'm a late-comer and my siblings are a much older than me. They have their families. I have my career. Although my religious beliefs give me peace, there is still an immense sadness. I am not yet married, my beloved will never know my wonderful parents. Any children I may have will never know their maternal grandparents. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, so this causes me grief for what my children who aren't even born yet have lost.
This book is wonderful and helped me to understand different feelings that I've been having and let me know that these feelings are not unique.
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